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Has This Happened To You?

Jer

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I agree with you. It's just hard sometimes because he takes my refusal to marry as a rejection and everything gets all tangled up from there but we've been making progress.

I could be COMPLETELY wrong here, but could it be that you are too scared to open up again, or are not willing to possibly hurt the other person? I know after things falling apart with Lillian I was very much of the mind of not going out with someone else, as there was too much risk of hurting them. I don't know now what I will do in the future - I kind of suspect I will be ok going for one when in a more hypomania period... it's hard to say. But it's very hard when you care so much for someone and yet we end up doing stuff that is so stupid.
 
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quietpraiyze

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Jer :)

It's not so much being afraid to open up because I've been open. I think it's moreso an issue of just trusting my instincts and my need to protect myself. I know deep down that unless a person has really come into contact with a manic, that they have no ideal what they're dealing with. They have no understanding of the "world of mental illness" and I understand this because I didn't know until I got sick. Mental illness is so well hidden that it's almost like living in a parallel universe (if that makes sense). Also with the help of the Lord I've created an environment that is conducive to me staying as healthy as I can. I don't know how the stimuli of having another person in my space 24/7 would affect that seeing how I'm entering into menopause. From everything I've read thus far regarding menopause and bipolar, it's not pretty. So I'm thinking about some not too distant realities and doing what I can do health wise. I think a friendship is healthier for me.
 
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Loven God

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I know what you mean , I am not looking forward to what menopause is going to do all ready missed up mind , If you are happy with just a relationship then that is what I would do . You know what is best for you .
I am 53 and can feel the changes to my bipolar from menopause . My poor husband has to put up with all of this , he is so understanding , God blessed me with him .
 
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quietpraiyze

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When I would ask health care practioners about menopause and bipolar everybody would go dumb. They wouldn't answer the question. Finally I went on line and at first I didn't find anything so I started thinking maybe there's nothing out there. So I stopped looking for a couple years. I recently thought I would give it another try. Instead of typing menopause and bipolar, I typed menopause and mental illness. That's when it came up. I wasn't surprised by the findings but it did confirm what I had been feeling. While all the other mental illnesses stay pretty steady, bipolar is the only one that gets worse. At least now I know for sure and that is kind of comforting. I've been saying for years that there's a hormonal connection with bipolar.
 
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Jer

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It's not so much being afraid to open up because I've been open. I think it's moreso an issue of just trusting my instincts and my need to protect myself. I know deep down that unless a person has really come into contact with a manic, that they have no ideal what they're dealing with. They have no understanding of the "world of mental illness" and I understand this because I didn't know until I got sick. Mental illness is so well hidden that it's almost like living in a parallel universe (if that makes sense). Also with the help of the Lord I've created an environment that is conducive to me staying as healthy as I can. I don't know how the stimuli of having another person in my space 24/7 would affect that seeing how I'm entering into menopause. From everything I've read thus far regarding menopause and bipolar, it's not pretty. So I'm thinking about some not too distant realities and doing what I can do health wise. I think a friendship is healthier for me.

I understand what you mean, I have been the same for not understanding it. It sounded very much like you were being sensible and I agree with your view, that it is impossible for someone to know what it's like unless they've been through it (or seen it). I didn't mean to say you were, just was it something. I kind of think I'm very scared and that might affect me in future, not wanting to risk hurting someone again.
 
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Loven God

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I know that my doctor told me it gets worse with age , which was not much comfert becouse I thought if I am like this now what will it be like when I get older . It is a scary thought for me , I have all so thought about what would happen to me if anything ever happend to my husband becouse he does so much for me and helps keep me stable . I don't know if it is right or not but I do pray that i will die before he does becouse I could not make it with out him , does not say much about my faith right now . I do know one thing I would never take my own life .
 
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quietpraiyze

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Jer :)

I do understand what you're saying. What you're describing to me sounds like the normal process many of us go through. I think for a long time I was scared too, but I guess I hadn't noticed how much I'd grown. I'm in a better place all the way around . I know the Lord, the illness, and myself all better. Also when I met this person I wasn't really "looking" (although on some level I think as singles we're always "looking" lol) but I have a peace with my singleness but it is nice to have companionship.

I think when you're ready you'll just know...you'll sense it and it won't make you nutz.
 
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quietpraiyze

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A Dr. I had for years told me also that it gets worse as we get older but for some reason I didn't connect menopause to it duh! I guess I kinda figured that everything gets worse as we get older lol, so it just went over my head.

I really do understand what you're saying. I use to do the "what if's" all the time in my head. What if there's anarchy? What about the mark of the beast? What if my meds show up on one of those lawsuit commercials? lol you get the point. I don't know...all I've got going for me is God's track record. I know that he's faithful and He accepts our mustard seeds. Nothing catches Him by surprise. So you know we can rest in Him and who/what He provides for us. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying this is where I'm at with all of this right now. He can handle it.
 
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Loven God

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God will let you know when the right one comes along , be praying now for what kind of husband you what and what you in him . I was praying for a husband when I was 16 . I want a christain and a none drinker and smoker . Someone who would love me for who I am and could deal with my bipolar and that is what I got , God blessed me with what I asked for and can do the same for you . I just know in my heart you will not live your life alone .
 
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puppii

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I've just read through this thread and I'm bipolar and had to go to a counselor for seven years to get my meds when I was first diagnosed (I have switched dr.'s now and am happier). My therapist was no good and really didn't help me much at all either. I think you're handling it well and doing the right thing by watching what you say to her. God will put the people in your life that you need.

As for relationship's I've pretty much given up on that part of my life I realize I make bad choices and have made some pretty bad mistakes there. I have decided that if God wants me with someone fine if not that's fine too. That is totally up to Him!
 
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Loven God

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My therpist that I have now is great , at first I did not know how it would work with him being a man and me a lady , I had a women therpist before and felt that I could be more open with her , but I have found out that I can be just as open with the male therpist as well . I guess as long as the therpist is good it will not matter to me if it is male or female as long as I get good care .

Relationships are not for everyone and only you know what is right for you . I have a friend that is bipolar and she does not want a relatipnship becouse she is to unstable . I have friends that are bipolar and got married and devorced servale times trying to make it work . Then there are those like me and my husband who have been married for 33 years or longer . I think a relationship bepends on how stable we can stay and how well or mate can handle it . I know there must be times when my husbands thinks why did I marry this lady , but he is great . I hope we grow old togeather . Your thinking is right what ever God has planed for you will happen and if you can be happy with that then you will be fine . People do not have to be married to have a good and happy life .
 
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puppii

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My therpist that I have now is great , at first I did not know how it would work with him being a man and me a lady , I had a women therpist before and felt that I could be more open with her , but I have found out that I can be just as open with the male therpist as well . I guess as long as the therpist is good it will not matter to me if it is male or female as long as I get good care .

Relationships are not for everyone and only you know what is right for you . I have a friend that is bipolar and she does not want a relatipnship becouse she is to unstable . I have friends that are bipolar and got married and devorced servale times trying to make it work . Then there are those like me and my husband who have been married for 33 years or longer . I think a relationship bepends on how stable we can stay and how well or mate can handle it . I know there must be times when my husbands thinks why did I marry this lady , but he is great . I hope we grow old togeather . Your thinking is right what ever God has planed for you will happen and if you can be happy with that then you will be fine . People do not have to be married to have a good and happy life .

I'd love to have a good healthy relationship that works for me but so far it hasn't happened and I've learned to accept that it may never happen so...
 
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