Has God ever given you more than you could handle?

[Galadriel]

If I were to put in everything here in this post that I have been thru in the last year, It would be a small novel. I hurt my back last year at christmas and have been on disability since then. I have lost over 12,000 dollars in income this last year and had surgery in sept. I am facing another in mid january, more tedious and more serious than the first. So, I can really say that we are in the same boat and we are trying to row towards shore, But, The troubled waters push us farther out. We await our Lord to come to our aid and calm the seas. He will rescue us soon and take our burdens upon himself.

Hello Iddle4him,
Geez, it sounds like you are going thro a real rough time as well.
Yes, maybe we are in the same boat. Feeling like I am tryin to paddle HARD to safe ground but its usless. GEez, don't know HOW I'm gonna face this quite yet, <GULP>. I just hope it gets better if I ever manage to make it thro this. I guess I feel rather like Peter(or was it Paul?) walking on water, or maybe even Jesus in Gethsemene! Yipes! I hope God will see us thro both things that we are struggling with. Hang tough there.

 

[Salsa_1960]

In a 2 year period I experienced:

-loss of my 10 year old daughter (in an accident)
-placement of my profoundly mentally retarded/autistic daughter (in a group home-- and I am only able to see her about once a month because of distance)
-abandonment (my husband left our family for "someone else")
-moving twice (different cities each time)
-loss of a job
-physical problems (that aren't yet resolved)
​

Though I got support from my church, friends, a grieving support group, and my daughter's school, I also sought therapy (after some nudging from friends-- I didn't do it on my own). It has been so helpful. Sometimes we just can't handle things on our own and our friends don't know what to do either.

If things are getting too difficult, don't allow your society's taboos about mental health prevent you from getting the help that you need; that you deserve. When the helicopter comes to rescue you from the flood, get on board.

~Sandy

 

[water_ripple]

In a 2 year period I experienced:

-loss of my 10 year old daughter (in an accident)

-placement of my profoundly mentally retarded/autistic daughter (in a group home-- and I am only able to see her about once a month because of distance)
-abandonment (my husband left our family for "someone else")
-moving twice (different cities each time)
-loss of a job
-physical problems (that aren't yet resolved)

​

Though I got support from my church, friends, a grieving support group, and my daughter's school, I also sought therapy (after some nudging from friends-- I didn't do it on my own). It has been so helpful. Sometimes we just can't handle things on our own and our friends don't know what to do either.


If things are getting too difficult, don't allow your society's taboos about mental health prevent you from getting the help that you need; that you deserve. When the helicopter comes to rescue you from the flood, get on board.

~Sandy

I could not even begin to fathom the pain of loosing children. I've two of my own, and with my Aunt loosing her son (who was like a brother to me) I feel as if I cannot give her the right kind of support. Every time the subject is broached all I can do is cry. Not just because of my own personal grief, but because of the terrible grief she has. I am torn..I feel convicted because of my own grief that I feel I cannot bare this to be there for her as I know she needs.

It is my prayer sandy that God bestow His peace upon you, and guide you through all of your struggles. I wish I could be there in person to give you a hug, but a faith is what I give in love.

 

[Salsa_1960]

I could not even begin to fathom the pain of loosing children. I've two of my own, and with my Aunt loosing her son (who was like a brother to me) I feel as if I cannot give her the right kind of support. Every time the subject is broached all I can do is cry. Not just because of my own personal grief, but because of the terrible grief she has. I am torn..I feel convicted because of my own grief that I feel I cannot bare this to be there for her as I know she needs.

It is my prayer sandy that God bestow His peace upon you, and guide you through all of your struggles. I wish I could be there in person to give you a hug, but a faith is what I give in love.

Thank you.

There really is nothing you can say to your aunt "to make things better" and she probably realizes this just as much as you do.

The best thing I've found that a person can do for me is to remember my daughter-- Jennifer. (It sounds nice to hear her name). Friends and family are so afraid to say a deceased child's name. They're afraid that the parent will fall to pieces when they hear their son or daughter's name mentioned, when in fact they are aching to hear it said out loud again. It lets the parent know that their child has not been forgotten; and that is so important to know.

On Jennifer's birthday, this past July, only 2 people sent me cards. Though it hurt to only receive 2, it was nice to know that atleast a couple people were still thinking about her. (I'm sure others were thinking of her as well and just didn't know what to say, but that's hard to tell yourself when you're missing your daughter on her birthday and people seem to have forgotten her). Those "Thinking Of You" cards received on birthdays and anniversaries are precious.

I hope this is of some help to you in communicating with your aunt. Don't feel guilty that you yourself are grieving for your cousin as well. (Especially if he was like a brother to you). I would think that your aunt would appreciate knowing how much his life touched yours. It might help give her the reassurance that her son hasn't been forgotten.

 

[water_ripple]

Thank you.

There really is nothing you can say to your aunt "to make things better" and she probably realizes this just as much as you do.

The best thing I've found that a person can do for me is to remember my daughter-- Jennifer. (It sounds nice to hear her name). Friends and family are so afraid to say a deceased child's name. They're afraid that the parent will fall to pieces when they hear their son or daughter's name mentioned, when in fact they are aching to hear it said out loud again. It lets the parent know that their child has not been forgotten; and that is so important to know.

On Jennifer's birthday, this past July, only 2 people sent me cards. Though it hurt to only receive 2, it was nice to know that atleast a couple people were still thinking about her. (I'm sure others were thinking of her as well and just didn't know what to say, but that's hard to tell yourself when you're missing your daughter on her birthday and people seem to have forgotten her). Those "Thinking Of You" cards received on birthdays and anniversaries are precious.

I hope this is of some help to you in communicating with your aunt. Don't feel guilty that you yourself are grieving for your cousin as well. (Especially if he was like a brother to you). I would think that your aunt would appreciate knowing how much his life touched yours. It might help give her the reassurance that her son hasn't been forgotten.

Thanx for that insight..I wrote a piece about him, and was thinking of giving it to her for Christmas. I of course have been mulling this over for quite some time now. I hope that in this small way she can know that he will always be remembered.

 

[Salsa_1960]

Thanx for that insight..I wrote a piece about him, and was thinking of giving it to her for Christmas. I of course have been mulling this over for quite some time now. I hope that in this small way she can know that he will always be remembered.

I ofcourse don't know your aunt, but I'd be willing to guess that she would really appreciate that.

 

[razzelflabben]

I have been wanting to read this thread for a couple of days now and am just now finding the time. What a wonderful, encouraging thread this is.

I would very much like to add a bit of insight that helps me to deal with the day to day stuggles in our lives that would send most people over the edge. First, let me say that though trials and temptations are different, trails are deffinantly temptations to sin to get relief or simply walk away from a loving God, questioning His divine Love.

Secondly, when the waves come crashing in, I refocus my attention on God by reading 1Cor. 10:13 You see, when I read this and trust God that He is God, then I understand that He knows me better than I know myself. If what He is asking me to go through is not beyond my ability, then He in His wisdom knows something about me that I don't. Even when things are unbareable, God know what degree of faith we have, this trial or temptation is one way that God says to us, "I believe in you, you are special and if you didn't have the strength inside you to do this thing, I would not ask you to do it" Paul, Peter, and many others in scripture, found out that even though they didn't know the faith and relience on God was in them to endure the situation they were in, God knew it was there and that ability to trust God got them through the impossible. If you don't have the faith hidden within you, God won't ask it of you. YOU ARE HONORED BY GOD TO BE ASKED TO GO THROUGH THESE TRIALS OR TEMPTATIONS BECAUSE GOD KNOWS THE STRENGTH THAT IS DEEP WITHIN YOU, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIND WHAT GOD KNOWS IS THERE.
Turn your eyes off the waves and understand how very special you really are. You are blessed among people. James 1:2-8

 

[jessiegirl]

mrstance,

First I need to say, I always love reading the questions you put out. The really hit home with me and make me think.

Yes... I have felt this way many times. So many times that I have become really good at just turning everything over to God and let go. I take anti-depressants and they seem to help for the most part, but there are those times when I feel so helpless and tired.

The part I struggle with is when I look around me, I see people who have their pain and struggles. But I wonder when mine will let up enough to be like others. I have had my father and brother both commit suicide. I have a husband who is emotionally cruel. He is obsessed with pornography and money. It seems no matter how hard I try to be the best I can be, I have no control over my life stuggles because those I love are creating so much pain for me. I believe one day things will change for me. I believe there is a reason this happens to me. I don't understand today. But one day I will.

Hang in there!

Jessiegirl











11

 

[Salsa_1960]

Jessiegirl,
Be careful not to fall into the trap of co-dependency. There are some really good Christian books out there on the subject.

Do you ever watch Joyce Meyer?

 

[jessiegirl]

No I have never watched Joyce Meyer. Is it on television? If so...what time and channel?

jessiegirl

 

[Salsa_1960]

Joyce Meyer comes on CBN daily but is also on other stations (like WGN in Chicago) as well. She came from an abusive childhood and (first) marriage. She's a wonderful speaker and got great ministry.

Here is her website http://www.joycemeyer.org/
Here's where you can find her schedule: http://www.joycemeyer.org/cgi-bin/msoft/msoft.cgi?lang=en&setup_file=showpage.conf&directory=en&pagename=tvlst&CARTID=

Here are some of her articles: http://www.joycemeyer.org/cgi-bin/msoft/msoft.cgi?lang=en&setup_file=showpage.conf&CARTID=CA1jg3qWQK2JoCA8QngjQeCCRwCAIHTTnpU16lA&directory=en&pagename=help

Here is one she wrote about Abuse:

Abuse and the Miracle of Recovery

~by Joyce Meyer

During my childhood, I was abused sexually, emotionally, verbally, and physically.

Many of you reading this article have also been abused, or you deal with someone in your life who comes from an abusive, dysfunctional background.

What is abuse? It means to misuse, to use improperly, to use up, or to injure by maltreatment. Let me give you a brief definition of the four types of abuse.

Sexual abuse: considered to be the most degrading and offensive. It consists of molestation, rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, etc.

Emotional abuse: withholding of love, attention, loving touches, or words of acceptance. Love is only given based on acceptable performance, etc.

Abandonment: would fall under the category of emotional abuse and can occur when one or both parents leave the child physically or mentally. Adults can also experience the devastating effects of abandonment if important people in their lives leave suddenly or violently.

Verbal abuse: People must hear loving words of acceptance to develop properly. Verbal abuse can be overt or covert. Overt: aggressive, angry words which tell you that you are flawed or unacceptable Covert: loving words withheld

Physical abuse: beatings, unfair discipline, locked in closets or dark rooms, food withheld, etc.

The effects of abuse can be devastating and long lasting. Many people never recover from abuse.

Although I functioned as what appeared to be "normal" in society, I had multiple inward problems and complicated personality disorders. I will name a few of the things going on in me at that time that prevented me from righteousness, peace, and joy that Romans 14:17 declares is the kingdom. God the Father sent Jesus so we could have and enjoy "the kingdom."

I was bitter about my past and had a chip on my shoulder, which caused me to have the attitude that everyone owed me preferential treatment. I was full of self-pity, especially if things did not go my way. I was controlling, manipulative, fearful, insecure, and harsh. I was just plain hard to get along with and often downright obnoxious. I was judgmental, suspicious, and very negative.

I experienced a lot of guilt and condemnation. I had a shame-based nature; therefore, everything I attempted was poisoned. Since I did not like who I was, I spent many years trying to be like someone else—I am sure you are getting the picture that I was quite a mess.

Now, what I am getting ready to say is important. I WAS BORN AGAIN AND ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN CHURCH LIFE. We attended church regularly and did church work. Our lives revolved around the church, but I was not getting victory over my problems. In fact, the really sad part was that I did not even understand that I had a problem. I thought everyone else had a problem; and if they would change, I would be happy.

In 1976 1 received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Acts 1:8 speaks of receiving the power to be witnesses. Notice it does not say to do witnessing, but to be witnesses. The Bible says we are to be living epistles read of all men, light in a dark world, and the salt of the earth. Doing is a different thing than being. I had my outside polished up, but my inner life was a wreck. Quite often the inner turmoil exploded, and then everybody could see I was not quite what I appeared to be.

The outpouring of the Holy Spirit in my life gave me a real love for God's Word and an ability to understand the Word like never before. Second Corinthians 3:18 (paraphrased) says that as we look into the Word of God, it is like looking into a mirror; and we are transformed into His image from glory to glory.

I have been changing ever since. I have changed, and changed, and changed; and I am still changing. Most of those problems are completely gone and the rest only flare up occasionally. I even look differently—I look younger, happier, and more peaceful.

Second Corinthians 5:17 (paraphrased) says if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things have passed away; behold, all things are made new. But that really does not mean everything from the past just vanishes. The Amplified Bible brings it out this way, "Behold, the fresh and new has come!" In other words, without Jesus there is no hope of newness of life; the past always affects the future without the power of God to overcome it. But even with Jesus, it is not automatic. When the fresh and new comes, there is opportunity; but we must give the Word of God an exalted place in our lives. We must face the truth as revealed to us in His Word, and then the truth will set us free if it is acted upon.

I want to encourage you! Keep pressing on. You will keep changing if you stay in the Word. Philippians 1:6 (paraphrased) says He that has begun a good work in you is well able to bring it to completion. Hebrews 12:2 (paraphrased) says look to Jesus who is the author and the finisher of our faith.

Now I am enjoying kingdom living: "Righteousness, peace, and joy." And no matter what your past has been or how many problems you have, God will do a miracle for you. He will change you into the image of Jesus Christ and give you a new life worth living.

Copyright ©1998-2002 Life In The Word, Inc./Joyce Meyer Ministries. All rights reserved.
Copyright Policy
​

 

[cyberwing]

When we are in the trial or tribulation it is hard. Very hard. I have found the quicker I seek Him and surrender to His will, the quicker the trial seems to end. I have had my terrible trials but the key was always to keep my eyes on Jesus regardless of what was happening around me. This is the lesson we must learn from Peter. The storm was blowing all about him, but he WAS WALKING on the water until he took his eyes off of Jesus and began to worry about the 'real world' around him!
God is not moved by need, HE is moved by faith. Trusting Him is what will stir Him up to intercede in your behalf. Please remember though, God does not send nor make our trouble. He allows the enemy to attack us under certain circumstances (ex. maybe if we are getting slack about our faith or if it's time for us to come into a deeper level with Him) However do not forget we have an enemy, satan and his fallen angels are the ones that are out to do us harm. They are always seeking to destroy us. God may allow these things to occur but it is up to us whether we 'go around the mountain one more time' or not. We will take the same test again and again if we fail. Sandy is right, Joyce Meyer is a spectacular teacher especially for those of us that have issues and struggles to deal with.
Having thrown pots, I love the parallel of this to our lives as followers of Jesus. We are the clay, HE is the potter. There is a reason they call it 'throwing' pots, because you must throw the raw clay hard, REALLY hard! Over and over again, against the hard surface to send all the air bubbles and impurities out of the clay. (If you don't, the pot will tear on the wheel or explode in the kiln fire!)
I have cried out, like the 'pot' would in the kiln if it could talk.... "The fire is hot, it burns!!! Please take me out of this I can't stand it.... if I don't get relief soon, I am sure I will die!" Then when it comes out of the fire it is stronger, more beautiful than when it went in.... It must undergo this process over and over until it survives the first firing.... Then it gets a glaze coating and goes BACK into an even HOTTER fire! Then it comes out a finished product that is useful to the creator.....
There are more parallels to the throwing of pots and the Christian walk but I think you see my point. Also when we are feeling weak, down-trodden by the trials and tribulations, that is when our Christian Brothers and Sisters are to help us. That entails my 'eagle story' which many of you know already. If you wish to read it, PM me or you can read on Whitehorse's thread.
We are to help others when they are down. Then when it is our turn to be in the valley, God will have others there for us.
{{{HUGS}}} for each of you, you are all so very dear! Jesus, help us keep our eyes on YOU!!!
~Cyberwing

 

[wakeboardwithheart]

"During my childhood, I was abused sexually, emotionally, verbally, and physically.

Many of you reading this article have also been abused, or you deal with someone in your life who comes from an abusive, dysfunctional background.

What is abuse? It means to misuse, to use improperly, to use up, or to injure by maltreatment. Let me give you a brief definition of the four types of abuse.

Sexual abuse: considered to be the most degrading and offensive. It consists of molestation, rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, etc.

Emotional abuse: withholding of love, attention, loving touches, or words of acceptance. Love is only given based on acceptable performance, etc.

Abandonment: would fall under the category of emotional abuse and can occur when one or both parents leave the child physically or mentally. Adults can also experience the devastating effects of abandonment if important people in their lives leave suddenly or violently.

Verbal abuse: People must hear loving words of acceptance to develop properly. Verbal abuse can be overt or covert. Overt: aggressive, angry words which tell you that you are flawed or unacceptable Covert: loving words withheld

Physical abuse: beatings, unfair discipline, locked in closets or dark rooms, food withheld, etc."

all of that stuff has/is happening to me. as a matter of fact..i just picked the lock on the closet i was being locked in. i havent eaten in the past 3 days and my father does stuff to me then beats me when hes done. i know about the damages of child abuse. the physiacal and mental damage. its alot harder than most people thik to stay alive when i know that nobody wants me to be here.

 

[razzelflabben]

"During my childhood, I was abused sexually, emotionally, verbally, and physically.

Many of you reading this article have also been abused, or you deal with someone in your life who comes from an abusive, dysfunctional background.

What is abuse? It means to misuse, to use improperly, to use up, or to injure by maltreatment. Let me give you a brief definition of the four types of abuse.

Sexual abuse: considered to be the most degrading and offensive. It consists of molestation, rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, etc.

Emotional abuse: withholding of love, attention, loving touches, or words of acceptance. Love is only given based on acceptable performance, etc.

Abandonment: would fall under the category of emotional abuse and can occur when one or both parents leave the child physically or mentally. Adults can also experience the devastating effects of abandonment if important people in their lives leave suddenly or violently.

Verbal abuse: People must hear loving words of acceptance to develop properly. Verbal abuse can be overt or covert. Overt: aggressive, angry words which tell you that you are flawed or unacceptable Covert: loving words withheld

Physical abuse: beatings, unfair discipline, locked in closets or dark rooms, food withheld, etc."

all of that stuff has/is happening to me. as a matter of fact..i just picked the lock on the closet i was being locked in. i havent eaten in the past 3 days and my father does stuff to me then beats me when hes done. i know about the damages of child abuse. the physiacal and mental damage. its alot harder than most people thik to stay alive when i know that nobody wants me to be here.

First let me assure you that you are wanted. Second, let me ask you if you are able to get help out of this situation and into a home where Love exists and is freely given? If not, how can we help get you someplace safe?

 

[wakeboardwithheart]

im leaving here soon...dont worry about it.

 

[razzelflabben]

im leaving here soon...dont worry about it.

To Love is to "worry" and I reserve the right to do so, both love and "worry"

 

[wakeboardwithheart]

you shouldnt love me..its a waste of energy.but who am i to stop you?

 

[razzelflabben]

you shouldnt love me..its a waste of energy.but who am i to stop you?

Though my words will not convince you, you have given me great hope this day and I have found great worth in you. You are a great person and someday I pray that you will see the worth that is within you. The worth that others are not seeing, the worth that only you possess. I do love you.

 

[wakeboardwithheart]

i have no worth..my father and ex boyfriend made sure of that.

 

[razzelflabben]

i have no worth..my father and ex boyfriend made sure of that.

They do not know everything young one. Your worth is not the sum of what others take from you but what you have when this world is finished with you.