Has anyone else here lost a parent in their 20s or sooner?

[Sarahharpmusic]

Last year, I lost my father when I was 22. It's hard to explain, but I know if you've been in the same situation, you probably know what I mean. Everything just feels different, less important, scarier. I guess I am mainly looking for fellowship here, people who have gone through the same thing I have. I hope this thread generates advice, stories, or heartache we can all share in while supporting one another.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[Kevin Snow]

My sister died when she was 3 through complications of her health. It was very sad but I know that she is in heaven and is so much better off.

I also have suffered the loss of my parents but not through death. My father is unrepentant of his sin which destroyed our family and he won't change. Not that he can't. He won't.

My mother has pushed everyone away and has isolated herself in her own world. She speaks blasphemies whenever we argue about God.

These people were supposed to be my role models and now I am alone in seeking after God. I have wept my eyes out for them and their salvation. I cannot begin to describe my horror if they are not saved and yet they do not want to have anything to do with the truth.

My family has failed. I can only repent myself of my own sin and seek God to make a new family, in hope that through him I will be strong enough to lead my family in the way we should go.

I'm so sorry that you lost your dad in the way you did. I understand what you are saying. Where is the protection? Where is the comfort? We just are left to our own selves. Where is the guidance and the direction?

I know that God is able to lead us.

 

[Daniel9v9]

My mother died of random heart failure in my late teens, and my father committed suicide in my early 20s. I wouldn't have been able to pull through if it wasn't for God's grace; knowing that we have a heavenly Father who is rich in mercy, peace, comfort and love.

It is fine to mourn, but we don't need to mourn as those without hope, for Christ is our hope.

God bless +

 

[Humble me Lord]

Yes, Sarah, I lost my dad when I was 11. He died of a massive heart attack at the age of 39, with me right there holding his hand. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I will turn 50 later this week.
I believe I was in shock or a brain fog for about a year afterwards, and left in a wandering state for a long time.
I accepted the Lord as my savior in my later teens, but had no one to guide me in what to do next. I know His hand was protecting me and He was calling for me, but I ran away. Through a couple of selfish stepfathers my mother tried to replace him with, I just went through life trying to do things my own way, figuring everything out on my own.
This caused me more great heartache through a failed 9 year marriage and ugly divorce, and then finally, in my mid 30's I found the woman God had intended for me all along, she guided me into a true relationship with the Lord, and with Him as the head of our marriage, we will be together until the end.

So, what I can tell you, after having gone through it and coming out blessed on the other side.
First off, death is not an easy thing to come to terms with, but God does have a plan for your life.
I never really found peace about my dad's death until I finally submitted to Him, and I can see how He used that for my benefit later in life.
We do have the most Loving Father you could imagine and He desires a personal relationship with you. Pray to Him, talk to Him, and let Him guide you through life.
You will still have struggles, heartache and pain, but it's much easier with Him as our guide in everything than to go it alone.
So, I will keep you in my prayers, and time does heal.
One of my favorite things to read when I struggle is Psalms 91, it always lifts my spirit.

 

[Sam81]

I fear it everyday, but so far, I still have both parents. I am 36 now. But I did lose my only sister when I was 31 (she was 30). We were very, very close. It was devastating. My dad took it pretty hard but is okay, but my mother went absolutely insane and is now mentally disabled as a result. So that's hard.

 

[Seadish]

Lil brother leukemia at 10 dad - I was 18 massive heart attack, mom breast cancer I was 28 so yeah you will make it through it it does get better you will always think of them God Bless you

 

[W2L]

My dad died when i was in my early twenties. He had cancer. The worst part about it was that i was not there for him in his hour of need. Thats something i must live with.

 

[LovesOurLord]

Last year, I lost my father when I was 22. It's hard to explain, but I know if you've been in the same situation, you probably know what I mean. Everything just feels different, less important, scarier. I guess I am mainly looking for fellowship here, people who have gone through the same thing I have. I hope this thread generates advice, stories, or heartache we can all share in while supporting one another.

What you're describing is a natural part of the grieving process. My mother died suddenly when I was 16 and at the year anniversary of her death, I was 17 and the grief hit me like a ton of bricks. So bad, in fact, that I was outside on the sidewalk and had to brace my legs so as to not fall over because my legs had turned into jello and given out on me. It was more than just mere grief; it was a very deep, intense, crippling grief that just hit me like a rock. I think part of the problem was that we had moved to very close to the hospital where she died and those memories would hit me literally whenever I stepped out of my door because of the view. One thing I recall that accompanied it was this horrid feeling of everything being pulled out from under me, I lost my sense of security, and I felt absolutely lost. I literally felt like a lost abandoned puppy on the side of a highway. I realized that was created by my grief and was not a real thing, and I was patient with myself and the process. I always found that resumption of normal activities was an aid to me as I was doing things that I normally did, so it helped that feeling of stability and normalcy return.

My father died in a fire while at work when I was 19, however, as I didn't know him, he took off with his mistress in the middle of the night before I was born, skipped town and never paid child support or visited me, left my housewife mother with no income, so his death really didn't mean much of anything. Part of me was amused he died in a fire, I considered it karma and thought he burned us so his employer burned him. Even to this day I am unable to forgive him for how he treated and abandoned us and it's something I've prayed over. It was very difficult to find out that while we were living check-to-check sometimes eating little more than beans and rice until payday, sometimes went to school on an empty stomach, and was not adequately dressed for winter, he had a high paying job as a company president out of state, bought a house with horses, a Cadillac, a Trans Am, a Jeep, and a sailboat. He and his mistress-wife (he committed bigamy as he never bothered to divorce my mother) even took in foster sons to care for while he left us without. When I discovered that news I was sick to my stomach. I literally felt as if I had been hit as hard as possible in the stomach with a baseball bat. I was intensely physically ill. To this day if I think about it long enough, it makes me cry. And he died in 1990. It is beyond my capacity to forgive him. I have a half sister five months younger than me out of state that I've yet to meet, and she has a photo album of him. I don't think I ever want to look inside it. She offered to show me his grave, I declined.

 

[LovesOurLord]

My dad died when i was in my early twenties. He had cancer. The worst part about it was that i was not there for him in his hour of need. Thats something i must live with.

Last time I talked to my mother was when she called home from work about 2 hours before she collapsed, telling me to clean my room. I was grouchy on the phone with her.

 

[LovesOurLord]

I have suffered loss not through death but through living in a dysfunctional family that isn't as entertaining as the ones you see in the sitcoms.

You can never rely on anything in the world. Always, always anchor yourself in Christ.

 

[Michael]

Last year, I lost my father when I was 22. It's hard to explain, but I know if you've been in the same situation, you probably know what I mean. Everything just feels different, less important, scarier. I guess I am mainly looking for fellowship here, people who have gone through the same thing I have. I hope this thread generates advice, stories, or heartache we can all share in while supporting one another.

I lost my mother in my early 20's and it took me quite some time to find my 'joy' again. I felt a lot of grief for years afterwords and I shared many of your same feelings about life feeling less important and a bit 'darker'. I can tell you that eventually that kind of hurt subsides and the joy I felt about life did return over time. When I started a family of my own, that process did in fact help to fill in the void of some of the missing love that I felt. Even at the age of 59, I still miss my mom. I've been fortunate to still enjoy the company of my father, including last Christmas. That's been helpful.

My best advice is to embrace change. It's the one constant in life. Nothing really replaces a parent, but I know from experience that time does in fact heal even the deepest of wounds. The loss of my mother did in fact cause me to remember to express my love in the moment as often as possible. That change in my attitude helped me a great deal.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. If my life is any indication, life does return to a sense of normalcy again, and grief eventually gets replaced with fond memories of the good times that you shared with your parent. Hang in there.

 

[Darkhorse]

When I was 22, my dad discovered that he had lung cancer. The doctor gave him 4 months to live; he died 1 day short of that.

For about a year, my life was very dark. There were light moments here and there, and I tried to help my mom deal with it, but in the alone hours, it seemed the darkness would never end.

But it did end, slowly. I re-engaged with life and moved from the past into the present. I knew God was there with me through all of this, but there were no dramatic revelations from Him, just support which helped me put one foot in front of the other. A few years later, I could look back and see that He was preparing me for better things...

The darkness slowly became light, and the "better things" started to happen.
Your darkness will end also, and you will be more mature from the experience.

 

[Lost4words]

My father disowned me at age 17 because he couldn't handle the fact that he had a disabled son instead of the athletic, popular, honors student son he always wanted. My mother and I are not on speaking terms right now because I'm resisting being used as something to fulfill a need for control she has after having a hard childhood in her past. It's possible I may move out on my own in low income housing with both my parents out of my life soon. My sister I suspect is still ashamed of me being in the same family as her since I cramp her style with my mere existence.

I have suffered loss not through death but through living in a dysfunctional family that isn't as entertaining as the ones you see in the sitcoms.

You got us, your friends here.

God bless you

 

[Lost4words]

Last year, I lost my father when I was 22. It's hard to explain, but I know if you've been in the same situation, you probably know what I mean. Everything just feels different, less important, scarier. I guess I am mainly looking for fellowship here, people who have gone through the same thing I have. I hope this thread generates advice, stories, or heartache we can all share in while supporting one another.

I lost my twin brother at 22 years old. That is over 30 years ago now. I lost both my parents by the time i was 40. I dream about them all the time. Every week. They are always in my prayers.

You will get stronger. Certain things will trigger saddness. But, knowing that they are in Heaven and at peace, is so special.

God bless you. May He give you strength and happiness.

 

[dogs4thewin]

Yes, I was 23 when I lost my dad to a long and hard-fought battle with colon cancer. Now 27. Yes, that is why I have colon cancer awareness in my signature. I feel the same way in it being sort of weird and hard because most people still have both parents at my age. I am hoping it will get some better as I get older and more people my age start losing parents; although in my high school class there were several of us that loss our dad in 2015 ( like me) and a couple that loss dad in school. I went to a fairly small high school with less than 200 people in each graduating class.

I am sorry for your loss, but know that you are NOT alone.

 

[Aquatic Waves]

Sending you my condolences and prayers. I lost my dad at age 20 and lost my mom at age 23. It was really hard and devastating for me. And it still is today.