Happy to be single?

[bobross]

I have to ask -

Is there anyone here who is actually happy and content being single? I was married at one time and got divorced and I have to say I'm quite happy being single. Am I alone in this thinking?

 

[blackribbon]

You are not alone. However, I was happily married for 17 years when my hubby died and I miss being half of a team.

 

[exitstageright]

I have to ask -

Is there anyone here who is actually happy and content being single? I was married at one time and got divorced and I have to say I'm quite happy being single. Am I alone in this thinking?

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays ,I am happy that I am single. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays,I wish I was married. On Sundays ,I am contented. In other words,on different days,I wish I was married. On some days,I am glad that I am single. When I hear a couple argue in public,I am glad that I am single! When I see a couple making out in public,I wish I had someone to make out with.

 

[chinchillin]

I hate when people make out in public. It grosses me out.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I hate when people make out in public. It grosses me out.

I don't mind affection but if you are going to sit there in public and make out and do everything but have sex, yeah, my thought is always "get a room"

Happy to be single? YES and NO. I miss my husband terribly but I have always been independent so I really like the fact that aside from my younger son, I can pretty much do what I want. If I don't want to make or eat dinner I don't have to, and if I don't feel like cleaning the house I don't have to, and if I feel like going to a movie, I can go, even if it means I go alone, which I don't really mind if it's a chick flick.
BUT I really miss having a partner. Someone that will tell me or make me feel like no matter what, it's going to be alright. Someone to hold me when I'm sad, and go dancing with me when I'm happy. And some places you can't go alone, I mean I guess you could but it would be awkward. Like going to a Sandals resort. That's for couples. I am not a couple. So that part I'm not happy being single. Plus it's really handy if your spouse is handy to fix things around the house too
But then again, relationships take a lot of work and time and energy and some days I just don't have that in me to do.
In the end, I do hope I find someone that wants me. I hope that he will love me more than I could love him back. I have always been the one that loved more. It would be great to have it the other way around, But who knows what
God has planned, so we shall see. I would love it if the guy pursued me first too. But if it never happens, I am content. I think I have learned, like Paul to be content in whatever situation I am in. At least that is my hope.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I have to ask -

Is there anyone here who is actually happy and content being single? I was married at one time and got divorced and I have to say I'm quite happy being single. Am I alone in this thinking?

No, you are not alone. In fact, there is a lot of us Christians who have been thru a divorce at least once....who are now quite content being Single . Some have to work at finding Joy by being Single again, while some find it a welcomed blessing . Initially after my divorce, I was not happy being Single again and once I had gotton healthy again emotionally...I set out to find a Dating Partner that would result in marriage again ; I especially concentrated on going to evangelical Churches that had a high percentage of Asians as I think a lot can be said for the culture in which they were raised in. Fast Forward many years to where I am today....I now remain Single by choice and find the Christian Single walk filled with new adventures, wonderful independence , plentiful serving opportunities, much less stressful, more time to be involved in things of interest including Church related acitivities and ministries, and more freedom to worship and praise God in my own special ways . I can say that it was a gradual journey to finally arriving at the place I am today concerning my fulfillment and happiness as a CHristian Single --- I experienced God working in my life repeatedly in conjunction with Me cooperating in what he was doing in and thru me.

I sincerely believe that I am called to remain Single now , but I still view Marriage as Gods more popular Ideal in life for Christians ..... that is....IF the two people are indeed equipped for the challenges that Marriage demands.

I might add that a good indicator it would seem as to whether One is suitable for Singleness again, is.....to what level they can function well by going Solo . Some folks just seem to be plain lost in this Status, while Others seem to be right at home with it. Ultimately however....we should all try to be pleased and content with what Gods Will is for our lives given how short human life is versus how very long eternal life is . And with that in mind, it should spur us on to focusing on HOW our lives can be used in a great way for Gods glory while time permits. It goes along with the biblical mandate of : Setting your sights on things above which last forever...instead of the temporal.


So glad to hear of your fulfilling Singleness . I might add....it is a nice place to be coming from IF God decided to change your desire and bring a Godly woman along for life. Dave.

 

[CajunQueen]

I will admit I've always been very co-dependent, so I can't really say I'm happy to be single. But at the same time, I don't see myself ever being in a romantic relationship again. I get very lonely pretty often, but I wouldn't say I'm an unhappy person overall. Being lonely for me doesn't necessarily mean being unhappy. Does that make sense? I think I just totally contradicted myself

 

[Eagle Of Oz]

I was struggling with being single a whole lot more up until a couple of months ago. I feel like I'm ready for a relationship, and Ive worked hard to process all the crap from my past etc. I was kinda getting impatient, and basically saying to God, come on, where is he? Out of the blue I felt God say that He is preparing the man who He has planned for me, for when the time is right, and preparing me, for when the the time is right. He told me to trust Him, focus on Him, and to stay on the path that Hes placed me on. Since then, Ive had a sense of peace about it all, most the time, where I pretty much had none before. I want His will for who it is, and His timing. Even if I do still occasionally chuck a lil hissy fit, stamp my feet and pout!!

 

[dayhiker]

When I was young I wasn't happy being single. I was happy being married and now that I'm single again, I'm happy being single. But while I'm home alone quite often, I also spend a lot of time with people and also with several ladies.

 

[iambren]

Between my exes I was very happy. Now,post divorce from 15 yr marriage and children, I strongly dislike being single.

 

[blackribbon]

I am comfortable being alone. I can do things alone no problem. I had to do a lot alone when I was married because of my husband's work hours. Since he died, I moved 1500 miles away from home to a state where I knew noone so people would let me make my own decisions. I took two teenagers and made a home for them...and they have turned out to be pretty decent happy people. I started school and am about to finish and begin a new career...and have planned out dreams for the remainder of my life that are about being solo cause that is what I have to work with. So it isn't about not knowing how to be alone and have a good life. I just don't want to to be alone.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I will admit I've always been very co-dependent, so I can't really say I'm happy to be single. But at the same time, I don't see myself ever being in a romantic relationship again. I get very lonely pretty often, but I wouldn't say I'm an unhappy person overall. Being lonely for me doesn't necessarily mean being unhappy. Does that make sense? I think I just totally contradicted myself

I was C0-dependent for a long while....I felt I always needed a Significant Other in my life in order for me to feel good about myself, wanted, and fulfilled. I outgrew that over time and thru drawing closer to the Lord, and, by gathering around me lots of friends of both sexes.

Why don't you see yourself being in a romantic relationship every again ? Do you struggle with trust issues from past disappointments ? If so, its common. Just wondering if you care to explain.

I think you may be 'alone' and not 'lonely' ... would this be more accurate ? It is with myself currently.

 

[iambren]

I believe that some people ar "happy in their own skin". I am not. I wonder if it is partly a personality effect of the INTP who is strongly independent. I feel like a hallowed out tomb,removed from all around me. Who can heal "hollow man"?

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I believe that some people ar "happy in their own skin". I am not. I wonder if it is partly a personality effect of the INTP who is strongly independent. I feel like a hallowed out tomb,removed from all around me. Who can heal "hollow man"?

If im not mistaken, I think you've only been divorced a short time ? If so, you shouldn't expect to feel whole again so soon ; going thru a Divorce is like being hit by a train on an emotional level and it takes time to heal from it. The Person who can heal Hollow-Man and any Man, is Christ and if you stay close to him during this time of tragedy in your life and allow him to walk with you thru it all....he will minister to your Soul and you will see a turn-around starting to take place in time . The worse thing that can occur right now, is for a Divorced person to rebound because he/she is lonely . Instead, id get into a good Divorce Recovery Class and work the program , and also....to keep ALL friendships with the opposite sex very platonic for a good year or so . Youll be glad you did .

 

[bobross]

Thank you all for your responses. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone!

 

[iambren]

David,I've been divorced for 5 years and that seems to be a little late to blame it all on that.

Ross,I hope you find peace in whatever marital state you are called to. Most of us are NOT called to celibacy and have to believe that two hearts (yours being one) will join soon.

My brother used to describe marriage as flies on a window screen. The ones inside are trying to get out; those outside are trying to get in. Hope you find your peace in whatever direction makes you happy.

 

[bobross]

David,I've been divorced for 5 years and that seems to be a little late to blame it all on that.

Ross,I hope you find peace in whatever marital state you are called to. Most of us are NOT called to celibacy and have to believe that two hearts (yours being one) will join soon.

My brother used to describe marriage as flies on a window screen. The ones inside are trying to get out; those outside are trying to get in. Hope you find your peace in whatever direction makes you happy.

I didn't say I was called to celibacy. I just don't want to be in another relationship. Personal choice.

 

[Texas101]

I have found that there's a lot that I can do that I couldn't when I was married. The ability to pursuit my hobbies, travels, and career goals with more efficiency than I could if I were married. I'm not opposed to marriage I don't see happening a second time.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

David,I've been divorced for 5 years and that seems to be a little late to blame it all on that.

.........................

What can you narrow your feeling of emptiness and loneliness down to ? Do you believe you are living a full Spiritual Life whereby your Christian Walk is deeply meaningful to you and one that is displayed outwardly thru serving God and Others ? Just wondering .

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

I have found that there's a lot that I can do that I couldn't when I was married. The ability to pursuit my hobbies, travels, and career goals with more efficiency than I could if I were married. I'm not opposed to marriage I don't see happening a second time.

Now im in my 50's , I find much pleasure in hobbies, activities, events, and serving God and Others. It is true a Divorcee has more time and opportunities ... at least those whos kids are grown . Im glad I got the chance to experience marriage of 6 years , but the joy/peace/and tranquility now in my life is at its highest I would say. And, im soaking it all in .