Great Thread!
After my 1st charismatic experience back in my young 20s and by the providence of our Great & sovereign God, as I wandered from that time, in & out of church hopping over the next 20+ years, all of which because I thought this is what I had to do, seeking that health, wealth, success & happiness gospel, desiring that holy spirit power so I could name it and claim it, to learn how to manipulate God to provide all I ever wanted (Thanks Amway and the charismatic movement), was even taught that great gift (NOT) of private & public tongue worship, and as I continued to fail in all of the spiritual gift departments
I then simply gave up because it became evident to me
I just didnt have enough faith
so I must not be going to heaven, but walked with that certain fearful expectation of going to hell for eternity, yet all the while denying that was true, even to the point of proclaiming I was atheist, if not verbally, certainly by my actions and unbelief
until about 5 years ago.
I came to love the witness God sent into my life (and HIS, GOD'S church), whom I then loved to hate. (because he told me I was a sinner and deserved to go to hell
All my Calvinist Brothers & Sisters know what I mean here). But more & most importantly, I was shown the true God of scripture and His gracious grace, His marvelous mercy, His perfect will and plan for His own glory and not mine, and the true Jesus Christ whom truly is the Sheppard of His sheep of which none can snatch us out of His or His Fathers hand, not even ourselves by choice, decision nor will
WOW
still in awe that He would bestow such a Love upon the wretches of any man, even without our permission. Yet now I see, all I had gone through for the last 20+ years (since my birth actually 45+ yrs) was God in His ultimate power, destroying all my plans, leading & guiding me to the day of my conversion, being made able to see immediately all the lies of the modern day church and the true purpose of Christs death on the cross, all for my good. Even more Awestruck
is that He could have sent me to hell at any given moment during my life before regeneration for my sins, thus I am so thankful that darkness I once loved (and still struggle in many areas) He has by His Spirit shown me to hate, yet I can now know and trust that because of the righteousness of Christ alone and not anything in myself, I may enter His kingdom because of His finished work on the cross for sinners!!! What an awesome God!!!
Most times I cant even find the words to express that which would ever truly express all the happy, yet in all that happy, there is still the reality of suffering for Christs sake and His righteousness for the sake of His kingdom, yet even in that, we are made able to count it all joy, to be counted worthy of His calling and election. This is true privilege and honor and health, wealth and happiness, all the while, all the success has always been in Christ!!!
"To God be all the Gory" Amen.
FreeInChrist2