Happily Married?

[annafullofgrace]

I've even heard people say (to and about me), "NO ONE is that happy together. They're trying too hard to make everyone believe they are, but they have to be hiding something."

YES!!! I have had the same issue. We put a lot into our marriage and each other. We make us a priority, we were friends for a long time before dating, we’ve just always been close. There such a sweetness of growing older with your best friend. We are celebrating 15 yrs of marriage this year. I don’t see why others are so intimidated by that. We are honestly happy for couple we see that are like that.

 

[MoneyGuy]

Been happily married for 30 years, married for 39. I'M KIDDING! Happily married 39 years. I hope to see 60 but I dunno. We'd both have to live to 85. Maybe.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I think it gets harder in the middle of the marriage... Like, if you’re stupid happy but dating, it’s the “dating phase.” If you’re happy and it’s the first couple years of marriage/dating, it’s the “honeymoon phase.” But when you’ve exited that into “old married couple” territory at 5, 7, 10+ years, it’s almost like being happy still is you being fake, weird, putting on a show, etc.

 

[annafullofgrace]

We also do everything together. I get the "how do you get your husband to go grocery shopping with you?" Um, he wants to. It's developed into a habit. Then they go on and on and gripe about what they don't do as a couple. It's literally the little things that count. Since I know being happy in a marriage seems to be a touchy topic, I don't flaunt it on facebook. I do, however, encourage the ones who do have it rough when their spouse does something nice for them and they post it, give them a little praise for it. Lord knows we need all the encouragements we can give and take!

We do everything togther as well. I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works from home. We’re just akwsys together. It’s weird when we are not.

I have a question about the latter part of your post...why is it not okay to post things about being happy together on fb? Why does it matter? And perhaps there is no real answer. If I see a post or picture that has sentimental meaning and reminds me of my husband and I tag him, I have been accused of bragging...I’m not at all. I don’t even have to say anything, just a post and these ladies will have their fathers ruffled. But if a friend who has a rocky marriage andher husband does something nice for her, that’s totally okay for her to brag. It’s such a double standard. I do make a point to always encourage all of my friends in their marriages.

 

[St_Worm2]

Sin has always been at the root of all the bad marriages I've known. Likewise, walking in obedience to God (or at least walking in accordance to the "principles" that God has laid out for husbands and wives in the Bible .. if a couple is not Christian), is always at the root of happy marriages.

That said, God is always at work in the lives of those who are/will be His .. e.g. Philippians 1:6, 2:13, and I believe He can and does bring good out of Christian marriages, even those that are bad marriages (and even when the "good" is not obvious to us .. Romans 8:28).

Yours and His,
David

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Not sure about that David... Always and never are pretty big words.

 

[St_Worm2]

Not sure about that David... Always and never are pretty big words.

Hi TW, I meant marriages that "I've known" (know about personally/heard about/read about/etc.), as I said in my first sentence. I should have been clearer. Sorry about that.

While I'm at it, I guess I'm far more focused on "Christian" marriages when I say "always" and "never", though again, from my personal experience anyway, the very same thing has ended up being true of all of the non-Christian marriages I've known, read and/or heard about.

 

[mama2one]

think sometimes I feel more weird about being happy about being parents
we were Dinks for a while and then we adopted and because it took so long to adopt (more than 4 yrs) we feel so very fortunate and pretty much do everything child related
we had our life as a couple and now everything we do is kid related (like husband and I have had two lives) we did all the travelling, etc , lived carefree before but now being a family is way better
no one else we know has lived their lives backwards as we have, everyone had kids right away

 

[tulc]

But do you ever been made to feel weird or awkward to mention it or have somebody else notice it?

Nope, not really.
tulc(hopes people does notice he loves his wife madly)

 

[Christian_Follower]

I’m going to ask a question that sounds kind of conceited and smug on the assumption that, having been a member here for close to 20 years, you know that’s not the time I’m trying to strike... I’m genuinely asking a question I’m honestly curious about.

For those who see this as an insult or a slap because they don’t have this particular “problem,” again, that’s truly and genuinely not my intent at all.

So my question is for those of you who would define yourself as happily married with relatively no issues to speak of in your marriage beyond the typical small things that come and go, do you find it... I don’t know... Awkward? Maybe awkward isn’t the right word... Weird maybe?

I’ve just had a few situations in the last week or two where being happily married made me feel kind of like a weirdo. Wondering if I’m alone on this one...

Your not weird... Its hard to put it into words, so i get you... 100%

 

[favoritetoyisjoy]

We're happily married since 1972. It's awkward.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I am more happily married than people might gather from some of my posts here. Reason for that is, people don't ask for advice about dealing with the good things, so the good things aren't brought up as often.

I don't know about being the *only* happily married couple among a sea of bickering couples who are at each other's throats, but I have been around other couples who aren't as happy together as we are. Does it make me feel weird? No, not really, because I've been on the other side of it too.

If people get the idea you're being smug, or a goody-two-shoes, or whatever, it might be because a happy marriage busts up the game. Everybody is sitting around playing "can you top this" about how crazy their spouses drive them. Then along comes somebody who's happy as a lark... It's not unlike one student in the class getting a 100 on a test when everybody else failed. Now the teacher isn't going to grade it on a curve, the F's are going to stay F's, and the poor performers resent that straight-A student for it.

 

[Odetta]

The only time I felt awkward at having a happy marriage was during the time a dear friend's marriage was falling apart. It resulted in divorce, but she in now in a new, better relationship with someone we know and respect. And now it's awkward again, because it's like getting to know new people - even though we already knew these two people individually, we're just now getting to know them as a couple.

 

[mama2one]

But when you’ve exited that into “old married couple” territory at 5, 7, 10+ years, it’s almost like being happy still is you being fake, weird, putting on a show, etc.

thought about your post some more and this makes me wonder where you live in U.S. and who you hang out with that people would make you feel weird

maybe husband and I are fortunate but no one (parents or siblings)
are divorced on either side of family and in our neighborhood there's a huge amt of families and married couples and we feel free to walk hand-in-hand through our neighborhood as our child walks with us or rides bike
and we go to so many family oriented places like zoo, parks, museums, kid events, etc
can't imagine anywhere we go that someone would make us "feel weird"

sorry you're around people who think you're "acting"

 

[Tom Sawyer]

I’m going to ask a question that sounds kind of conceited and smug on the assumption that, having been a member here for close to 20 years, you know that’s not the time I’m trying to strike... I’m genuinely asking a question I’m honestly curious about.

For those who see this as an insult or a slap because they don’t have this particular “problem,” again, that’s truly and genuinely not my intent at all.

So my question is for those of you who would define yourself as happily married with relatively no issues to speak of in your marriage beyond the typical small things that come and go, do you find it... I don’t know... Awkward? Maybe awkward isn’t the right word... Weird maybe?

I’ve just had a few situations in the last week or two where being happily married made me feel kind of like a weirdo. Wondering if I’m alone on this one...

I am happily married to my covenant wife, and no I don't feel weird about it. I believe there would be many more happily married -- or at least contentedly married -- couples if we simply followed God's will for our marriages, and for our lives in Christ. There is blessing and peace and happiness in His way. It also brings happiness to know that our union is for life and that we are prepared to forgive a sinner and know we will be forgiven when we need it. If people knew how good marriage is, everyone would want to do it.