TJ is an 18-year old black college student who is having a crisis. He is big and tall and slightly chubby. He sometimes has low self-esteem and is vulnerable. Other times he is super cool, macho and full of confidence. He is really two people. He has an alter ego called Hank. Hank is everything TJ wants to be, the kind of guy who is full of confidence and intelligence and honesty. A man among men. TJ wants to be a real man. He is a brilliant student but his issues about body image and sexuality cause his social and academic life to suffer. He doesn't want to let himself or his parents down so he decides to tackle the load. Of course, the situation proves stressful and out comes Hank, his wisecracking alter ego.
Han : You are a monster
TJ : No I am not
Hank : Yes you are
You are something no one can love
TJ : No I'm not
Hank : What would they say ?
TJ : About what ?
Hank : You know what
TJ : What ?
Hank : You know.
TJ : I like all kinds of things. It's considered normal to be a bit curious.
Hank : Yeah, right.
TJ : You know I love girls.
Hank : So you say. At your age, still no g/f
TJ : No one likes me.
Hank : You push away those who do.
TJ : **** you
Hank : HA ha ha !
TJ : Shut up !
Hank : I'm gonna tell.
TJ : I already know what I am.
Hank : Tell me, dear boy.
TJ : I am a normal man.
Hank : Yeah, right.
TJ : I like anal, strap ons, animals, bdsm, bbw, shemales, lesbians, interracial.
Hank : Jerk off.
TJ : **** You, man !
Hank : Big sissy.
TJ : Excuse me ?
Hank : You heard me.
TJ : **** you.
Hank : You ain't never gonna get a girl.
TJ : That remains to be seen.
Hank : ****** !
TJ : If I am, so are you.
Hank : Speak for yourself, moron.
TJ : I am a straight man.
Hank : As straight as a question mark.
TJ : I like girls.
Hank : Yet you don't get any.
TJ : I'm still young.
Hank : Whatever.
TJ : I happen to get a girl's number last week.
Hank : she was 29.....and nuts.
TJ : screw you.
Hank : No thanks.
TJ : Oh, whatever.
Hank : I hate it when you say that.
TJ : If I go down, you go down.
Hank : On the contrary, I'll take over.
TJ : What is going on ?
Hank : This is pathetic.
TJ : what is ?
Hank : You let people walk all over you.
TJ : Like who ?
Hank : That skinny little female who called you fat the other day.
TJ : I ignored her.
Hank : You should have put her in her place.
TJ : You're right.
Hank : I am ? Uh ? Of course I am !
TJ : I am going to stand up for myself from now on.
Hank : Good boy.
TJ : I would like to get laid this year. I dont care if I am a do-gooder christian or whatever,
I have needs too. The Internet is not enough. I am bored with porn. I want something real.
Someone real.
Hank : I'm with ya, buddy. Go on.
TJ : I know why my grades suffered.
Hank : You focused too much on the past, on females who are clearly beneath you. You deserve better.
Anyone can see it. You can't.
TJ : You're right.
Hank : I almost always am.
TJ : Of course. now, what do i do ?
Hank : I say you get some money from the parents. You are their son after all. Get some gear.
Lose some weight. Get a chick. Maybe get a car.
TJ : OK.
Hank : Pretty decent goals, huh ?
TJ : Yeah, considering the average American loser has a car and a girlfriend.
Hank : You are not average, never forget that.
TJ : Of course.
Hank : I say you stop being so overly analytical of things and people and start living.
TJ : Good plan.
Hank : I second that.
TJ : I am going to make something of myself this year. I am going to study better. Lose weight.
Get a car. Get a girl. Start living.
Hank : That's the spirit.
TJ : Any idea how to do that ?
Hank : We start a little at a time, I believe your best friend Karl can help you with that.
TJ : Ok. The lad has some good ideas.
Hank : I know. Keep an eye on that Loren, tomboy-with-a-boyfriend or not, she is a fox.
TJ : Back off, she's mine.
Hank : No, she's not.
TJ : I'll get somebody, alright ?
Hank : Good. You'll let me know how it goes ?
TJ : Always.
Hank : Cut down on the food, man. Seriously.
TJ : Yeah.
Hank : Stick up for yourself. Lose the superpolite thing. Nice guys dont get anywhere.
TJ : I know. I've been one for most of my existence.
Hank : Sad *******. I was there, you know.
TJ : why you never showed up ?
Hank : You never called me, sweet cheeks.
TJ : Now I call you. I need your help. Make me a man !
Hank, smiling : Normally, turning boys into men is a woman's job but in your case I'll make an exception.
TJ : I love you.
Hank : Man, whatever, I ain't into that stuff.
TJ : Me neither.
Hank : Of course not. You're just one of those VERY straight guys who has bi fantasies and
thinks transexuals are attractive. (laughs).
TJ : Shut up.
Hank : whatever. Let's go, man. I'm missing The Andersons.
TJ : I wonder if Stargate SG 1 is on, Samantha Carter is hot !
Hank : Have a tomboy fetish I dont know about ?
TJ : Nah, Let's go.
Hank : Cool.
To be continued.
Han : You are a monster
TJ : No I am not
Hank : Yes you are
You are something no one can love
TJ : No I'm not
Hank : What would they say ?
TJ : About what ?
Hank : You know what
TJ : What ?
Hank : You know.
TJ : I like all kinds of things. It's considered normal to be a bit curious.
Hank : Yeah, right.
TJ : You know I love girls.
Hank : So you say. At your age, still no g/f
TJ : No one likes me.
Hank : You push away those who do.
TJ : **** you
Hank : HA ha ha !
TJ : Shut up !
Hank : I'm gonna tell.
TJ : I already know what I am.
Hank : Tell me, dear boy.
TJ : I am a normal man.
Hank : Yeah, right.
TJ : I like anal, strap ons, animals, bdsm, bbw, shemales, lesbians, interracial.
Hank : Jerk off.
TJ : **** You, man !
Hank : Big sissy.
TJ : Excuse me ?
Hank : You heard me.
TJ : **** you.
Hank : You ain't never gonna get a girl.
TJ : That remains to be seen.
Hank : ****** !
TJ : If I am, so are you.
Hank : Speak for yourself, moron.
TJ : I am a straight man.
Hank : As straight as a question mark.
TJ : I like girls.
Hank : Yet you don't get any.
TJ : I'm still young.
Hank : Whatever.
TJ : I happen to get a girl's number last week.
Hank : she was 29.....and nuts.
TJ : screw you.
Hank : No thanks.
TJ : Oh, whatever.
Hank : I hate it when you say that.
TJ : If I go down, you go down.
Hank : On the contrary, I'll take over.
TJ : What is going on ?
Hank : This is pathetic.
TJ : what is ?
Hank : You let people walk all over you.
TJ : Like who ?
Hank : That skinny little female who called you fat the other day.
TJ : I ignored her.
Hank : You should have put her in her place.
TJ : You're right.
Hank : I am ? Uh ? Of course I am !
TJ : I am going to stand up for myself from now on.
Hank : Good boy.
TJ : I would like to get laid this year. I dont care if I am a do-gooder christian or whatever,
I have needs too. The Internet is not enough. I am bored with porn. I want something real.
Someone real.
Hank : I'm with ya, buddy. Go on.
TJ : I know why my grades suffered.
Hank : You focused too much on the past, on females who are clearly beneath you. You deserve better.
Anyone can see it. You can't.
TJ : You're right.
Hank : I almost always am.
TJ : Of course. now, what do i do ?
Hank : I say you get some money from the parents. You are their son after all. Get some gear.
Lose some weight. Get a chick. Maybe get a car.
TJ : OK.
Hank : Pretty decent goals, huh ?
TJ : Yeah, considering the average American loser has a car and a girlfriend.
Hank : You are not average, never forget that.
TJ : Of course.
Hank : I say you stop being so overly analytical of things and people and start living.
TJ : Good plan.
Hank : I second that.
TJ : I am going to make something of myself this year. I am going to study better. Lose weight.
Get a car. Get a girl. Start living.
Hank : That's the spirit.
TJ : Any idea how to do that ?
Hank : We start a little at a time, I believe your best friend Karl can help you with that.
TJ : Ok. The lad has some good ideas.
Hank : I know. Keep an eye on that Loren, tomboy-with-a-boyfriend or not, she is a fox.
TJ : Back off, she's mine.
Hank : No, she's not.
TJ : I'll get somebody, alright ?
Hank : Good. You'll let me know how it goes ?
TJ : Always.
Hank : Cut down on the food, man. Seriously.
TJ : Yeah.
Hank : Stick up for yourself. Lose the superpolite thing. Nice guys dont get anywhere.
TJ : I know. I've been one for most of my existence.
Hank : Sad *******. I was there, you know.
TJ : why you never showed up ?
Hank : You never called me, sweet cheeks.
TJ : Now I call you. I need your help. Make me a man !
Hank, smiling : Normally, turning boys into men is a woman's job but in your case I'll make an exception.
TJ : I love you.
Hank : Man, whatever, I ain't into that stuff.
TJ : Me neither.
Hank : Of course not. You're just one of those VERY straight guys who has bi fantasies and
thinks transexuals are attractive. (laughs).
TJ : Shut up.
Hank : whatever. Let's go, man. I'm missing The Andersons.
TJ : I wonder if Stargate SG 1 is on, Samantha Carter is hot !
Hank : Have a tomboy fetish I dont know about ?
TJ : Nah, Let's go.
Hank : Cool.
To be continued.
