Half of my life, I've been struggling..help?

[YoungJoonKim]

Sorry that I didn't announce what I'm struggling with.
Well, I have to confront this myself so..ahem..here I go.

Lately, I've been struggling with sexual immorality and self grafication (aka masturbation).
Well, it started from one porno magazine in the play ground.
MAN! I was SO unfortunate

What are the odds..ouch

Time to time, I went across things like, "Sexual immorality brings you to hell!" but I never believed.

it all started about 1 and a half years ago.
It was about a half year since I accepted Christ in my life (supposely..)

I realized, sexual immorality and self-grafication is truly, a sin.
and soon, I felt PAIN first time in my life because of sexual immorality.
The PAIN saying, "DOn'T BELIEVE IN GOD OR ELSE THIS PAIN WILL CONTINUE"
I'm serious too..
or was it pain saying, "God..is crying"

But I never snapped out of it, even with unbearable pains I receive because of er..sexual immorality and self-grafication.

I fear that it would consume and take my life over, like many.
I fear that I would become one of those molesters..(AHHHHHH)
I fear that I would become criminal..
so I come here and ask for..a partner..
suggested by my mentor..
to help me out with my struggle.
PLEASE!
I'm taking this course called
Setting Captives Free
(Way to Purity!)

I'm serious about this struggle.
I just came to realize, I've been consumed by it over half of my LIFE.
And soon, it will be OVER half of my life.
And I also realized..it was not my doing but my flesh..
(sob)

Please! Somebody pray for me!
Oh..wait
I need a partner..somebody who can be accountable to what I do since I can't contact anyone from my house.
HELP!
Prayer would also be thankful!


Thank you__

 

[Anti Existance]

Honestly its best to just accept your nature. There's no ON-OFF button , and if you would truelly asked yourself what your dedication is it would be towards Christ, a lot of guys get emotionally ruined because they don't know how to deal with their own sexuality. Its better to accept and enjoy this gift from God then self torturing yourself mentally. You don't hurt anyone if you touch, even tho its a selfish act. But i found a by-pass, if you think about doing it with a person that you love, then it doesn't become a sin anymore since its not out of self gratification anymore but out of the desire to give love to that other person. Love makes it ok and natural, lust makes it a sin and an act of selfishnes.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

well. I'm no fan of pornography.
If you hadn't found it on a playground you would find it on the internet for sure, or better, it would find you.

If anything. get away from that if you haven't yet. I don't think it is a healthy way to present sex.

As far as masturbation, it happens.

 

[Shane Roach]

Contact me if you have no yet found an accountability partner. Also, frankly, yes.. masturbation is not a sin. In fact, you would have a hard time finding it in the Bible that it is a sin to have sex with single women. We all know that the first best thing for us is sex within a marriage, so don't take my statement as some sort of brush off about sex or porn or whatnot, but the Devil can do as much damage with unwarranted guilt as he can with actual repercussions from sin.

Again, PM me if you need someone to talk to! I will try to be there for you.

 

[tobefree]

Honestly its best to just accept your nature. There's no ON-OFF button , and if you would truelly asked yourself what your dedication is it would be towards Christ, a lot of guys get emotionally ruined because they don't know how to deal with their own sexuality. Its better to accept and enjoy this gift from God then self torturing yourself mentally. You don't hurt anyone if you touch, even tho its a selfish act. But i found a by-pass, if you think about doing it with a person that you love, then it doesn't become a sin anymore since its not out of self gratification anymore but out of the desire to give love to that other person. Love makes it ok and natural, lust makes it a sin and an act of selfishnes.

YoungJoonKim---------------
PLease we must be careful not to give advise that will kill folks. We must not accept our nature! Christ came to set us free from the sinful nature and to just accept it is not necessarily accurate advise. I do agree that we should not allow sin to seprate us form Christ but to push us toward him. The devil is good at accusing and condeming us in our weaknesses. the devils goals is to push you away in shame and guilt, the Holy Spirit's conviction is to draw you to the Father.
Now for one to say that it is not sin if we mediate upon someone we love when masterbating is unsound counsel sorry to say.
It is sin but God forgives and we need to just keep going to him.
Youngjoonkim, be careful the advise you listen to and just draw near to God no matter how many times you fall.
I am a former homosexual and was acting out when I was 9 years old until 28. I strated with pornography and then became completely emersed in the homosexual life through my 20's. It caused me much grief and heartache even in the midst of sexual satisfactions. I was listening to those who told just accept it and there is nothing wrong. Be watchful who you listen to. It was not so.
True touching yourself is wrong but it is a struggle for many men including myself even to this day. I am married now but still fall into selfgratifying at times.
Usually times when I am bored, discouraged with life, and not praying and sometimes just impulsively when my guard is down, but I keep asking forgiveness. The worse thing to do is wallow in defeat and condemnation.
touching yourself can be a comfort zone and a place I get away for a minute from my cares- not to justify it but it happens and we need to press on in CHrist and he will strengthen us. Lean on him in times of discouragement and frustration.
What ever the place we run for comfort out of Christ is sin, and not necessarily a worse sin.
Arise and keep the faith --you will see how this experience is strengthening you for the future.

 

[madison1101]

Study the life of King David. He committed adultery with Bathsheba, and then had her husband killed when she became pregnant with his child. Psalm 51 was written by him when he repented. And God called David a man after His own heart.

Read John 5, and see how Jesus dealt with women and sexual sin. Read about the woman at the well.

Sweety, God loves you and forgives you. He desires our holiness and purity, but forgives our sinfulness all the same.

I understand what you are going through, because I have struggled since I was in elementary school too.

 

[Johnnz]

Make sure you sort out what is normal sexuality and what is actaully wrong. The great majority of teenage guys discover matsurbation in their early teens, due to their sex drive coming on line. So, you are not a dreadful person because to are sexual and have discoved sexual release.

Beware of those who try and out spiritual 'heavies' onto you. Their advice will seldom be really helpful.

Koreans can be pretty ill at ease with sexual matters. I suspect there is a strong cultural factor in how you feel.

Pornography is wrong. But there is a natural curioisty about sex and female bodies that is esentially based in God's creation of us. Sexual drive and attraction is a basic factor in the mating game. That's how God wired us up.

John
NZ

 

[Johnnz]

Make sure you sort out what is normal sexuality and what is actually wrong. The great majority of teenage guys discover masturbation in their early teens, due to their sex drive coming on line. So, you are not a dreadful person because to are sexual and have discovered sexual release.

Beware of those who try and out spiritual 'heavies' onto you. Their advice will seldom be really helpful.

Koreans can be pretty ill at ease with sexual matters. I suspect there is a strong cultural factor in how you feel.

Pornography is wrong. But there is a natural curiosity about sex and female bodies that is essentially based in God's creation of us. Sexual drive and attraction is a basic factor in the mating game. That's how God wired us up.

John
NZ

 

[tobefree]

Contact me if you have no yet found an accountability partner. Also, frankly, yes.. masturbation is not a sin. In fact, you would have a hard time finding it in the Bible that it is a sin to have sex with single women. We all know that the first best thing for us is sex within a marriage, so don't take my statement as some sort of brush off about sex or porn or whatnot, but the Devil can do as much damage with unwarranted guilt as he can with actual repercussions from sin.

Again, PM me if you need someone to talk to! I will try to be there for you.

SHANE YOUR COUNSEL THOUGH WELL INTENTIONED IS NOT THE TRUTH. touching yourself AND FORNICATION IS SIN, IE SEX WITH A SINGLE WOMAN, SO DONT WATER DOWN THE TRUTH IN ORDER TO QUIET THE CONSCIENCE, ONLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CAN CLEANSE AND FORGIVE. WHEN WE TELL FOLKS THEY ARE NOT SINNING WHEN IT IS CLEARLY SIN WE ARE NOT HELPING BUT HURTING. Now I have had struggle with touching yourself too, but saying it is write is not so.

 

[FallingWaters]

so I come here and ask for..a partner..
suggested by my mentor.. to help me out with my struggle. PLEASE!
I'm taking this course called Setting Captives Free (Way to Purity!)

I'm serious about this struggle. I just came to realize, I've been consumed by it over half of my LIFE. And soon, it will be OVER half of my life. And I also realized..it was not my doing but my flesh..
(sob) Please! Somebody pray for me!
Oh..wait I need a partner..somebody who can be accountable to what I do since I can't contact anyone from my house.
HELP!
Prayer would also be thankful!


Thank you__

I am sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Only God can wash your mind clean of the pictures you have seen. They are so hard to forget, but God will help you.

I have heard good things about Setting Captives Free. I hope and pray you have good success with it.

Whenever we have been overtaken by any sin, the way we gain power over it is to confess to God it is a sin, and to repent of it (to turn around and go in the other direction). Once we do that, God gives us the power to say "No" to it. Just like any other self-gratifying habit such as alcohol or tobacco or drugs, they're very hard to give up, and we can only do so by the grace and power of God.

Imagine your sin, nailed to the Cross of Jesus.

Meditate on Romans chapter 6.

Father in Heaven, I pray for this young man that you would rescue him from the pit of destruction. Thank You Father, for convicting him of his sin, and bringing him back to the way of righteousness. I prayfor YoungJoonKim that You would provide an accountability partner for him, someone he can respect, someone who will be faithful. I pray a hedge of thorns around him that his lovers would not be able to find him. I pray You send strong angels to guard him from the enemy, and to keep his foot from slipping. I pray that when he confesses his sin and asks for forgiveness, that You would wash him clean, and that he would feel clean before You, that he would stand before You enveloped in a fresh revelation of Your unconditional love for him. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

1 John 1:9

 

[Shane Roach]

All I know is you will not find masturbation listed anywhere in the Bible as a sin.

There is a verse in Genesis where it speaks of wearing an undergarment so that priests not be uncovered as they step up to the altar. In that sense, sexuality is wrong through and through, and indeed our bodies are fallen. However, it is wrong to characterize something that is not mentioned by God as something to worry about as a sin. Certainly masturbation and pornography are things to be careful about, but I have to disagree with something being characterized as sin that simply is never once mentioned as such. We can saddle ourselves with more weight than we can bear, and with weights that God Himself never intended.

Eccl 7:16-17
16 Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?
17 Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time?
KJV

There is a limit to the purity one can reasonably expect from someone who has yet to recieve the glorified body we will be given at the end.

Again, please no one try to characterize me as saying that all masturbation or pornography is acceptable. But if all of us, you included tobefree, still do it...?

Well...

Try to strike a balance YoungJunKim. Don't just give into this willy nilly, but at the same time try to keep your fantasies related to decent things -- a woman you will marry or something, and veer away from the porn as much as you possibly can. Some men it helps them to resist porn when they know the harm it does to certain women who are victimized by the industry. Perhaps appeal to that part of your nature to try to be a respectful and noble man in your dealings with women in every way that you can.

I will pray for you now. There are bound to be some disagreements over this subject especially in this part of the forum, but overall your instincts are correct. Fight this, but at the same time do not let yourself be overwhelmed by it if you are not able to contain.

1 Cor 7:7-9
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry : for it is better to marry than to burn .
KJV

The phrase, "if they cannot contain," is a rather rare one Biblically. Normally when speaking of tempation you would go by the statement that no temptation you are going through is anything that's not common to man, and God will give you a way out of it. "Cannot contain" I think speaks to the rather continuous and nagging nature of sexual desires and excitements. They are not like hunger in the sense that you will not die from lack of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], but they are like it in the sense that we really have almost no way to deal with them permanently as you may find yourself freed of certain other temptations. The desire is simply there and a part of us, and so we try to focus it towards legitimate outlets.

Hope that helps and hope that if others disagree they can provide the scripture to back up the position that masturbation is in itself a sin. I have been through the Bible and studied this specific subject at some length and I simply do not see it. Again, I do no encourage anyone to treat sexual matters of any kind lightly.

 

[Shane Roach]

In fact, having multiple wives was not mentioned in the New Testament as a reason to be put out of the church, whereas today you would be put into jail for it in America.

There are a lot of things in this world that are not the perfect will of God that He nevertheless, in His mercy, does not burden us with struggling against. Goodness, rape was accepted in the Old Testament as long as you married the woman after you "humbled" her.

Context... God is well aware that we are only human. He makes allowances for our failings. You will do well not to have sex outside of marriage. If you can manage that you will be well ahead of the vast majority of Christians these days.

And while I'm at it, I think you will do well to allow yourself the opportunity to meet young women and marry earlier in life if it is at all possible, unless you find yourself suddenly freed of this problem. I spent a lot of time and energy avoiding marriage and women when I was young so as not to have kids and mess them up. In retrospect, that feels to me as if I lacked faith. Instead, I should have responsibly dated, and perhaps would not be in the situation I am in now, which is to say, alone and fairly bitter at times about it.

 

[Akathist]

Mod Hat On

There are posts in this thread that debate whether something is or is not a sin.

Recovery is NOT a debate forum.

This is a place for people to come and get support to stop doing things they do not want to do, to get help with a trial or temptation or support in general.

Keep this part of CF rules in mind here:

3.5 Controversial Topics to Be Discussed Only in Certain Forums

A. You will make posts regarding the following subjects only in Ethics & Morality, Liberal Theology, Christian Philosophy, or any subforums in the Congregation or Recovery* categories:

drug use
gambling
polygamy
extramarital or premarital sexual activity
homosexuality
transsexuality
abortion

*You will not make posts promoting or endorsing any of these subjects in Recovery forums.

 

[Shane Roach]

My mistake. I'm fairly fresh with this particular forum.

Sorry.