hair pulling

[super mom]

ow.... my son is 10 months this sunday and he has a habit of pulling hair. he does it to get my attention and to pull my head closer to him an at times he does it because he gets a rise out of me i have a really tender head and when he pulls i don't get angry i just get to the point that i want to cry. he also pulls on parts of my face. the weird thing is he doesn't do this to his daddy i have no idea why he started to do this to me. i need some help please .....how can i get him to stop. it hurts

 

[Katydid]

OK, now, first off, I know it is hard, but do not react AT ALL!

Second, when he does this, grab his hands in yours and look him in the eyes and say "NO!" not "no no sweetie" but "NO!"

Third, immediately take him off your lap and WALK AWAY from him.


He needs to stop associating the pulling with getting mama's attention/reaction. To associating it with LOSING mama's attention/reaction.

 

[super mom]

i put him in his room when he pulls the other day i waslaying on the floor and he came over and attcked me and my husban was sitting on the couch laughing. i told my husband not to laugh. the baby was doing this long before hbby started laughing. i tell the baby NO and it doesn't work this has been going on for a few moths now.

 

[rocklife]

I am completely supportive of loving and hugging children, but also, spanking does need to be done. Kids and babies get the idea that is a "no, no" when they get the immediate consequence of pain. Do a quick swat and say no. Then forgive them and love them and move on. If they keep it up, keep spanking quickly, privately, lovingly. Pray about disciplining in love and wisdom.

 

[super mom]

this is kinda hard for me to do i was spanked as a kid and i don't want to do that o my 10 month old son he is wqay too young to understand the idea of spanking i think

 

[rocklife]

I will add that time outs and grounding is good too, but punishments need to match the crime. Babies and toddlers learn very quick from spankings, you need God's wisdom about what is good and right. I have even grounded my 4 year old, from neighbors and parks, for sometimes up to 2 weeks, but this is when the kids are all fighting with each other, and they all need the break. So there is definitely use for time outs too.

I was also one who was appalled when I first saw little toddlers swatted, but after listening to sermons about discipline from church, and prayer, this is a discipline that will bring your children to respect your right authority. (if you are in God's will about things, need prayer about that)

I'm praying for you. there needs to be some negative consequence for negative behavior, he can't get good things when he acts bad, then he'll just be happy and make you even more miserable.

 

[super mom]

i don't believe in spanking i am sorry it helped to ruin my life and i will not do that to my 10MONTH OLD son.

 

[super mom]

does god spank you for every wrong you do? um no so ther fore i will not hit my son in any way shape or form

 

[Katydid]

OK without turning this into a spank, no spank discussion....

This mother doesn't want to spank, so she is looking for alternatives. With that said, let's not turn a mother's cry for help (which we all do occasionally) into an attack on beliefs. I don't feel that that particular approach would be helpful. I know I am not a moderator, I just feel that if I don't say something, this may turn into a debate and people may get their feelings hurt for no reason.

 

[super mom]

thank you katydid some encouragment is nice at times and i want to apologize for any thing that i said that may have hurt some ones feelings in the cb

 

[Linnis]

On a side note, when I was watching my cousin, she was almost 2. She pulled my hair really hard and it hurt and I got caught off guard so I cried and said "Madison, that really hurt!" apprently doing something to make a big person cry scared her because she said "It's okay" and patted me on the back and never did it again....that was more dumb luck than a method.

Maybe he doesn't understand it hurts.

 

[super mom]

at 2 they understand but at 10 months i don't think he does

 

[Princessperky]

When DS did that for a time (around the same age) I would say 'no pulling hair, that hurts' then walk out. (my house is safe and babyproofed, I was within hearing)

When DD (she is a bit older) occasionally does it to DH he says 'no hair pulling, that hurts' then turns away from her and plays with DS instead.

I have no idea why DS didn't pull DHs hair and DD doesn't pull mine! but DS is cured completly and DD almost never does, usually it is an accident that she then decides to repeat.

Oh and yell at DH for laughing! Laughing is a reaction children love to get out of parents. It should never occur for misbehavior! (so learn to bite your cheek, the behavior gets funnier!)

 

[appleofhiseye]

When DS did that for a time (around the same age) I would say 'no pulling hair, that hurts' then walk out. (my house is safe and babyproofed, I was within hearing)

When DD (she is a bit older) occasionally does it to DH he says 'no hair pulling, that hurts' then turns away from her and plays with DS instead.

I have no idea why DS didn't pull DHs hair and DD doesn't pull mine! but DS is cured completly and DD almost never does, usually it is an accident that she then decides to repeat.

Oh and yell at DH for laughing! Laughing is a reaction children love to get out of parents. It should never occur for misbehavior! (so learn to bite your cheek, the behavior gets funnier!)

okay yes, this is good advice.
When baby does bad/negative thing, he quickly loses all attention and games or fun. He'll soon see that when he pulls hair ALL fun and attention stops.
Be consistant everytime he pulls hair, everytime he stops getting any attention.