Had to have the "gay" talk -- Catholics only, please.

[bostonlass]

It was inevitable but I really thought that I had a few more years before having to deal with this so I was totally unprepared.

I was talking with my 9 year old about her teacher that she doesn't like too much and out of the blue she said, "everyone says he's married to another boy you know...". Well...I've seen her teacher and he does look like he plays for the "other team", but I try not to jump to conclusions since my ex husband was the same way and obviously two kids and an affair later, he's still hetero.

Anyhoo I said, "oh do you know what that is called?" And she said, "yeah, mom, he's gay".



Mind you she still doesn't know how to make a baby other than what I told her which was that when mommies and daddies love each other they give each other a "special" hug.

I said, "what does being gay mean?" and she said, "he likes boys instead of girls and I think two boys kiss too". Then she said, "when girls are gay they're called lesbians".



I explained to her that yes this is the term and that sometimes people are born that way and it's not their fault. (that is what I believe).

anyway don't know if this thread is legal or not since I'm a bit fuzzy on when it's kosher and when it's not to bring it up in here but two Sundays ago at the children's mass our priest talked a long time about a new petition in Massachusetts going around and how Archbishop O'Mally wants us all to sign it to reverse the gay marriage law. I was a bit shocked that he did this at the children's mass 'cause I wanted to explain this in my own way in my own time but I guess apparently that time has come.

Are there any Catholic books out there that guide parents in broaching this subject or explaining it when it's already been broached? (much to the parent's chagrin!!! )

 

[geocajun]

more reason to homeschool...

 

[bostonlass]

more reason to homeschool...

Well unless I homechurched as well the subject would still have been brought up since it was brought up at our parish.

 

[BillH]

Kids are forced to deal with these things far too early nowadays. Though, FWIW, I had some idea what it meant when I was 9 years old, way back in the mid-80s. Although, I wouldn't have actually been aware of anyone who fit that category.

 

[bostonlass]

Kids are forced to deal with these things far too early nowadays. Though, FWIW, I had some idea what it meant when I was 9 years old, way back in the mid-80s. Although, I wouldn't have actually been aware of anyone who fit that category.

I used to be a ballet dancer and was very close to my instructer since I attended classes every day for about three hours per day. I knew him from the time I was 8 years old and although I never saw him date, I never put two and two together until I was well into my teens. I lived a very very sheltered life as far as what I was taught about sex in general.

I agree that they are forced to deal with it too early but I mean if you live in Massachusetts it's just a fact of life that we have to deal with.

I just want to be sure I'm telling her the right stuff according to the Catholic church though , you know ? But again.........it's so touchy because if indeed it comes out that her teacher is gay, I wouldn't want her to say something offessive lest he punish her by giving her a poor grade. I guess that part is where the homeschooling would come in handy but then again it's not an option to this single fulltime workin' mom.

 

[plainswolf]

more reason to homeschool...

I agree..

 

[Ave Maria]

Kids are forced to deal with these things far too early nowadays. Though, FWIW, I had some idea what it meant when I was 9 years old, way back in the mid-80s. Although, I wouldn't have actually been aware of anyone who fit that category.

I agree. Society has become much more open about things like this and somehow or another, it just gets around to the kids rather quickly. Kids pick up on things very easily though. Or at least I know that I did as a kid. However, at the age of 9, I don't think I knew a thing about homosexuality. I honestly don't remember that well. But anyway, this is really a sticky subject to tackle so I will pray for you Caroline.

 

[princess_ballet]

more reason to homeschool...

I disagree, sure 9 years old is probably to young to find out about these types of thing, but it is better for her to find out then live a lie until she's 18. These things happen and we need to prepare our kids, no matter what age it finally comes up.

I had a "culture" shock when I came to college and I went to public high school (quite a blessing I might add). Can you imagine what a sheltered home schooler must go through?


But not to derail the thread, I will pray for you and pray that you find a way to explain it to her properly.

 

[geocajun]

pb, it isn't "living a lie" to not put ones child into immoral environments. . .

You don't see if a boat will float until after its built.

 

[Cat59]

Are there any Catholic books out there that guide parents in broaching this subject or explaining it when it's already been broached? (much to the parent's chagrin!!! )

I actually went looking recently in our local Catholic bookshop and couldn't find anything. Whether our children are homeschooled or not, it would be good to know that there is something out there that can help. I know for "grown ups" The Theology of the Body has been recomended to me to help me understand this whole area, what we need is a simpler version for our children, I guess.
But you could look at some of the writings that are around this to try and help you explain things...

 

[TexasCatholic]

If a teacher is homosexual, it should be only possible to "put the piece together" by perhaps never seeing him/her date over a long period of years, etc. Because, if the kids have SEEN the same-sex partner and KNOW about it, then that teacher has crossed the line of what's private life and what belongs in classroom discussion.

I say this AS A TEACHER... and as someone who is studying to be a school administrator. Although it's different, because I teach high school kids, I think it's highly inappropriate for a homosexual teacher to make aware their preference. Partially for their own sake, because they will be ridiculed at the high school level. At the elementary level, those kids have no need to know about that yet. I didn't understand how sexual intercourse worked until I was 15 years old. Did I need to know before that? (answer: no) Heck, I really didn't even need to know it then, heh. I didn't understand what "gay people" did until years later. Now I know a lot more than I wish I did. If I could only mind-flush somehow..

-Michael

 

[bostonlass]

bumping in case anyone actually has a book or video reference for me.

 

[Cat59]

I found this from the CTS in the UK, it's probably more of a booklet than a book
http://www.cts-online.org.uk/PA1.htm
If you'd like, I can try and get it for you and send it on, if it's any good...

 

[bostonlass]

I found this from the CTS in the UK, it's probably more of a booklet than a book
http://www.cts-online.org.uk/PA1.htm
If you'd like, I can try and get it for you and send it on, if it's any good...

thanks but I think I need something geared more towards a 9 year old. Maybe this is ok but just looking at the title made me break out in a cold sweat just now.

 

[Cat59]

thanks but I think I need something geared more towards a 9 year old. Maybe this is ok but just looking at the title made me break out in a cold sweat just now.

It might do my 13 year old, I'll have to read it myself first though...

 

[AMDG]

Have you checked your parish yet? Perhaps the religious education director knows of some book or video. If asked why you could always say that since Father brought it up, your child has some burning questions that need to be answered with Catholic facts that would be according to her grade level and understanding.

 

[SaintGeorge]

I could label diagrams of both male and female genetalia at age 5. In fact, this is just what I did. I was in an accelerated program, and reached college level biology at age 10. I was also taught all about the structure of gay and lesbian relationships at an early age. For me, it was merely emperical knowledge about the social sciences.

I tend to view modern society as cyanide. If you are exposed to it in small doses at an early age, you become resistant. If sheltered completely and then exposed, you die. Simple enough for me, I will educate my children in the same manner.

 

[WarriorAngel]

Archbishop O'Mally wants us all to sign it to reverse the gay marriage law.

Are you in Massachuttes?

Anyway, gay ppl are not born with a gene for this. I read the studies, and it is not an inborn trait.

Also, I squirm at teaching my kids...
This reminds my of the milstone around our necks for corrupting children.

If only we didnt have to face this stuff.

I understand tho, when they come to you with it, there is nothing you can do...

I tried to touch base on it, but I also am plaqued with apprehension on how and when.

I am almost certain they are getting an education via my oldest going to a public school.... and he shares his info.
He is in 7th...and already someone told him that a certain classmate was gay.

And he says he is nice...so now I am faced with trying to make a distinction of not judging out of charity, but teaching them avoiding the sin itself.

YIKES!!

Makes me want to put a bubble around my kids.

HOMESCHOOL? It is not for me...because they make it so hard around here...and I absolutely stink at history and math.

 

[bostonlass]

Are you in Massachuttes?

Anyway, gay ppl are not born with a gene for this. I read the studies, and it is not an inborn trait.

Also, I squirm at teaching my kids...
This reminds my of the milstone around our necks for corrupting children.

If only we didnt have to face this stuff.

I understand tho, when they come to you with it, there is nothing you can do...

I tried to touch base on it, but I also am plaqued with apprehension on how and when.

I am almost certain they are getting an education via my oldest going to a public school.... and he shares his info.
He is in 7th...and already someone told him that a certain classmate was gay.

And he says he is nice...so now I am faced with trying to make a distinction of not judging out of charity, but teaching them avoiding the sin itself.

YIKES!!

Makes me want to put a bubble around my kids.

HOMESCHOOL? It is not for me...because they make it so hard around here...and I absolutely stink at history and math.

Glad to know I'm not the only one faced with this dilemma. Yes I am in Massachusetts.

 

[bostonlass]

I could label diagrams of both male and female genetalia at age 5. In fact, this is just what I did. I was in an accelerated program, and reached college level biology at age 10. I was also taught all about the structure of gay and lesbian relationships at an early age. For me, it was merely emperical knowledge about the social sciences.

I tend to view modern society as cyanide. If you are exposed to it in small doses at an early age, you become resistant. If sheltered completely and then exposed, you die. Simple enough for me, I will educate my children in the same manner.