habitual sin - porn & masturbation

[megan_26]

I know I have another prayer request on this forum but this is something much larger that I need to deal with.
I only started to be serious about my faith at the end of last year. Since then, it's been a long journey and God has revealed many of my faults to me and I'm walking alongside Him to change myself. But there's one sin that I cannot beat. I have come to Him over and over again, sobbing and on my knees, asking for forgiveness and begging for freedom. I have studied His word and used scripture to help fight back when the temptation comes and sometimes I don't give in. But other times, my sinful nature just wins.
I've been in a battle with pornography and masturbation for almost six years now. For the past five years, this sin has been allowed to run unchecked and unhindered through my life, absolutely controlling me. It started during the darkest part of my teenage years and became a coping mechanism, a way for me to deal with the struggles of the day and a way to get the emotional support (for lack of a better word) that I needed. It has become a habit. Since I have turned to God, I don't engage in this behavior as often as I used to. It used to be an every day thing. Now I can often resist it for three or more days at a time...but I always come crashing back down. I have kept this between God and I for the most part, seeing as all of my friends are non-religious and if I were to reveal this to my parents, it would fracture our relationship so badly.
I want this to end. I desperately do. My spirit cries out against it, but my flesh just keeps taking over and I admit that I let it. God has recently revealed to me that I'm still trying to live my life my way instead of His way sometimes. Since then I've been making a conscious effort to submit to Him but this one sin just continues to come back and I allow it. I feel I have no control. It's devastating because I want it to stop. I need it to stop. Every time it comes back, I fear I haven't truly been saved and I fear I will never be free from it, never pure and holy and clean again. I fear it will rule me for my entire life.
I no longer want this sin to have power over me but I am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. God has been putting it on my heart to admit to this sin for a long, long time. And now I'm finally doing it. I need prayers and encouragement and advice would also be wonderful. Please pray for release from this. Please pray for freedom and please pray for these strongholds to be torn down. This sin runs so deep, but I can overcome it. I just need help.
I've tried to open up to other christians in the past about these sexual sins and I've been condemned by them for it. So please, no discouraging comments. I need help with this. I am trying my hardest to trust that God will free me from this one day. I know the damage that this sin is causing my body and my spirit and I'm so desperate to be free of it. Please, please pray for me. Thank you all.

 

[grandvizier1006]

Porn is a tough habit to break. But it is possible and you CAN live a normal life. Also, just because you are looking at porn doesn't mean you aren't saved. If you truly had no faith then you wouldn't feel guilty about the porn. You feel convicted and you mentioned that you have extensively studied scripture. Porn cannot make you lose your salvation even if it distorts your sexuality.

I'll be praying.

 

[Solomons Porch]

Praying for strength and resistance, leaning on HIM to give you what you need and fill the void

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

There will be different answers due to different denominational viewpoints just as an fyi.
I'll say a prayer for you bud, I'm down the same road as you and I know how much of a hypocrite a believer feels like when falling.
The important thing is that even if you fall ( and unfortunately we do often times) you'll quickly return to Christ's mercy.

Nothing can separate us from the love of christ St Paul said, Remember that.

Praying 4 u.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I know I have another prayer request on this forum but this is something much larger that I need to deal with.
I only started to be serious about my faith at the end of last year. Since then, it's been a long journey and God has revealed many of my faults to me and I'm walking alongside Him to change myself. But there's one sin that I cannot beat. I have come to Him over and over again, sobbing and on my knees, asking for forgiveness and begging for freedom. I have studied His word and used scripture to help fight back when the temptation comes and sometimes I don't give in. But other times, my sinful nature just wins.
I've been in a battle with pornography and masturbation for almost six years now. For the past five years, this sin has been allowed to run unchecked and unhindered through my life, absolutely controlling me. It started during the darkest part of my teenage years and became a coping mechanism, a way for me to deal with the struggles of the day and a way to get the emotional support (for lack of a better word) that I needed. It has become a habit. Since I have turned to God, I don't engage in this behavior as often as I used to. It used to be an every day thing. Now I can often resist it for three or more days at a time...but I always come crashing back down. I have kept this between God and I for the most part, seeing as all of my friends are non-religious and if I were to reveal this to my parents, it would fracture our relationship so badly.
I want this to end. I desperately do. My spirit cries out against it, but my flesh just keeps taking over and I admit that I let it. God has recently revealed to me that I'm still trying to live my life my way instead of His way sometimes. Since then I've been making a conscious effort to submit to Him but this one sin just continues to come back and I allow it. I feel I have no control. It's devastating because I want it to stop. I need it to stop. Every time it comes back, I fear I haven't truly been saved and I fear I will never be free from it, never pure and holy and clean again. I fear it will rule me for my entire life.
I no longer want this sin to have power over me but I am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. God has been putting it on my heart to admit to this sin for a long, long time. And now I'm finally doing it. I need prayers and encouragement and advice would also be wonderful. Please pray for release from this. Please pray for freedom and please pray for these strongholds to be torn down. This sin runs so deep, but I can overcome it. I just need help.
I've tried to open up to other christians in the past about these sexual sins and I've been condemned by them for it. So please, no discouraging comments. I need help with this. I am trying my hardest to trust that God will free me from this one day. I know the damage that this sin is causing my body and my spirit and I'm so desperate to be free of it. Please, please pray for me. Thank you all.

Step by step, brick by brick. Only one step at a time. Fall down, stand up and take another step. If it takes years, keep going.

One thing to do is look for triggers. Identify those and avoid them. Consider what you were thinking just before to trigger a bad action. Figure out how to not get into those thought patterns again. Slowly slowly you can make progress, because God has provided you grace to resist these sins. You cooperate in this, killing off old habits and creating new better ones.

 

[Devin P]

You have realized the issue, and it's weighing on your heart. For this you are blessed. I deal with the same issue. I am free for probably 1-4 months at a time, and then it comes crashing down. I'm getting better at dealing with it, but I'm finding, that I had to delete it all off of my computer, and my phone. (obviously)

I'm finding, that there are little pulls, that mentally I would wrongly justify, and try to play innocent, when I knew that it would give rise to the urge. Each time you feel one of these pulls, resist it. Learn to identify and recognize your pattern. Each person, has a series of patterns when dealing with this. Certain things, or atmospheres or thought patterns cause you to regress into this behavior. You have to identify them, and change those patterns.

Most importantly however. Recognize that you have no power. The only power you have, is in Yeshua (Jesus). We don't even have the ability to increase our faith. Even our faith is the gift of יהוה (God). You have to pray each time you feel weighed down by these things. Every single time you feel the slightest urge, think about what Jesus did when He was tempted by the devil in the desert. He rebuked the urges with scripture, with truth.

The urges we feel, are deception. Realize that it's not you having the urge, it's a principality, a spirit of wickedness preying on you, trying to get you to disobey. Resist it, and they will flee. All you have to do, is read your scriptures, and pray. Pray for the love of Him to fill you so that to disobey in this way sickens you. So that out of love for Him, you desire to obey Him, not out of fear of the punishments. You'll never be able to overcome if all you're thinking of is the punishment, because that's a direct lack of faith in Him. It's faith in yourself, and as long as you have faith in ONLY yourself, the spirits can prey on that, and can uproot the seed that's in you. They can shift and topple your house, because it's based on you, and your ability, not on the sure ability of Him.

If you obey out of love for Him, you will desire to never disobey, because you won't want to grieve His Spirit. Disobedience will sicken you, because you will love Him, more than you love yourself, and more than you fear the punishment. In looking at it from this perspective, you won't be afraid of the punishments, because you aren't living from and for yourself anymore. You're living for Him, out of love for Him, thereby allowing His power to flow through you. His power is in His word.

I know a lot of people do away with Torah, but that is the power. It's in Torah. Jesus taught Torah, and even decades after His ascension, His disciples/apostles all throughout the NT kept Torah. Demons try to get us to disobey it, because the Father has to bless those that keep it, and He has to curse those that disobey. It's His word, He has to.

Whenever you feel weighed down by any urge, stop fighting it. To fight it, is to falsely acknowledge that it has power. It doesn't. When you feel weighed down by an urge, change your thoughts. Don't try to battle the thought, change your mind to other things. As it says in Philippians -

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

You don't have to fight them, because He's already won them. Just step into that victory, by changing your life to avoid that temptation, and when you feel it, change your thoughts.

 

[Little Lantern]

Step by step, brick by brick. Only one step at a time. Fall down, stand up and take another step. If it takes years, keep going.

One thing to do is look for triggers. Identify those and avoid them. Consider what you were thinking just before to trigger a bad action. Figure out how to not get into those thought patterns again. Slowly slowly you can make progress, because God has provided you grace to resist these sins. You cooperate in this, killing off old habits and creating new better ones.

I can't add anything to this wise counsel. Unless God gives you a miracle, overcoming any habitual sin is a process. It's a part of walking out your salvation. It doesn't matter how long it takes. As long as you keep facing in the right direction, you will reach your destination of full freedom.

it's been a long journey and God has revealed many of my faults to me and I'm walking alongside Him to change myself.

And if you keep walking with Him, one day you'll just happen to notice that whatever-sin-you're-dealing-with just isn't there anymore. At least that's how it usually happens with me.

God bless you as you continue to follow Him in love and obedience.

 

[Oldmantook]

Pornography is very difficult to break free of because like all addictions it is not only a sin issue but also a brain issue. The brain/body gets addicted to stimuli whether it be alcohol, drugs, pornography etc. and as you pointed out, the cycle is difficult to get free of. Take a look at the Conquer Series; summary and link:
How to Conquer the Porn Epidemic in the Church

 

[Solomons Porch]

 

[Goatee]

Jesus came to save sinners.

God bless you friend. Keep your faith.

 

[Levi85]

Lord we pray for megan_26, let you give your strength, knowledge and understanding to say no to sins. Lord let this masturbation, pornography leave and you be glorified in megan_26's life. Lord bless megan_26 , in this matter. In Jesus righteous name, Amen!

 

[Dave-W]

I only started to be serious about my faith at the end of last year. Since then, it's been a long journey and God has revealed many of my faults to me and I'm walking alongside Him to change myself. But there's one sin that I cannot beat. I have come to Him over and over again, sobbing and on my knees, asking for forgiveness and begging for freedom.

Hi Megan! And welcome to the forums.

Of course I will pray. But I would suggest to you that there are other things to be concerned with than the specific sins you listed.

Paul says in 2 Cor 2.18 that we are being changed from "glory to glory." IOW it is not immediate. It takes time. God will deal with things and give you grace to change and drop of habitual sins one at a time over a period of time (usually several months or even years) So do not listen to the condemnation of the devil (which is what I hear in your op) about this topic, and listen instead to the voice of GOD. When it is truly HIM saying to change something, the grace and strength are there to do so. Remember the words of the Angel to Mary - the mother of our Lord:

Luke 1:37
For nothing will be impossible with God.”​

I have been told by a Greek scholar that a better translation is "No word of God is devoid of power."

 

[megan_26]

Thank you all for your responses and encouragement. It's very helpful to know that I'm not the only one struggling and that others have overcome the same sins I'm wrestling with. I've been standing strong since I posted this thread. Thank you for your prayers

 

[Greg Merrill]

I know I have another prayer request on this forum but this is something much larger that I need to deal with.
I only started to be serious about my faith at the end of last year. Since then, it's been a long journey and God has revealed many of my faults to me and I'm walking alongside Him to change myself. But there's one sin that I cannot beat. I have come to Him over and over again, sobbing and on my knees, asking for forgiveness and begging for freedom. I have studied His word and used scripture to help fight back when the temptation comes and sometimes I don't give in. But other times, my sinful nature just wins.
I've been in a battle with pornography and masturbation for almost six years now. For the past five years, this sin has been allowed to run unchecked and unhindered through my life, absolutely controlling me. It started during the darkest part of my teenage years and became a coping mechanism, a way for me to deal with the struggles of the day and a way to get the emotional support (for lack of a better word) that I needed. It has become a habit. Since I have turned to God, I don't engage in this behavior as often as I used to. It used to be an every day thing. Now I can often resist it for three or more days at a time...but I always come crashing back down. I have kept this between God and I for the most part, seeing as all of my friends are non-religious and if I were to reveal this to my parents, it would fracture our relationship so badly.
I want this to end. I desperately do. My spirit cries out against it, but my flesh just keeps taking over and I admit that I let it. God has recently revealed to me that I'm still trying to live my life my way instead of His way sometimes. Since then I've been making a conscious effort to submit to Him but this one sin just continues to come back and I allow it. I feel I have no control. It's devastating because I want it to stop. I need it to stop. Every time it comes back, I fear I haven't truly been saved and I fear I will never be free from it, never pure and holy and clean again. I fear it will rule me for my entire life.
I no longer want this sin to have power over me but I am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. God has been putting it on my heart to admit to this sin for a long, long time. And now I'm finally doing it. I need prayers and encouragement and advice would also be wonderful. Please pray for release from this. Please pray for freedom and please pray for these strongholds to be torn down. This sin runs so deep, but I can overcome it. I just need help.
I've tried to open up to other christians in the past about these sexual sins and I've been condemned by them for it. So please, no discouraging comments. I need help with this. I am trying my hardest to trust that God will free me from this one day. I know the damage that this sin is causing my body and my spirit and I'm so desperate to be free of it. Please, please pray for me. Thank you all.

Father, I pray again that this one will learn the practical means in Your power to win this battle. Amen.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Admin Hat

This thread has been moved from a prayer wall to struggles with sexuality. Some posts have been removed for being Unhelpful to the OP (Original post)

Please read the statement of purpose before posting as well as the Recovery Guidelines. Thank you.​

 

[Dave-W]

It's very helpful to know that I'm not the only one struggling

You are far from the only one. I have heard some estimates that 95% of guys in their late teens and 20s touch regularly, and that at least 60% of women in the same age bracket do as well. The number for males has remained fairly flat since the 1950s, but for women it has been growing every decade since then. Probably it will catch up with the men in another generation or 2.

 

[Caliber81]

Hey there.
I am currently struggling with the same issue too. Only thing is it's gay pornography. Been struggling with it since 12 maybe. I was just about to make a post as well for prayer support. But came across yours. The advice was exactly what I needed too. Hang in there, you're not alone in this particular sin. I also feel very grotesque and ashamed right after. Convicted if I can say. Yes rebuking that spirit of lust helps too in Jesus' name. As sin can spread like wildfire, glad I don't dabble with drugs and alcohol. And this seems to be the ONLY sin that I really have a hard time with. But I will pray for you as well. Prayers!
Brother in Christ.

 

[megan_26]

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and for your prayers. Unfortunately, I relapsed today and I feel extremely guilty. I made it almost two weeks, which is the longest I have gone in a very, very long time. So I feel like that's a good sign. But sadly I decided to serve my flesh today and now I go back to square one. Please continue to pray for me, for healing and for release from this.
I will also continue to pray for those of you who have said you're in the same situation. God bless you all

 

[Spherical]

Not an easy thing to break from if it is an addiction. Don't take it too hard on yourself if you go back, and don't expect to make the relapses more distanced every time.
Try to identify the underlying issues behind it: Loneliness? Stress? Boredom? Anger? If these are not dealt with, it will continue to be a cyclical thing.
Keep praying, keep getting up, but please be aware of God's merciful love surrounding you and embracing you, both when you are up and when you fall. That should never go out of your equation.
God bless you!

 

[Dave-W]

. I made it almost two weeks, which is the longest I have gone in a very, very long time. So I feel like that's a good sign. But sadly I decided to serve my flesh today and now I go back to square one.

No you are not. If you are running a marathon, you do not start out running 26 miles, you start with one, then 2, then 4, then 6, etc. So you went 2 weeks this time. Maybe next time you will go 2 1/2 weeks. Then 3. But as Spherical said, you do not need to go farther every time. Even if you go less a couple of times, that is ok too. Just do not give up.

Praise God for all progress. Do not fall for lies of your "failing." I do not see that as a failure at all.

Suggestion: porn and masturbating are 2 separate issues. I understand how linked they end up being. But I suggest that rather than trying to defeat a dual track monster, divide and conquer. Start with the porn.