Guilt and shame

[Ellie218]

A few months ago I was a mess. A number of things were going on in my life that I didn't know how to handle so I went to a boy in search of healing. Without going into too much detail, it was one night, and it was over the Internet, not in real person. But the problem is, that he had a girlfriend at the time. And she is a good friend of mine. I can't begin to explain why I did what I did, but nevertheless, I did.

After it happened, I blocked him from everything and basically cut him out my life. I was sick and ashamed of my behaviour and made the decision to eliminate any future temptations. I cried out to God with this mistake and I distinctly remember lying on my bedroom floor in a sobbing mess of tears and feeling such peace after I confessed to God what I'd done.

However, a few days ago I was unexpectedly reminded of that night and got in contact with the boy (who is now engaged to her) and we decided we needed to tell her.

We came clean with her and she's understandably devastated. She said she never wants to see me again and couldn't understand why I'd do that to her.

I feel so ashamed of myself. So guilty. So angry at myself for hurting her and betraying her like that. That was so out of character for me and while I thought I dealt with it and left it at the cross after it happened, but now that we've come clean, I feel even worse. I'm worried she's going to tell all of our other friends and I'm going to be ridiculed and condemned.

I made a mistake. A huge one. I hurt one of my best friend's in the process.

If anyone could spare any advice/prayers for how to overcome this shame and guilt, I'd be very appreciative...

 

[Solomons Porch]

Welcome to CF
It's understandable how your friend feels at this point, give her some time and try to approach her with a deep heartfelt apology. I will be praying for you and all involved in your situation. Keep the FAITH.

 

[rockytopva]

Father I pray blessings on this request and for a victorious life that will bring you glory in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the bbnradio.org Family Altar program... BBN Program Schedule

 

[rockytopva]

The Sweetest Words He Ever Said

Like the woman brought to Jesus, who was taken in her sin,
I was so ashamed of what I'd done and where I'd been.
Well, justice called for payments that were more than I could give,
When mercy smiled upon me, saying, "I forgive."


CHORUS:
Oh, the sweetest words He ever said were "I forgive"
Death's sentence then was wiped away, and I could live,
Well, I like the part where He told about the mansions He would give,
But the sweetest words He ever said, were "I forgive."


Now, if you're tired of living with the wrongs that you have done,
Come on home to Jesus, you know He's the cleansing one.
In His arms He'll hold you, and you've just begun to live,
When you hear Him gently whisper, "I forgive."

 

[Truthfrees]

praying for you and your friend to have a divine miracle of healing and restoration

imo it would be best to clear it out with God first - sort out what He wants you to do and give your friend the space she needs to deal with the shock/devastation

keep praying for her from a distance - the distance she is asking for - she needs a healing - and so do you

time apart would be good

when God gives you total peace about doing something pray and follow God's lead carefully

don't do anything without great peace from God - just to avoid any further mistakes

praying in support of you and your friend through all of this in Jesus most wonderful name

 

[paul1149]

We came clean with her and she's understandably devastated. She said she never wants to see me again and couldn't understand why I'd do that to her.

Coming clean was hard and painful, and will be for a while. Give the situation time. I think the rightness of the confession will grow on you and increasingly bring you peace, whereas with burying the matter would always be festering.

Here's a prayer that the woman will choose to forgive, for everyone's sake, and that the healing can begin that much sooner and be that much more complete.

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

Praying for direction, courage, peace,and healing ~ God bless you

 

[alongingformore]

It takes courage posting something so vulnerable and personal online, so first of all a huge well done to you for doing that on here.

I think the others have got it right by saying that it's going to take time. Give her some space and time to process this and heal. And remember that her reaction to you was out of a place of anger and hurt; that's not your identity, it's not who you are.

We've all made mistakes and choices that we're not proud of - I'll be the first to admit that. But you've shown huge maturity in owning up to your mistake and coming clean, even though you've caused hurt in the process.

I'd recommend prayerfully reading Psalm 51. It's what David wrote after the Bathsheba incident. Confess your sins and flaws before God, lay it all out at the foot of the cross. I'm praying that you will be able to forgive yourself, as well.

God bless

 

[macek]

Praying for you and your friend, sister. Like others have said, trust in the Lord to guide you and give it some time. Your feeling of guilt will lessen with time, pray for blessings, healing and forgiveness for him, her and yourself.

 

[CtC]

Lord God, You alone are our Healer. You restore the broken, You heal our hearts, You draw us near in times of trouble, and You bring peace that passes understanding. Father, I ask You to bring peace in this situation. Draw Ellie and her friends close to You, oh God, wrap them in Your arms, and pour Your beautiful love upon them. Hear their cries. Heal their scars. Thank You Jesus for all that You are! Amen.