Guidance

[K.Carl]

I have finally answered what my heart has been calling for. I want to join the Catholic faith. But we have some problems. My current wife and I are both remarried. I first married a non-practicing Catholic as a baptized Protestant. We were married in an outdoor civil arrangement without a dispensation so there is the lack of form for me. My current wife was married in a Catholic ceremony to a man that converted prior to the wedding. She likely does not have any grounds for decree of nullity.

I have heard the suggestion to “live as brother and sister,” but that is not a serious suggestion for most. A vow of chastity is not realistic for most and undertaken by a very small percentage. Our marriage and family would not survive.

I feel that abandoning my current wife, either literally or figuratively, and consequently my children, is the only way that I could practice the faith.

 

[Michie]

I have finally answered what my heart has been calling for. I want to join the Catholic faith. But we have some problems. My current wife and I are both remarried. I first married a non-practicing Catholic as a baptized Protestant. We were married in an outdoor civil arrangement without a dispensation so there is the lack of form for me. My current wife was married in a Catholic ceremony to a man that converted prior to the wedding. She likely does not have any grounds for decree of nullity.

I have heard the suggestion to “live as brother and sister,” but that is not a serious suggestion for most. A vow of chastity is not realistic for most and undertaken by a very small percentage. Our marriage and family would not survive.

I feel that abandoning my current wife, either literally or figuratively, and consequently my children, is the only way that I could practice the faith.

You don’t have to abandon your current wife. Sounds like your first marriage would not be recognized. Your wife’s marriage would most likely need an annulment. Your best bet is to discuss this with a priest. Both of you preferably. I went through an annulment when I was converting. It’s not as much of a quagmire as people imagine it. My husband and I renewed our vows in the Church. Hand in there. Your chances are good and impossibility of getting it all straightened out is next to nothing. As Padre Pio said: Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Call a priest asap. Prayers for you on your journey.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I have finally answered what my heart has been calling for. I want to join the Catholic faith. But we have some problems. My current wife and I are both remarried. I first married a non-practicing Catholic as a baptized Protestant. We were married in an outdoor civil arrangement without a dispensation so there is the lack of form for me. My current wife was married in a Catholic ceremony to a man that converted prior to the wedding. She likely does not have any grounds for decree of nullity.

I have heard the suggestion to “live as brother and sister,” but that is not a serious suggestion for most. A vow of chastity is not realistic for most and undertaken by a very small percentage. Our marriage and family would not survive.

I feel that abandoning my current wife, either literally or figuratively, and consequently my children, is the only way that I could practice the faith.

Hey friend, glad to hear you're pursuing the faith!

@Michie said it best. I would consult a priest and see what instruction he gives you both in terms of petitioning for annulment. As airtight as things might seem in your wife's case, you never know what might come up when the tribunal reviews the facts. I don't want to make any promises, there are never any guarantees in this, but you never know until you try. So talk to a/your priest, find out what your first steps would be and as things progress you can learn what your next steps would be down the line depending on the outcome.

 

[RileyG]

Yes, speak with a priest and get the annulment process started.

God bless you.