grrrr..........

[luv4godremains]

I'm getting really frustrated now!
I was doing so well, I was able to smile, I met a guys who I really like, and that's what started me smiling, we got together now, he's away in Norfolk since sunday untill sat, but I really miss him, and I only met him on thursday. I'm getting really down again, I dno't wanna eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything, I constantly want to clean when I get agitated, and I can't stand this, I'm soo confused, the thing is, he live's on the other side of the world to me, so when he goes home to Africa, how am I gonna feel then? I thought I was getting better, but in reality, i think I may just be making myself worse? I dunno what to do! anyone got any advice, I have been to the docs, cos I haven't been actually happy in years, just hiding it, and it's not just a teenage thing, I'm seeing someone in october, but untill then, I dunno what to do, I have soo much hurt held inside, and don't even know what most of it is from, I can't let it out, I can feel anything to let it out, all I wanna do is lie in bed, but there's no point in doing that cos I can't sleep anyway! please, somebody help me!????

 

[Zita123]

Have you ever thought about journaling? I always do it and it really lets me get EVERYTHING out. I put the date so a year from now I can see where I was at and where I am now. but, please don't let this get to you where you can't talk to anybody because that is not healthy. Promise if you feel like doing anything bad, that you call the hotline. every city has one. They don't even care about your name, they are there to talk only.
Hope everything works out for you, I will be praying
GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS<
Zita

I'm getting really frustrated now!
I was doing so well, I was able to smile, I met a guys who I really like, and that's what started me smiling, we got together now, he's away in Norfolk since sunday untill sat, but I really miss him, and I only met him on thursday. I'm getting really down again, I dno't wanna eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything, I constantly want to clean when I get agitated, and I can't stand this, I'm soo confused, the thing is, he live's on the other side of the world to me, so when he goes home to Africa, how am I gonna feel then? I thought I was getting better, but in reality, i think I may just be making myself worse? I dunno what to do! anyone got any advice, I have been to the docs, cos I haven't been actually happy in years, just hiding it, and it's not just a teenage thing, I'm seeing someone in october, but untill then, I dunno what to do, I have soo much hurt held inside, and don't even know what most of it is from, I can't let it out, I can feel anything to let it out, all I wanna do is lie in bed, but there's no point in doing that cos I can't sleep anyway! please, somebody help me!????

 

[The Seb]

there is only one thing you can do, and that is pray... which is what i will do.

'dear lord please help luv4godremains in this difficult time that she is going through right now. Father please be with her throughout the day and help her mind not to be occupied with thoughts of this person. Please show her your love in her life and help her to know that you are always there for you and that you will never forsake her'

 

[luv4godremains]

well, I do write a journal, but the thing is, a lot of the time I just randomly feel like this, without any reason, that's why I have been sent to councellors and psychiatrists. but, I dunno, I'll keep writing in it in the hope that maybe someday it will help, and, I suppose it will keep my mind occupied. I'll keep praying, thanks Seb and Zita, I'm not gonna give up on trying, or hoping, God will use this for good, and it will go away soon, cos I hate feeling like this and the Devil has no right to have a hld on me with this! I'm just fed up of it really!

 

[bethdinsmore]

hi there
stress, good or bad, can lead to depression. A Christian counselor can be a big help, as can antidepressants if a doctor thinks they are indicated. As well as the Scriptures and prayer. Something that I think could help a lot in addition is a Christian support or recovery group, such as Overcomers Outreach. It is very practical, and they can share their experience, strength, and hope with you.

I'll pray for you, friend. God is the great healer. Aloha in Jesus

 

[luv4godremains]

the thing is, I tend to hide it most of the time, I really struggle to just be myself around people, becuase I'm afraid of them judging me becuase I struggle with this. I know that it's unlikely that people will think badly of me, but I get really paraniod about it! I just stay in bed when I can, don't move, get up, eat or anything, just lay there, so when people are around, I find it really hard to find the energy to keep faking being ok! I guess I need to start excercising again, in the hope that it will at least get my motivation up, even if it still dosn't help me to feel better!

 

[bethdinsmore]

Hi again luv4godremains -

One of the four main fears is the fear of rejection. This was the big fear of my life, and I was a huge people pleaser as a result. God has delivered me so much from that, using the methods I mentioned in an earlier post to you.

Exercise is good, but it's just like putting a bandaid on a big infected cut. Sometimes the cut can even heal over on the outside, but there can still be poison on the inside. There's a medical term for that, abcess. I was working at the vet one day and saw him cut into one. Even though things appeared fine on the outside, it was awful what poured out, and how much there was of it for such a small animal. Sorry if I've grossed you out, but your problem needs to be dealt with more directly.

What really got my attention was when a counselor said, "As long as you concentrate on being pleasing to others, it's impossible for you to always please God." (He is always pleased with Christians, but not always pleased with our thoughts or actions - because he sees us as human BEINGS rather than human DOINGS.)

Time for some action, friend. I'll pray for you.

Inch by inch, everything's a cinch.
Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

"One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Just give me the strength to do every day what I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
Tomorrow may never be mine
Lord help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time."

(lyricist unknown)


Eph. 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Phil 1:6 6 he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil 4:11 I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Phil 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Rom 8:1 … there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus

Rom 8:37-39 …we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation [including you, Blue Stare], will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Aloha in Jesus

 

[mikeforjesus]

"

the thing is, I tend to hide it most of the time, I really struggle to just be myself around people, becuase I'm afraid of them judging me becuase I struggle with this. I know that it's unlikely that people will think badly of me, but I get really paraniod about it! I just stay in bed when I can, don't move, get up, eat or anything, just lay there, so when people are around, I find it really hard to find the energy to keep faking being ok! I guess I need to start excercising again, in the hope that it will at least get my motivation up, even if it still dosn't help me to feel better!"

THATS ME TOO MOSTLY OR ALL OF IT!

 

[luv4godremains]

thanks guys, Bethdinsmore, I'm kinda afraid of letting go of my attempts to please people, the fact is, as long as I'm trying my best to do good things by others, then the less annoyed I get if someone wont accept me, I think, sometimes it works the other way around, well, i dunno actually, now that I'm writing this out! I just generally get annoyed when people don't like me in a way so much that they are willing to hurt me, deliberately! I guess I just try to be who others want me to be so that I can avoid rejection as much as I can! I mean, if I try to be a good person for them, then maybe they'll accept me! I guess I need to get out of that though, it put me in a lot of bad situations, and got me into a lot of things I should never have even touched or looked at, let alone end up struggling to get off!
and, about the excercise, I know you're right, I would phocus on what you could see, rather than what was inside, I ended up pretty ill because of this, guess I shouldn't excercise like that, just do healthy amounts!
My mum tried getting me to go to christian councelling, but she knows the councellor, my whole family does, and I asn't comfortable with that, to be honest, when mum first started suggesting it, I wouldn't accept that I had a "problem" I can't trust people my mum and sister know not to betray my trust! I read the bible when I can, and by can I mean when I can actually get myself out of bed! and when I'm not doing coursework or at school! I don't know of any christian support/recovery groups near where I live, and even if I did, I would be too scared to go! and no the docor side of things, I don't wanna go on anti-depressants, after seeing my mum and what the whole family went through whilst she was on them and when she stopped taking them, I couldn't do that, I'm too afraid of hurting someone because of it! however, I do have psychiatrists and councellors to go to in october or something! I'm kinda scared as it's a family thing we are doing! but, if it'll help then, I guess I should do it! thanks!

 

[luv4godremains]

Mike, I'm sorry ya feel like this too, if ya ever wanna chat, you can always PM me!
I think I'm gonna go try and get some sleep, it's annoying, no matter how much time I spend in bed, I barely get any sleep! oh well

 

[bethdinsmore]

... Bethdinsmore, I'm kinda afraid of letting go of my attempts to please people, ... I guess I just try to be who others want me to be so that I can avoid rejection as much as I can! ... I read the bible when I can, ...I don't know of any christian support/recovery groups near where I live, and even if I did, I would be too scared to go! ...I do have psychiatrists and councellors to go to in october or something! I'm kinda scared as it's a family we are doing! but, if it'll help then, I guess I should do it! ...

Hi again friend
Oh this all sounds so familiar - In attending recovery groups, and recovering myself, and leading groups. Will try not to repeat myself, can't see my original post.

Fear of rejection is one of the four basic fears, according to expert Pat Springle.

Working alone: As you seek growth, you are so wise to choose spending time in the Scriptures. The Holy Spirit can use them and prayer to bring you great wisdom and strength. There are other things to help you as you work alone. Codependent workbooks like those by Pat Springle could be a big help, at least until you would feel comfortable entering a Christian recovery group (such as www.overcomersoutreach.org/p3.html for locations). These are both very practical things, and can show you Scriptures that hit your problems right on target. And show you how to better cooperate with God as He leads you. Also as you learn on your own, you could see how God led me, for example. In case I didn't mention it already, see "Personal Testimony" and "Marital Madness" on my website listed on my profile page. Seeing how God led others to recovery can help built your trust. (Also, I know God doesn't want us to always work alone, or He wouldn't have said "forsake not the assembling of yourselves together." - but that is something to work towards, asking Him to make you willing and to lead you to the right people).

Letting go and letting God
It is a very fearful thing to do for a person who has been badly hurt in the past. Most overcomers have had post traumatic stress disorder - something that some soldiers get in battle. It is a normal reaction, but we don't have to remain in that state. Our ways of coping were often developed in childhood as a way to survive physically or mentally. They were our only survival tools, and to let them go is very frightening. But there are better tools out there, that are more effective and can make us stronger. God will be our protection as we let go, as long as we do things His way. So, first, it takes trust in God. Many of us didn't have that, mistakenly transferring our thoughts and feelings about significant others to Him. If you're not there yet, that's a good place to start working. I could go on and own, explaining the process, but Springle's work does that biblically, step by step.

Counseling
Christian counseling and Christian psychiatrists can be very helpful. Non-Christians less so, sometimes much less. If you are not ready to go on your own and find someone who perhaps counsels at a local church that doesn't know your family, waiting till October and attending with family should still be helpful. Make sure that you are heard, however. If your fear of rejection makes you freeze up, I suggest making notes before and during the session, and then between sessions writing letters to the counselor. If s/he doesn't have your full information, the counseling will not be on target. If your parents forbid you to do this, tell your counselor.

I'm no expert, friend - these are all just things that worked for me. I'll pray for you. God bless you. Aloha (love) in Jesus

With God, I Can Do Anything

As you begin to experience that, eventually you will be able to say to yourself:

Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway


Jer 29:11-12
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
(NIV)

 

[luv4godremains]

thanks Bethdinsmore,
I hope I start to feel better soon, am soo competely numb right now. I'll just have to keep reading my bible, and maybe even find some comfort in the scriptures about death, as one of the few friends I have ni my year just died! oh well, the nhumbness will go some time!

 

[bethdinsmore]

Hi again, friend

Sorry you are suffering about your friend - even if you feel numb right now. I lost my best friend about 5 years ago. God has soothed my heart, and after a while I was able to remember her with gladness instead of pain.

Glad you are hanging in there with the Bible.

Isa 55:11 ... my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (NIV)

(In the following verse, I do not mean to imply you are sinning - rather, that Jesus was tried in all ways and He understands exactly your situation and wants to help you.)
Heb 4:12-16 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (NIV)

Aloha in Jesus, friend

 

[luv4godremains]

thanks again, you are soo great, I don't see how you manage this! lol, you're such a star, all of you guys are!

 

[kleptobismol]

girl, i know exactly how u feel. guys are usually the main reason why my depression springs up again. if u wanna talk, PM me