Grieving Over Sin

[Christsfreeservant]

What we don't talk about and should: This is eating away at marriages, families, church congregations, pastors' lives, and is destroying Christians' walk with the Lord and testimony for Jesus Christ. See this link: BlazingGrace.org | Statistics and information on pornography in the USA: Encyclopedia of Urban Minis - www.blazinggrace.org

The Lord led me to examine some truths and lies associated with pornography addiction:

Truth: Pornography is adultery against your spouse. If I were to walk into a room and find my husband viewing pornography, it would be the same as walking into our bedroom and finding him having relations with another woman.

Lie: Pornography is a personal sin that doesn't hurt anyone else.

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Truth: Not telling your spouse that you viewed pornography is the same as not telling your spouse that you just had an extramarital affair with another woman.

Lie: I don't have to confess to my spouse, just to God and then I am right with God.

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Truth: Lying to your spouse will hurt him or her.

Lie: Telling a lie to my spouse will keep him or her from getting hurt.

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Truth: Giving in to the temptation to view pornography as a frequent or even occasional ongoing situation over a period of time has more to it than just an individual isolated situation of giving in to a temptation. There is something underlying that must be dealt with for complete victory.

Lie: Each time I give in to the temptation it is an isolated incident of a problem of lust and does not need to have further examination to see what is really at the root of the problem.

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Truth: If this is an ongoing problem, you can't do this yourself - you've tried, and maybe even had success for a while, but then you went right back to where you were before. You need help and you need accountability.

Lie: I can handle this myself. I don't need accountability.

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Satan is the author of lies and he lies to people so much and convinces them that they can handle things such as this, which they have proven they can't, not for long anyway. We need to stop listening to Satan's lies and we need to put on the truth of God's word if we are to have victory over the control of and bondage to sin in our lives.

I am sharing this because I grieve over this and I weep over the lives that are being destroyed by it and the families and the marriages that are falling victim to this problem and the fact that it is not being addressed and it is being shoved under the rug and so it just perpetuates the problem. I am hurting deeply right now for those who are believing Satan's lies and are having difficulty accepting the truth for whatever reason and so I thought if I brought it out in the open that it would cause us all to stop pushing the problem under the rug but to confess our faults one to another so that we can be healed.

Ezekiel 9:3-4: Now the glory of the God of Israel went up from above the cherubim, where it had been, and moved to the threshold of the temple. Then the LORD called to the man clothed in linen who had the writing kit at his side and said to... him, “Go throughout the city of Jerusalem and put a mark on the foreheads of those who grieve and lament over all the detestable things that are done in it.”

Amos 6:5-6: You strum away on your harps like David
and improvise on musical instruments.
6 You drink wine by the bowlful
and use the finest lotions,
but you do not grieve over the ruin of Joseph.

James 4:8-10: Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

We, as Christ's church, need to grieve over this. We need to yell it out at the top of our lungs and we need to stop keeping this a secret. We need to mourn, grieve and wail as though a million of our loved ones had just been slaughtered by an enemy, because that is what is happening here. Our husbands, wives, sons and daughters are falling victim to sexual sin at an alarming rate and it is ruining entire families. We have to break the silence so that we, as God's church, will rise up against this and will do something about it to save our families.

Proverbs 1:20-23: Wisdom calls aloud in the street,
she raises her voice in the public squares;
21 at the head of the noisy streets she cries out,
in the gateways of the city she makes her speech:
22 “How long will you simple ones love your simple ways?
How long will mockers delight in mockery
and fools hate knowledge?
23 If you had responded to my rebuke,
I would have poured out my heart to you
and made my thoughts known to you…

 

[Christsfreeservant]

This is related to what the Lord had me write earlier in the day - http://www.christianforums.com/t7521326/

 

[Alive_Again]

Lie: I don't have to confess to my spouse, just to God and then I am right with God.
Truth: Lying to your spouse will hurt him or her.
Lie: Telling a lie to my spouse will keep him or her from getting hurt.

I comment has nothing to do with porn, as that is your subject.

I understand that the human condition was desires built in. In the New Covenant we are held to a higher standard than the old. If you lust in your heart, you might as well have done the deed. There are MANY people in the world, who might look pretty hard, but NEVER do the act they were thinking of. Maybe the reason they "went there" in their minds/heart, is because someone was dressed provacotively, and was walking carnally (when we are at our weakest). The Lord holds us to a higher standard.

Would I want to know if my wife crossed the border into lust because she looked too long? I understand the human frailty. I would want her to repent and purpose to not do it again out of loyalty to God and to me. I would be hurt if every time something like that happened she told me about it. Use wisdom.

It's ridiculous to think that non-contact situations require total disclosure to your spouse. On the contrary, I believe it to be counterproductive to the relationship.

As far as contact goes, or maybe even porn, do as you're led. That's the real answer. Just because you don't say everything doesn't mean you are lying.

God doesn't tell us everything and He's certainly not lying for failing to disclose.

 

[Christsfreeservant]

I comment has nothing to do with porn, as that is your subject.

I understand that the human condition was desires built in. In the New Covenant we are held to a higher standard than the old. If you lust in your heart, you might as well have done the deed. There are MANY people in the world, who might look pretty hard, but NEVER do the act they were thinking of. Maybe the reason they "went there" in their minds/heart, is because someone was dressed provacotively, and was walking carnally (when we are at our weakest). The Lord holds us to a higher standard.

Would I want to know if my wife crossed the border into lust because she looked too long? I understand the human frailty. I would want her to repent and purpose to not do it again out of loyalty to God and to me. I would be hurt if every time something like that happened she told me about it. Use wisdom.

It's ridiculous to think that non-contact situations require total disclosure to your spouse. On the contrary, I believe it to be counterproductive to the relationship.

As far as contact goes, or maybe even porn, do as you're led. That's the real answer. Just because you don't say everything doesn't mean you are lying.

God doesn't tell us everything and He's certainly not lying for failing to disclose.

Just for clarification, I am not the one dealing with a pornography issue. I am helping someone, though, who is, which is why I am grieving over the sin in a fellow believer in Jesus Christ, and not just over his sin but over the prevalence of this sin in our society and among believers in Jesus Christ and pastors, as well, and how it is destroying marriages, families, etc. The lies are what keep this sin going because as long as one feels the freedom to keep the sin private, though it is never really private, he or she destroys intimacy with his or her spouse and has broken the marriage vows, which then carries over to so many other aspects of the relationship. Lies just produce more lies and lies over sin and keeping things hidden only allows for more sin and more betrayal of marriage vows and little by little the marriage is eaten away until there is only a shell left. Deceit, lies and betrayal kill love, commitment, and trust.

 

[Alive_Again]

I agree it is bad. Some serious deliverance is necessary.

Although the specific sin points to the sinner in question. To obtain deliverance, their needs to be a serious walk in the Spirit. This would mean both of them need to seriously lay it down and get the spirit of the world out of their home.

While the porn thing is a serious matter, it is nothing like getting together with another woman. Even though the Lord said it was just as bad in God's sight, as far as departing from the way, actually going beyond the realm of fantasy is far worse. I hope the lady victim understands the difference.

 

[godisreal36]

The realm of fantasy found within pornography is worse than having sex outside of marriage. (in my opinion)

I don't think she would feel anything but worthless if her husband was looking at porn. Porn is so bad. Nothing Good comes from it. The man should consider his wifes feelings. Low self esteem can be severe in some people. Porn is worse than looking at real women. Yes i said worse! Porn is airbrushed and edited to make the women appear as something she's not in real life. And remember that she is probably somebodies wife, so you commit many sins with porn. Real women can't compete with a fantasy. Porn is good for nothing but evil. Forget the porn, get a real women and stay into the real world. Porn so bad, can't say this enough. If you're going to sin, keep it real. Fantasy can take you places you wished you never went. And if you are fantasizing about something you are guilty of actually doing it. Keep it real.

 

[godisreal36]

I'm sorry but you just hit on a huge problem. I must reiterate my warning. If you fantasize in your mind when you're with your wife, and you got porn on the mind, not good. If you're going to fantasize about a women, you might as well do it in reality instead because you're guilty anyways i think.. I think it's better to get a hooker than sit at home with porn and fantasize, it will only warp your mind. May god correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Alive_Again]

It's all bad. Take whatever steps to get it out of your life. Get deliverance. That's what it all boils down to.

Be led on what you share with the Missus. Some things would only hurt her. In some cases, she should know.

Confession and prayer rather than counseling. You can't counsel a demonic spirit.

There are other areas spirits can get a hold on people. It can happen to anyone. Really everyone is a victim. No on in their right mind would continue on a course destined for Hell.

 

[godisreal36]

I wasn't condoning sin with my above post, only standing up against porn. This porn I had in my life when i was young, it did warp my thinking. Also i agree, whatever it is, get rid of it. Fantasy is worse than reality i think. Porn so horrible, especially to kids. Bad stuff this porn, run from it as fast as you can. Seriously.