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PastorDiane

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PSALM 411 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
PSALM 412 The LORD will preserve him, and keep him alive; and he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. PSALM 413 The LORD will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness.
PSALM 414 I said, LORD, be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against thee.
PSALM 415 Mine enemies speak evil of me, When shall he die, and his name perish?
PSALM 416 And if he come to see me, he speaketh vanity: his heart gathereth iniquity to itself; when he goeth abroad, he telleth it.
PSALM 417 All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt.
i THINK THIS VERSE WILL COVER IT:preach:
 
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edie19

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Speaking of motives... :doh:

Anyhoo, I have been guilty of gossip but not the 'mean girls' variety of gossip.

There are so many times that I might be talking to a parent down at school, and I mention something about another child, or about another parent. I don't always realize it, but that's gossip, too. If I'm talking to my mom, and I happen to tell her something that transpired between myself and a member, I am gossiping. Gossip doesn't always have to be false, and it doesn't even always have to be hurtful.

I always try to remember that if someone didn't outright give me permission to tell others what they have told me, I shouldn't be sharing it with anyone.

And trust me, it is HARD when I am so close with my husband and my mom.

That's exactly what I'm saying - I don't think half the time we even realize we're doing it. To share experiences is such a part of our nature - and it doesn't have to be vindictive or to cause harm.
 
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PastorDiane

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Bible Verses
PSALM 41:8-128 An evil disease, say they, cleaveth fast unto him: and now that he lieth he shall rise up no more. PSALM 41:8-129 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.
PSALM 41:8-1210 But thou, O LORD, be merciful unto me, and raise me up, that I may requite them.
PSALM 41:8-1211 By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me.
PSALM 41:8-1212 And as for me, thou upholdest me in mine integrity, and settest me before thy face for ever.


as you can see from these versus that it was a friend that caused the trouble
 
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GreenMunchkin

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PSALM 411 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.​

PSALM 412 The LORD will preserve him, and keep him alive; and he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. PSALM 413 The LORD will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness.​

PSALM 414 I said, LORD, be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against thee.​

PSALM 415 Mine enemies speak evil of me, When shall he die, and his name perish?​

PSALM 416 And if he come to see me, he speaketh vanity: his heart gathereth iniquity to itself; when he goeth abroad, he telleth it.​

PSALM 417 All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt.​
i THINK THIS VERSE WILL COVER IT:preach:
Thank you :hug::hug:

That's exactly what I'm saying - I don't think half the time we even realize we're doing it. To share experiences is such a part of our nature - and it doesn't have to be vindictive or to cause harm.
But sharing experiences and seeking support isn't gossip, I don't think. Gossip is the whispering and secrecy and meanness... they're very different things, I think? :hug:
 
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PreachersWife2004

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If you're sharing your experience with another person, and that sharing involves talking about someone else, then you are riding the finest line every between simply sharing and gossiping. That's what make gossip so insidious.

Example.

I have a run-in with a parent at school. Her child is not getting along with my child, and she puts all the blame on my son.

Later on I am talking to another parent, and I share my experience with this parent, telling her how this other parent blamed my son for the boys not getting along.

This seems to be a harmless, innocent conversation, but in reality it really isn't. I have now impugned the other mother's character, whether I meant to or not. The 2nd parent that I am talking to now could have a negative connotation about the first parent. She may not convey that negative thought to me, however, so I wouldn't really know for sure.

In an example like this, it's hard because we feel as though we were the wronged ones and we want to share that with someone. How do we do that without gossiping?
 
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JimfromOhio

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One of the Devil's beatitudes is: Blessed are they who gossip, for they cause strife and divisions that please me. Both Conservatives and Liberal Christians are guilty of this. So is the REST of the world regadless of their race, culture, lifestyle and beliefs. The fact of the matter is that GOSSIP does not discriminate anyone. Everyone is guilty and everyone is hurt by gossiping.

Gossip, rumors, slander, false accusations, lies, evil speech can stain and pollute and destroy.

Bible does say; “Don’t gossip… Don’t backbite.” Fishing around with little hints to find out if anybody else knows about this, is a form of gossip.

Do we discourage others from spreading the gossip?

or

Do we encourage others with listening ears?

Gossiping is a sin, as it is a lack of love.

The Greek term "tattlers" speaks of gossip or babble.

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

Proverbs 16:28
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Proverbs 18:8
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

Proverbs 20:19
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Proverbs 26:20
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

Proverbs 26:22
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

Romans 1:29-30
They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,slanderers......

2 Corinthians 12:20
For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.

3 John 1:10
So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.

A Christian who are to give good testimonies to others that will have a good reputation, especially to the outsiders who are watching. Our reputation is evangelism that God CAN use, not when we slander others.

Jesus reserved His strongest criticism for religious people who used their spiritual reputation to get social attention and honors. Jesus saw clearly into the practice of religion, which holds the opinions and attention of man to be more important and desirable than the approval of God. Often Religion leaders makes life harder.

Because religion cannot change a heart, it tries to control people with laws and expectations that are not even kept by the religionists who interpret and apply the rules. With this "burden factor" in mind, Jesus said, "Woe to you also, lawyers [experts in religious law]! For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers" (Luke 11:46).

Religion is good at describing high standards of right behavior and relationships, but poor at giving real and merciful help to those who realize they have not lived up to those expectations. Religionists are those who trust the beliefs and actions of their religion to do what only Christ can do.

"Jesus reserved his hardest words for the hidden sins of hypocrisy, pride, greed and legalism." Philip Yancey

"A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself, but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself." Tozer, A.W.

He who divulgeth secrets cannot or will not forebear to publish other things, and so is not fit to be trusted with anything. Matthew Poole

How can he abide long time in peace who occupieth himself with other men's matters...? Thomas a Kempis

The old country doctor of my boyhood days always began his examination by saying, "Let me see your tongue." It is a good way to start the examination of anybody. Vance Havner

It is required of us that we be tender of the good name of our brethren; where we cannot speak well, we had better say nothing than speak evil; we must not take pleasure in making known the faults of others, divulging things that are secret, merely to expose them, nor in making more of their known faults than really they deserve, and, least of all, in making false stories, and spreading things concerning them of which they are altogether innocent. What is this but to raise the hatred and encourage the persecutions of the world, against those who are engaged in the same interests with ourselves, and therefore with whom we ourselves must stand or fall? "Consider you are brethren. Matthew Henry

It is a sign of a perverse and treacherous disposition to wound the good name of another, when he has no opportunity of defending himself. John Calvin

Gossip is a low form of communion with the saints.
Anonymous

It is easier to be silent altogether than to speak with moderation. Thomas a Kempis

A gossip is a beast of prey who does not even wait for the death of his victim. George Meredith

"All generalizations are false, including this one," yet we keep making them. We create images - graven ones that can't be changed; we dismiss or accept people, products, programs, and propaganda according to the labels they come under; we know a little about something, and we treat it as if we know everything. Elisabeth Elliot

...none are more liable to slanders and calumnies than godly teachers. Not only does it arise from the difficulties of their office, that sometimes they either sink under it, or stagger, or halt, or blunder, in consequence of which wicked men seize many occasions for finding fault with them; but there is this additional vexation, that, although they perform their duty correctly, so as not to commit any error whatever, they never escape a thousand censures. And this is the craftiness of Satan, to draw away the hearts of men from ministers, that instruction may gradually fall into contempt. Thus not only is wrong done to innocent persons, in having their reputation unjustly wounded, (which is exceedingly base in regard to those who hold so honourable a rank,) but the authority of the sacred doctrine of God is diminished...Not only so, but as soon as any charge against ministers of the word has gone abroad, it is believed as fully as if they were already convicted. John Calvin

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. Anonymous

A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. Billy Graham

The bottom line:
In 1 Corinthians 13:5 says "Love does not act unbecomingly"; which means a Christian should demonstrate godly love and have real Christian credibility.

What, as Conservative Christians can do from now on?
 
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JimfromOhio

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Gossip is about power over information that hurst someone. Is about disinformation. For the most part the gossiper feels important while the person being gossiped about is left to defend themselves.

I agree. When Christian talks about "discernment", this is where they THINK this is discernment. This is where we are to discern the issue. In many posts I see around the forum were based on logics, assumptions and reasoning. The problem was was that all their accusations were unfounded and the victims are the ones who got hurt the most.
 
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Nadiine

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That's exactly what I'm saying - I don't think half the time we even realize we're doing it. To share experiences is such a part of our nature - and it doesn't have to be vindictive or to cause harm.
:thumbsup: :hug:

We're so used to gossipping sister, that we sadly DON"T recognize when we do it.
Seculars make alot of jokes and mockery about us for our gossipping... and I don't doubt they have a good point.

Most of it harms imo. Very little is helpful and I don't like it when it's done to me.

IF I do gossip, please confront me so I can apologize (but please make sure it IS gossip first!!) lol :sorry: :o
 
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Nadiine

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Gossips are usually started by "assuming" motives of others.
I really don't agree with that fully; gossip doesn't care what motive is, it points out wrongs or negatives and usually it stems from wanting to ELEVATE OURSELVES somehow.
The lower another becomes, the more righteous and good we appear.

(most likely stemming from low self esteem -- or wanting to gain an upper hand in something (manipulation).
 
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JimfromOhio

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I really don't agree with that fully; gossip doesn't care what motive is, it points out wrongs or negatives and usually it stems from wanting to ELEVATE OURSELVES somehow.
The lower another becomes, the more righteous and good we appear.

(most likely stemming from low self esteem -- or wanting to gain an upper hand in something (manipulation).

Gossips includes criticism, fault finding (looking for motives), slander.
 
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GreenMunchkin

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I dislike it so much that I used scripture in my signature. Not only gossip, but the things we say to each other. It's really sad. No good can become of it.
I agree. Except, there's a degree of integrity in saying it to the person. Assuming it's not spat out with vitriol, it can lead to discussion and healing.

But whispering and back-stabby viciousness can only go one way :(
 
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Lady Bug

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I sometimes think that people engage in gossip in order to either fit in with a group, or keep a conversation going on between two people.

Gossip is probably one of the most backstabbing things you can do to someone though. What's awful about it is that it can occur from someone who seems to be your friend. You never know what people are saying behind your back, people who purport themselves as your best friends, only to find out that they say things that they don't like about you, to someone else. Like, "She's really annoying even though she is basically a nice person" or something like that.

Before I became a Christian officially, several months ago (yeah I am a newly hatched egg), I used to talk with someone about people at work whose habits I found very annoying. The truth of the matter is, that those people were annoying but now I feel so different about what I have done (gossiping), compared to when I was not a Christian (I often wonder about how some of the changes in me occurred seemingly suddenly). I think what I did was wrong and cruel, even though the things I said would not be deemed that cruel by worldly standards. Talking about people in that kind of way, when they never did anything to malign you, is just wrong...I mean, how would I like it if I were being talk about in that way?

What makes things difficult is when or if you encounter gossiping in the workplace. If you don't want to gossip along with them, you worry about whether or not they think you are standoffish if you don't feel like talking with them about such and such. And then you could run the risk of being the subject of gossip yourself, if you are discovered to be a quiet person who doesn't like to get involved in that kind of talk. That hasn't happened to me yet but it doesn't sound like something that happens occasionally either.
 
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Nadiine

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Exactly ladybug - it's used to elevate us between one another. The more we can 'harm' someone else with something negative or bad, the better WE look.

Women also do this more in trying to fit in with other women; gain friendship. absolutely.
I do'nt think men generally operate that way. They seem to be more secure with one another??
But being that I knew lots of girls... this was always common.

(nope, it's no attack on all women) just that it seems to be used more by women for personal advantage. Just observations I make due to past relationships/ experiences in general.
 
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PreachersWife2004

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One of the best way I look at situations like this is would I want the person I'm talking about to ever hear what I am saying about them. If the answer is 'no', I better not say it.

Have you ever walked in on a conversation that was about you and not in a good way? How embarrassing, and insulting, especially if I thought they were friends of mine...
 
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JimfromOhio

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Have you ever walked in on a conversation that was about you and not in a good way? How embarrassing, and insulting, especially if I thought they were friends of mine...


Oh yeah. This has affected me two ways:

1. If the statements are true: If that is how they thought of me, I need to make some changes.

2. If the statements are false: I confront them after hearing the words and give the opportunities of why they made the statements.
 
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synger

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My pastor defines gossip as anytime you are not a part of the problem or a part of the solution. If you don't fit into either of those categories, then you shouldn't be discussing it. To be a part of the answer/solution, you must have spiritual influence over all parties concerned. Gossip is not just speaking the problem, it is also the person who listens.

My concern is not when I'm not part of the problem or part of the solution -- that's rather clear-cut. By that definition, anytime I talk about a situation that I am not directly involved in, it's gossip.

I think that is a rather simplistic definition, but a very good starting place. Beyond that, I need to know if the resolution of the situation one way or the other is going to adversely affect me. If so, then I want to know as much about the situation as possible -- even if I'm neither part of the problem nor in a position to assist in the solution. I think we'd all agree that cruel or mean-spirited talking is ot a godly activity. But there is information-sharing about a situation that we're not directly involved in that may not be mean-spirited, and in fact be somewhat necessary.

In some ways, this is what I've seen here lately. Backbiting aside, some of the information shared here could be seen as gossip, or could be seen as "information" for a situation that affects us all. As long as it might affect us, we are going to want to share whatever information we have. And thus, we not only share information, but sometimes let the more mean-spirited commentary into the discussion... and thus fall into a gossip trap.
 
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Nadiine

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One of the best way I look at situations like this is would I want the person I'm talking about to ever hear what I am saying about them. If the answer is 'no', I better not say it.

Have you ever walked in on a conversation that was about you and not in a good way? How embarrassing, and insulting, especially if I thought they were friends of mine...
:thumbsup:
 
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