Good to see this folder...

[cruztacean]

I haven't been here in ages due to personal reasons, and when I come back, here's this section for BPD.

I have it, and it almost destroyed my marriage.

Jim was convinced I have bipolar disorder, and my doctor said no. Jim said, "I don't care what your doctor says. She doesn't live with you. I do."

And we separated. When we were both educated about BPD, we came to these conclusions:

1. It's easy to confuse borderline with bipolar. They have a lot of the same symptoms. So it's easy to see why he didn't believe my doctor.
2. He hadn't really given my med adjustment time to work.
3. He's borderline also. It's documented that two borderlines have trouble living together.

When we separated, it was Jim's idea completely. It broke me to pieces. And this ties into why I haven't been here so long, also. Jim moved from our one bedroom apartment to an efficiency in the same building. He thought I could do the same thing. We both knew I couldn't maintain a one bedroom by myself.

It turned out I couldn't get an apartment in the same building. It's for elderly and disabled people. I'm disabled, but they have to have a certain percentage of elderly people. When Jim moved in, the minimum age for new tenants was 55, to maintain that quota. He was old enough, and that's what got me in--on his lease. When he left, it turned out they had raised the minimum age to 62. He's 61 and was grandfathered in because he was already here, but I couldn't get in as head of household on my own lease.

Jim later aplogized profusely to me. He didn't intend for me to have to go to a homeless shelter. I was in one for several months and finally was able to move into my own apartment under special assistance for people with disablities.

Meanwhile we are working out our issues. We cannot live together because his building won't allow two people in an efficiency, there's a two-year waiting list to get another one bedroom, and my one bedroom is not accessible to his wheelchair. But I am with him on weekends, and we go to church together. That's allowed, so long as I'm not actually living with him. I have no internet access at home, but I can come here and post. My posts will not be daily, but it allows me to come back.

Jim and I are both in individual therapy and under psychiatric care. It may be a while before we can live together again, though, if ever. But we are still married, still committed and still faithful. We'll probably get into couples counseling as we both get more stable individually.

It's rare to see a man with BPD, but hubby got lucky....

 

[madison1101]

Hi,
It sounds like you have been through the wringer with your housing situation. I hope you are able to reconcile your marriage and find some peace and happiness.

My marriage ended because of my BPD. Praise God, now I am no longer diagnosed with it. I would have to say that my divorce helped cure me.

I am glad you posted. Feel free to post more and share how you are doing.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[cruztacean]

One major difference between borderline and bipolar is that borderline is curable. Yes, it takes hard work but it can be done. Bipolar is not actually curable but can be managed.

Also, you're born with the brain chemistry that causes bipolar, but according to my new therapist, borderline is always the result of childhood trauma such as sexual abuse, etc. I've been on antidepressants for years, and I wonder if I will ever be able to go off of them. The depression, apart from BPD, is chemical and requires medication. I may still need meds when the BPD goes, but my condition will vastly improve. Thanks for your ray of hope, as one who has been cured.

 

[cruztacean]

PS. I also changed doctors, but the reason was that part of my housing program requires I be a client of case management. The clinic I was going to before didn't offer case management, so I had to change. The new doctor reiterated that I do not have bipolar disorder, and my therapist says she can tell I've been working hard. I'm honored to hear that. Give God the glory, though. She says that many people with BPD aren't sufficiently motivated to recover. They don't know anything other than their own mindset and are virtually powerless to change it. My recovery is God's work.

 

[madison1101]

PS. I also changed doctors, but the reason was that part of my housing program requires I be a client of case management. The clinic I was going to before didn't offer case management, so I had to change. The new doctor reiterated that I do not have bipolar disorder, and my therapist says she can tell I've been working hard. I'm honored to hear that. Give God the glory, though. She says that many people with BPD aren't sufficiently motivated to recover. They don't know anything other than their own mindset and are virtually powerless to change it. My recovery is God's work.

Good for you. Positive feedback is always good to hear.

I saw my psychiatrist a couple weeks ago, and he gave me positive feedback as to my recovery, and it felt soooooo good. My psychologist is not as generous with the positive feedback, though he does give it. When he gives it, I am thrilled. Sometimes I have to ask for it.

Keep up the good work. It is worth it.

Hugs,
Trish