Good Thoughts From Tolkien on Monogamy

[HereIStand]

Also, why should women who desire sex make men jump through those hoops if they don't want to? Just so that the men stay virtuous?

That's just another flavor of telling women to dress modestly so that they don't tempt men.

If you don't treat your wife kindly, she probably won't be in the mood, nor should she be. Beyond this, if an unmarried man doesn't have to do anything except skow up and request sex, where is the love and commitment in that. Seems empty, even by secular standards.

 

[Nithavela]

If you don't treat your wife kindly, she probably won't be in the mood, nor should she be.

I don't think that's how arousal works.

You completely ignored my points, by the way.

 

[PreviouslySeeking...]

Another problem with it is that it means every marriage (or other sexual relationship) is just prostitution, which no one seems to think about when they promote this idea.

Not quite. Women in this situation wouldn't be experiencing any material gain, merely decent treatment. That would be a decidedly paltry exchange. I think prostitutes would be offended.

 

[PreviouslySeeking...]

I don't know that he was expert. He was writing a letter.

His opinions ring true for me. Women do stray. They're more likely to be lured away by a "good listener." Men are lured by physical attraction, not necessarily connected to communication.

Perhaps we have a generational difference. Women are no more lured or seduced than men. I knew one married woman, she pursued a man in his 20s, he was quite inarticulate and dense. I don't think she was interested in his listening skills.

Women cheat for as wide of a variety of reasons as men do.

Men who put women on pedestals do so to their own detriment.

 

[durangodawood]

Eagerly awaiting JK Rowling's take on the subject!