Going from a normal relationship to a long distance one

[FOG]

Let me give a quick background.
My girlfriend of about two years is a grade ahead of me - this year she will be a freshman in college and I will still be a senior in high school. She's moving off about three hours of driving away. To make matters worse, I'm not planning on going to the same college as her, so in a year or so we'll be even farther away. We've decided that we're in this for the long haul and that we're going to make this work.. We've already planned to make day trip visits at least once a month during the school year and etc.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you who have been in a successful long distance relationship have any tips on how to make things a bit easier? I'm not really scared about the relationship going sour or ending, I'm just scared about the distance and the pain that could possibly come along with that. If you have any tips or unique things for long distance relationships, that would help ease my mind a little bit.

Thanks!

 

[nbiol]

1.) Call her. Keep the communication lines open at all times.

2.) Send her a letter every once in a while. Make it romantic and mushy. Keep the romance alive

3.) Send her presents/flowers every once in a while to let her know that you're still in it and you want it to work...that you're thinking of her and you're still in love with her.

4.) Visit her!

 

[Blank123]

1.) Call her. Keep the communication lines open at all times.

2.) Send her a letter every once in a while. Make it romantic and mushy. Keep the romance alive

3.) Send her presents/flowers every once in a while to let her know that you're still in it and you want it to work...that you're thinking of her and you're still in love with her.

4.) Visit her!

what she said.

 

[explodingboy]

emails and the occasional letter. presents are good too, I managed to knit a few things for my GF during the 2months before I moved out to the US for the long haul.

Also rather than just calling get some webcams if possible and a good microphone/headset, its really allot nicer to see who your talking to every now and again.

and visits are a definite, make sure you remember at all times that your there to see her.

 

[soccergal48]

I've now been in a long-distance relationship for 2 and a half years so I know what you're feeling right now. The above suggestions are fabulous. Definitely need to communicate well and trust your significant other. I'm in PA school and honestly, a long-distance relationship has really been a blessing in disguise. Don't take this the wrong way or that I'm cold and heartless but I am so busy studying and going to classes that, if my boyfriend was here at school with me, I don't think our relationship would be as strong.

Inevitably, you are going to miss your GF but the long-distance thing, it forces you to make every moment you spend with her or talk with her count. I'm not going to candy-coat it, the first couple days that you get home from visiting her, you're going to be a little down. When that happens, I always think about what a great time we had together and what we're going to do the next time I see him. Also, take lots of pictures! On your bad days, those are going to make your day better. When you're not with your GF, take pictures of you doing things, i.e. going to the amusement park, at a church picnic, etc. Then send those pics to your GF, it will make her feel included in your activities even if she wasn't able to be there.

Lastly, one of the things by BF does before he leaves is he'll hide little surprises around my apartment. Most of the time, they're just stupid little things or notes. One time, he stole my Anatomy notebook without my knowledge and a couple of weeks later during class, I flipped a page and there was a note he had written to me when he last came to visit.

Overall, just make sure you include the other person when they're not there and communicate...a lot!

 

[C0B2A]

webcam!
yeah what everyone else said, the key to long distance is to always reassure your significant other that you are thinking about them, so all the above ideas are really good. Communication is the biggest part of it.

Also be considerate, if your in a relationship with them you shouldn't be going to partys while in college that would even give your SO worry. Things like that.

Text messeging, phone calls, web cam, letters.

Also 3 hours is nothing.. you can drive up easy for weekend visits. Just work it out with the parents so you can sleep at there house in like a spare room or the living room couch

 

[FOG]

Thanks everyone for the replies. It's now one month until she moves away, but after talking and praying about it I'm feeling less worried. I know it won't be easy, but as some of you said, it will keep us from taking each other for granted - the time we have with each other will be extremely valuable.

Thanks also for the tips; I really like the idea of writing in the school notebooks, i think she would be happily surprised by something like that.

I'll keep y'all updated, i guess

 

[xmoongirlx]

I liked the book idea too! And just so u know i'm also going from a normal to a LDR! I believe it would make our relationship better or end it for good!

But me and my BF believe we could make it work =)

 

[xmoongirlx]

I liked the book idea too! And just so u know i'm also going from a normal to a LDR! I believe it would make our relationship better or end it for good!

But me and my BF believe we could make it work =)

 

[xmoongirlx]

I liked the book idea too! And just so u know i'm also going from a normal to a LDR! I believe it would make our relationship better or end it for good!

But me and my BF believe we could make it work =) Good luck 2 u

 

[katluver3781]

Make sure to talk to her EVERY day, and stress how much you miss her. You might think she knows, but she needs to constantly be reminded.

Make a visiting schedule... Eventually, you will become used to seeing her every month or so, and your emotions know this, so right around the time you're supposed to see her, you'll start to miss her more/get more stressed about the situation and stuff. Just make sure you keep it consistent, and it will ease the "missing" factor.

And what elle said above could really help in the romance, my boyfriend doesn't do that, but it would be nice

P.S., I'm in a not-quite long distance relationship, 1 3/4hr drive time, and we see each other once a week, but I have a friend who was in a 10hr drive time relationship for over a year and a half, and we both found that we had the same problems, only on a different time schedule and level (she saw her boyfriend once every 1-3 months.)

 

[Alizera]

I know this goes to say with any relationship but: if there are problems between you and her...make sure you hit them on the head. Don't push them aside just because you two are long distance now.

Also, don't put aside your life just to feel you need to be constantly visiting her. You both will be experiencing new things so don't miss out because you feel like you have to spend time with the other person.

Phone calls and webcams are great.

Good luck!

 

[FOG]

Just an update *counts* nearly five months later, everything's going great. we talk about 5-6 times a week and make visits about once every three or four weeks, which seems to be just about right. yeah, the distance can be painful, but it's worth it. thanks again for all the great advice everyone!

And of course, prayers are appreciated. Everything is going great right now, but I'm sure it's more likely to stay that way with God on our side

 

[AndrewK788]

Let me give a quick background.
My girlfriend of about two years is a grade ahead of me - this year she will be a freshman in college and I will still be a senior in high school. She's moving off about three hours of driving away. To make matters worse, I'm not planning on going to the same college as her, so in a year or so we'll be even farther away. We've decided that we're in this for the long haul and that we're going to make this work.. We've already planned to make day trip visits at least once a month during the school year and etc.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you who have been in a successful long distance relationship have any tips on how to make things a bit easier? I'm not really scared about the relationship going sour or ending, I'm just scared about the distance and the pain that could possibly come along with that. If you have any tips or unique things for long distance relationships, that would help ease my mind a little bit.

Thanks!

My girlfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship now for 2 1/2 years. We're doing great and soon will even be engaged. For us though, it was always long distance so we never had to try to adjust from being close to being separated. But don't let anyone tell you distance doesn't work because it can.

My advice is just make sure you communicate. Obviously that's always important in a relationship, but now that there is distance, it's important to use different means of communication. Phone calls are the easiest, but if schedules conflict frequent e-mailing can work too. And still try to see each other as often as possible, though I realize that's easier said than done.

 

[Starting again]

Why don't you PRAY about it.
Let her go, let her grow up, grow up yourself (don't mean you need to) and trust that if it's meant to be God will bring you back together.
By all means keep your friendship going.
But if it's to end don't hold on, because sometime you need to let people go to grow up, and then they come back better than before.
Please, I really don't mean you to be offended by this.
God Bless.
it's just my thoughts you may throw them out if you don't like what I said, but please at least think about it.

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

We had three real months together, and we've now been long distance for 4 years.
We see each other once a year for about a week. We talk nearly every day for about an hour.

The first year and a half was the toughest for us.