going crazy right now *sigh*

[fragmentsofbeauty]

Its been almost 3 weeks since I last cut and I'm happy about that but it feels like the longer I wait, the more I wanna do it almost though some days I'm alright, and resisiting is getting a little easier I just find myself wishing for the comfort of physical pain again. I know its not really pain that I want, I want someone to hug me and tell me its gonna be ok but somehow I tricked my mind into believing that this is a good substitute, don't ask me how. I don't know what I"m trying to say on here except it hurts so bad I don't know what else to do to make it feel better but I can't let myself do it so that means I'm going to have to keep feeling the pain, with nothing to numb it, i'm so scared, someone help me, I don't know how much of this I can take. Why does it have to be so hard even with God on our side? I guess I could just use the comfort of knowing people are there and care, and prayer never hurts either

 

[HolyOne87]

Aw, im sorry to hear you are going through this.
sometimes talking about this pain helps..it relieves some of the pain because you have others there helping you through it.
If you ever want to talk, I am here for you..as well as many others on this forum

You Will Be Okay FragmentsofBeauty

Always remember, we are all in this together.

 

[berry2000]

(((((Fragments)))))
I can totally relate. I have been in those exact shoes. Needing mostly a hug and a shoulder to cry on but somehow find SI to ease the pain instead. Good news is that it does get easier. I am now free from self harm for 6 months. So I'm new enough to life without it that I can easily remember the spot you are in and yet far enough from it that I can say press on because it gets easier! I still struggle but not as intensely and I win the fight almost every time lately. REmember you are God's chose holy and precious child whom doesn't deserve the pain you cause yourself. There are other ways to work through the pain. God never meant for self harm to be a friend to us. He has better plans for our lives!

Sending you a prayer and a hug.

 

[meh]

Its been almost 3 weeks since I last cut and I'm happy about that but it feels like the longer I wait, the more I wanna do it almost though some days I'm alright, and resisiting is getting a little easier I just find myself wishing for the comfort of physical pain again. I know its not really pain that I want, I want someone to hug me and tell me its gonna be ok but somehow I tricked my mind into believing that this is a good substitute, don't ask me how. I don't know what I"m trying to say on here except it hurts so bad I don't know what else to do to make it feel better but I can't let myself do it so that means I'm going to have to keep feeling the pain, with nothing to numb it, i'm so scared, someone help me, I don't know how much of this I can take. Why does it have to be so hard even with God on our side? I guess I could just use the comfort of knowing people are there and care, and prayer never hurts either

I wish I could give you that hug in person. I think it's so excellent how you recognized the feelings behind the desire to cut and really got in there deeply to figure out what it is you really want. That is so great. I hope that makes sense..not sure I'm getting that out like I want it to sound.

We are here and we do care. God be with you and comfort you.

 

[UnitynLove]

I am praying for you my sister!

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

I know just what you mean...the way I put it in my journal was that I couldn't get a hug, so I let the pain wrap it's arms around me instead. It sounds silly, but one of the things that helped me a lot sometimes was hugging a pillow or a teddy bear. I had a particular teddy bear that I let myself get attatched to that would "protect" me from cutting. I know it's silly, but I just needed that affection so bad that it helped.

 

[oneandlonely]

that makes complete sense to me. Like Hannah said sometime hugging a teady bear helps

 

[Eire_Frae]

hey,
well done for going three weeks thats really good cos its so hard i know, what you wrote was exactly how iv felt lots of times. It sometimes feels like there is no point trying to stop when its just so hard, the temptations for me never seem to leave me but the longer i dont the easier it is not to even when the desire is so strong. I pray God will give you the strength you need each day cos its just so hard sometimes. I guess aswell for me getting used to not having any cuts was strange i felt like i was misssing something cos they had been part of me for so long. It felt like the days id forget my watch your arm looks different and you expect it to be there when you look. Dunno if you feel that way to but hope your still doing well and know im so impressed that you have not done it in 3 weeks