going backwards...

[JesusIsMyTicket]

I get so upset with myself at times like this. I go months without self harming and then everything hits me like a ton of bricks. I end up relapsing. consistently relapse for weeks on end before managing to stop again. My normal coping mechanisms feel undoable because of my headspace. I often feel ashamed and despair when thinking of God in times like this. He'd be ashamed of my actions. I sometimes just feel like I don't know what to do. I do struggle with diagnosed depression and anxiety so it may just be something I always deal with when things get bad...I don't know anymore...

 

[Newsgurl]

I would recommend try to do something else that doesn't involve hurting yourself such as put an ice cube over your wrist or write out what your feeling. Sometimes when I get this upset I just take deep breaths and pray. I don't want to relapse again. I myself used to self harm since I was 11 and it's like an addiction once it starts. I know you can get through this just put your faith in God. He knows the future for you, and it's a bright future.

 

[Justasimplea]

The lord knows you more than you know yourself. I'm sure he knows what and why. Don't feel bad the lord just wants you to be okay. He loves you and understands. It doesn't define you or your relationship with god

 

[little1]

I get so upset with myself at times like this. I go months without self harming and then everything hits me like a ton of bricks. I end up relapsing. consistently relapse for weeks on end before managing to stop again. My normal coping mechanisms feel undoable because of my headspace. I often feel ashamed and despair when thinking of God in times like this. He'd be ashamed of my actions. I sometimes just feel like I don't know what to do. I do struggle with diagnosed depression and anxiety so it may just be something I always deal with when things get bad...I don't know anymore...

Firstly I am sorry for your pain and struggles in life. unfortunately life is extremely difficult for some especially if you are battling chemical imbalances and trauma.
Always remember God isn't shocked when you fall. He does know everything and He knows you more then you know yourself. God is close to the broken hearted and a bruised reed he will not break. There really is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

With the behaviour of self harm that's the cycle I experience also so be a wear that its defiantly always going to come back and be a major temptation for you.
Remember, It is working in some way. That's why we do it right. Yes, there is shame and guilt but it really does work as emotional pain relief at the time.

You are God's child and He loves you so much. It breaks His heart that you are in that level of pain in the first place.
Self harm is a symptom of the torment you are going through. Trust me God is much more interested in loving you and comforting you then being ashamed at your hopeless coping skills.

Some people over eat, shop lift, drink, work to much, inappropriate content etc. Your behaviour is self harm.

its the band aid you are putting over a big wound. God knows this and He is good.

Try to go to him when you self harm or even just before. Give him 5 min to help you. I actually write in a prayer journal sometimes instead of cutting or sometimes even if I did. Stay with God. Stay close to him. let him in all the areas of your life. I found this gave me slightly more vitory in times.

I know they pain is hard to manage.
always get up though always go back to Him
He loves you so so so much

 

[teresa]

I am in recovery from self-injury and would like to offer my ear and shoulder as well as any advice if wanted....

I wish you peace

 

[Celticroots]

I don't have a ton to say other than what's already been said. I empathize with going a long time without harming, then feeling like all your healthy coping mechanisms aren't doable, and starting up again. I am self-harming again too.