Godly marriage

[Katydid]

I have been troubled by all the troubled marriages on here, so I thought perhaps to uplift people and to show what a Godly marriage is about (there are many definitions and no one is absolutely correct) that we should start a post about them. So if you don't mind, I am going to pose some questions and we can see what people believe and live out in their Godly marriages. If you are having problems perhaps this will give you some insight as to how to deal with them.

1. How long did you date before getting married?

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying?

3. How often do you fight?

4. How do you resolve disagreements?

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles?

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children?

7. How do you discuss finances?

8. What is your definition of submission?

9 What is your definition of head of the household?

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W?

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities?


I can't think of any more right now, but if you have more, then please, ask and answer the question. I will post my answers later so as to not set a specific tone or expectation on the thread.

 

[LynnMcG]

1. How long did you date before getting married? 4 years

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? yes We are blessed in that we are completely in line with our values, goals, and dreams.

3. How often do you fight? just now... just kidding! We don't really fight anymore. We have disagreements. But even then, when we explain ourselves we always reach an understanding or agreement.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? We talk. When this does happen it's often a misunderstanding or miscommunication.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? Yes, we believe in headship and submission in marriage.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? In our house, disgreements in raising children almost ALWAYS occur when one parent is completely fried from dealing with the kids. Once everyone calms down we can see more clearly and then reach an agreement.

7. How do you discuss finances? I say, Babe, we have no money... just kidding again. I handle finances in our house. Not typical for a Christian family, but it was my husband's decision. We were both really awful with finances, me just a little less. But it seems as though the Lord has really blessed my financial abilities to bless my husband and my family. I joke that my husband doesn't even know how much money we have, but he has complete access to everything - whenever he wants. He just trusts that I'm handling it. If I need help, I ask him for help and he's there.

8. What is your definition of submission? I submit to my husband, allowing him to make decisions and maintain control of most areas of our household. does that make sense?

9 What is your definition of head of the household? My husband is the head of the household. He always keeps OUR best interest at heart when making decisions. And again, this has never been a problem in 10 years because we share the same values, goals, and dreams.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? I am a SAHM. My husband stayed home one winter with our daughter and vowed to never do it again.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? Whatever needs to be done, needs to be done. There are no egos when it comes to household responsibilities. If I can't get it done or need help, he helps - usually without me even having to ask.

 

[heartnsoul]

Katy, your intention in this thread is excellent. However, every marriage is unique and different. Some of the questions (like finance and how to resolve arguments) will vary from couple to couple. Like you said, there is no "one" answer to the questions. I think (if I may speak in general terms) the main objective here is to give guidance in a general sense that:

Bottom Line: In a *godly" marriage, the two I's become WE. Marriage is a privilege and one of the high callings of God. God's expectations is that both spouses honor one another and live a holy, godly life that is pleasing to Him and one that brings glory to His name. Therefore, decisions and behaviors need to be centered on God and sometimes sacrifices or compromises need to be made with the goal to keep the marriage alive and healthy. God must be first in the hearts of both partners and the security needs to come from Him only. Just like a fine wine, a godly marriage gets better with time when both partners are continually growing in their walk with God. Spiritual maturity leads to peace, joy and a deeper love for God and others.

 

[Katydid]

The only reason I placed questions is so that it would be easier to see where the marriages differ and still glorify God, but I love your response.

 

[snoochface]

1. How long did you date before getting married?

Ours was an unusual situation. We dated for only 6 months before we were married, but we moved our wedding date up a few months because my dad was dying from colon cancer and I really wanted him at my wedding. If we had gone with our original wedding date, it would have been 9 months, but even that was fast - we didn't know how long my dad would last.

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying?

Yes, absolutely. My husband was "fixed" after his two kids from a prior marriage, but he knew I would like the option to have a child if I wanted one, and he was willing to do so. If he had been adamantly against having children, I don't think I would have married him (although I've since decided against it).

We discussed many issues pertaining to our beliefs, our outlook on life, our values, morals, things of importance to us, etc. We felt it was necessary to make sure all those things were addressed before we got married, so there wouldn't be any surprises later. Being good friends made it easy for a lot of these types of things to be discussed just in general conversation, so it wasn't awkward or anything.

3. How often do you fight?

We rarely fight-fight - more often we have disagreements. We argue/bicker sometimes, probably a couple times a week, but it lasts for all of 5 minutes and we're back to our normal lovey-dovey selves.

4. How do you resolve disagreements?

We both try to stay calm and contain our anger (easier for him, I have a harder time with it but I try and I'm getting better). We definitely make an effort to stay on topic, we don't go off on tangents that are outside of the issue at hand, and we don't bring up a bunch of stuff from the past. We always make sure the issue is resolved to both our satisfaction, so neither of us harbor any resentments that may come back to haunt us. We are respectful of each other, we never deteriorate into juvenile name-calling, and neither of us try to dominate the situation. We won't stop talking until things are resolved, though, and we both apologize for hurting the other because no matter who started things or who is as fault, we both got hurt and we don't want that for each other. Above all, we never ever go to bed angry or with things unresolved.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles?

We both have equal input to whatever situation comes up. Generally, we use a scoring system. For example, if we disagree on an issue, and on a scale of 1 to 10 the issue is a 9 for me, but a 3 for him, I win. Vice versa, of course. But, if we care equally about an issue but are on different sides, I believe in submitting to him as the head of the household, most especially on family or spiritual issues.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children?

This doesn't really apply to us, as we have no kids together and his two girls are grown. We disagree on the dog sometimes, but I usually win those

7. How do you discuss finances?

We sit down and talk about stuff. Can we afford X? Where is it on the scale of priorities and goals we have set as far as retirement funds, savings, etc.? Is it worth the money? We are okay financially so this generally isn't a big issue for us, but we both give our input and we are both involved in all financial decisions. One of us never goes out and spends a bunch of money without discussing it with the other first.

8. What is your definition of submission?

Well, it's not being his doormat. It's a mutually respectful thing. I find it easy to submit to my husband because he always treats me with love and respect and I know he has my best interests at heart. I trust that he is going to take care of me and never hurt me, so I can trust submitting to him. I guess my definition would be acquiescing to my husband's decision after giving my input and knowing he has carefully considered my side of things.

9 What is your definition of head of the household?

The spiritual leader, the provider, the one who ultimately has the final say. I consider my husband the head of the household.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W?

I stay at home for now, but that won't be a permanent situation. I finished school last summer, and other circumstances have made me not working for now the best decision for the time being. I expect to be working again sometime this year.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities?

He has his chores, I have mine, and the rest we share. For example, he takes out the trash and, in general, cleans up the kitchen, dishes, etc. He used to be the cook, but since his work schedule has gotten crazy, I've taken over that responsibility. Whichever of us has the time, need, or desire does the laundry. That's how we split up most things, actually.

Sorry my responses were so... verbose!

 

[LiberatedChick]

1. How long did you date before getting married? 4.5 years

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? Yes, we discussed many things before marriage including these.

3. How often do you fight? Never. There are some occasions when we disagree but we don't actually raise voices and fight about them. We don't see the point in that.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? By talking them through.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? Yes, I believe in headship/submission.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? We don't currently have any children but I'd imagine it wouldn't differ too much from the current way we deal with disagreements.

7. How do you discuss finances? By sharing our information and opinions on such matters and then coming to a suitable course of action if any is required.

8. What is your definition of submission? The husband and wife are a team but teams need leaders. The leadership role is the role the husband fulfills. It doesn't make him any better than his wife and he still has to listen to her feelings and opinions and take these into account. I submit to my husbands decisions knowing that he has taken my views into account and that he is guiding us in the best way possible.

9 What is your definition of head of the household? The leader of the team, who guides the team in the right directions.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? Currently we both work. When we have children (in approx two years we hope unless God decides to bless us sooner) I'll be a SAHM.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? I do much of the cleaning. My husband cooks dinner each night, picks up after himself (though sometimes he forgets) and often helps me with hanging out the washing. I wash up, clean the bathroom, hoover and generally keep everything tidy. I wouldn't say it's split 50:50...maybe more 70:30 or at times 80:20 (with my contribution being the highest amount) but that's the way it works best for us and I like keeping the house clean for hubby and me.

 

[andiesmama]

1. How long did you date before getting married?

We dated for 4 months & got engaged, and got married 15 months after we got engaged.

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying?

Yes, it was a requirement to have pre-marital classes with our pastor who was marrying us.

3. How often do you fight?

Hardly ever.

4. How do you resolve disagreements?

We argue about it, then we both usually go off by ourselves, even sleep on it, and then come back to resolve it later or the next day. I find that way we don't say things we might regret later.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles?

Well, I think marriage is most definitely sharing-based. That said, my husband is still the head of the household and I do submit to him insofar as the final decisions on things. This after it being discussed by the both of us, and he knows my point of view, he'll still have the final say.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children?

We have the same views on raising Andie. However, this is one area where he bows to my, ahem, authority! lol Since I'm home with her all day, he knows that I'm mor attuned to her needs, mannerisms, etc., so if there's a questions he'll send it in my direction.

7. How do you discuss finances?

I'm in charge of the finances. My husband gets money each week to spend, if he's going to do anything extra, he always asks me if we have enough for him to do it. Also, we always discuss together any major purchases. He's always said that he'd probably have a heart attack if he had to do our budget & bills for a month, that's why he wants to be "happily oblivious"! lol

8. What is your definition of submission?

Allowing my husband to be the final say in matters of the household.

9 What is your definition of head of the household?

The man of the house. I'm pretty traditional and conservative in that I think the man of the house should be the "bread winner" and the wife should be in charge of taking care of the home & children. Yes, I know that in some cases this can't be the case, but in general, that's my feeling.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W?

We both work, but my husband works outside the home, and my job is to be a SAHMom & Wife.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities?

My job consists of taking care of Andie & taking care of the house in general. Ty works outside the home and also is responsible for the repairs around the house, garbage, stuff like that.

 

[WolfGate]

1. How long did you date before getting married? 4 years

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? No, we were young when we met - she was a teenager. Didn't have enough wisdom to do that.

3. How often do you fight? Fight - never. Disagree about an issue to the point one of us gets frustrated or irritated - maybe once every month or two. Disagree initially about something and have to discuss or otherwise resolve - regularly.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? We've both learned the skill of listening and learned the value of understanding the other's point of view. Usually we'll both state our position and the reasons why we think or feel that way. Since both of us are trying to serve the other, we usually find common ground pretty quickly. We haven't gotten to this point in 16 years of marriage, but we do both acknowledge that if we reach an impasse on a significant issue after much discussion and prayer, that I would, as head of the household, make the decision. I hope to never be in that position.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? I believe literally in the model set forth in Eph.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? Same as 4, with the exception that if one parent has told the children something, the other never "over-rules" and makes changes. We would discuss how to deal with the same situation next time and reach a plan that way.

7. How do you discuss finances? Everything is budgeted on the computer. We set a budget at the beginning of the year. I print out our progress every week. Both of us are free to spend within the categories for non-major items without consulting the other as long as we stay within the budget. Major expeditures fall into answer 4 above.

8. What is your definition of submission? Serving your spouse before yourself.

9 What is your definition of head of the household? The one with the ultimate responsibility to assure that the other family members are loved, growing spiritually, and properly cared for. The one with the ultimate responsibility to make sure the direction and decisions of the family are within the boundaries of a life in service to Christ.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? Both of us work full time.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? We split responsibilities. It evolved over time. In the end, I do more than she does, but that is because I have more overall energy and need for less sleep. It just makes sense that way.

 

[brokenbananas]

1. How long did you date before getting married? 1.5 yrs

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? yes and we also did pre-marital counseling

3. How often do you fight? not often, though we do periodically have disagreements; we believe in being respectful to each other and discussing things...working things out.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? we talk things out, share feelings/thoughts, see what God has to say....if we are at a true impass, we may bring in some godly counsel

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? We believe the husband is the head of the household. I've had to greatly learn to submit because I'm the oldest of five children and I'm a born leader. I am the only woman that has ever filled the position I have at my company and it is rare that a woman will have the job I have. I am used to leading men in highly technical jobs/teams.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? We talk things out, but if we are at a total disagree (rare), I will submit to my husband's wishes.

7. How do you discuss finances? We talk like we would anything else. Usually one of us has the voice of reason. I am in charge of managing our finances and like one of the other people, my husband has access to everything, though I manage our household finances. He manages the majority of our stock trading accounts though. I only manage a couple of them.

8. What is your definition of submission? Submission means to give up your rights willingly and joyfully. God has greatly worked on this area of my life over the past 2 yrs. He is such an awesome God. As I see my husband role model submitting to Christ, it is much easier for me to submit. But, Christ does not call me just to submit if my husband submits; He has called to submit to my husband.

9 What is your definition of head of the household? The leader of the household.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? My husband works from home and stays home with our son. I work outside the home. My husband does freelance work as well as stock trading from home. It is our goal and desire to have both of us be able to work from home permanently. My husband staying home for the past 2 yrs has worked out well for us. Though I wish it was me, I've seen how God has worked in each of our characters, molding us to be more like Him.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? We hire people to help us do the bigger things like cleaning our home and all the yard work. However, the day-to-day things, it's whoever has the time, sees the need to get things done. We're really good at this and no one feels overburdened. We do things without complaining and often come in to assist the other person when we see they are doing some household work. We make a great team.

 

[Mirelys]

1. How long did you date before getting married? Ten months.

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? Yes.

3. How often do you fight? We disagree quite a bit still, though it's rare that we actually fight.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? We talk it over from every possible angle, and then we make a decision. If we can't decide, then my husband makes the final decision....though that's only happened once so far.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? We definately believe in headship and submission.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? It's all still theoretical yet, but for the most part we agree. I hope we'll be as reasonable when it's a practical consideration!

7. How do you discuss finances? He's in charge of finances, though I help him if he needs it (he's not really used to taking care of money). We each have a certain amount to spend on whatever we choose; outside of that, we discuss where every cent goes.

8. What is your definition of submission? Allowing my husband to be the leader, without abdicating my responsibilities as his help-mate.

9. What is your definition of head of the household? My husband

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? My husband is in the military, and I am a student. I'm considering correspondence courses so that I can stay home and we can have more time together.
When we have children I will be a SAHM.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? When we were both going to school, he did most of the house work because I had a much heavier course load.
Now I can't kick him out of my kitchen. Any tips for a wife who loves to cook, but never gets the chance?!

 

[EmSchmem]

1. How long did you date before getting married? One Year and were engaged a little less than 3 months

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? Yes. He talked me out of enoguh kids to field a baseball team. We talked about how we don't have JOBS in marriage we have roles.

3. How often do you fight? WAY too much. Usually about dumb things and we manage to actually discuss the real issues. We are still learning to communicate and frankly we're just not that great at it yet.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? Mostly all the wrong ways at first. Silent treatments and bickering and sarcasm until we get through that and start really discussing things. We usually come around eventually.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? Definately believe in headship and submission but we are both learning those roles.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? We're trying to get that hammered out now before the baby is here.

7. How do you discuss finances? He's in charge ultimately becuae oterhwise we'd be in the poor )well poorer) house but we discuss any purchase or problem that comes up above and beyond what we get for our allowance.

8. What is your definition of submission? I'll let you know when I figure it out.

9 What is your definition of head of the household? One who is spiritually therefore sacreficially leading the marriage

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? Right now we both work but we're praying that he can find a job where he can provide for our whole family.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? AS long as he still does dishes and I'm not doing EVERYTHING I don't really care.

 

[Green Orchid]

9 What is your definition of head of the household? One who is spiritually therefore sacreficially leading the marriage

Wow, that is a great answer!

 

[Katydid]

OK, I'll answer my own questions now, hubby doesn't want to do it for me, he says that he will end up just giving "yes", "no", answers, so it is up to me.



1. How long did you date before getting married? 3 months

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? Yes, it was a busy and talkative 3 months

3. How often do you fight? Well, we have spats every few days that only last about 30 seconds

4. How do you resolve disagreements? We talk ALOT!!! We talk some more, and some more, I think we just lecture each other until one of us gets tired and agrees Just kidding, we just talk it out and neither of us likes conflict so we usually keep at it until we agree. We actively listen to each other, and repeat until we know that we understand each other. Then we bring it up for a few more days to make sure we are still on the same page.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? headship, submission

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? Our rule is never in front of the children. We take it outside or wait till after bedtime. We support each other in front of the kids and talk about it later that day.

7. How do you discuss finances? What finances OK well, I manage the finances, kinda, I mean, I do the best I can with what we have. We discuss major purchases or any use of credit as we are now working our way out of debt. But final decisions are left to him.

8. What is your definition of submission? It means I respect what my husband does, I support him as head of the household, I support him as spiritual leader, I discuss things with him and support his decisions.

9 What is your definition of head of the household? The one with the hard job. Actually, the one who is spiritually, physically and emotionally in charge of the home.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? I am a SAHM and by the way, Andiesmama you got me on that one, sorry, maybe I should have stated it better.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? Because I stay at home, his only responsibility around the house is Mr. fixit and trash guy. But, he helps out because he wants to alot.

 

[Green Orchid]

1. How long did you date before getting married?
2 years

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying?
We talked about every imaginable thing, and agreed!

3. How often do you fight?
Around my PMS, I get moody which causes disagreements! We haven't had a big fight for a really long time, praise God.

4. How do you resolve disagreements?
Still figuring some of that out actually! A huge help has been a relationship class at my church that talks about the differences between men and women and how God intends us to deal with them.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles?
Yes, we believe in headship and submission.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children?
We don't have any yet. Do cats count? lol

7. How do you discuss finances?
I do all the budgeting and we talk about every spending we make. We don't have individual spending money, everything is together.

8. What is your definition of submission?
Receiving from my husband as he initiates the life of Christ in me.

9. What is your definition of head of the household?
What Emschem said!

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W?
He goes to school ft and works pt. I work ft. We are also very involved in church activities (almost like another pt job!) When we will have kids, I will be a SAHM.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities?
I do everything in the house. I don't mind, although I can't wait to be able to cut down my work hours to be able to do more in the house. I like the whole "housewife" thing! And dh has a very grateful attitude about everything, so it makes it even nicer!

 

[revrobor]

1. How long did you date before getting married? One month.

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? Yes.

3. How often do you fight? Haven't had an arguement in at least 10 years.

4. How do you resolve disagreements? Discussion and compromise.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? Husband is head. Responsibilities are shared.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? We had none. Children now grown.

7. How do you discuss finances? Wife manages finances, discusses decisions with husband.

8. What is your definition of submission? Realization that God has appointed husband to be head, under Christ, of family.

9 What is your definition of head of the household? The one who is ultimately responsible to God to be the spiritual and practical leader of the family and carries the responsibility for all decisions regardless of who makes them.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? Both work.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? Either do any chores as needed.

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

Well, I think we dated for over a year before we married.

I do not think we discussed future expectations for children too much beforehand. I think I agreed that we would go with his idea of not having any. We have 3 now though.

We do disagree sometimes, if my hormones are out of wack, but we rarely get into an actual fight. My hormones would have to be really out of wack for a big fight, or I would have to be really over tired or something.

To resolve a disagreement, my husband decides what we are going to do and says that is the end of it. He is the head of the house.

Husband is definately in charge and calls the shots. He helps me and I help him, but we do have are set responsibilities.

Husband has final say in raising kids, but we think pretty much alike in how to raise them.

Husband is in charge of any major spending, but will bring up subject and let me know what he is thinking about buying. I try to be supportive. He is extremely very responsible with money

My definition of submission is that you think of your husband as representing Christ and like being a king or master, but I have trouble to always do this and fail often. When I get it right it is so rewarding. It is great.

My definition of the head of the household would be someone being a boss and I am the manager under the boss. Works out real nicely.

I stay at home, and my husband works.

 

[YahwehLove]

1. How long did you date before getting married? We've been ''together'' on the internet and in person for a total of a little more than a year and a half.
I enjoy having met her on the web and only being able to talk as we really got to know the 'person'' really well, before all the physical attraction stuff came into play.
she is my best friend in the world and honestly, no offense girls, she is the absolute best woman Ive ever met and Id daresay in the world.
We're planning on having the state ''let'' us marry shortly.

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying?
Neither of us want children at this point....its open for discusion later.
Im good either way, so if she doesnt want them or does, its all good.

3. How often do you fight? never

4. How do you resolve disagreements?
first off we are friends first.....sometimes its best to set the relationship aside and approach the issue as a friend would.
Probably hard to do for many, but weve found it to be a great method.
If we do have an issue, we turn on the ''friend mode'' and in that mode nothing is to be held back and we resolve it before returning to 'couple mode''.
LIke she may ask me about something concerning herself. The answer is going to be something that might not be taken well.
So I let her know this is her friend talking to her, not as her fiancee.
That way I can be honest and blunt and we can get thru it as friends.
So far, so good. we both seem to enjoy the arrangement.
Its been hard a few times as she has said some things that were kind of hurtful, but I keep in mind she is talking as a friend and not to intentionally hurt me......we've talked it out every single time and afterwards we have grown even closer becuase we know that if the other can speak freely about hurtful things, then most likely they are being totally honest.

I cannot stress enough the importance of feeling the trust in someone who you KNOW is being 100% upfront with you on every level.
I had no idea this type of relationship was even possible.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles?
I believe that the husband is the spiritual leader of the home....well, supposed to be......sometimes the wife has to assume the role as the husband isnt quite caapble of doing it himself.
On matters of marriage tho, I believe it is a 50/50 partnership and nothing should be done against your spouses wishes.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? n/a

7. How do you discuss finances?
Well, Im used to handling the money in the past, but I talked her into taking an accounting class in college...so I think we can handle this 50/50
Im very blessed in that she is the very first woman Ive known who is as big a pennypincher as I am.
She is very wise and very conservative with money.
We do talk about budgeting for when we marry and have our own place.



8. What is your definition of submission?
hmmm
Id say caring and loving the other enough to understand their needs and desires and be willing enough to help them out with them.
submission is just that, a personal decision to offer yourself (if thats what youre refering to) to the person you love.
Its hard to willingly offer yourself to a jerk (no offense to anyone)

9 What is your definition of head of the household?
The man who leads in a godly manner.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W?
it will be 2 income most likely until I have rebuilt the business I sold after becoming disabled.
At the point were it is bringing in sufficient income, then Id like for her to return to college or possibly open her own bookstore (she loves books)
Its up to her tho......Im standing by her no matter what.
She can be a housewife if she so chooses

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities?
I guess wed just chip in and do whatever needs done.
We're not looking at any children so its not like theres going to be kids to clean up after or anything.

 

[Cordy]

1. We dated for nine months, and were engaged for five.

2. Oh yeah, we talked about responsibilities before we married!

3. I can only remember fighting once when we were dating. We have little “tiff’s” a couple times a year, but they last a mere few minutes and don’t involve anger. If we are angry, we leave the room until we are both ready to approach things respectfully.

4. We resolve disagreements by talking it out. We come to an understanding that makes us both happy.

5. We honestly don’t know what we think about the “head” issue. But we think that even if it does mean “authority”, in practice that comes down to servanthood. So either way, we believe in mutual submission. It is all through the Bible for believers to have such an attitude and it is wonderful in marriage.

6. We don’t have kids yet.

7. What finances? We are poor students! But, I do the budgeting and my husband does the investing.

8. Submission is putting the other person before yourself.

9 I don’t know what "head" means. If it means “authority” (which is rare for the Greek word used in the Bible), it means servant leadership – the husband putting the wife above himself. If “head” means “source” or “origin” (which the world is usually interpreted as), it is referring to creation, not authority in the home.

10. I usually work, but I am just studying right now.

11. Neither of us work right now, but we are both out of the home because of school, and when we are home we are studying. How we divide the responsibilities? I cook (I love cooking!), and my husband cleans everything in the kitchen (he loves cleaning and organizing). The rest of our small apartment is divided into zones that we are responsible for.

 

[bliz]

1. How long did you date before getting married?

We knew each other for 6 years before we married; dated for almost 2.

2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying?

Often. But we have both changed our minds on lot on these matters.

3. How often do you fight?

I'd have to say we've had one fight in 28 years. We have disagreements, but only once did things become a fight, and that was early in the marriage.

4. How do you resolve disagreements?

Prayer. Talking. Defering to the more knowledgable or involved.

5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles?

I believe that God is the head of the marriage and that the Bible teaches mutual submission between husband and wife.

6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children?

Prayer. Talking. Defering to the more knowledgable or involved parent. When I was home with the kids all day, my view carried more weight since I'd be the one making things happen.

7. How do you discuss finances?

Usually at the diningroom table, calmly. We each have our own checking and savings and have divided who pays what. We know what's going on with each other's accounts - all the money is OUR money.

8. What is your definition of submission?

Defering to the other in love.

9 What is your definition of head of the household?

God. God is the head of our household.

10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W?

I have always worked - when I did not have a job, I worked a lot at home with young children. I have also worked part-time from my home, part-time out of the house, full time and fulltime with travel. My husband has always worked out of the home.

11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities?

I do all the cooking - but he reheats real well! The rest, we each do as needed and other than carpentry (which he does) and gardening (which I do) we can both do what needs to be done. The kids also take care of some household responsibilities.

 

[gracefaith]

1. How long did you date before getting married?2 years as best friends, 2 years of dating (including a year long engagement)


2. Did you discuss your future expectations for responsibilities and children before marrying? Not as an official conversation, but we've always talking about our hopes and dreams for our future


3. How often do you fight? We annoy one another occasionally, but we never really fight.


4. How do you resolve disagreements? This is the thing that I think makes my marriage: When we come to an impase that could get heated, I find myself thinking, "I can compromise or I can let this be a wedge between me and the man I love." Given those options, I'll compromise without hesitation. Fortunately, my husband is the same way and two people willing to compromise at all costs, can get over anything.


5. Do you believe in a headship, submission marriage, or do both parties share these roles? We don't adhere to it under those terms really but we acknowledge any good team needs a chain of command.


6. How do you deal with disagreements in raising children? No children yet!


7. How do you discuss finances? We both are not so disciplined with money. We took turns being the one "in charge" of the finances, but after miserable failures realized that it was never going to work until we both took responsibility for our finances.


8. What is your definition of submission? Occasionally letting my husband have his way even when I think he's being stupid because being mad is hardly ever worth it and never pleasant.


9 What is your definition of head of the household? Chief spokesman, Defender and deciding vote in the event of an impase or tie.


10. Do you both work or is one a SAHM/W? We both work, but I have spent brief stints (2-3 months at a time) as a SAHW.


11. If you both work, how do you split household responsibilities? I do a majority of the housework but he does pitch in enough to keep me from feeling over burdened. When I'm home full time, I do all of it because I figure it's only fair.