God Why Won't You Bless ME!

[TexasGirl]

I have been a Christian for 14 years now..I try to read the word, pray, and live a Christian life..I feel God's is there for me..I have been throught alot and I feel that I am just being punched and punched again with the hard knocks of life. I know with the snap of his fingers God could change my life for me..Why doesnt' He? I feel that I only have bad things happen too me..11 Years ago my first husband cheated on me, ran off with a topless dancer, and abadonded me and our 2 girls. He divorced me. A couple of years later I remarried and I thought God was giving me a second chance and a new life..But we became pregnant and felt blessed only for the baby to die after 26 hours of birth, the following year we got pregnant again..the baby was born 6 weeks early weight 5 lbs, he had open heart surgery at 1 1/2 years old and has mild medical problems now, we had a healthy son after him..Now we have been forclosed on and we are loosing our home..I can not take anymore..What is God trying to teach me? Why is it seem that God is not helping me..I am loosing all faith and I am scared because all of the bad stuff that is happening I will resent God and turn away from Christianity..How can I get God to bless me and my family and turn my life around..I go to church every Sat and I have been praying for a change for years. Can someone give me some insight..What did I do to God to not have favor?

TexasGirl

 

[strengthinweakness]

TexasGirl,

I am so sorry for your losses. I have lost family members and friends suddenly and unexpectedly, but I don't have children and can't imagine how much it must hurt to lose them. I am so sorry. Your pain will not be fully healed until Heaven, but I do pray that God ministers to that pain and brings His peace into your life in a way that surpasses understanding.

I am sorry for your financial situation too. I will be honest-- sometimes, down here on Earth, it simply is very hard (if not impossible) to always know what God is up to in our lives. We can know one thing for certain though-- He is on our side. He is not against us, no matter confusing or maddening the circumstances of our lives may be. I'm not saying these things lightly either. I have been through more tragedy and trauma than I can almost stand to think about, and I'm still not sure exactly what was God was always doing in the midst of it (other than helping me to stay alive and not lose my mind-- which, actually, is quite a lot!). However, I do know that He was with me in those times-- just as He is with you now. He loves you and cares for you. The biggest proof of His love is that He has already taken care of your (and my, and everyone's) deepest problem-- sin. Sin is worse than cancer or bankruptcy or any other scourge that this life holds. In saving us from the ultimate consequences of sin (which would be an eternity without Him, in utter despair), God actually lost a child Himself. He gave up His only child, His son, to save us from our own hard-hearted rebellion. What a gift, what an expression of perfect love!

Please understand-- I am not saying any of this to minimize your current pain and struggles. I know how strong the desire for tangible blessings in this life can be (whether the blessing is a marriage, a child, financial security, a long life for a loved one, personal health, etc.), and I know how much it hurts when those blessings aren't granted to us (at least not when we want them to be). My heart utterly aches for your losses and trials. It just aches. God is not happy about about your first husband's sin and how much it hurt you. From what I know of God from His word, I believe that He is grieved and angry about your ex's sin. God hates sin, even more than we do. However, in order for true love to be possible in this world, we must have free will-- and with free will comes the choice to do good or evil. Your first husband made the wrong choice and sinned, and that was terribly painful and tragic for you. However, your second husband has made the right choice, the choice to love and honour you. However, if order for any of us to make the right choices, we also have to have the option of making the wrong, hurtful choices. It's hard, and I'll admit that I'm not always happy (to say the least) with how our God-given free will works out down here on Earth. Do I have a better set-up though? Nope... because God is God, and I'm not. God has brought you some wonderful blessings too-- a second husband and two sons. Life has pain, real pain (as you know all too well), but it also has beauty. We can't expect or demand beauty and blessings though, because we live in a fallen world that is stained by sin. The fact that there is any beauty in this world at all is a miracle in itself. So, I try to enjoy the blessings when they come... and let everything else lead me to a deeper longing for God and for eternity with Him. Easier said than done, though, especially when I am in the middle of that "everything else".... but the truth is, when it comes down to it, the ultimate point of this life is not being happy but being holy. Not that being happy is a bad thing, not at all-- but it is only one part of life, and it's not the ultimate point (at least not from a Bilblical perspective). I say this as a physically disabled man whose mother committed suicide when he was nine years old... I include those details just to say that I am not writing from a place of being cold to your suffering, or being unable to empathize with you. I am truly, truly sorry for what you have been through and for what you are going through now. These losses and pains can bring you into a deeper relationship with God though, if you will let them. That is my ultimate prayer for you, because it is only in a deeper relationship with Him that you will find your deepest peace through the trials and tribulations of life. I hope that you take my words here in a spirit of love and encouragement, for that is definitely how they are meant. God bless you and keep you, my sister in Christ.

Your brother in Christ,
Chris

 

[TexasGirl]

Chris how can I get a deeper relationship with God? I am a Christian..but maybe I do not know how to have a deeper relationship..I have been trying to read my Bible, Joural my feelings, and read a purpose driven life..One thing that you said that you lost your mom at 9 and how that effected you..My oldest son is now 9..the one that had heart surgery..and I thought may time that taken my life would be the easy way out..but when you talked about loosing your mom and everything made me know that, that is the way my son would feel later in life..That will never cross my mind again...I want a deeper realtionship with God but I am not sure how to get there again..I was there once..that is what helped me through my divorce..I want to find that again..

TexasGirl
AKA(Carla)

 

[desi]

TexasGirl, my wife is also a TexasGirl! Bad things happen to all of us, some more than others. You've been through a lot. When I look back on what I've been through I can see how it made me how I am now while at the time I 'didn't get it'. I try to trust in the Lord and do what I can from my end. Sometimes I feel close to God and other times I don't feel anything but I trust in him just the same. Things will get better for you eventually. I pray it is sooner rather than later. My aunt had a boy with a congenital heart defect and he died a week or so after birth. She never had another. God bless you and your family. My wife's adopted mother, her aunt, recently lost her house and had to move to the bad part of town with her loafer but loving husband as she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, can't work, and has less than 6 months to live. Despite precipitously losing weight she is in good spirits, maybe its the morphine, we'll visit her tomorrow. We all bear our crosses. Sometimes I think its not so much what we have to deal with but how we deal with it. Jesus said to follow him as his burden is light. When I think of this and all I've been through I shudder at how much more difficult trying times would be without him.

 

[Youth Minister]

It's safe to assume that there are multiple problems here..

In order for prayers to be answered,they must be very specifically worded and offered to God with both love and faith that they will be answered.If they are mixed with anger or resentment,they will be ignored because God has zero tolerance for disrespect.

Second marriages seldom are successful and Christians are not allowed to enter into them if they left a "first marriage for both" and their spouse is still living.(Mark 10:11-12)Specifically Jesus,the author of the words in the wedding vow,"till death do us part",called re-marriages adulterous relationships.God does sometimes answer prayers from those living in blatant sin but it is not common.

 

[TexasGirl]

Thank you so much for the first part of the information I really never looked at that, that way before..because of fustration I haven't prayer right and that I have gotten angry and blamed God for things..so I am going to pray and ask God to forgive me that I am a sinner and didn't know what I was going..I hope never to do that again..

Now on my marriage..Im not sure if you know all the details and what denomination that you are with but I had Biblical grounds for the divorce. My husband was cheating..ran off..he divorced me..and him and the other girl got married..she went through everything..made his life her on earth hell and left him with their child..they found her dead 2 years ago..of a drug overdose..I do not think she was a Christian at all..His life is still messed up..My husband wasn't a Christian when we met..he came to Christ after our son's death..so that was a positive thing from his death...Even through the ups and downs of life we have been Chrisitans..We are now members of one of the largest churches in Texas..We are very involved..We have been married for 11 years now..my husband had never been married..I do not think that I am living in sin..In Math 5:31-32 Says Whoesoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing divorce except fo the cause of fornication causes her to commit adultery..Whosever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery...It also says in Math Ch 19:3-9 May be desolved because of adultery. Anyway..I feel in my heart that I have been forgiven..even though I didn't do anything but try to save that marriage..I feel that God blessed me with a wonderful husband now..He adopted my girls and they have his last name, they are teenagers..are very good Christian girls who are involved with youth at our church..So anyway..Thanks for the insight on the other..it did open my eyes to things I never thought I was doing before..

TexasGirl
AKA Carla

 

[Staind]

"If they are mixed with anger or resentment,they will be ignored because God has zero tolerance for disrespect."

For some reason I disagree with the anger part. God knows that we will often be angry at him, and I think he accepts that.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Just pray. Be with your family and build unity, but take any extra time and just pray. Whatever happens, know that God is in control. Being a Christian isn't about riches in this life, but the next.

 

[strengthinweakness]

TexasGirl,

To answer your question about how to get a deeper relationship with God, I would say, as a start, let the difficult times of your life draw you toward God, instead of away from Him. Suffering can deepen our faith, or it can destroy our faith-- but in either case, the choice is largely up to us. Whether our faith is deepened by suffering, or destroyed by it, has a lot to do with what we expect of the Christian life here on Earth. Jesus Himself said that we would have trouble in this life. Don't look too much at the circumstances of your life to determine how much God loves you or how much He is "blessing" you. Instead, look at the cross of Christ. In Jesus Christ crucified, God's love and favor are evident for all of us to see. When you are going through trials and tribulations, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have "lost God's favor." As Christians, we all have God's favor in His amazing gift of grace. With this gift alone, we already have much more from God than we could ever deserve.

For the Christian, suffering can often be a deeper "blessing" than a life full of riches, comfort, and ease. Through suffering, we can grow in faith and learn to depend on God for strength. Suffering can be a purifying process for our faith. It shows us the true condition of our hearts-- do we still love and worship God when life is difficult, or do we turn away from Him, thinking that we know what He should do for us better than He does? Also, As Paul said, our suffering helps us to share in the suffering of Christ. Through this process, we can become more conformed to the character of Christ.

Part of the deepening of my own relationship with God has been simple: I have started choosing to believe (based on what the Bible teaches) that God is good and that He loves me, no matter what happens in this life. When my refrigerator is filled with food, God is good, and He loves me. When I am hungry and have nothing to eat, He is still good, and He still loves me. When I am blessed with the company of loving friends, He is good, and He loves me. When I am lonely and feel abandoned, He is still good, and He still loves me. Now, I admit, I am far from having the kind of "perfect faith" that I describe here! I still get angry at God, and I definitely still have times when I struggle with faith. I also don't agree with the person who posted above and wrote about how God will not listen to prayers "mixed with anger or resentment." Ummm... what about the Psalms??? They are filled with praise for the Creator, but there is also quite a bit of anger and resentment mixed in there! God wants us to be honest with Him about how we feel. We can be real with God-- we don't have to pretend. He cherishes our praise, but He can handle our anger too. Again, the Psalms show this to be true. David expresses all of his feelings to God, not just the "pleasant" or "pious" ones. Honesty with God is necessary for a deeper relationship with Him.

 

[MakeMeAServant]

God does answer prayer when people who are angry pray and tell God they are angry at Him for letting bad things happen to them. Otherwise, He would have ignored me most of my life. Yet, when I expressed my true feelings to God during prayer, He showed me His true plan. Romans 8:28 says that God is working out EVERYTHING (even the bad things) for your good if you love Him. I have been starved, severely sleep-deprived, racked with excruciating physical pain for 10 years, rejected by my family, sexually and physically and emotionally abused for 25 years by multiple people, sometimes without a place to live, at points without any money or security in this life, and unable to work for the past 2 years, etc. In the New Testament, Paul describes a similar story of having to go through excruciating trials. But we both came through those situations with Jesus' help, and God used even the most devastating trials to draw us and other Christians and those who were not Christians to Him!!! God has promised to take care of your physical and spiritual needs. You may not be able to see around the bend in this life, but God is steering your boat for you if you let Him be Lord of your life in spite of all your horrible trials. He may be answering your prayers right now, and you may not even know it for a while.

As one answer to your question of how to know God better, the Bible says to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. It also says that if you seek God with all your heart you will find Him. You are on the right track by reading your Bible and praying. You can listen to praise music and try to praise God too. Paul tried that approach when he was imprisoned for being a Christian. Paul sang praises to God, and God took Him out of that prison unharmed and set him free!

How do you fend off Satan's attacks on you spiritually? The Bible says that we are fighting a battle against Satan and his demons (not against other humans) so in order to win against those powerful forces we have to each put on the full armor of God (Eph 6:10-18). Be sure to read that scripture because it tells you what you can use to defend yourself from Satan, including your faith in God and the truths that are found in your Bible. Jesus intended that each Christian pray, read the Bible, commit verses to heart, etc. every day in order to know Him better and to establish a foundation of TRUTH within their hearts that is built on His wisdom, guidance, and love (so that when they experience trials and tribulations they will not loose their faith or the power that God has given them through His Holy Spirit).

 

[Erik3]

I am sorry for your losses, I can't even begin to comprehend.

I have question for you, are you serving the Lord in any way? Sometimes when you try and follow His will (by serving Him) He brings a lot of peace into ones life.

Just a thought, God Bless you

Erik