God has debilitated me

[StrugglingWithLife]

Today is one of the days when I realize God was being cruel to me my entire life. I feel like an outcast because I have a physical disability that is a mild form of Joubert Syndrome. I don't feel like I am being segregated, and with my love life, it feels like I can only attract people very similar to me (i.e. has a debilitating disability, isn't very attractive etc.) so I only have to settle for what I can get. God is mean and cruel. People say that God isn't cruel, but then people also said that about Hitler.

I want out so badly. I use to find hope in the Christian vision of Heaven, but there is no need to have relationships and sex out there as I described it. If I had my own vision of paradise, I would be totally gone from my physical and intellectual disabilities, and I would be totally de-segregated without any memory in my head of the segregation and suffering I went through. I feel so bad, because Hell is my only other option as far as Christianity goes. I don't want to get into heaven. I really want my own paradise, I don't want God's rules.

We know that people see personality as more important than physical attributes, but the girls I'm attracting are not physically attracting me at all. Everyone treats me like a shallow jerk. I'm spending the rest of my awful life looking at pornographic pictures and videos because it's the only way that I can feel like the man who's partner is a woman who I actually feel at least a little physically attracted to.

I'm still having to reject the word of God because I have no hope of ever seeing my goals ever, and Christians are too stubborn, they never want to consider that there are relationships and sex, everything here on Earth, that is in Heaven.

A majority of Christians don't even care about me.

 

[Paule Patterson]

I am so sorry for your pain. I will not offer an intellectual answer. That is not what you need. You just need someone to be with as you suffer and doubt. Jews have a practice called sitting shiva. When a Jew is in morning, friends and relatives are to "sit" with them in morning, offering no explanations or cliche comfort. Just be with them. This is what Job's friends do.

I can't be with you in person but I wish I could. If you would like to chat and vent, shoot me a PM.

 

[Tzhaar724]

You seem to think that God promised a fair and happy life. The entire meaning to life is to see if we will live for Him. Having a dead brother and father at only 13 obviously shows I was dealt a bad hand of cards, but although I did back slide after that I ultimately didnt let it effect my final decision to serve God. This isnt our home, its a temporary waiting room. Why cast away a life changing surgery just because you have an unpleasant time waiting for it.

 

[Thewonderer]

You seem to think that God promised a fair and happy life. The entire meaning to life is to see if we will live for Him. Having a dead brother and father at only 13 obviously shows I was dealt a bad hand of cards, but although I did back slide after that I ultimately didnt let it effect my final decision to serve God. This isnt our home, its a temporary waiting room. Why cast away a life changing surgery just because you have an unpleasant time waiting for it.

This is nonsense, you can't just belittle the nightmare this fellow human is going through with the promise of a better afterlife in 'a place that nobody can prove exists' some people are living nightmares everyday, and some of us realise this is it and we are stuck with it..

 

[Truthearthdefender]

I understand what you are feeling just a little bit. Christians are by no means Jesus. Some of the most hurtful, demonic, evil, sinful things that have been done to me were by people who call themselves Christian...

That being said... I am a christian with no congregation and no friends... and I have devoted my life to Jesus. I should be posting like you, but Jesus saved me.

Sounds like you do just need a friend. The views you have professed are satanic in the sense that you are seeking self-worship. While it may feel good right now, you are suffering because of it. Honestly and truly.

I fear that while you desperately need Jesus, bible-thumpers and intolerant Christians may never reach you at this rate... I would start by leaving the poem alone. There is absolutely no way that out can value a woman and feel healthy attraction when your idea of a woman is so skewed. I have dated beautiful women, some who were physically disabled as well... and even the women who I dated who did porn did not look like pornstars. That is a fake illusion. Everything you described is a fake satanic delusion.

You are made in the likeness of God to be with God forever. This makes you a miracle in and of yourself. Once you realize this and take hold of the power that is within you by the Grace of God, you will have better luck at achieving your goals.

God loves you, despite how crappy his supposed followers may treat you, but Satan thinks you're a pathetic, disabled, sniveling idiot whom he can continue to trick and destroy until you end up in eternal torment alongside him and his countless other victims.

You are not of this earth because you have been promised a seat in His kingdom. It is up to you whether or not you want to seek the Truth yourself or be satisfied with the world which is under satan's influence.

 

[Truthearthdefender]

markdriscoll.org/sermon-archive

Listen to a few of these sermons... They may be helpful and they are the exact opposite of boring... this preacher preaches Jesus and condemns religion as Jesus did and condemns the kind of people who claim to serve Christ but would rather judge you than patiently do God's work in your life for you to witness His Glory. Peace to you!