God Angrily Clarifies "Don't Kill" Rule

[BlueSubmarine]

Here is a saterical article for those of you who support the death penalty, oppose gun control, or say that any military action is a "just war." It is target=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/8533/dontkillrule.htmltarget=_blank>.



Note: The last link was removed as it contained profanity which is in violation of Rule 4 (no offensive posts). Please read the forum rules before posting any further. Thank you.

 

[Kiwi]

I remember hearing that Tony Campolo said "do you know a (uses swear word) lot of people are going to hell and we don't care about it. And now you are more concerned that I swore than that the said people are going to hell". I thought it was quite an interesting article, theology withstanding.

 

[Caffeine Socialism]

Hey, someone stole that from the Onion! The Onion has the best religious articles (example: Jesus celebrates big two-oh-oh-oh).

 

[Warrior4Jah]

You do realize the Onion isnt a real news website dont u?

 

[MatthewDiscipleofGod]

LOL I hope so Warrior4Jah or we may need to have to have a long talk with him.

 

[BlueSubmarine]

It's satire, but it contains much truth.

 

[chickenman]

its quite hilarious on occaisons, I loved the little newsbite about georgia banning the "theory of math"

 

[CarolinaGirl24]

What theory of math? Fuzzy math?

 

[ashibaka]

Originally posted by CarolinaGirl24
What theory of math? Fuzzy math?

Georgia School Board Bans 'Theory Of Math'
COGDELL, GA—The Cogdell School Board banned the teaching of the controversial "Theory Of Math" in its schools Monday. "We are simply not confident of this mysterious process by which numbers turn, as if by magic, into other numbers," board member Gus Reese said. "Those mathematicians are free to believe 3 times 4 equals 12, but that dun [sic] give them the right to force it on our children." Under the new ruling, all math textbooks will carry a disclaimer noting that math is only one of many valid theories of number-manipulation.

 

[CarolinaGirl24]

OOOOOOOKKKK. Does that mean all the accountants in my family, who use math every day, are just buying into some screwball theory and not something that has been taught as fundamental since the founding of civilization? Gimme a break. These people in Georgia must not want the kids to learn very much. What are they going to ban next? Foreign language because they can't stand the fact that not everyone speaks English?

 

[Freodin]

Hey, English is a foreign language. Of course it should be banned.

 

[oncewaslost]

... georgia has not banned the "theory of math" as it's called. and there is no disclaimer. math is math and it stays that way. don't believe everything you read.

 

[CarolinaGirl24]

They couldn't legally ban it anyway. The Department of Education in Washington DC would have a hissy fit!

 

[strathyboy]

I can't believe people are seriously debating an article from the onion. Look up the word SATIRE in the dictionary, then go to the onion and giggle at the silliness.

 

[Dewjunkie]

I think I may start a campaign to protest the letter system. I don't like the letters Q, K, or J. I don't like having to accept them as part of my alphabet just because someone a few centuries ago decided they knew all the best letters.

 

[ashibaka]

Originally posted by CarolinaGirl24
OOOOOOOKKKK. Does that mean all the accountants in my family, who use math every day, are just buying into some screwball theory and not something that has been taught as fundamental since the founding of civilization?

Now you know what it's like to be an evolutionary biologist!

 

[oncewaslost]

Originally posted by Dewjunkie
I think I may start a campaign to protest the letter system. I don't like the letters Q, K, or J. I don't like having to accept them as part of my alphabet just because someone a few centuries ago decided they knew all the best letters.

i agree!