God and OCD

[phillev]

I've had OCD for over forty years and without going into detail I've been having a few issues with it and God, I happened to say to myself the other day that if he does indeed exist it would be easier for me due to these thoughts if he didn't as they are horrible and doing my head in and now I feel awful for saying such a thing and beyond forgiveness. Please can you give me some advice.

 

[AdB]

I've had OCD for over forty years and without going into detail I've been having a few issues with it and God, I happened to say to myself the other day that if he does indeed exist it would be easier for me due to these thoughts if he didn't as they are horrible and doing my head in and now I feel awful for saying such a thing and beyond forgiveness. Please can you give me some advice.

Hi

As long as you breathe and you feel remorse about any bad thing you have ever done you are never beyond forgiveness.

God loves you enough to accept you just as you are, but He loves you so much that He will not leave you as you are.
The first part is with you, to choose to believe and trust in His endless love.
The second part is a process, it doesn't matter how much time it will take or how often you screw up again, it's His work in you that He will finish as long as you keep running back to Him.

Regarding the why you are going through your suffering, most of the times we don't know in detail why God lets us go through things, but we can trust that it will always serve a good purpose. I would like to point you to this poem of the famous Dutch christian lady Corrie ten Boom (1892-1983)

 

[phillev]

Thanks for the kind words, my OCD has grasped hold and basically said I don't want God to exist which has given me massive guilt. I think what I meant was that if I knew for sure he didn't then the horrible thoughts would be meaningless and it would be easier. The thoughts are about making horrible promises to him using words like inviolable and irrevocable and they are really getting me down, sometimes even with family around I feel so alone.

 

[Unqualified]

I’m sorry you feel so alone…

 

[NBB]

Hi, i had intrusive thoughts, they were gone with deliverance, like Jesus did in the bible, etc.
If you could find some true brothers or sisters that do that and could help.

 

[Mari17]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. How do you deal with the thoughts when they come up? Also, what resources do you have to help you with your OCD?

 

[Sabertooth]

Please can you give me some advice.

Are you going to church?

Along with the continued care of a psychiatrist (not just a psychologist), some churches are better at dealing with mental illnesses than others.

Check out these UK churches,

• Vineyard,
• Assembly of God,
• Foursquare Church

(Links above are locators.)