Give me cash instead now

[Forealzchola]

What do you guys think of this? You ask your guy friend what they want for their birthday...whatever ...dinner ( already did on actual bday) and a pair of shoes-nike slippers( hadnt done yet). You tell them okay the next time Im in your area, I will take you to get those shoes. Its only been two weeks since their birthday and you still have all the intentions of getting them the shoes, just gotta meet up. They go buy the shoes themselves, Idk why they wouldnt wait, hadnt been that long- wasnt anything that was a necessity.

Either way, they ask you then if you can just give them the cash equivalent for the gift you had intended to buy them. Is this okay? I think its kind of rude. Its kind of like oh hey give me some money sort of deal and I really dont believe in just giving men cash unless ( it was your choice or a gift card and thats your gift to begin with)

 

[cb2012]

What do you guys think of this? You ask your guy friend what they want for their birthday...whatever ...dinner ( already did on actual bday) and a pair of shoes-nike slippers( hadnt done yet). You tell them okay the next time Im in your area, I will take you to get those shoes. Its only been two weeks since their birthday and you still have all the intentions of getting them the shoes, just gotta meet up. They go buy the shoes themselves, Idk why they wouldnt wait, hadnt been that long- wasnt anything that was a necessity.

Either way, they ask you then if you can just give them the cash equivalent for the gift you had intended to buy them. Is this okay? I think its kind of rude. Its kind of like oh hey give me some money sort of deal and I really dont believe in just giving men cash unless ( it was your choice or a gift card and thats your gift to begin with)

I have never experienced this directly. But i remember asking for money for Christmas (probably the first Christmas i figured out the TRUTH about Santa Claus) I to this day remember how bummed my dad was. And truthfully, looking back, the less I knew about what I was getting, the better the presents were... anyways back on topic.

I agree that he is being rude. You are trying to give him a gift, and by asking for the money it seems like he is suggesting you owe him. I do think it is important to make good on your promises as quick as possible, but I don't think they have a right to request the "value" of the gift, as the act of giving the gift has added value on top of the money. Giving is part of the process. I feel good when I give, most people do, he should understand that he is trying to take that away.


My .02

 

[BFine]

I wouldn't fall for that, tell your friend, I'm here now to take you to
buy your birthday present. Since you bought yourself some shoes, how
about a cool shirt/sweater to go with them?

 

[Pal Handy]

What do you guys think of this? You ask your guy friend what they want for their birthday...whatever ...dinner ( already did on actual bday) and a pair of shoes-nike slippers( hadnt done yet). You tell them okay the next time Im in your area, I will take you to get those shoes. Its only been two weeks since their birthday and you still have all the intentions of getting them the shoes, just gotta meet up. They go buy the shoes themselves, Idk why they wouldnt wait, hadnt been that long- wasnt anything that was a necessity.

Either way, they ask you then if you can just give them the cash equivalent for the gift you had intended to buy them. Is this okay? I think its kind of rude. Its kind of like oh hey give me some money sort of deal and I really dont believe in just giving men cash unless ( it was your choice or a gift card and thats your gift to begin with)

He missed the boat...
You told him to wait and he didn't so he missed out.
If these shoes are so important and he needed so desperately then
he should not have asked for them as a gift and bought them himself.

Yes, asking for the cash is tasteless.

The gift is yours to give, not his to require.

Why does he even think you should buy him anything at all?

It is the giver who decides what, when and to whom they give so he will have to settle
for the fact that he has you in his life and stop thinking you need to
give him anything of material value and treat you with respect.

 

[Sketcher]

That's beneath even me. Personally, I'd rather receive a gift card than a lot of material gifts because I know what I want - the gift card says, "get yourself something nice" and you can't use it for rent or bills.

 

[amandatea]

Yeah, I would say that's very tacky on his part. Like Pal Handy said - if it was something he needed that badly (which, it seems he didn't) he shouldn't have mentioned it as a possible gift. I would say he's out of luck.

 

[parsley]

If these shoes are so important and he needed so desperately then
he should not have asked for them as a gift and bought them himself.

I wouldn't fall for that, tell your friend, I'm here now to take you to
buy your birthday present. Since you bought yourself some shoes, how
about a cool shirt/sweater to go with them?

brilliant.

If it was a long-term bf, then mayyyybe you should take it more seriously. If it's a friend-friend, then they should not be asking you to spend $75 +s&h on them. If it's an ex, then you should tell them you learned your lesson. If it's a prospective bf, then.... there's your sign.

You're setting a precedent in the relationship, whatever you choose to do. He already set a bad precedent. Where are all the white knights in this world? They seem to be overtaken by oafs and zombies.

 

[Ark100]

What do you guys think of this?

Either way, they ask you then if you can just give them the cash equivalent for the gift you had intended to buy them.

You dont owe anyone anything unless you were binded by an oath. You bought him dinner, if you dont want to spend more, don't/
You dont inconvenient yourself to please anyone especially when the other person is demanding what is uncomfortable to you.

Be assertive all the time.

 

[parsley]

Bonnie Tyler I Need a Hero video - YouTube

 

[Quasicentennial]

What I would do to get back at him is to buy yourself a birthday present such as a pair of jeans when you go shopping together and that would be your future birthday present as if he had already suggested to say: "let's go shopping together so that you can buy your choice of a birthday present - just as I bought my pair of shoes way back when, even though I hadn't any time to see your positive reaction, you get the chance to see my positive reaction when you make the right choice - and we'll call it even Steven".
People can make odd decisions so mirroring their odd decisions can bring some sort of funny rewarding action for all concerned .;*;.

 

[Aijalon]

get them a $5 gift card to a shoe place and tell them to buy some socks to cover up their ugly feet in those slippers!

 

[parsley]

buy yourself a birthday present such as a pair of jeans when you go shopping together and that would be your future birthday present...
People can make odd decisions so mirroring their odd decisions can bring some sort of funny rewarding action for all concerned

Genius. If it truly was an odd decision, it gives him the benefit of the doubt.

 

[anglozaxon]

Well just shows that friends can be weird at times, or is it that we have weird friends?

 

[If Not For Grace]

I think its kind of rude.

If you ask someone what they want because you want to give thenm a gift, how is it ok to limit what they can want? It's no more rude than not giving a present on the B'day. If you really want to give someone something in celebration of a certain day, the proper etiquette is to make the purchase (and the request for what they want) before the day arrives...