My girlfriend's the most beautiful person alive, dark/brown hair, greenish brown-eyes, and a great body. she still somehow thinks she's unattractive it's always been this way, it breaks my heart that she doesn't think she's so amazingly gorgeous, but she's always been this way, back in high school she thought she didn't deserve this guy she liked , because she was too ugly, it KILLED me that she thought that way and occasionally still does, she sometimes still says she looks ugly, but she's the furthest thing from being ugly, or even remotely unattractrive...how can i finally convince her how beautiful she is? i just hate that she thinks lowly of her self, she's so amazing, i love almost everything about her, except for her self-esteem
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girl's self esteem
- Thread starter dobieman0488
- Start date
Beautiful Fireball
Tomorrow is another day
You can't convince her. Its something that she has to discover about herself. Keep complimenting her, but do it in a sincere way and don't bring up the self esteem issue or how she views herself. That puts pressure on her if you are constantly saying "Why don't you think you're beautiful?" or things to that affect, it could end up making her feel worse. I know it sucks, but there really is nothing that you can do to change how she feels about herself.
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Most of the long term girlfriends ive had and my wife ive gotten upfront with. I tell them that "I will tell you if something looks wrong, but you look gorgeous"
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GQ Chris
ooey gooey is for brownies, not Bible teachers
Realize that you will probably Never be able to change the way she feels about herself, make the choice of finding someone with a high self esteem, or accept the fact that you have someone that will more than likely not change about the way she feels about herself.
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If she had higher self esteem she might not be giving you a second glance. You never know. Be careful what you wish for.
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- Dec 17, 2004
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No, its not that he's criticising her. I think he's saying that for her sake here.
Like, you might love somebody, but not love that they harm themselves, because, well, you love them, and you don't want them to be self-harming, because its not good for them.
Bad self-esteem issues are sort of the same thing. H wants to help her. I think thats what he means. Not that he looks down upon her, but he wants her to see just how great she is, and it upsets him that she criticises herself
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Godzila
See, I make all things New!
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i understand what he meant, and so do you.
My answer is still the same.
Look upon yourself before helping others. You must have empathy to understand what state she is in.
When he stated, " i love almost everything about her, except for her self-esteem ".
Is uncounciously saying " i accept all that she is except for that, cause it hurts me"
How can we truly help others when we don't even have compassion for the thing that hurts us?
My answer is still the same.
Look upon yourself before helping others. You must have empathy to understand what state she is in.
When he stated, " i love almost everything about her, except for her self-esteem ".
Is uncounciously saying " i accept all that she is except for that, cause it hurts me"
How can we truly help others when we don't even have compassion for the thing that hurts us?
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- Aug 3, 2004
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What has gone on in her past that has bought about such a sad condition?
John
NZ
John
NZ
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I
ImperialPhantom
Guest
Being born female.
But in all seriousness, to the OP, my wife is right. You can't pressure her into it. She's gotta realize it for herself, if she ever does, and you have to decide if you could live with that for the rest of your life, assuming you are considering marrying her someday. If not, bail. If so, stay. Just don't go in with expectations, because that's a sure way not to get them met.
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You never really know until people change their minds about themselves.
My cousin is a decent regular guy who works hard and treats women well. He was happily dating a fat girl who decided to get the stomach staple surgery. She lost weight fast and dropped my cousin like a hot rock when she found she could trade up. So just keep in mind that not all women will be happy to stay where they are once they think their body is 'hot(er) property'.
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yeah i just wanna help her out, and she isn't the kind of shallow jerk who drops someone because she can "trade up"
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Sounds like she traded up to me but to him it seemed like she ripped his heart out. Ha ha, huh?
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My cousin would have said the same thing.
This is probably falling on deaf ears but here goes anyways. If you change how people see themselves you will change how they see themselves in relation to everyone else. You can either plagiarize that and get a Ph.D. out of it or you can ignore it. Do what you please.
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Hey guys, I recognize y'all from the Mens forum, what's up?
I have to agree with GQ Chris here. Trials, adversites and significant changes in general reveal one's true character -- kind of like how the refinery brings out the gold's impurities.
I should add, though. It's a crappy situation for the guy who got dumped. Gotta feel bad for him to an extent.
I have to agree with GQ Chris here. Trials, adversites and significant changes in general reveal one's true character -- kind of like how the refinery brings out the gold's impurities.
I should add, though. It's a crappy situation for the guy who got dumped. Gotta feel bad for him to an extent.
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waxlion10
Just shut up and be delicious- Dwight
Granted, she has to decide for herself to recognize that her true beauty and identity are in Christ.
However, just like a bad experience with a guy can ruin a girl's self esteem, so can a good experience with a godly young man help her see that she is worth something. If a godly young man loves a young woman with the same type of love Jesus Christ has for her (I recognize that they're not completely equal because guys are human ;-) ), it can also help boost her self esteem.
I speak from experience ;-)
Be patient, kind, and understanding. One of my favorite things about the young man I'm dating and will marry someday is the way he sees me. When I see fat, ugly, grungy he sees beautiful, relaxed, genuine.
Also reassure her that she's beautiful because of other things and not just her gorgeous looks. As women, sometimes we think it's great that men find us physically attractive. But it's always in the back of our minds: will he still think I'm beautiful when we're both in diapers again and don't have any teeth?
Blessings to you.
However, just like a bad experience with a guy can ruin a girl's self esteem, so can a good experience with a godly young man help her see that she is worth something. If a godly young man loves a young woman with the same type of love Jesus Christ has for her (I recognize that they're not completely equal because guys are human ;-) ), it can also help boost her self esteem.
I speak from experience ;-)
Be patient, kind, and understanding. One of my favorite things about the young man I'm dating and will marry someday is the way he sees me. When I see fat, ugly, grungy he sees beautiful, relaxed, genuine.
Also reassure her that she's beautiful because of other things and not just her gorgeous looks. As women, sometimes we think it's great that men find us physically attractive. But it's always in the back of our minds: will he still think I'm beautiful when we're both in diapers again and don't have any teeth?
Blessings to you.
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