Getting turned on- how to stop?!

[Equineartchick]

hmm...I think you may have misunderstood me, I guess. I don't have anything to be guilty of in my past. I have never done anything sexual whatsoever, not even kissing. I've never had a boyfriend. The thing in my past that bothers me is the fact that I was sexually abused by my father as a child (under two) and sexually abused again when I was in kindergarten by a teenager in high school. These two situations I think actually scare me enough for me not to even WANT to have sex. That is why it is surprising that I have these feelings.

 

[Johnnz]

In that case its great that you do. Our sex drive comes on line for most people even after bad experiences. You can discover good sex with that someone special.

John
NZ

 

[Peculiarone]

I find that DAILY we have to crucify the flesh and make a choice to be with God. I am one who struggle with trying not to have sex out of marriage. It is hard but I am learning.

i also had to delete all the contacts that wanted me to sin and throw away all pornographic instruments. You have to show God how bad you really want him.

 

[kunfuzdchic]

Chick,
Let me tell you that it is human(A-ok) to feel these things.I remember this guy, i didn't LIKE HIM, really, so after a night of dancing, we shared the same seat on the bus ride back to the college.So he puts his arm over my shoulder and that was it.There i was getting turned on, close to hyperventilating and i despised this guy! really..it was instantaneous. and so i ran to the ministers in the church asking them if anything was wrong with me, ok ok i was laughed at but hey i didn't know.And I think you should think of it as a blessing that you are able to get aroused despite what happened to you in your childhood.

 

[Equineartchick]

Ya, Iguess you're right. It is good I wasn't too badly affected as a child. And kunfuzdchic, I can totally relate to that hatred feeling....its like you get mad at the guy for daring to turn you on! Or maybe you're mad at yourself for being turned on. That's how I feel. It just feels...dirty and wrong to be turned on. It feels like I'm sinning even though I know I'm not. I can't imagine how hard iot must be to stay pure once you go out with someone. I'm glad I've never dated anyone!

 

[Chajara]

This used to happen a lot with me, and I believe it came from a mixture of things. Hormones, boredom with life, and depression/anxiety. I was going through puberty at the time, my family moved to some god-forsaken hill in Kentucky where I got hardly any human contact and rarely left the house because my parents wouldn't take me anywhere, and the depression came from my verbally-abusive father and the fact that I missed my family, not to mention depression runs in the family as well.

I did nothing but touch, and hated being on my period because it meant I had to go a week without it. No matter what I did, my sexual urges threatened to overtake me. Someone could brush against my shoulder and I'd get turned on, without even expecting it. I can't tell you how many times it happened and I'd just be like "WOAH. ... Aw, man..." and then have to try and ignore it.

However, once I got older my hormones cooled their jets, and my mom and I got away from my dad and back to where we moved from. That was when I was about 15. Then, I went on birth control (problems with my cycle and acne) and it lessened my sex drive. Recently I went on Zoloft to treat mood swings and depression, and now I have no sex drive. It sucks. I go weeks at a time without thinking of it at all, and I've all but forgotten how good it feels.

So, my point is, it's probably not permanent. Hard to ignore, yes, but it'll probably stop eventually. Try changing some things about your life and see if that works.

 

[kunfuzdchic]

Happy Birthday Chick

 

[kunfuzdchic]

Ya, Iguess you're right. It is good I wasn't too badly affected as a child. And kunfuzdchic, I can totally relate to that hatred feeling....its like you get mad at the guy for daring to turn you on! Or maybe you're mad at yourself for being turned on. That's how I feel. It just feels...dirty and wrong to be turned on. It feels like I'm sinning even though I know I'm not. I can't imagine how hard iot must be to stay pure once you go out with someone. I'm glad I've never dated anyone!

Chick,
Dating can be fun, don't deny yourself that.Just choose guys that you know will respect your person. You make it sound as if you'll combust at a mere touch (ok maybe..)j/k . Just tell them that you have a larger personal space radius...
hey that was funny!

 

[Equineartchick]

LOL! combust...idk about that! hehe

Thanks for the bday wishes kun! I am twenty today! yay!!

Anyways, I don't deny myself dating really, I just avoid getting too personal with guys. It usually just leads to pain, you know? I'd rather just have a ton of friends, including guy friends, without all the hassles of a relationship. Besides, I have yet to meet a guy that is a strong Christian and that I feel I have stuff in common with and am attracted to. It isn't like I don't look! lol I am just really ultra careful bc I don't want to make any mistakes. I don't like playing with emotions, I am very straight to the point. Most guys aren't. I can't stand it when guys like you and won't say anything.

 

[Johnnz]

Sexual abuse does leave a woman feeling terribly dirty and unclean. It is an inner defilement that you experience. Get someone to pray for you about that. Some people need to know God's cleansing from being sinned upon as well as for theor own sins. Sexual abuse also does activate many people sexually. Sometimes (but not always) a sexual spirit is involved. This can arouse a person sexually. Often, it also attracts guys who are looking for sex who 'hit on' a sexually abused person, even though that is not wanted. Others can become very sexual and openely pursue sex.

John
NZ

 

[Recruited4Christ]

Ya, I know how you feel about hugging girls...I never do simply because the world is so "open" about homosexuality now, and any hug can be taken wrong. I think it is best just not to hug anyone, like Steve said. It's just kinda sad, though too. I like hugging people, you know? A hug can really brighten someone's day sometimes.

It could be emotional, too. I've never had a boyfriend- I pretty much try to avoid relationships right now bc I am waiting for God to prepare me for the right guy when he appears. Maybe underneath that goal to stay separate I really DO want a relationship and that's why I get turned on easily? That would make sense actually. hmmm...

haha, awesome, I'm with you 100% on this...thats one of the main reasons why I've stayed out of relationships myself...your struggle that is...and as someone else said early...guys are more visual, and often don't even need contact to become aroused...but yes, stick with ur, non-relationship plan, and just stay in the Word, listening for God's guidance in this...