Getting too far from God

[STommy]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

 

[brinny]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

Hello Tommy. Do you want to be at peace with God? Is this post representing your heart crying out to God? It is God's own precious Holy Spirit that woo's hearts, as only He can do. Are you desiring this? (((hug)))

 

[ColoRaydo]

If it was too late, you wouldn’t bother posting this here. Instead you could post it on Medium and get a whole host of cheerleaders telling you to continue with your intentional defiance of the pulling of the Holy Spirit. Or you wouldn’t post it at all if you didn’t care.

Clearly, you do care and you are clearly crying for help. You obviously know right from wrong and are fighting the Holy Spirit’s call.

You can surrender and find peace in God or you can continue to live in angst. No one is so bad that they can’t change their course provided the Holy Spirit is still calling.

You know what you need to do.

 

[Gole]

I don't believe it is too late. The fact that you are even asking says that somewhere a part of you still longs for connection to G-d. Based on what you've said, I believe that you know what you need to do to re-commit your life.

I would direct you to a couple of scriptures for you to consider. The first is the one is Luke 18:10-14.

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector
“The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector.
‘I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’
“And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’
“I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The second example is the thief on the cross (Luke 23:39-43). The thief knew the way of salvation under the old covenant, but he was still a thief. Look at what Jesus said to him:

Then one of the criminals who were hanged blasphemed Him, saying, “If You are the Christ,[fn] save Yourself and us.”
But the other, answering, rebuked him, saying, “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation? “And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said to Jesus, “Lord,[fn] remember me when You come into Your kingdom.”
Tools
And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”

Finally, Look at the life of Samson. He didn't do things the right way. I'll refer you to his life in Judges 14-16. In Hebrews 11:32 Samson is listed with those who overcome.

And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,

G-d won't force you back. You have to make the choice, but He's never been far away. It is up to you do decide. Repentance can be made. It will be a journey, but He's still there for when you turn to him.

I'll leave you with this 2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us,[fn] not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

I hope that you choose to put yourself on the path and that someday we can both laugh together about how it all worked out.

 

[honey badger]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

we walk in forgiveness, seeing a lamb was slain from the foundation ... God has you exactly where He wants you at this moment, albeit this is hard to see does nor make it any less true ...

For the Lord disciplines whom He loves, and He scourges every son whom He receives.

 

[dqhall]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

Someday you might be overtaken by disaster. Unless you change your wicked ways, God might not be able to rescue you.

When I was young I had fallen into a reprobate lifestyle. I blamed my fall on the substance abuse, but there were other problems I was not confessing.

I started to memorize Bible scripture in an effort to get saved. Life was good at times. A while later I was reading violent passages in the Old Testament. This path led me away from Christ. Eventually, I turned to the Gospels and Acts. I was trying to understand the words that I had been unable to comprehend in my youth. Paul’s words became valuable to me. I liked parts of Isaiah. I found useful laws against sexual immorality and murder.

People wrote to me I could not be saved by works. I found not working is being a bum and it leads to worse disasters. You might have to learn to do useful labor and not curse your parents.

 

[Albion]

Tommy, none of us thinks it's too late.

However, it probably would be wise of you to speak candidly with a professional--a pastor. Choose carefully, but I believe you'll do better that way than by gathering a scattering of opinions from an assortment of well-wishing but unknown people online.

This is no brush-off, please understand, but your worries are more complicated than what we sometimes deal with here. And if you have a more specific question, don't hesitate to give us a try with it.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

Welcome ! You have taken the first step in recognizing your condition. When you are ready for the next step ask Him to give you His Holy Spirit. Be blessed,

 

[Jaedan]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

Hi STommy

1. I don't think you are far from being saved (if you think you cannot be saved, you should probably know where those negative thoughts are coming.....(the devil)), nor do I believe that you have a reprobate mind (you are quite aware of your sin and shortcomings. I do believe you are remorseful for your sins)

2. I think God has you exactly where he wants you.

3. Matthew 18:21-22: Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven

We have all done such great sins in our past in on-going lives. It doesn't matter if you have committed 60 sins or 1 trillion sins (if that is even possible?) God looks at us all through the same lens. Your amount of sins are never too big for God.

5. You say that you have no sorrow for repentance. What kind of sorrow are you looking for? Godly sorrow or worldly sorrow?

Worldly sorrow brings death. Worldly sorrow does indeed make you sad after you have committed a sin. However, this sadness is not due to you knowing that you have offended God. Godly sorrow acknowledges that you have sinned and offended God. Yes, goldy sorrow can give you some types of sad feelings; however, getting these feelings are is not the main objective. The main objective of godly sorrow is for you to acknowledge your sin, repent, and continue walking with God.

6. I think what you really need to do is to get to know (drumroll please....) Jesus Christ! When you give your life to Him and continue to learn, pray, and talk to Him as you walk with Him, your shortcomings will gradually go away (For example, as you learn about and treasure his love for you, you will begin to love not only your parents more, but everybody (including your friends, enemies, and etc!). These fruit of the spirit will gradually manifest in your life as you get to know Jesus Christ more (more specifically, learn about his love for you more).

Overall, the point is...

John 15: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

As you continue to learn about Jesus Christ (in a personal manner!) He will gradually begin to remove the "spiritual blindness" that is blinding you. You must abide in Him. As you do this, He will begin to remove your heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh (He will soften your hardened heart). This won't be an easy process I must note.

Even with the masturbation/inappropriate contentography sins that you have a hard time overcoming: He will help you overcome them. I do have to note, this may not be easy, in fact, It may be very hard. You may fail plenty of times (I know that I fail quite often!). But you have to remember that Jesus will always be there for you. He will help you overcome it.

Just learn about Him... If you are truly saved, the thoughts of not being saved may be coming from the enemy. However, if you still have some doubts, bring those doubts to Jesus, and just ask Him into your life again. Moreover, you don't need any overwhelming, goose-bump induced feelings in this process. Simply, believe, repent, and trust in what Jesus has done, and after that, just walk with Him.

I hope this helps you out.

I will pray for you

 

[Kenny'sID]

I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true

Excellent start.

I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally.

Works are a necessity, but you are correct, that alone won't cut it.

I enjoy sinning.

And my mental state is deteriorating fast.

Looks like you may not be enjoying it that much after all.

This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.

If you are here, then it's not too late. I mean you are at least still worried, and are conscious of where you are at, so, though it may be possible you are close to the strict definition of reprobate, you most definitively arent there yet.

Are you interested in taking the steps towards salvation, and if so, what exactly can we do to help you up?

 

[TheWordIsOne101]

(Sorry for the long winded story)
I am an unbeliever. Now before you cast me aside please hear me out because I need help. I do believe that the Christian faith is correct and true. I even thought myself saved at one point. But my conversion wasn't real. I said a prayer and didn't actually have any change of heart, no repentance, no faith. I battled sin for a while but it wasn't true. I was doing good things to try and avoid hell. I fell into salvation by works unintentionally. I thought I had repented, I thought I was doing well by trying to do my best. But there was always a gnawing thought in my mind that said I was working for salvation. It turned out to be true. I was never saved to begin with. My prayers were just lip service. My repentance was fake/non-existent. And my heart was hard.
Now it has escalated. I've fallen away from God. I know the gospel. I know the truth but I reject it. I enjoy sexual sin, inappropriate contentography, masturbation. I enjoy having hatred in my heart. I loathe my parents. And my heart is hard. I enjoy sinning. And I do it willfully. I don't care!!! I sin without thinking about the consequences. And when I do think about hell I say, "its worth it." I have no sorrow for sin. I sin without remorse and I have a seared conscience as Paul called it. I have a reprobate mind. And my mental state is deteriorating fast. But I came across Romans 1:24 and now I'm worried. This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.
This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me. Now I only have the creeping certainty in my mind that I am going to hell. And the scariest thing about it, is that I don't even fear IT!!!! I continue to commit sexual sins with no fear or reverence. I continue to hate my parents with no respect for them or God. My tongue is filled with lies and profanity. I KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL REJECT IT!!! My heart has become so hardened by my own stupid actions that I can't be changed even by Gods words or warnings. I don't feel any sorrow for sin. No sorrow for sin means no repentance. No repentance means no salvation. Everything I do is a fake effort. Maybe me writing this is even is false half baked effort to at least ease my conscience. Every day goes by and I think tonight I will repent, tomorrow I will repent. But they day. Never. Comes.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

But yet there is a piece of me that says its not too late. But it may just be my conscience trying to ease itself as hell approaches. Trying to deceive myself into thinking I have a chance at salvation without actually acting on it.

Greeting
Just need a little understanding and love
I to felt this as well

Is There's a CRACK IN YOUR ARMOR, Mental spiritual Attack
A little History
What is the meaning of true faith, in our hearts? The heart at birth in which the soul, faith is born. It is the heart that is reborn in faith in my regeneration of the Holy Spirit.

Above all, taking up the shield of faith, beyond and above all measure.
The Roman soldier and warrior of ancient times had two types of shields. One smaller round shield, called aspis, was used mostly of display and was about the side of a round large table lamp, the aspis shield is hooked to the loin belt and was in parades held after the victory of the war.

Aspis Victory Shield
The aspis measured at least 0.9 meters (2 ft 11 in) in diameter and weighed about 7.3 kilograms (16 lb), and it was about 25–38 millimeters (0.98–1.50 in) thick.

The Scutum shield was a 10-kilogram large rectangle curved shield made from three sheets of wood glued together and covered with canvas and leather, usually with a spindle-shaped boss along the vertical length of the shield. The best surviving example, from Dura-Europos in Syria, was 105.5 centimeters high, 41 centimeters across, and 30 centimeters deep, with a thickness of 5-6mm. some source prove it weighed about 5.8 kg to 6.8 kg

A battle formation that made excellent use of the great scuta was the testudo or tortoise formation, in which soldiers would gather close and align their shields both in front and on top. This protected the group from frontal attacks and projectiles launched from above.

Ephesians 6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

What are spiritual fiery darts? Meaning a burning mind or idle mind?
The Prince of the atmosphere
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

John 14:30 I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world comes and hath nothing in me.

Satan subject the mind sudden the thoughts of an individual, or stronghold, fortified the mind, you must fortify your mind from spiritual fiery darts? Meaning a burning mind or idle mind the adversary shoots into the mind a type of stronghold, those are your fiery darts.
Setting the imagination to spiritual fiery darts? Meaning a burning mind or idle mind with a mental image most common sexual activity burning the mind, or whispering words burn into the subconscious mind, mental activities, you are overwhelmed by the burning sensation in one of your members, which is the law of sin. Image into your thoughts pouring into your mind, this I call the waterfall effect. You must cast down the image out of your mind, and then you can be successful, how into deep prayers in the Spirit, this deflected the fiery darts with your shield of faith, protect your heart.

Proverbs 4:23-27 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or the left; Remove your foot from evil.

Luke 11:13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

John 16:23-24 And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you.
Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

2 Corinthians 10:15 Not boasting of things without our measure, that is, of other men's labors; but having hope, when your faith is increased, that we shall be enlarged by you according to our rule abundantly,

Defense
Matthew 4:7-10 Jesus said to him, "It is written again, 'You shall not tempt the LORD your God.' "
Away with you, Satan! For it is written, 'You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.'

Mark 4:40 But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"

Matthew 8:26 But He said to them, "Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.

Romans 4:19 And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah's womb.

Matthew 8:10 When Jesus heard it, He marveled, and said to those who followed, "Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!

Mental attacks from Satan
2 Timothy 1:6-8 Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me, His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God,

1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world--the lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world.

Matthew 5:22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hellfire.

Acts 10:38 how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.

1 John 3:20-22 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.
Beloved, if our heart does not condemnation us, we have confidence toward God.
And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

Proverbs 18:20-21 A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, From the produce of his lips he shall be filled.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

 

[Ramon1]

I was never saved to begin with.

There's no magical moment or feeling of getting saved. One just has to do their best to follow God. He's God; He knows all. Obviously, he knows our capabilities.

This scripture says that there are some sinners that are so resistant to the grace of God that God hands them over to themselves, to sin. God has judged them by giving them what they want. He lets them spiral into sin and lets the sin overwhelm them so they're hearts are hardened. He rips away any understanding of the truth they have and lets them be spiritually blind.

You're getting too paranoid and worried. God allows you to do what you want, i.e., freewill. So, everyone is handed over to themselves (at least to some extent).

This is a perfect description of me. I'm slightly worried that this is where I am at this point. I truly believe I have sinned so much that I am beyond saving, that God has given up on me.

It's possible that there's no such thing as beyond saving. From what I've read, you haven't done anything that bad at all. I've been guilty of all you've done as well as a lot of people.

I need help...Am I beyond saving? Has God given me to my sin? I have a reprobate mind and I am headed for hell....Is it truly too late....

God whose all good and knowing would surely not cast you to hell.