Me and my girlfriend broke up about 7 months ago but i still cant seem to move on. Idk why but i seem to care about her to the point of i dont wanna date other girls. I know she doesnt wanna get back together. I have been praying and asking God to help me get over her and that we both find peace and happiness. What do u guys think? Any advice?
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Getting over a ex
- Thread starter DiscipleofGod18
- Start date
Pray and pray some more. Read your Bible. Focus on strenghthening your relationship with God rather than getting over her. It hurts, of course, but you can't dwell on it or the wound will just stay open.
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i have currently went through the same thing but with me and my boyfriend. i pray every day about it. and i found that associating with the opposite sex really helped because you will find your comfort zone again! its kinda hard at first but eventually you will find what your looking for! trust me it works!
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AkyrXX
Knowledge begins with respect for the Lord
Don't worry about it dude. I went throught the same exact situation. Except that it lasted 2 years, and I wasn't a Christian at the time. And when I became a Christian was when I finally was able to get over her, through a lot of group prayer and study of the Bible, to know that even if no one in the world may love you, we got Jesus to be there for us, and really, do we need any more love than his?
Just something to think about. Keep praying and reading the Bible. The Book of Job helped me through it for some reason.
Just something to think about. Keep praying and reading the Bible. The Book of Job helped me through it for some reason.
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Look at the postives of this...
God can be calling you for something far greater than what you think... you might not know now but later on life you will.
God can be calling you for something far greater than what you think... you might not know now but later on life you will.
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pressingon17
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Focus on God and not your relationship with girls,but a Relationship with God,I went through the same thing about 8 months ago and it really helped and got me closer to the LORD.
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S
solarwave
Guest
It seems to me that many things in life are about the attitude you have about it. I dunno if you have, but maybe you just need to except that is over and isn't comming back and to let go of what your holding on to and be a friend to her.
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Hope by even now you're moving on. It's best. Look around and find some things to occupy time and things heal.
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HarborOrange
I am a sieve.
Moving on can be hard, yeah... I've been dumped a few times, and sometimes it feels like the worst pain imaginable, so I kinda know how you feel. I've just prayed about it, and thought about it for awhile, and eventually I was able to move on, and now God's blessed me with a girl who is waaaay better than the girlfriends I had in the past. So, just keep moving forward, it'll get better, I'm sure of it.
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avra34v2
Deus est regit qui omnia
My advice on how to get over an ex: get over it. (and yourself)
This probably means that you've invested an unhealthy amount of emotional energy into this person. never put your hope in someone else because they will inevitably fail you. God is the only person who will never fail you or let you down, any time you put your hope in someone else they WILL fail you. So start focusing on God and investing in your relationship with Him. Start focusing on the things HE wants, not on your own selfish desires. If you're goal is to glorify God and advance His Kingdom with your life, then you will not fail. If your end-all is the glory of God, you will succeed. However, if your goal for your life is to get into a comfortable relationship with a girl, hope that she will satisfy you and be able to keep you happy, then your world will come crashing down very quickly. Focus on God and His goals and all these things will be added to you anyways.
This probably means that you've invested an unhealthy amount of emotional energy into this person. never put your hope in someone else because they will inevitably fail you. God is the only person who will never fail you or let you down, any time you put your hope in someone else they WILL fail you. So start focusing on God and investing in your relationship with Him. Start focusing on the things HE wants, not on your own selfish desires. If you're goal is to glorify God and advance His Kingdom with your life, then you will not fail. If your end-all is the glory of God, you will succeed. However, if your goal for your life is to get into a comfortable relationship with a girl, hope that she will satisfy you and be able to keep you happy, then your world will come crashing down very quickly. Focus on God and His goals and all these things will be added to you anyways.
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PhilosophicalBluster
Existential Good-for-Nothing (See: Philosopher)
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solarwave
Guest
I agree that God is the only one who wont fail us but at the same time I dont think you can say to 'never put your hope is someone else'.
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grey.tea
Newbie
im having difficulties moving on from an ex myself, but i asked around and this is what a friend of mine said to me as advice, i havent changed it atall so this is exactly as she said it, and it has helped me alot.
keep in mind all of it may not apply, but hopefully you can get something you can use out of it. i just cant reword it without it having the same meaning.
" I know it's not easy but the rules for getting over someone are:
1. It takes time.
2. Remove temptation.
3. Avoid them at all costs
4. Destroy something.
5. Hang out with friends
6. Spend time with yourself.
I had a really hard break up a few years back. It took me a year and a half to get over him and another half a year to be ready for a new relationship, and for it not to hurt when I heard his name. When the heart is involved and things aren't the way they used to be. It just takes time for things to seem normal again and to get your head screwed back on and get your heart off the floor. It takes time for the memories and feelings to fade, even the bad feelings. Time heals all things.
When I had the hard break up, After a while, I took everything he ever gave me and put it in a box and put it where I wouldn't see it all the time. What made it easier is that I lost my phone and I didn't have his number anymore and we deleted each other off of Myspace (Facebook wasn't popular yet and Twitter wasn't around) His name was forbidden in my house. I couldn't talk to him anymore, and I couldn't be tempted to talk to him and I nothing to remind me to reminesce about our relationship and it made it alot easier to fade the memories, and feelings.
All the work to fade the memories would have been destroyed, if I'd seen him again, so avoid him at all costs. It wasn't hard for me because he'd graduated already, but I also avoided the places we sat at, and halls we met in and scenes of our falling in love. I also avoided some people that were closer to him than me and it was hard but if something is reminding you of him it shouldn't be there until you feel differently about it.
Destroy something. It's healthy. It get's the rage out but be careful what you destroy. After my break up, I destroyed my wall by splashing red paint all over his mural and I cut off all my hair. (boy short) And now the wall is painted over and my hair grew back. I tried to change everything about myself, and once I did, the pain started to heal I did become a different person, because I felt differently about him, about our past, and about my future that now didn't include him much.
I can't stress how important it is to have a good group of friends who will support you at a bad time. I didn't have my best friend anymore because she dumped me as well so I spent alot of my mourning on my own, and it made it so much harder. Once I got a group of friends, they were awsome and we had alot of fun together. At this time it's important to remember that you don't need a man to have fun and that there are other kinds of fulfilling relationships out there and that people will still love you even if it didn't work with one person.
It's also really important to spend time with yourself, to figure out who you are without them, and who you want to be on your own, no one can tell you that or figure it out for you. Pain changes who people are and you're going to feel differently about some things. Spending time with yourself includes getting pampered, getting haircut, massage, manicures, pedicures, makeovers, clothes shopping, taking really long showers, and lots of other stuff that make the body feel good because it's important at this time to remind yourself that you are still beautiful
After this was over for me, I did talk to my ex, granted anything that was pleasant and more than, "Hello" was about three years later but I can talk to him now, because we don't feel the same way, but the healing process has to happen before it's good for him to be in your life. Never forget the number one rule, 'It takes time" Because if you don't allow yourself that time, you'll end up going back to him, rebounding off of alot of other perfectly nice at any other time boys, or eating way too much chocolate. So have faith, it will go away. good luck"
i hope that helped some.
keep in mind all of it may not apply, but hopefully you can get something you can use out of it. i just cant reword it without it having the same meaning.
" I know it's not easy but the rules for getting over someone are:
1. It takes time.
2. Remove temptation.
3. Avoid them at all costs
4. Destroy something.
5. Hang out with friends
6. Spend time with yourself.
I had a really hard break up a few years back. It took me a year and a half to get over him and another half a year to be ready for a new relationship, and for it not to hurt when I heard his name. When the heart is involved and things aren't the way they used to be. It just takes time for things to seem normal again and to get your head screwed back on and get your heart off the floor. It takes time for the memories and feelings to fade, even the bad feelings. Time heals all things.
When I had the hard break up, After a while, I took everything he ever gave me and put it in a box and put it where I wouldn't see it all the time. What made it easier is that I lost my phone and I didn't have his number anymore and we deleted each other off of Myspace (Facebook wasn't popular yet and Twitter wasn't around) His name was forbidden in my house. I couldn't talk to him anymore, and I couldn't be tempted to talk to him and I nothing to remind me to reminesce about our relationship and it made it alot easier to fade the memories, and feelings.
All the work to fade the memories would have been destroyed, if I'd seen him again, so avoid him at all costs. It wasn't hard for me because he'd graduated already, but I also avoided the places we sat at, and halls we met in and scenes of our falling in love. I also avoided some people that were closer to him than me and it was hard but if something is reminding you of him it shouldn't be there until you feel differently about it.
Destroy something. It's healthy. It get's the rage out but be careful what you destroy. After my break up, I destroyed my wall by splashing red paint all over his mural and I cut off all my hair. (boy short) And now the wall is painted over and my hair grew back. I tried to change everything about myself, and once I did, the pain started to heal I did become a different person, because I felt differently about him, about our past, and about my future that now didn't include him much.
I can't stress how important it is to have a good group of friends who will support you at a bad time. I didn't have my best friend anymore because she dumped me as well so I spent alot of my mourning on my own, and it made it so much harder. Once I got a group of friends, they were awsome and we had alot of fun together. At this time it's important to remember that you don't need a man to have fun and that there are other kinds of fulfilling relationships out there and that people will still love you even if it didn't work with one person.
It's also really important to spend time with yourself, to figure out who you are without them, and who you want to be on your own, no one can tell you that or figure it out for you. Pain changes who people are and you're going to feel differently about some things. Spending time with yourself includes getting pampered, getting haircut, massage, manicures, pedicures, makeovers, clothes shopping, taking really long showers, and lots of other stuff that make the body feel good because it's important at this time to remind yourself that you are still beautiful
After this was over for me, I did talk to my ex, granted anything that was pleasant and more than, "Hello" was about three years later but I can talk to him now, because we don't feel the same way, but the healing process has to happen before it's good for him to be in your life. Never forget the number one rule, 'It takes time" Because if you don't allow yourself that time, you'll end up going back to him, rebounding off of alot of other perfectly nice at any other time boys, or eating way too much chocolate. So have faith, it will go away. good luck"
i hope that helped some.
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