Well, I've been asking for relationship advice from this site, but it seems that things are now over between my girlfriend and I. Please someone tell me what to read or what to do to start healing. I want God to be the center of my life right now.
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Getting over a Breakup
- Thread starter Regality
- Start date
Puptart
Live, Laugh, Love.. and adopt a dog :)
- May 14, 2012
- 948
- 101
- Faith
- Muslim
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- CA-NDP
The healing starts as you move on. Throw yourself into your other passions and your school/work/whatever it is that you do. If you have no other passions, consider that a big problem to be rectified in your life.
There is no magic answer to getting over a breakup. The recipe involved "time".. and more time.. and more time until one day you wake up and you realize it hurt less than it did yesterday. And the next day you realize it hurts even less.
One day you wake up, and you can remember the good times of your relationship without hurting. You recognize it was just one phase in your life, and that there are many more good things to come. You will be able to draw both good and bad lessons from your past relationship, you will learn a lot about yourself and probably other people as well based on how the relationship worked and what happened in the end, and you -will- be a better person for having gone and grown through it.
One of the WORST things you can do right now is try to "just be friends" with her. It does not facilitate a proper healing process and will only hold you back while you pine away for what you once had -- she's so close yet so far. Just don't torture yourself. Time and time again people try to do this and time and time again people fail at it. Perhaps you can be friends, but not I think today. I always had a policy of having to be apart from someone for at least as long as I've dated them before trying to be friends, and that measure has never failed me.
If you wantt o center your life on God.. there are ample opportunities in each day to do so, but human emotions .. they skew our perception of and relationship with God. And you know, that's normal. Emotions are powerful things, so while I totally support your willingness to throw yourself into God right now, just remember not to try to "replace" your hurt with God or ignore your emotions in favor of religion, which I find is a common thing for people to do... because it won't work. You must feel these emotions and you have to go through your own grieving period. God can help, but there's no substitution for just good old "time".
The good news? Is that you will wake up one morning and it won't hurt like it does now. That much I can guarantee you.
There is no magic answer to getting over a breakup. The recipe involved "time".. and more time.. and more time until one day you wake up and you realize it hurt less than it did yesterday. And the next day you realize it hurts even less.
One day you wake up, and you can remember the good times of your relationship without hurting. You recognize it was just one phase in your life, and that there are many more good things to come. You will be able to draw both good and bad lessons from your past relationship, you will learn a lot about yourself and probably other people as well based on how the relationship worked and what happened in the end, and you -will- be a better person for having gone and grown through it.
One of the WORST things you can do right now is try to "just be friends" with her. It does not facilitate a proper healing process and will only hold you back while you pine away for what you once had -- she's so close yet so far. Just don't torture yourself. Time and time again people try to do this and time and time again people fail at it. Perhaps you can be friends, but not I think today. I always had a policy of having to be apart from someone for at least as long as I've dated them before trying to be friends, and that measure has never failed me.
If you wantt o center your life on God.. there are ample opportunities in each day to do so, but human emotions .. they skew our perception of and relationship with God. And you know, that's normal. Emotions are powerful things, so while I totally support your willingness to throw yourself into God right now, just remember not to try to "replace" your hurt with God or ignore your emotions in favor of religion, which I find is a common thing for people to do... because it won't work. You must feel these emotions and you have to go through your own grieving period. God can help, but there's no substitution for just good old "time".
The good news? Is that you will wake up one morning and it won't hurt like it does now. That much I can guarantee you.
Upvote
0
I
ImperialPhantom
Guest
Go date ten other women.
No, but seriously. It's time to "do you" as the rap songs say. Time heals all, so resist the urge to retreat into yourself, and get yourself involved in whatever you get involved in, or want to get involved in, as best you can. Whatever activities you do or places you go that bring you closer to God, do those. Enjoy the freedom. Go where you want to go, do what you want to do, seek God how you want to seek God.
No, but seriously. It's time to "do you" as the rap songs say. Time heals all, so resist the urge to retreat into yourself, and get yourself involved in whatever you get involved in, or want to get involved in, as best you can. Whatever activities you do or places you go that bring you closer to God, do those. Enjoy the freedom. Go where you want to go, do what you want to do, seek God how you want to seek God.
Upvote
0
R
RebornBen
Guest
I guess there's no easy way really. I recently broke up with my girlfriend after over 2 years together. We thought we would get married but it turned out differently. I put her before God and that's probably why so many things went wrong.
I think putting God in the center of your life is a good idea ofcourse but Puptart made a good point about not replacing the pain with God. Thanks Puptart that's good advice for me as well.
Getting comfort from God and his word isn't wrong in my opinion though. It has helped me a lot.
Upvote
0
iambren
Newbie
- Mar 2, 2008
- 3,223
- 163
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Nazarene
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Be patient and accept that ultimately only time heals a broken heart.
Don't see her, at all.
Avoid being alone all the time and brooding.
Jog or exercise, fills you with confidence and endorphins.
Don't deny or surpress the pain.
Some find journaling to be helpful.
Join a small group and socialize.
Good luck!
Don't see her, at all.
Avoid being alone all the time and brooding.
Jog or exercise, fills you with confidence and endorphins.
Don't deny or surpress the pain.
Some find journaling to be helpful.
Join a small group and socialize.
Good luck!
Upvote
0
L
Lladro
Guest
I don't think God should be used as some kind of fallback, do you?
You are alive in the here and now and you need a companion, God will always be with you but your partner is only with you here on earth, look out for him/her in the here and now.
Upvote
0
R
RebornBen
Guest
Nope but when things turn to crap it's nice to know God is always there to look out for you. There are times when you'll be more involved with God and times when you drift away a bit. That's just how most humans work as far as I know. If we'd be perfect we wouldn't have any other lives than to worship God in every possible way.
And no I expect to meet my partner in heaven even though we aren't bound in any way to eachother there anymore.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
