Getting married Saturday

[XB3LI3V3RX]

I haven't been on CF in a couple of months because I've really been focusing on college. This leads me to my other point; I'm getting married on Saturday. My problem is I've been getting really depressed about having to leave home. I've lived in this house with my parents for all 18 years of my life and now I'm going to be leaving for good while I'm in college. All these different things going on are just really stressing me out; I can't even think about my parents or my home in general without tearing up. And our cat is going to be staying here, but she sleeps at the foot of my bed almost every night and I'm just really going to miss her being there waking me up in the mornings. I just don't know what to do...I love Stephanie (my fiancé) and I'm so glad we're getting married, I just don't want to leave my home and family, but I know I have to. I don't even know what to pray about because I WANT to get married, but I don't want to leave home at the same time. I guess I just want to know if anyone else felt like this when they get married and how you coped with it. Thanks..

 

[Pal Handy]

Pray for peace.

Yes it is scary making such an imoportant decision but
Christ promises to be there for us when we invite Him into our situation.

Sample prayer:

Father, in Jesus name I ask that You would take away my fears and
give me Your peace to replace my fear and fill me with Your Holy Spirit.

Father, I ask that You would bless my wife to be and give her Your peace also.

Father, I dedicate myself, my marriage and my wife to be to You and
I ask that You would be with us and in our marriage from this
moment on.

Father, I thank You for my wife and my new life and I know that with
You as the center of our lives and our marriage, I know that all will
work out and my life will be better than before.

Thank You Father, in Jesus name I pray...

 

[seashale76]

First of all, congratulations! May God bless you and your fiancé as you start your married life together.

Secondly, I recall sleeping in my old bedroom the last time the day before my own wedding. I felt nostalgic too, but didn't get depressed. You can't let yourself get mired down in the past and dwell on things (that's never healthy).

What helps me is counting my blessings that I still have my family around (even if I don't live in the same house with them anymore). Actually, I think I'd be driven up a wall living with them now. Just take it one day at a time, and pray.

Have you and your fiancé gone through counseling? That is really helpful, as well.

 

[XB3LI3V3RX]

Pray for peace. Yes it is scary making such an imoportant decision but Christ promises to be there for us when we invite Him into our situation. Sample prayer: Father, in Jesus name I ask that You would take away my fears and give me Your peace to replace my fear and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Father, I ask that You would bless my wife to be and give her Your peace also. Father, I dedicate myself, my marriage and my wife to be to You and I ask that You would be with us and in our marriage from this moment on. Father, I thank You for my wife and my new life and I know that with You as the center of our lives and our marriage, I know that all will work out and my life will be better than before. Thank You Father, in Jesus name I pray...

Thank you for this...I really do need to pray about this situation in general even if I don't know the exact words to say.

 

[XB3LI3V3RX]

First of all, congratulations! May God bless you and your fiancé as you start your married life together. Secondly, I recall sleeping in my old bedroom the last time the day before my own wedding. I felt nostalgic too, but didn't get depressed. You can't let yourself get mired down in the past and dwell on things (that's never healthy). What helps me is counting my blessings that I still have my family around (even if I don't live in the same house with them anymore). Actually, I think I'd be driven up a wall living with them now. Just take it one day at a time, and pray. Have you and your fiancé gone through counseling? That is really helpful, as well.

Thanks you. =)

I know I should be thankful that I'm still going to see my parents sometimes on the weekends and such. It's just hard thinking that life isn't going to be the same anymore...but that isn't necessarily totally a bad thing. I'm marrying the woman I love...and, to answer your question, we have done our counseling and it was helpful. This issue really wasn't on my mind though until this week and I started realizing how much I had taken this home for granted...but that's what this house will always be in my heart no matter what..my home..in my opinion anyway.

 

[turkle]

Quite honestly, it sounds like you are nowhere near ready to get married. I would really prayerfully consider this.

 

[tturt]

It is a big step but if you've been at peace about it all along then, you've gotten cold feet. I did the same thing - been happily married to the same guy for decades now. BUT you need to make a final decision for yourself quickly. If you decide no, then she's out of your life - probably forever. Is that what you want?

 

[OBEY]

Congratulations on getting married buddy. I'm getting married in April. Relatively soon I guess. I think it's normal to have nostalgic, occasionally sad thoughts, especially so close to such a life changing event like moving and/or getting married. Like you said, though, you will still be close enough to your parents to see them on the weekends, so it sounds like you will always that that support system available to you. Your life is changing but your best days are still ahead of you. Pray and ask God for peace. Know that He is in control. It may sound goofy, but I write when I have similar thoughts, usually in a journal or as a note on my iPad. Somehow, just getting my thoughts out makes me feel much happier and more at peace. Maybe I'm just weird. Anyways, best of luck to you, and I wish you and your fiancé a very blessed marriage.

 

[Odetta]

Pray, pray, pray. I confess I don't really understand why it's necessary to get married to your love so early in life, when you seem to be not emotionally ready to leave home as an individual. It's a double whammy in that you have to transition leaving home and gaining a wife at the same time, but you can do this. I pray for peace and God's strength as you make this transition.

 

[Albion]

Quite honestly, it sounds like you are nowhere near ready to get married.

I dreaded saying it, but this is the impression I had too.

Generally speaking, newlyweds are looking forward to making a new life for themselves and their spouse and have only a modest nostalgia for the home and daily routine with their birth family. That's how it should be and how the Bible describes it.

Perhaps the feeling will quickly pass for our friend here. Many people have all kinds of scary thoughts and doubts the morning of the wedding, but they are soon forgotten. But I hope he does not try to visit Mom and Dad, etc. at every opportunity and cling to his old life. That would be damaging to the marriage for sure, and the parents would certainly know that also.

I don't want to leave home at the same time. I guess I just want to know if anyone else felt like this when they get married and how you coped with it. Thanks..

Honestly, no.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Move your wife into your parent's home to live with you. It will save money and you will have home.

 

[XB3LI3V3RX]

Congratulations on getting married buddy. I'm getting married in April. Relatively soon I guess. I think it's normal to have nostalgic, occasionally sad thoughts, especially so close to such a life changing event like moving and/or getting married. Like you said, though, you will still be close enough to your parents to see them on the weekends, so it sounds like you will always that that support system available to you. Your life is changing but your best days are still ahead of you. Pray and ask God for peace. Know that He is in control. It may sound goofy, but I write when I have similar thoughts, usually in a journal or as a note on my iPad. Somehow, just getting my thoughts out makes me feel much happier and more at peace. Maybe I'm just weird. Anyways, best of luck to you, and I wish you and your fiancé a very blessed marriage.

I actually really enjoy writing, so that's a pretty good idea in my opinion. As a few others have said I need to pray more about this, too. I talked to my mom for about two hours last night about everything and she really set my mind at ease...parents always know best. Lol

 

[OBEY]

Generally speaking, newlyweds are looking forward to making a new life for themselves and their spouse and have only a modest nostalgia for the home and daily routine with their birth family. That's how it should be and how the Bible describes it.

I'm curious of the specific Bible verses you're speaking of, because I disagree with almost everything you said. From my understanding, he never said that he wasn't looking forward to getting married and making a new life with his wife. It sounds like he is mostly sad about missing his parents. It's something I can relate to because I have always had a really strong relationship with my parents, and I honestly went through the same thing when I left home. Some people are just more emotional and experience more nostalgia than others. I'll be the first to admit that I'm an emotional person. I think it's wrong to base someone's personal life decision on that alone.

Even though this may ruffle some feathers, I also have to say that I think people sometimes make judgmental comments on subjects like this because they're quick to get jealous of young love. My parents got married at 19 and they are still together and in love to this day. As long as you love and want to spend your life with your fiancé, that should be all that matters. Some people just find their soulmates younger than others. When you know, you just know.

 

[tturt]

Might be Gen 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?" Matt 19:5

 

[Albion]

I'm curious of the specific Bible verses you're speaking of, because I disagree with almost everything you said. From my understanding, he never said that he wasn't looking forward to getting married and making a new life with his wife. It sounds like he is mostly sad about missing his parents.

I see that the first part of that's already been answered for you. I guess I assumed that everyone would recognize the reference, since it's built into every wedding service.

As for the second, of course he is "looking forward" in some degree to the wedding, but it's clear that he has a degree of reluctance, too. That's the part that's the problem. He says it is. It would be a grievous disservice for us to convince him that it's not.

 

[XB3LI3V3RX]

I'm curious of the specific Bible verses you're speaking of, because I disagree with almost everything you said. From my understanding, he never said that he wasn't looking forward to getting married and making a new life with his wife. It sounds like he is mostly sad about missing his parents. It's something I can relate to because I have always had a really strong relationship with my parents, and I honestly went through the same thing when I left home. Some people are just more emotional and experience more nostalgia than others. I'll be the first to admit that I'm an emotional person. I think it's wrong to base someone's personal life decision on that alone. Even though this may ruffle some feathers, I also have to say that I think people sometimes make judgmental comments on subjects like this because they're quick to get jealous of young love. My parents got married at 19 and they are still together and in love to this day. As long as you love and want to spend your life with your fiancé, that should be all that matters. Some people just find their soulmates younger than others. When you know, you just know.

Thank you for this post.

 

[Albion]

You know, "X", we could all have told you "don't worry."

The fact is that you expressed a real concern over a real problem, and we didn't think sugar-coating it would be helpful to you.

Of course, we all WANT everything to work out well for you and for you to look back on your wedding afterwards and say "I was worrying for no reason."

May you have many wonderful years of married happiness.

 

[DreyDay]

I haven't been on CF in a couple of months because I've really been focusing on college. This leads me to my other point; I'm getting married on Saturday. My problem is I've been getting really depressed about having to leave home. I've lived in this house with my parents for all 18 years of my life and now I'm going to be leaving for good while I'm in college. All these different things going on are just really stressing me out; I can't even think about my parents or my home in general without tearing up. And our cat is going to be staying here, but she sleeps at the foot of my bed almost every night and I'm just really going to miss her being there waking me up in the mornings. I just don't know what to do...I love Stephanie (my fiancé) and I'm so glad we're getting married, I just don't want to leave my home and family, but I know I have to. I don't even know what to pray about because I WANT to get married, but I don't want to leave home at the same time. I guess I just want to know if anyone else felt like this when they get married and how you coped with it. Thanks..

This is what you're depressed about? Lol. You're getting married you should be overjoyed and happy. You're really young dude, and I can understand leaving the house can make you depressed, leaving your familiar surroundings. Remember this though: if you're getting married, you're going to have bigger problems than missing your parents your feline friend waking you up. If this small stuff makes you sweat and get nervous, how are you going to react to bigger stressful events? How are you going to feel if you and the Mrs. get into an argument and you have to sleep on the couch that night? How are you going to respond if the Mrs. gets along with the in-laws and you argue with her because they hate you and she doesn't know why? (I'm just making these up, I've never been married : ) but nevertheless, food for thought.

Man up.

 

[BFine]

How are things?

 

[faroukfarouk]

How are things?

Yes, God bless them richly.

A daily prayer life and Bible reading are foundational for a Christian home for a couple.