Getting Honest

[madison1101]

My gratitude is growing right now. I went to my treatment group, and was honest about my relapse on Sunday and got a ton of feedback and support about my sobriety/relapse/program. I then went to my AA group this morning and was honest there as well.

Most importantly, I was honest with my Pastor and his support and love brought me to tears. I am learning so much about God's love, grace, and most importantly the love of His people. I hate being human and being honest about my recovery struggles. I want to appear as if I am all together and "cured." Yet, I know that is a lie of the enemy, and that I am just full of baloney when I want to appear together.

I just got off the phone after a really good talk with my sponsor, and it was so good. I was gut level honest about feelings and issues, and she was encouraging me to keep getting honest. I hate feeling feelings and showing the emotions that go with them.

Thanks for being here and supporting my recovery.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[TheMainException]

You're on the way to cured...I can see that much...being honest with others is freedom for the soul...you can be honest with yourself once others have seen the truth from you. I've learned so far in my recovery that getting messy is key...telling the truth no matter how awful, beautiful or both, it must be told. That was one of the first things God told me after he turned me around.

 

[madison1101]

I have been to three AA meetings since my relapse. I am soooooo grateful that I had the courage to be honest at my home group. I love that meeting, and wish I could get up early every day to attend it. It is at 6:00 a.m. Monday through Saturday.

I did go to a meeting at a clubhouse last night, but could not share because they do Tag sharing, where people call on people to share, and nobody there knows my name, because I don't regularly attend it. It is kind of like a club where you can go between meetings and have coffee, but there is smoking there between the meetings, and I have asthma.

I am heading to see my psychotherapist today. I have not seen him in three weeks, and I am dreading it because he knows I relapsed, as I write to him between my sessions. There is a ton of stuff I need to work on that surrounds my relapse, and it is the painful stuff that I have been drinking, cutting and other things to avoid dealing with. I guess I liken it to root canal...painful to go through, but healing once it is done.

I have to get moving...have a great weekend.

Trish

 

[navymansk2]

Trish

Keep the faith, its one Day at a Time for all of us. Sometimes its one second at a time. Glad your being honest with yourself, and others. Its a hugh step in Recovery as you know. God is with you!

Peace

 

[hotsauce5000]

hi trish,
one day at a time is right.
give your issues to god, teach yourself that you really dont need the juice!
i know the lonliness you feel, i was there. just be yourself and be true to that person.

maybe, take a step back and make a list of things to do for yourself that could improve your way of seeing, feeling things. you dont need that poison anymore.

it took the court telling me not to consume or possess alcohol to get me where im at. all it takes for you is for people that care about your well being telling you- everything will be ok, without alcohol.

just forget about alcohol and ignore it, deal with the other things in your life and decide that you will be happy without drinking.
please do this for you, no one else can.


a suggestion for finding new friends:
i found a site called meetup.com, you can look for groups with interestes like yours. i found one where people liek to go bike riding and canoeing.
some of them do the bar thing a lot, but i wont involve myself in that part of course. as soon as i can drive again im joing that group. for you, find something you like and look into a nearby group where you can meet new people and make new friends. if that works out for you, the lonliness you feel will go away and it will help you stay away from alcohol.

im am no expert but i hope that i can be helpful to you.

 

[madison1101]

hi trish,
one day at a time is right.
give your issues to god, teach yourself that you really dont need the juice!
i know the lonliness you feel, i was there. just be yourself and be true to that person.

maybe, take a step back and make a list of things to do for yourself that could improve your way of seeing, feeling things. you dont need that poison anymore.

it took the court telling me not to consume or possess alcohol to get me where im at. all it takes for you is for people that care about your well being telling you- everything will be ok, without alcohol.

just forget about alcohol and ignore it, deal with the other things in your life and decide that you will be happy without drinking.
please do this for you, no one else can.


a suggestion for finding new friends:
i found a site called meetup.com, you can look for groups with interestes like yours. i found one where people liek to go bike riding and canoeing.
some of them do the bar thing a lot, but i wont involve myself in that part of course. as soon as i can drive again im joing that group. for you, find something you like and look into a nearby group where you can meet new people and make new friends. if that works out for you, the lonliness you feel will go away and it will help you stay away from alcohol.

im am no expert but i hope that i can be helpful to you.

I appreciate your support and encouragement. I just got hooked up with Meetup.com, and am hoping to participate in some groups that definitely interest me.

I also am involved at church, and in some knitting groups, which are safe, so I am doing okay in that respect.

Have a great day.

Trish