Getting Engaged

[USA]

How long should you be engaged before you marry? What if you know you want to marry, but can't for a couple years because of schooling or something else?Can you still get engaged?Should you?

Sorry if this topic has been gone over to much, just give me links then if you want.

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I don't know if this topic has been gone over a whole lot or not- it probably has. I have not experienced engagement or marriage yet either. But what I can tell you that I've heard and read, and also think is wise information, is that engagement should be used to plan the wedding. Also, there is no need to draw out an engagment- only for however long it is going to take you to plan your wedding, preferrably not more than 9 months to a year, if that long. A website that might help you, that also has excellent DATING advice, is:

http://www.baptist-city.com/Books1/dating.htm

It's like an online book. Just click on To Those Engaged for the specific engagement info. Hope this helps!

 

[Leanna]

I agree with the other two, there is no purpose in a long engagement. If you aren't ready to get married, just stay boyfriend/girlfriend. You two know you are committed to getting married someday and that is what matters. I think a lot of times people get engaged long term just as a status thing and that is not the purpose of engagement.... it is to get ready for the wedding. 5-12 months is ideal.

 

[AveMaria]

I personally like long engagements - plenty of time to plan a wedding, make whatever necessary arrangements need to be made, as far as housing (ie, finding a new house/apartment together, letting your current lease expire so you're free to sign a new one, possibly making preperations to move to a new city, etc).

In my family, engagements typically seem to last about 12 - 18 months.

 

[ardeur]

I agree with everything Blue Impluse posted. I am an 'advocate' for short engagements because I believe the time inbetween is for wedding preparation. My parents were engaged December 30th and were married on February 10th - that's not even a month and a half and they had over 200 guests at their wedding.

 

[AveMaria]

Blue, I think we're very much on the same page.

I do know quite a few people who think any length over, say, 6 months, is too long of an engagement, which makes me actually feel conservative!

 

[Oblivious]

I think it's something that just really depends on the 2 people involved. We've all heard of long engagements (>1 year) working, and we've all heard of short engagements or even no engagement working. I don't think it's fair to say such and such amount of time will work for one couple because perhaps it worked that way for you. Do what's best for the both of you.

 

[Leanna]

12-18 months isn't bad.... its more about the heart of why you are getting engaged than about the actual time allotted...

 

[Inperfected]

My opinion is pretty much that of blues... I've seen one last 2.5 years, beacuse they had to have her move to another culture (she's asian), and i've seen them last just a few months... The typical of 9 months to a year seems great, because you have time, but also can get to know each other in the sence of marriage, such as what are the favourite recipes... Mines going to be 14ish months, but i'm having it that long/maybe longer because it sets both parents at ease, and i am off overseas.

It's about the situation not the time, but if it's waiting for a part of life to be over, be careful... Plans have a habit of changing