Get married?

[Multi-Elis]

I had friends in Israel who got married while the wife was in her 2nd year of college, and her husband in the army. They lived at her parents place, he would come and see her on weekends. But the time he's done with army service, she'll be done with collage and can work.

I also have friends with a child who live with their parents. I don't know how they got married, but the wife studies and the husband has a low paying job to help pay the parents bills and the wife's studies.

It's not... too horrible. If you are willing to put up with that possibility.

 

[seamonster]

You'll have combined rent (if you aren't already living together), combined food, combined gas, and combined car insurance. Getting married in college and living off of one income is completely doable as long as you're willing to budget and to make things work as much as possible. Even if you get student loans, be dedicated to making small payments each month if you can. Doing this will help with the interest that will build. If you're ready to get married, I would just do it. I got married a few weeks after my 18th birthday and my husband and I were both in college. He was working full time so we managed to do school without any loans, but I know that's not always possible.

Good luck and I wish you both the very best.

 

[Berniquen]

David Ramsey. Total Money Makeover. -- Google both of these.

Debt is not easy to get out of. Particularly student loan debt. If you can't afford the life you want to live without using loans... then you shouldn't be living that life.

I really believe that you are setting your marriage up for failure. -- And long engagements are not wise either.

If you want to marry... figure out a way to support the two of you without relying on loans and a dream of a 50k salary. (We're in a recession there is no promise of employment.)

 

[Purity_over_Passion]

one. God provides. if you are in such an intense school program then you will make the money. two. its the same thing thousands, maybe millions of couples have gone through. it just takes alittle self discipline, self sacrifice and you will be fine.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I have a few concerns with your situation:
1. you don't know how soon you'll be able to get a job once you're finished with school or how much you'll get paid so you can't use your future salary to budget with.
2. how do you know now what salary she'll be making in 18 months? Nobody can promise somebody a job that far in advance. Are you going by what the general salary is for the job she is looking for? Remember graduates get paid alot lower than people who have experience and as somebody's mentioned its difficult to get a job without experience.
3. I've never been married but I am sure marriage is a huge adjustment so you will have to get used to being married, carry on studying hard, and adjust to having your first proper job all at a very young age. Will you be able to study if she wants you to spend time with her and will she give you time to study?
3. This is the most important and should be listed first: have you asked God what you should do? Without His blessing, there's even less chance that your marriage will last.

 

[Berniquen]

God provides but he doesn't promise a 50k salary...

You could be homeless and God will provide for you a homeless shelter where they will feed you a sandwich twice a day...

We like to say that God provides and imagine warm cottages and new cars... not necessarily true.

 

[Snoofles]

i would wait it out as well. marriage is hard enough, and you don't want to make it more stressful by worrying about income and what not. keep praying though. God may have something different in mind for you guys. God bless you both!

 

[wynneabbey]

I think its still up to both of you, you have to talk about the situation seriously. You're both still young, but if you really determine to settle, then why not..

 

[Niffer]

Wait.
At least until one of you are financially stable.
I got married after I had finished school, and Remi (my dh) was graduating just 4 months later.

Marriage is great, the honeymoon period is great, but reality can slap you sooooo hard and sooo quick when it comes down to money.
I know we all like to think we can live on love, but you will be dealing with enough being a new husband that the last stress you need is financial.

Finances are the #1 reason couples get divorced.
It's is the most argued about topic in marriage, and even if it's not argued over, the stress of it pushing down on you causes you to snap at your spouse.

Wait just until she gets this great job of hers.
Spare yourself the stress of dealing with all of this at once - you want the best start for your marriage, yes?
Then plan ahead - like anything else important, you plan and do it at the right time. Not the but-I-want-it-now mentality.

Do it for your future. I know this from personal experience.

Peace,
- Niffer

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

The keyword is "will be making 50 000"
I would wait until she is done school and actually making this money. There is this little thing called compound interest that could make your life difficult if you try and live for 1.5 years on very little income. 1.5 years is nothing and you may as well enjoy being engaged-you're still incredibly young.

What she said.

 

[twinserk]

Alright everyone...I need some real help here...

I got engaged in May to the girl of my dreams, and we are facing a dilemma.......
Let me give you some background....

Me: 22 yrs old...full time student...cant work due to intense school program....2 years to go...


Her: 21 yrs old same schooling difficulties....but she works just on the weekend as a server..... year and a half till shes done with school and making a steady $50,000...

I know that there are tons of details necessary to make a good choice but we dont feel like we are supposed to wait till we finish school to get married....so we were thinking about looking into student loans and just paying them off after school.....I heard you get better rates when you're married students...

our expenses would be...
rent
food
vehicle payments
insurance (health and auto)
School

....so I guess my question would be ...is it doable?...anyone else here ever in this situation?....how did you do it?

How would you recommend doing it?
God bless..and thanks for your help

dude, that $50,000 a year she makes will go down the tubes quick after taxes, car payments, house payments, monthly bills and paying off students loans. You never want debt. Always own things free & clear.

If you don't have enough money, you need to work. Not go and get yourself into debt for the next 20 years.

 

[yourstrulyjulie]

Your situation sounds so much like mine. I even expect to make exactly that in a year (No, I'm not being naive.. totally reasonable salary). But we're waiting. If it were solely up to me, I'd want to as soon as one of us had a good income. He wants to finish school first though, so its going to be a long time. I advise a long engagement. (that's what I would do if the proposing was up to me haha)

 

[Science_of_Fear]

I wouldn't bother waiting. Course, in my opinion we as a society wait way to long to get married waiting for this or that to be perfect.

So how do you account for the divorce rate? >_>

I think you could stand to wait. You don't want so big of a financial burden looming over your head in the first years of your marriage, especially if it's growing.

If you two are as great with/for each other as you think, then you will be all right waiting for her to get her steady income.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

This thread is over 3 years old...

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Oh, looks like a newbie bumped it.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

Oh, looks like a newbie bumped it.

Sometimes I think mods should clean out threads older than six months unless requested by the OP to stay.

 

[Niffer]

This thread is over 3 years old...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Awesome. They're probably married by now and have a child! Too funny.

 

[penNpaper]

Sometimes I think mods should clean out threads older than six months unless requested by the OP to stay.

After I saw 2008 I was like hmm okkk lol

God Bless,
Drew

 

[Bella Vita]

My in-laws were married at 19 and 23 they lived in student housing and made it work. I got married at 20 husband also 20 we are making it work. It won't be easy but if you have faith that they lord wants this for you and you want your relationship to be blessed then that is what you should do. The money will work itself out. God will provide he always does you just have to have faith that he is in coltrol and he will make sure you guys are taken care of. It is not easy at all, but I love being married and I wouldn't change it for the world. We struggle and it's not all roses, but God provides. =]