Gender equality is an asinine concept.

[mpok1519]

yeah, cops pull people over all the time without reason; its not only illegal for them to do that, its highly unconstitutional.

 

[cantata]

Chajara, I respect your support of your husband and family. It sounds like you have good family values as a wife. Most feminists would look down on you for what you do.

I'm a feminist and I 100% respect Chajara for her choices.

Find a feminist who doesn't.

 

[mpok1519]

a feminist would not look down upon a woamn who CHOOSES to fulfill her life in the way she DESIRES.

Feminism is about choice; if a feminist chooses to be a housewife without a career, thats her choice! more power to her!

why would any feminists look down upon a sister woman doing what she wants that makes her happy? I swear there are some dumb things said on these forums....

 

[Chajara]

Right, exactly, it's all about choice. Were I forced into an old-fashioned gender role I'd already have been pregnant and had a baby by now. As it stands, I made the choice to try out college, the choice to drop it because I fell in love, the choice to leave my home and move to be with the guy I fell in love with, and now we're making choices together. We're choosing to delay having children, for example, because we've quite frankly got better things to worry about, particularly with the economy shaping up like it is. We're still in a 1-bedroom apartment for Pete's sake. Once he's got his career going and we've got a bit of property and things look to be entirely stable, then we'll talk about the babymakin'.

Feminism is about choice, and it's still feminism if we choose to go the traditional route of marriage/motherhood. Lots of women choose to do this, too, it's not like this entire generation of young women all want careers or travel or whatever. Different strokes for different folks.

 

[Maren]

If you look at a good number of the population what you say is true. A good number of women are vain and shallow, and alot of men are sex crazed and jerks. A good number of women(espesially young women) prefer to be with guys who are jerks too(nice guys finish last)

A decent woman and man is hard to find in society and it take alot of hard work.

You know, I never really had a problem trying to find decent people in this society. Sure, there are a lot of jerks (both male and female) but I've never had a problem finding decent ones. And hard as this might be for you to believe, I've actually had people thank me for being a good person and making them want to be a better person -- part of the reason that I believe setting a good example and living up to your beliefs works far better than preaching at people.

If you aren't finding decent people at church, then it really sounds like you need a new church. Though, honestly, I suspect that the problem is you, you are so judgmental that you typically condemn the good people with the bad.

It took me years to find a nice woman who had decent morals and principles. One of the great ruiners of women today is feminism because it looks down on the housewife and gives women ideals that are harmful for future marriage.

Strange how you never have given any actual evidence for this. Rather, you have given us claims that are full of correlation fallacies -- just remember that the late 60s were when Catholics quit saying the mass in Latin and so that is just as valid a reason for the decline you see in society than feminism is.

Many women talk about cooking for their husband as if it is murder.. the question is, why?

Do you expect your wife, before you have children, to stay at home and make everything perfect for you? If not, should she really be responsible for all the housework and cooking while you enjoy your time off of work?

And if you do expect her to stay home to simply provide for your every whim, why do you expect her to meet all of your needs while you are not meeting all of hers. Again, it seems you attitude on this makes you selfish and uncaring -- not the woman.

what makes supporting your husband so horrible? a loving wife should be happy to support and cook for her husband, if she dosen't, then she has issues and probably has been poluted by feminist ideals.

Or maybe they just see you as a lazy slob who has no interest in her feelings, desires, or interests. Why should she be nothing more than a domestic servant?

Many husbands are busting their chops at work to support their family and children and many women today just don't respect that anymore.

So you claim. Yet it is not true. Rather, since most women are working today, they have a good idea about the effort the husband makes in a marriage and can appreciate it even more. The problem is, if your wife is working before marriage, do you appreciate her for "busting" her "chops at work to support" your (you and your wife's) "family".

And have you stopped to realize after you have children, even if your wife is staying home, she is still "working" more hours per week than you are. Little children are a lot of work. Most women have no delusions about that, or if they do they are quickly dispelled when they have children. But many husbands think since they work and their wife is in charge of the house that she should still wait on them when they get home -- your attitudes make you appear that you are one of them. Though, in fact, from your own claims, the work she is doing at home is far more important than any work you will ever do.

A really wonderful book is called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

She has three basic rules for marriage:

* treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath- no matter how you might feel at that moment.

* think hard everyday on how you can make their life worth living.

* be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for.

And honestly, there aren't very many feminists that will have any problem with that advice.

 

[Athene]

If you look at a good number of the population what you say is true. A good number of women are vain and shallow, and alot of men are sex crazed and jerks. A good number of women(espesially young women) prefer to be with guys who are jerks too(nice guys finish last)

No comment.

One of the great ruiners of women today is feminism because it looks down on the housewife and gives women ideals that are harmful for future marriage.

Yes and a good thing too, the happy marriage of bygone years was built on the silence on suffering women who said not a word when their husbands spent his wages on alcohol and women he met in pubs, putting up with his sense of enitlement that just because he's the manhe has the right to treat his wife any which way he pleases. Thank goodness those days are gone and may they never return.

Many women talk about cooking for their husband as if it is murder.. the question is, why? what makes supporting your husband so horrible?

I don't think so, women are still lumped with the majority of housework including cooking.

a loving wife should be happy to support and cook for her husband, if she dosen't, then she has issues and probably has been poluted by feminist ideals. Many husbands are busting their chops at work to support their family and children and many women today just don't respect that anymore.

If she doesn't its most likely because she's sick of being taken for granted, most women work outside of the home yet most women end up doing most of the housework, men are in serious danger of becoming an expensive non-essential luxury item. Women work hard on marriage, it is rare to find one who makes no effort, but there gets a point where she is sick of coming home from work and having to do all the housework while her husband sits in front of the TV, when she's sick of constantly having to stroke his ego and guard what she says to him in case she hurts the poor little baby, of course he says what he likes to her. Did you know that most men are totally unaware that something was wrong with their marriage until his wife says ''No more!'' and files for divorce, don't you think it's pathetic that these men do not know how miserable and how sick their wives were until it was too late to make things better?

You are probably right that wives are showing their husbands less 'respect'. When women are also out at work busting their chops they do have no or little respect for the whining man who complains and pouts about doing housework or cooking the meal or bathing the kids and putting them to bed. The stay at home wife is catching on and realising that just because her husband works outside the home is no reason for him to have all the power and authority in the relationship.

Feminism has been great for women and bad for men, If men want to be married and have a family then they have to change their outlook and give up all the entitlements their fathers had because modern women will not suffer in unhappy and unequal marriages.

A really wonderful book is called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

She has three basic rules for marriage:

* treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath- no matter how you might feel at that moment.

* think hard everyday on how you can make their life worth living.

* be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for.

Women do this all the time, it's men who are in desperate need of this lesson.

(I'm not talking about all men, just those men )

 

[Athene]

a feminist would not look down upon a woamn who CHOOSES to fulfill her life in the way she DESIRES.

Feminism is about choice; if a feminist chooses to be a housewife without a career, thats her choice! more power to her!

why would any feminists look down upon a sister woman doing what she wants that makes her happy? I swear there are some dumb things said on these forums....

Unfortunately there are a few extremists who do look down on women who choose to stay home and look after the house. Every ideology has it's extremists.

But, I'm a feminist and I'm a stay at home mother and from the feminists I have personally encountered I have had received no condemnation for the decision I made.

 

[mpok1519]

the extreme feminists don't seem too feminine. =P

 

[stan1980]

Feminism has been great for women and bad for men, If men want to be married and have a family then they have to change their outlook and give up all the entitlements their fathers had because modern women will not suffer in unhappy and unequal marriages.

Feminism hasn't been bad for all men. Admittedly, it is bad for the sort of man who wants to marry a doormat, as he might find he has less choice these days, but I happen to like independent women, plus I like having women around the workplace. Having too much testosterone around has never struck me as a good thing.

 

[Braunwyn]

Most feminists would look down on you for what you do.

I wouldn't look down on a woman for any of her choices, tho I may not view a woman favorably if she shacks up with sexist, bigoted, losers. On that end I feel pitty.

 

[quatona]

Most married women I know who are feminists would not do what you do.

Heck, I go out on a limb and bet that you do not know even only one woman or man who is anywhere close to the caricature of feminism you keep trying to paint.

 

[TheDag]

I assure you I do not, by any standard formulation of 'rights'. I do, however, believe in protecting my own interests. Because they are my interests.

ok so what other people call rights you call intterests. Just as I thought you do believe in rights. You believe in the right to protect your interests at the very least. If you truly didn't believe in it then you wouldn't do it.

 

[TheDag]

A really wonderful book is called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

She has three basic rules for marriage:

* treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath- no matter how you might feel at that moment.

* think hard everyday on how you can make their life worth living.

* be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for.

A pity she doesn't follow her own advice. She reminds me of another author who wrote about how to be the perfect wife although she was divorced four times!

Chajara, I respect your support of your husband and family. It sounds like you have good family values as a wife. Most feminists would look down on you for what you do. But like you said, your relationship is succesfull and you have retained your maternal instinct. Most married women I know who are feminists would not do what you do.

My wife is a feminist and does not fit your stereotyp either. Actually none of the feminists I've met fit your stereotype!
My wife has a larger earning potential and I don't believe the rubbish line that kids don't need their fathers so my wife and I both work part time. Funny how you seem to claim it is the woman job to cook but then why are so many of the best chefs men? After all if cooking is a woman job there should surely be alot more women at the top. Or maybe cooking isn't a womans job but rather a job that needs to be done by somebody. If thats the man so be it. If its the woman so be it. If its both so be it.

 

[TheDag]

Media stereotypes are not accurate. The easiest way to illustrate my point is to suggest you go talk to someone who has sold furniture or been a waitress for longer than 5 years. Ask them about how different people behave and they will generally give you the same answer as another person in the field who they have never met, go across town to their competitor and ask the same question. I work in retail at a different store almost every day and have run into this as people always talk about similar topics and I listen more than I talk at work. Men, women, different races. The stereotypes are not right all the time but they are around 75 to 80% of the time. Its sort of like the bell curve, there are extremes on either side of the norm.

hang on your claiming sterotypes are based on truth but you claim media stereotypes are wrong??? a bit of a contradiction there. The media stereotypes are based on something. So they are just as valid as any other stereotype given by people. You can't pick and choose which stereotypes you want to follow.

 

[TheDag]

So if you are walking down a dark alley in the bad part of town at night and a gang of minority youths start approaching you, then you won't think anything of it?

that is not a sterotype. The sterotype would be that all youths of that particular minority are thugs.

 

[Autumnleaf]

hang on your claiming sterotypes are based on truth but you claim media stereotypes are wrong??? a bit of a contradiction there. The media stereotypes are based on something. So they are just as valid as any other stereotype given by people. You can't pick and choose which stereotypes you want to follow.

I can too pick and choose which stereotypes make sense to me based on my experience. Try and stop me.

 

[Autumnleaf]

that is not a sterotype. The sterotype would be that all youths of that particular minority are thugs.

'All' is not necessary. 'Often' is enough for me to avoid such a situation.

 

[mpok1519]

I can too pick and choose which stereotypes make sense to me based on my experience. Try and stop me.

and you might not also notice the consequences from pepetuation of ignorance through the use of stereotyping people into groups.

 

[TheDag]

I can too pick and choose which stereotypes make sense to me based on my experience. Try and stop me.

so your earlier claim that all stereotypes are correct the majority of the time is actually a false claim.
Just out of curiosity do you basically match the christian stereotype?

'All' is not necessary. 'Often' is enough for me to avoid such a situation.

I was simply telling you what the stereotype would be. Stereotyping applies to groups so the actual stereotype would be all youth of a particular minority are thugs not what you claim which is most of the youths of a particular minority are thugs. I wasn't commenting on what needs to happen for one to avoid a situation.