Gay Marriage and the Christian Conscience

[Bonhoffer]

Hi there,

I'm an evangelical Christian from the UK. This is a question for Canadian evangelicals who disagree with same-sex relationships.

I'm a very loving, understanding and friendly person. I love gay people, have many gay friends and support most of what the gay rights movement stands for. However as an evangelical Christian I believe that same-sex relationships and homosexual behaviour is morally wrong in the eyes of God. I have no problems with Civil Unions (this is what the Brits currently have), but I would have major issues with it officially being called 'marriage' as the government in Canada has done.

Firstly I believe calling it 'marriage' would mean state approval of homosexuality, rather than the current tolerant neutrality. It could bias the approach to teaching sex and relationships in schools; and send the message that people with traditional convictions on sexuality are 'wrong', 'weird' or even 'horrible people'. But I can cope with this.

Secondly, and most importantly; it could force people who disagree with gay marriage to act against their conscience and marginalise or lead to discrimination against people of faith.

The Bible says that is not only a sin to engage in homosexuality, but it is equally sinful to approve of it. (i.e attending a civil partnership ceremony) Therefore for me to call a same-sex couples union a 'marriage' is a sin and is (technically) calling "good evil and evil good".

Now I want to be a Social Worker working with the public. I have no problem working with the gay community. However should "full gay marriage" come into force it could mean compromising my faith in order to do my job. I might have to write reports referring to the 'marriage' of two women or ask a male service user to bring his 'husband' to the next meeting. I have no problem using terms like 'partner' or referring to a mans 'boyfriend' or a womans 'girlfriend'. These are facts. But 'marriage', 'wife' and 'husband' are God terms and as a God fearing Christian I don't think I could use them in the wrong context. So would this mean i cannot work in this profession?

Now I realise that Canada has had full gay marriage for several years now. Canada will also have God-fearing Christians working in professions like social work and education. How do you deal with this dilemma? What is the solution? What is the situation in Canada? (i.e are Christians being marginalised?)

 

[Skaloop]

So would this mean i cannot work in this profession?

Cannot, no. But you should not. Just as someone with a fear of water should not work as a lifeguard.

Now I realise that Canada has had full gay marriage for several years now. Canada will also have God-fearing Christians working in professions like social work and education. How do you deal with this dilemma? What is the solution? What is the situation in Canada? (i.e are Christians being marginalised?)

There is no dilemma, so there's no need of a solution. The dilemma is on a personal basis for the individual to deal with. The situation here is that Christians are not being marginalized; churches and religious leaders are not being forced to perform marriages for gay couples.

The closest you could get to it is that Justices of the Peace (government representatives who perform non-religious civil marriages) may not refuse to perform a marriage for a gay couple. This may go against their personal beliefs, however they are a secular representative in a secular position for the secular government. As such, they have certain duties to perform. If they personally do not feel they can fulfill those duties, then they would liekly no longer be able to perform that job. So if a JP is opposed to gay marriage, then they likely would not be a JP much longer. But that's due to a change in job description, not marginalizing Christians.

Suppose I am a vegetarian, working as a cook at a fully vegetarian restaurant, because I find the eating of animals to be highly immoral. Then management decides that, in order to attract more customers, they are going to add a few meat-based dishes to the menu. Now I have a personal moral dilemma. I could continue working there, cooking meat and going against my morals, or I could quit because I cannot go against my morals. Either choice I make would not be the restaurant "marginalizing" vegetarians; they are still offering full and complete vegetarian fare, they've just added something else that, while I am personally against it, most people support. Just because I personally don't like meat doesn't mean that people who do like meat, or support people who want to eat meat, should not be allowed to. And if it is that much of a problem for me personally, I should find a career that will not involve meat.

 

[Bonhoffer]

thanks for that, but i was wanting to hear the perspective of someone with the same beliefs as me and how they have dealt with this.

I'm of the position that if there is something that can be done that is reasonable to accomodate personal conscience and religious beliefs then it should be done. But if it can't then that person will have to stand down. With people performing civil unions, if a town has 10 registrars (as we call them in the UK) and only 1 (or 2 or 3) cannot peform civil unions because of personal conscience, then it is better to keep them on staff because you have enough people that can do it. However if you only have one registrar and they refuse to do civil unions then they must be let go because their personal convictions (which they are entitled to have) means that that towns government cannot perform a service it is obiliged to do.

If the government refused to employ all registrars who refused to do civil unions then what would happen in very religious towns? (like a strong Mormon area) There would be a much smaller group to employ registrars from and there would be few people from certain groups such as Muslims.

Anyway I am not so much wanting a legal answer, but a theological one. I'm not aware of thousands of Canadian evangelicals quitting proffessions like social work because of the wording of legal gay relationships; so they must have found some way of dealing with it. God must have shown them a way for them to submit to government and remain true to him! I want to know what it is!

 

[Skaloop]

thanks for that, but i was wanting to hear the perspective of someone with the same beliefs as me and how they have dealt with this.

Yeah, that's why I skipped the theological/Christian part of it and tried to focus on the legal/practical matters (as well as what has been happening here in Canada). This subforum isn't all that busy, so I figured I would try to at least give you something.

Anyway, social work is a very noble career to get into due to the help that can be given to so many people who are often already holding a short stick. So best of luck to you in reconciling your personal morals with your desire to help the less fortunate.

Although one question I may ask is how you intend to deal with other sorts of issues that might be unwelcome as a Christian. For example, helping a non-Christian family. Someone not being a Christian goes against God's wishes, just as you believe that homosexual behaviour does. So if you have to make notes that someone is a Buddhist or an atheist or a Jew, would you have moral difficulties with that? Would you not be in some sense endorsing their denial of Jesus? Or would it merely be noting a fact about the person you are trying to help? And how would that be any different from noting that a family is based on a homosexual union?

 

[Bonhoffer]

thanks for that.

Although one question I may ask is how you intend to deal with other sorts of issues that might be unwelcome as a Christian. For example, helping a non-Christian family. Someone not being a Christian goes against God's wishes, just as you believe that homosexual behaviour does. So if you have to make notes that someone is a Buddhist or an atheist or a Jew, would you have moral difficulties with that? Would you not be in some sense endorsing their denial of Jesus? Or would it merely be noting a fact about the person you are trying to help? And how would that be any different from noting that a family is based on a homosexual union?

A lot of social work is helping people to help themselves. So I would have no problem in working with a homosexual couple.

I have no problem in calling Muslims Muslim or atheists atheist because that is what they are. If I had to call a Muslim a Hindu however then that would mean telling a lie.

Calling a gay union a marriage is difficult for me for two reasons a) its not how God defines marriage b) its not (in my eyes) being truthful. Like calling a funeral a baptism or Terminator 3 a romantic comedy!

I suppose I could hold in my mind two definitions of marriage (Gods view and worlds view) and just choose to mean the worlds view when referring to gay partnerships. I do something similar with the word Christian and church already. As I call both the meeting place and the people in the congregation 'church'.

 

[pjsubbie]

Hi, I'm not sure if this will help or not... but...
I work with some people who are getting married this month and are the same sex.currently we just refer to the other as 'her partner' and i assume this will continue after they are married.
The dilemma about boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband is prevented, because i know i am not going to delve into their personal lives to ask 'who is the bride/groom'.
I think its then 'politically correct' and yet from a social working perspective you will have the ability to look at a clients entire support system without this causing internal conflict for yourself.
Partner is also effective in another sense, so i feel it is a good word(even in heterosexual), because in these days if you dont know their marital status offhand(m,c/l,d), but you know they have someone significant, it allows you to bring that conversation up in your therapeutic relationship without applying any judgement. Lots of people aare still legally married but separated, and have a new relationship started before divorce paperwork has been settled. (at least with SK's beautiful court system, results may vary thru provinces.lol)- as a social worker you will want to know their supports (current partner) as well as potential stress(ex) .
partner is a beautiful word!..lol.
just my 1/20th of a cent.
pj