Funny Quotes and Stuff

[Buskanaka]

-I've had it with reality. Now I want a fairy godmother.

-People who snore always fall asleep first.

-People who think they're perfect are very annoying to those of us who really are.

-In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

-Onion ring to rule them all, onion ring to bind them.

-Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

-Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

-Are you too gullible? We can cure you! Send $1,000 to...
-"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

 

[mesue]

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

[loveHIM_liveHIM]

Warning on label for airplane peanuts: May contain nuts.

 

[dsouzaman]

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Why do ingenious/inflammable mean the same thing as genious/flammable?

What would happen if the earth suddenly stopped rotating? Would everyone go flying in one direction at 700 mph?

 

[loveHIM_liveHIM]

there are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't.

 

[Shimmerstar]

It takes a big man to cry.
It takes a bigger man to make him cry...

you can never be too paranoid

I went to buy a pair of camouflauge pants the other day! Couldn't find them anywhere!

 

[en|gma]

These are real stuff I saw here in Australia and made me laugh out loud the first time I saw them:

A Sign inside the Adelaide Botanic Gardens:

Beware of Falling Fruits

The fruits were called squash and they are in vines crawling along the roof of a walkway

Vehicles: Walking Speed Only

(Why drive when U can walk anyway?) Near a lodge in a suburb I live in.

 

[Grammalamma]

It's the same as cash, and that's almost as good as money.
Yogi Berra

 

[PistGurl]

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