Funny lyrics thread

[absolutely_lost_86]

i also reckon

AC/DC - Big Balls
Weird Al - Which Backstreet Boy Is Gay

are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY. but i dont think i should post the lyrics

 

[David Brider]

Imperial Rhapsody
sung to: Bohemian Rhapsody

That is hilarious! Is it by anyone in particular, or just general filk? Anyway, great fun - thanks for posting it.

David.

 

[David Brider]

Weird Al's This song is just six words long (a parody of George Harrison's Got my mind set on you)is one that makes me smile.

David.

 

[David Brider]

Veggie Tales', "Where is my Hairbrush?"
The funny Lyrics:
No hair for my hairbrush
No hair for my hairbrush
No hair, oh where, right there, no fair, oh where, no hair
For my hairbrush

Why They're funny:
This song is funny because the singer of the song is a cucumber named Larry who, having just taken a shower, is searching frantically for his hairbrush. Before this verse, a young asparagus ('Junior') has just pointed out to Larry that he has (in fact) no hair whatsoever

I adore that song...I remember the first time I was introduced to the Veggie Tales, our church was running a youth event that I was helping out at, and one of the other helpers had brought along a video of Veggie Tales songs. It just cracked me up. Fantastic stuff.

David.

 

[David Brider]

One unintentionally funny song is Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the wall - the line "We don't need no education" always cracks me up. Because obviously anyone who can come out with such an appallingly ungrammatical line is clearly in desperate need of education, right away!!!



David.

 

[David Brider]

Also, Mitch Benn (http://www.mitchbenn.com) produces some fantastically funny songs - he's kind of an English Weird Al, a lot of his songs are just generically funny but there are some interesting parodies of specific artists (Never mind the song, look at the stage set clearly owes a lot to Iron Maiden, for instance). I must dig up and post the lyrics to This is the hardest song in the world to find...

David.

 

[KristianJ]

One unintentionally funny song is Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the wall - the line "We don't need no education" always cracks me up. Because obviously anyone who can come out with such an appallingly ungrammatical line is clearly in desperate need of education, right away!!!



David.

Yeah, you would think that being English they'd have some mastery of basic grammar!!

 

[joyshirley]

Some of the lyrics from The Gumboot Song by Fred Dagg​

(Fred is one of NZ's best-loved comedians from the 1970s)​

​

Gumboots, they are wonderful, gumboots, they are swell ​

'coz they keep out the water and they keep in the smell. ​

And when you're sittin' round at home, you can always tell ​

When one of the Trevs has taken off his gumboots. ​

​

​

​

​

​

​

Chorus: ​

If it weren't for your gumboots, where would ya be? ​

You'd be in the hospital or infirmary ​

'coz you would have a dose of the 'flu, or even pleurisy ​

If ya didn't have yer feet in yer gumboots. ​

Now there's rugby boots and racing boots and boots for drinkin' rum. ​

But the only boots I'm never without are the ones that start with "gum". ​

I've got short ones and long ones and some up to me belt. ​

I'm never dressed 'till I've got on me gumboots. ​

​

Chorus: ​

If it weren't for your gumboots, where would ya be? ​

You'd be in the hospital or infirmary ​

'coz you would have a dose of the 'flu, or even pleurisy ​

If ya didn't have yer feet in yer gumboots. ​

​

Whenever I sing at the opera, my gumboots are a must. ​

They help me hit the high notes, and protect me feet from dust. ​

They keep the water well away, so me voice won't get no rust. ​

You will not never see me without me gumboots. ​

​

Chorus: ​

If it weren't for your gumboots, where would ya be? ​

You'd be in the hospital or infirmary ​

'coz you would have a dose of the 'flu, or even pleurisy ​

If ya didn't have yer feet in yer gumboots.​

 

[something from the fridge]

i like the bit in Hilltop Hoods song Dumb Enough.

picture a bunch of Aussie hip hop artists


"I'll make origami of your lyrics"
"Gee that's good suffa, what is it"
"It's a Swan"

 

[KristianJ]

Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he ------ in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "enough is enough

These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows out gunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I adore that song...I remember the first time I was introduced to the Veggie Tales, our church was running a youth event that I was helping out at, and one of the other helpers had brought along a video of Veggie Tales songs. It just cracked me up. Fantastic stuff.

David.

Yes, they indeed crack me up. I also love the Veggie tales... I was first introduced to them through working with the kids in my church...and then I decided I was a fan too, and bought some of the Silly Songs with Lary cd's and I have a couple of the movies too.

Have you checked out 3,2,1 Penguins? They are by Big Idea also, The kids at our church love them too... its pretty funny. I quite enjoy them.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Well now that I am in a Veggie Tales mood, here are some of the funny lyrics from some of my fav Veggie songs:

I Love My Lips

Narrator:
And now it’s time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part
of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.
One day while talking with Dr. Archibald Larry confronts
one of his deepest fears….

Larry:
If my lips ever left my mouth,
Packed a bag and headed south,
That’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.

Dr. Archibald:
I see, that’d be too bad, you’d be so sad?

Larry:
That’d be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Alrighty.

Larry:
If my lips said “Adios,
I don’t like you, I think you’re gross.”
That’d be too bad, I might get mad.

Dr. Archibald:
Hm, that’d be too bad, you might get mad?

Larry:
That’d be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Fascinating.

Larry:
If my lips moved to Duluth
Left a mess and took my tooth.
That’d be too bad, I’d call my Dad.

Dr. Archibald:
Oh dear, that’d be too bad, you’d call your dad?

Larry:
That’d be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Hold it. Did you say your father? Facinating!
So what you’re saying is if your lips left you?

Larry:
That’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.
I might get mad, I call my Dad.
That’d be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
That’d be too bad?

Larry:
That’d be too bad.

Dr. Archibald:
Why?

Larry:
Because I love my lips. (makes noises in tune with his lips)

Dr. Archibald:
Oh my! This is more serious than I thought.
Larry, what do you see here?

Larry:
Um, that looks like a lip.

Dr. Archibald:
What about this?

Larry:
It’s a lip.

Dr. Archibald:
And this?

Larry:
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, lip, lip.

Dr. Archibald:
Larry, tell me about your childhood.

Larry:
When I was just two years old,
I left my lips out in the cold.
And they turned blue,
What could I do?

Dr. Archibald:
Oh dear. They turned blue,
What could you do?

Larry:
Oh, They turned blue.

Dr. Archibald:
I see.

Larry:
On the day I got my tooth,
I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth.
She had a beard and it felt weird.

Dr. Archibald:
My, my, she had a beard
And it felt weird?

Larry:
She had a beard.

Dr. Archibald:
Oh!

Larry:
Ten days after I turned 8,
Got my lips stuck in a gate
My friends all laughed…

And I just stood there until the fire department came
and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend
the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar
who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn’t
even talk to each other until the fifth week because both
our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking
he just spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish
except now I know four because Oscar taught me the
word for lip, “Usta”.

Dr. Archibald:
Your friends all laughed. Usta. How do you spell that?

Larry:
I don’t know.

Dr. Archibald:
So what you’re saying is that when you were young?

Larry:
They turned blue, what could I do?
She had a beard, and it felt weird.
My friends all laughed, usta.

Dr. Archibald:
I’m confused.

Larry:
I love my lips!

 

[Izzy23]

Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded By The Light

Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night

Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the summer
with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps
his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older, I tripped
the merry-go-round
With the stereo pleasin' and sneezin' and wheezin, the calliope crashed
to the ground

The calliope crashed to the ground

Oh she was...
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another
runner in the night
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another
runner in the night
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another
runner in the night
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night

Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I got what
it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong, play the
song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather charts to see
if it was safe outside
And little Early-birdy came by in his curly-wurly and asked me
if I needed a ride

Asked me if I needed a ride

Oh she was...
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another
runner in the night
Blinded by the light,

She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night

But mama, that's where the fun is
But mama, that's where the fun is
Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is

Some brimstone baritone Andy Sack from rolling stone preacher
from the east
Says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner,
watching the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone,
reminding him of romance

The calliope crashed to the ground

Cos she was...
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another
runner in the night
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another
runner in the night

Chorus

Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the
Summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent
pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With the stereo pleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
Now Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot
and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not said daddy's
within earshot save the buckshot,
turn up the band

Some silicone sister with a manager mister told
me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong"

She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night

 

[absolutely_lost_86]

Adam Sandler - Hanukkah song is MAAAD

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Adam Sandler - Hanukkah song is MAAAD

LOL... its so terrible!

 

[KristianJ]

I'd post the lyrics to the song that Adam Sandler sings in "The Wedding Singer" (named "Somebody Kill Me") but it is undoubetly too coarse for public viewing. But I laughed my head off when I first saw the movie and that particular scene

 

[P4g4nite]

The devil went to Jamaica-Wierd Al


The devil went to Jamaica
he was lookin' to sell some weed
he was doin' fine
they were standin' in line
it was excellent weed indeed
when he came across a young man
who was likewise peddelin' pot
and the devil slid down the beach to the kid
and said "boy lemme tell you what"
i guess you kinda figured I'm a reefer head of course
and after all this time
i guess that i'm
a connoisseur of sorts
now your stuff smells ok
but this could tranquilize a horse
i'll bet a million in cash
against your stash
coz i think mine's better than yours
the boy said "my name's johnny and you ain't smoked nothin' yet"
one hit of this grass
will kick your ass
you got yourself a bet

johnny roll a ball of hash
and make sure it's the bomb
coz the devil's got the kind of stuff
they smoked in vietnam
you'll get a million smackaroo's
in cash if you cash if you can cook,
but if you can't devil'll get your dope

the devil packed a bong
with a little acapulco gold
and resin flew from his fingertips
as he fired up his bowl
he filled that chamber all the way
and he took a mighty hit
as they passed it back and forth
it gave'em both a coughin' fit
when the bowl was finished johnny said
"hey man that stuff was great"
but fill your lungs with some of this
and prepare to vegetate
cannabis,apeeva,sweet mary jane
the devil's in the back yard fryin' his brain
zig zag filled with a diggity dang
hold on tight it'll hit you like a tank
the devil nodded off because he knew that he was stoned
and he asked if he could buy an ounce of the stuff that johnny owned.
johnny said "devil just come on back if you ever wanna catch a buzz"
i done told you once you son of a *****,
mine's the best there ever was
then they..

fired up doobies one by one,
ain't gonna stop 'til the bag's done
green as a bullfrog,
sticky as glue
granted you'll get high,
yes i do