Fundamental Question

[Sketcher]

I'm new to this, so please bear with me.

There's a woman I've talking to and have gone on a date with. So far, so good. She'd like to know what I'm doing this weekend. I'd really like to see "Snakes On A Plane" when it opens, but as you've probably guessed by now it is for a very niche audience. For those of you who don't know, seeing a movie on opening night with a lot of hype is a much more fun experience than seeing it any old night. So I was planning to see it and not tell her about it, since we don't know each other that well and I don't want to give a bad impression.

Am I doing right here? Is there a way I could pull this off better? I'd like to do something with her this weekend, but I don't like the idea of trying to sneak around something in my schedule. It would just look bad.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I'm confused. Why would seeing Snakes on a Plane give her a bad impression of yourself?

 

[intricatic]

Well, I'd just tell her. If it's something she's actually interested in seeing, would you have a problem having her come with you? If the answer's yes, I'd just say; Tell her that, as well. Be nice about it, you both need your own space, ya know?
If the answer is no; well, there ya go!

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

I would tell her what you are doing, and say she is welcome to come if she so wants to. Who knows, she may have the same taste as you! And if not, at least she has learned more information about you.

What do you get from hiding that info from her?

 

[Blank123]

I don't see why you would have to keep it a secret. who knows? she may be interested in seeing that movie too and it could be another excuse for you to spend time with

if you're hoping to see this turn into something more serious at some point down the road she's gonna find out that you like those kind of movies eventually, so I really can't see any reason to hide this from her

 

[Sketcher]

I don't see why you would have to keep it a secret. who knows? she may be interested in seeing that movie too and it could be another excuse for you to spend time with

if you're hoping to see this turn into something more serious at some point down the road she's gonna find out that you like those kind of movies eventually, so I really can't see any reason to hide this from her

Hmm. It's not about hiding it from her so much as not wanting to make it our second date. I'm concerned that if I say "No, Friday night is taken" she'll feel excluded.

 

[porterross]

So is it that you want to see the movie with friends INSTEAD of her? What's wrong with that?

If so, just tell her you're already to committed to plans with some friends Friday night, but you're free and willing Saturday night, if you indeed are.

If you start behaving as though you're already committed, she may begin to think so as well.

just my antique $0.02

 

[Princess Pea]

^^ What she said.

You wouldn't even have to say that Friday is taken, just that you'd love to see her, and would Saturday work? If not, offer her some other options - Sunday afternoon? Monday evening? If I were in her shoes I'd be so happy you wanted a second date the next weekend that it wouldn't occur to me to feel excluded. If, however, you were being noticably secretive about what you were doing on Friday night I might wonder if you were hiding something, like a date with another girl. Just a thought ...

And I also agree about not trying to hide the snake thing. Let her see who you are so she can decide if she likes the real you. (Not that you have to belch in front of her or anything. That would be going too far for a second date.)

 

[Markus6]

Tell her you're busy! Tell her you're busy Saturday night too. Tell her you're busy every weekend. You've got a busy hectic social life, is that you're problem? Do something in the middle of the week. She won't feel excluded. You've only been on one date, if you have to do everything with her already then she's not worth the effort. Make sure she realises that you're life isn't empty without her and she's lucky to get the time with you she does. Good luck.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Tell her you're busy! Tell her you're busy Saturday night too. Tell her you're busy every weekend. You've got a busy hectic social life, is that you're problem? Do something in the middle of the week. She won't feel excluded. You've only been on one date, if you have to do everything with her already then she's not worth the effort. Make sure she realises that you're life isn't empty without her and she's lucky to get the time with you she does. Good luck.

I'm going to reccomend not doing the above.

I suggest that you ask about doing something Saturday or Sunday. That should be plenty at this stage.

 

[f U z ! o N]

Tell her you're busy! Tell her you're busy Saturday night too. Tell her you're busy every weekend. You've got a busy hectic social life, is that you're problem? Do something in the middle of the week. She won't feel excluded. You've only been on one date, if you have to do everything with her already then she's not worth the effort. Make sure she realises that you're life isn't empty without her and she's lucky to get the time with you she does. Good luck.

thats a GREAT way to remain single!!

 

[Tuffguy]

I'd tell her that you have plans with some friends on Friday night but you're free Saturday or whenever.

Its important to let girls know that you have a friend schedule in addition to them. The sooner the better.