frustrations

[Torah613]

I am going through a very rough patch in my life right now. i cannot put in words the depth of my sorrow, misery, and pain. For instance this evening, a very long-time friend and I got drunk (it was her boyfriends 21st). To be truthful I was not really truly drunk, but had a little bit of a buzz. She however was drunk beyond belief.

Well, you know how they say the truth comes out when your drunk? well its apparently a good maxim. This friend, who I had loved more than life itself, who was one of only 4 people currently alive I would die for, who was more like a sister to me than my actual blood brother has ever been to me, who was in my will for Christsake, decided it was apropriate to tell me that I'm too gay. How can you be too gay? either you are or you aren't.

When my brother practically disowned me, when I was a victim of a hatecrime, when my best friend in the whole world turned his back on me, when my good friend and spiritual mentor was killed by a drunk driver, when everyone I knew and cared about in my family died. I could go on, but the point is I've never felt such pain. For the first time in my life, I'm truly alone.

sometimes I wish I wasn't a Christian so I could just end all this suffering, misery and pain---but alas it is not God's way.


Please forgive this interuption into normal programing. I just had to vent.

Joe Zollars

 

[NRSVFan]

I'm so sorry that you feel like this. I have experienced lows and depression at times in my life, so I know what it can be like.

This may not be exactly what you want to hear right now, but remember that Jesus loves you and is there for you. Remember that He said to come to Him all who labour and are burdened.

I pray you'll feel better soon.

 

[wiggsfly]

Hey man, there is always someone out there that will listen. You are never truly alone in this world. Even beyond God, all it takes is a couple of words in a place like this and we'll all do what we can to help ya out.

 

[112657]

Joe...you aren't alone. You have Jesus, and you have us. And, Jesus is constant, and He will place others in your life. This too shall pass...I have been where you are, and more than once. Just when I think I am destined to die with 20 cats and no human contact, a swarm of folks (new and old) enter my life. Just breathe and pray. He'll get you through. And in the meantime, I hear CaDan has some ice cream...

Praying for you...

 

[Buttermilk]

 

[Abiel]

((((((((((((((((Joe)))))))))))))))))

 

[abadsign]

Much love to you, Joe.

Do you think it would be a good idea to call her and talk to her about how she made you feel? I think it would, not as a way to ask her to "take it back" but to keep your feelings in the open so that your friendship has a hope of continuing.

Realize, Joe, that when you are plagued by thoughts of taking your life, this is a sign of real depression and it doesn't just go away like we wish it would. I know, I've been beat down by my mind many times, for months and months at a time. Please, talk to a therapist, a licensed therapist or psychologist. This doesn't necessarily have to mean using medications, but you need someone to talk to who can understand what you're feeling and give you advice you can use.

This might help you get started:
http://gaylife.about.com/od/healthfitness/a/therapist.htm

 

[Multi-Elis]

This is the best comfort I can give you. It might take a few minutes to down load. You will probably have to right click on it and do "save as". I think we should start a thread on the phenominon of loneliness. I know it's horrible.

 

[Torah613]

thank you all for your kind words. I feel much better today, but of course there is still stuff that has to be dealt with.

Joe Zollars

 

[Gukkor]

Keep strong, friend. In a world of over 6 billion people and a God who loves everyone more than they can possibly comprehend, I think it's safe to say that you're never truly alone, though sorrow and loss may make you feel so.

Personally, I've been feeling some lonliness myself as of late, though of far less significance and intensity than I'm sure yours must be. Just remember, there will always be someone, somewhere who will listen and give you comfort and support.

 

[artrx]

You are God's creation. Nothing can separate you from Yahweh's love.