...Steele being sicker than a dog (he's thrown up twice in the last hour) and my ex intentionally being an hour late and counting for pick-up as of right now.
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Frustration is...
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FlatpickingJD
Losing the battle with oxalis
I'm sorry to hear about both problems. The first you can handle, the second maybe you'll document and let your lawyer know about at some point?
Prayers for both situations, regardless.
Prayers for both situations, regardless.
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Thanks for the prayers. I have 2 years' worth of documentation that I just keep adding to for now. We are going to be back in court shortly to address these problems. It's all mind games/control issues with my ex. I'm over it - but it ticks me off that the kids sit and wait b/c their dad is trying to prove some ridiculous point to me. 
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FlatpickingJD
Losing the battle with oxalis
It's ALWAYS the kids that get hurt when either parent plays games.
It's like when a father asks me if there's any way he can LOWER his child support, and will say 'I don't want that b***h to get another dime from me.' They don't realize that it's CHILD support, not SPOUSAL support.
And I don't use that emoticon lightly.
Don't get me started.
Sorry you and your kids are going through this.
It's like when a father asks me if there's any way he can LOWER his child support, and will say 'I don't want that b***h to get another dime from me.' They don't realize that it's CHILD support, not SPOUSAL support.
And I don't use that emoticon lightly.
Don't get me started.
Sorry you and your kids are going through this.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
Awww man! I'm sorry Steele is sick and that your ex is being such a *bleep*
Did he ever show up???
Did he ever show up???
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He showed and I showed restraint and didn't say a word - other to tell him stuff about the kids.
I've a mutual friend with XH that I'm going to call and see if she'll stop by tomorrow and check on Steele (she's a nurse). She stops by his house a lot to see the kids, so it won't seem strange for her to be there. If he's in bad shape, she'll speak up - and call me, if necessary.
I've a mutual friend with XH that I'm going to call and see if she'll stop by tomorrow and check on Steele (she's a nurse). She stops by his house a lot to see the kids, so it won't seem strange for her to be there. If he's in bad shape, she'll speak up - and call me, if necessary.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
Good plan! I'm glad you have a friend that can stop by and check up on Steele....you're a good Mommy!
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Some days, I feel like WarriorMommy.
Good plan! I'm glad you have a friend that can stop by and check up on Steele....you're a good Mommy!
But thanks for the compliment.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
Being WarriorMommy when it is necessary IS being a good Mommy!!!Some days, I feel like WarriorMommy.
But thanks for the compliment.
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GritsnGrace
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What is he trying to prove? That he can't tell time???Thanks for the prayers. I have 2 years' worth of documentation that I just keep adding to for now. We are going to be back in court shortly to address these problems. It's all mind games/control issues with my ex. I'm over it - but it ticks me off that the kids sit and wait b/c their dad is trying to prove some ridiculous point to me.
But, I knoiw the feeling, my ex is a control freak, too. Got LOTS of stories!Ruh Roh!! Bringing out the lawyer in him!!!It's ALWAYS the kids that get hurt when either parent plays games.
It's like when a father asks me if there's any way he can LOWER his child support, and will say 'I don't want that b***h to get another dime from me.' They don't realize that it's CHILD support, not SPOUSAL support.
And I don't use that emoticon lightly.
Don't get me started.
Sorry you and your kids are going through this.
But, he is absolutley right!Some days, I feel like WarriorMommy.
But thanks for the compliment.
That's the reason I chose mamabear as my original username!
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It's not even worth explaining why he's intentionally late - that is just one part of the story to the exchange situation. The rest of the story would probably cause JD to truly blow his gasket. So, suffice it to say that my ex is a monumental jerk.
And yes, I hear you about the mamabear stuff, grammy. I am fortunate that I have been able to keep my cool up to this point, but I'm getting ready to rain hellfire and brimstone all over my ex in court. If this hasn't been the biggest lesson in patience I've ever had, I don't know what is. lol
So, suffice it to say that my ex is a monumental jerk.And yes, I hear you about the mamabear stuff, grammy. I am fortunate that I have been able to keep my cool up to this point, but I'm getting ready to rain hellfire and brimstone all over my ex in court. If this hasn't been the biggest lesson in patience I've ever had, I don't know what is. lol
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GritsnGrace
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It's not even worth explaining why he's intentionally late - that is just one part of the story to the exchange situation. The rest of the story would probably cause JD to truly blow his gasket.
And yes, I hear you about the mamabear stuff, grammy. I am fortunate that I have been able to keep my cool up to this point, but I'm getting ready to rain hellfire and brimstone all over my ex in court. If this hasn't been the biggest lesson in patience I've ever had, I don't know what is. lol
Well, it seems to me, that being late doesn't look good on his part, unless he just doesn't care (he could say, well, at least I showed up!
) Mine, I never really had to worry about, as far as getting her for the weekend, because he was always in another state. HE made sure the visitation agrrment said, 6-8 weeks in the summer, every other Christmas, and every other Thanksgiving! He had one only 2 full summers in 10 years, just a few days at a time, about 3 others, the rest nothing! The last summer she was there was 2000, and it blew up in his face!! He tried to take custody of her, but it didn't work! And she hasn't been back since!! She was 14! Oh, and he only got her one Christmas!
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I don't understand parents that can just walk away from their kids.Well, it seems to me, that being late doesn't look good on his part, unless he just doesn't care (he could say, well, at least I showed up!
It's more common than some people realize tho - so sad for the kids. Although, I think that sometimes an absent parent is a better option than having a parent that is neglectful or uses the kids as pawns in some twisted control game they've got going in their head.Either way, divorce is a lose/lose situation for everyone involved 9 times out of 10. I hate divorce and I hate what it does to the kids even more.
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FlatpickingJD
Losing the battle with oxalis
I don't understand that either, fng, and it's one of the things that really, really saddens me. I don't get angry over it, because there's no point. I hurt for the kids, and the ex spouse who's hurting because the kids are hurting.
What we've talked about in this thread are just a few reasons I can't do family law anymore. It's just painful to watch, and other than helping someone get out of a bad marriage, I don't know that we do much good.
And I don't know if it helps or means anything, but some studies have shown that women tend to do better after divorce than the man. In the short term, the man does better but, over time, the woman tends to recover more quickly from the divorce, is more likely to prosper financially, and generally more content if not happier than the man.
So fng you've got something to look forward to.
What we've talked about in this thread are just a few reasons I can't do family law anymore. It's just painful to watch, and other than helping someone get out of a bad marriage, I don't know that we do much good.
And I don't know if it helps or means anything, but some studies have shown that women tend to do better after divorce than the man. In the short term, the man does better but, over time, the woman tends to recover more quickly from the divorce, is more likely to prosper financially, and generally more content if not happier than the man.
So fng you've got something to look forward to.
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
We're living it. I decided a long time ago that it was probably best that my ex wasn't around to be a bad example. I have to look at it that way in order to be positive about it. My son does miss his dad though.I don't understand parents that can just walk away from their kids.
Either way, divorce is a lose/lose situation for everyone involved 9 times out of 10. I hate divorce and I hate what it does to the kids even more.
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I can imagine that it would be a very difficult area of law to practice. My attorney gets very frustrated with the antics my ex subjects me to - and does a good job of encouraging me to stay the path and continue doing the right thing. He has told me several times that I am one of his favorite clients b/c it is apparent to him that I am fair and that my decisions are made prayerfully (he's a Christian) and with the kids' best interests in mind.I don't understand that either, fng, and it's one of the things that really, really saddens me. I don't get angry over it, because there's no point. I hurt for the kids, and the ex spouse who's hurting because the kids are hurting.
What we've talked about in this thread are just a few reasons I can't do family law anymore. It's just painful to watch, and other than helping someone get out of a bad marriage, I don't know that we do much good.
And I don't know if it helps or means anything, but some studies have shown that women tend to do better after divorce than the man. In the short term, the man does better but, over time, the woman tends to recover more quickly from the divorce, is more likely to prosper financially, and generally more content if not happier than the man.
So fng you've got something to look forward to.
I've actually done very well in the last two years. I think that is one of the things that has frustrated my ex so much - I haven't "suffered" the way he told me I would if I left him. I have actually done amazingly well. I've set some realistic goals for myself and have met them along the way. I am so grateful for being so blessed. I can definitely feel God at work in my life.
Thanks for the encouragement, JD.
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The thing that concerns me the most is the care of the kids when they are with him. This has been the biggest area of concern for me - and I have documented my concerns well. I wish that my boys had a father that was capable of being a healthy, stable participant in their lives. But, the reality is that he is neither healthy nor stable, so I am taking the necessary actions to try and protect my children.
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I agree. Its that 1 in a hundred that gives the rest a bad name. Im hoping im not the 1 though.
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I agree. Its that 1 in a hundred that gives the rest a bad name. Im hoping im not the 1 though.
I know that not all men are like that - and actually one of my posts referenced "parents" b/c I know there are mothers that are just as irresponsible.
Unfortunately, I think that the non-custodial parents that are responsible, stable parents are the minority rather than the majority. Ironically, it seems that a lot of the stable non-custodial parents often are working with unstable custodial parents.
Which brings me back to my belief that divorce stinks. *thumbs down*
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