- Feb 24, 2009
- 17
- 1
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- UK-Conservative
I was born into a fantastic family, I never wanted for anything, I am loved, supported and cherished and I now that they will always be there for me.
My family are Non-Christians. That is the only complaint I have. In every other way they are perfect and I count myself very blessed.
I have been told that as a child I had an imaginary friend called Olivan. Although I should be too young to remember I have some vague recollections of my friend being a little girl who was very bossy, but very comforting.
I stopped thinking about Olivan when I was about six but I would always tell my mum I saw monsters and ghosts when I was little and I would sleep with the light on outside my bedroom. Many people simply saw a little girl with an over active imagination. I know what I was seeing was real. The first vivid image I had was when I was about seven. I was brushing my teeth when I saw a face at the window of my parents house. (The house I was raised in is 500 years old so it has a lot of history)The face was inhuman, it was a dark red and had reptilian scales, its eyes were black and its features were indescribable. I cant remember if I screamed or not.
Over time I grew used to seeing what I believed were ghosts. It wasnt unusual, it was an almost daily occurrence and they didnt scare me. In fact it was comforting, and it was almost like I was part of a special club because I could see them and nobody else could. I thought my mum was the most amazing person in the world who knew everything and she told me that I wasnt seeing anything and it was all I my imagination so I stopped telling her because I didnt want her to think I was silly or weird.
On my 13th birthday I had ten friends over for a sleepover, we took a walk through the old country roads to a derelict church about two miles away. On the way the girls were singing Daisy Daisy and we were all laughing and joking about. When we got to the church it had become dusky. There was a gravestone right in front of the opening to the graveyard and it had DAISY DAISY written on it in big bold letters. The girls were all incredibly scared and were screaming and running away. I wasnt surprised at all. This was all part of daily life for me. What did surprise me was when we went back to the church the next day and the grave was gone.
When I turned 14 one of my friends introduced me to Wicca. A seemingly harmless nature based religion that revolved around the earth and using incantations and spells to use the earths powers to benefit you where a threefold rule applied. What ever you cast out would be returned to you three times over.
There is a god and goddess but only the Goddess is worshipped. All Wiccans have an altar and they base his or her work upon the five elements (fire, water, air, earth and spirit) and religious symbols such as pentagrams(each point of the pentagram symbolises an element). I would cast spells, but try to ensure the spells did not hurt anyone, because I didnt want the threefold comeuppance. The magic I performed was inside a sacred circle, Wiccan spells are usually about love and healing. I was told that the spells worked because nature would have to conform with my will and the goddess would grant this.
The Wiccan saying "an it harm none, do what ye will greatly influenced my life in this stage because I believed that if I didnt hurt anyone I was protected.
There is no religious text such as the bible to follow so each individual witch or coven will have a book of shadows. The book of shadows is kept private and is only allowed to be seen by the members of the group. Usually a coven is lead by a high priest and priestess.
In any bookshop, there is access to books that are about spells and witches or pagans. Waterstones for instance has a large collection, In most stores this section is triple the size of the Christian area. I owned a few of these books and I recall showing one to my mother. She flicked through it and said I must make sure you are careful when using candles
The friend that initially introduced me to this moved away and we stopped meeting up to practice, but alone I would call my guiding angel.
I had become interested in the many different areas of spirituality and was using horoscopes, tarot and Ouija regularly.
After some time I was able to levitate, not very high but when on my back about two inches, and Astral Project.
Astral Projection is the art of being able to allow your spiritual body to lift above your physical being. Some people describe it as simply an out of body experience
There are even how to project videos on youtube now.
I was able to see events that were happening but these increasingly because more and more violent.
I realised that mirrors are not all they seem. As I grew older the attraction to mirrors grew and I would be able to see shadows in them. A friend of mine told she invoked a spirit and it apperated from within the mirror.
At the age of Fifteen I came into contact with ghosts that were more and more confident. They would touch me and speak to me, They would bang on my door and window. I cannot believe now that I thought this made me special.
My life continued in this vein until I met my now husband. Although not the most ideal of meetings. We were both non Christians, although he was raised in a Christian home, and we grew close through discussing shared interests such as the illuminati and New World Order.
We slept together and he seemed to take on some of my power and we had dreams where we could communicate and speak to each other. This could easily have lead us down the wrong path but one evening we decided to give our hearts to God with a simple prayer. That evening I had the most peaceful sleep.
The following days however were incredibly difficult. The ghosts I was seeing were always there and Richard and I were suffering from sleep paralysis.
We had problems with work and family and I fell ill with Chest Pain. Doctors could find no cause for my pain, although I was clearly in agony and I lost nearly three stone. I now know that this is quite common for those who are coming out of the occult.
Yes, what I had involved myself in was the occult and was lead by Satan, this shows how millions of people are easily deceived.
However Jesus Christ provided a beacon of light throughout this dark time. The only contact I had with the bible before this phase of my life was the study of RE for a GCSE and a childs bible I had from somewhere that popped up when I was a child. I remember it was an A4 hard backed ochre colour with red script on the spine. Never had I seen or heard a scripture.
After a particularly difficult day I sat in the car with Richard, ready to cry and wondering what I was doing, my life had been so easy! We were bickering with each other because we were living on a maximum of two hours sleep a night and we both knew that when we went home we wouldnt be able to relax. Taps would turn themselves on, a room would turn deathly cold and the air would prickle, the attic door would open and pictures would sway on the walls.
Suddenly I felt a warm feeling and I started speaking the whole of 1 Corinthians 13. I didnt know how but I knew it, I had never even heard it before! We drove home as fast as we could, and strangely enough we had bought a bible the previous day. What I was reciting was perfect King James Version.
From that scripture we knew God was with us and we would have to work through this together.
It was NOT easy. We felt it placed on our hearts that we should be revealing everything about ourselves to each other. We had to share the most shameful experiences and tell each other the sins that we had committed in our lives.
We started going to church and immediately signed up to join a small group that would meet up each Wednesday. Praise God he put us in a group where the leader had come out of the occult. He knew exactly what we should be doing and talked us though the spiritual cleansing of our home and supported us.
We knew that we should not be sleeping together and so we repented. We also knew we had been placed together and Richard asked me to marry him, we agreed that the wedding would be when God was ready. So we waited on his word.
At this time we were still living in the same house but following Gods word. We prayed and prayed if we should be living together, each time we did one of us would get a very clear scripture about supporting each other. We knew we could be deceived so we asked God to let us know if we were wrong and we would live under the same roof until he told us otherwise. We met two couples in church both on the leadership team who told us that they had lived together under Gods will whilst engaged, we felt that we were following his word.
One afternoon I was compelled to read Matthew 10:36. your worst enemies will be members of your own family Good News Bible
I called Richard and told him, we were both left quite puzzled but thought perhaps I had got it wrong. That evening someone in Richards family started to tell falsehoods about us. She embellished and elaborated stories and we later discovered had been doing so for quite some time. My mother-in-law is a Christian and she had been listening to this with some concern, she was slowly starting to think I was unchristian and perhaps evil.
Richard dealt with that ever so well, he explained the scripture we had received that day and explained to his mother that Pauline* has a questionable nature and is not adverse to being dishonest, he begged his mother to believe him, and eventually she came round.
About six weeks passed and Richard had not heard from his mother Helen.* We were having such a pressing time with the constant attacks we were coming under and we were trying to follow Gods instructions, we were full of passion and spending all our spare time discussing God, praying and worshipping. However due to the stress we were still bickering amongst ourselves. We had forgiven Pauline for what she had done and she and her boyfriend had separated, we were trusting her with our troubles and listening to hers. We were struggling to close every legal foothold the demons had on us. Richard called Helen to called her to ask what was going on and she rounded on him, telling him that we were unholy and should not be getting married. He was accused of bearing no fruit. It was one of the most awful moments of my life, looking at the pain on his face as he was accused of this by someone he loved so much. He questioned why she was saying these things to him when they were not true. Pauline had been manipulating and falsifying the things we were discussing in confidence with her and again had deceived Helen. Again he explained the situation and Helen apologised, promising she would never again listen to Pauline and would clarify everything with Richard first.
We decided to never even mention the incident to Pauline and instead forgive her and just be very careful in what we said in future.
A little later Pauline began to spend time with her ex partner David and he was spending nights, weekends, weeks sleeping at her house. They denied they were together and both gave Richard and I grief about living together saying they did not believe we were living by Gods Word and we were sinful. This did not bother us as our main concern was that God knew our heart, but it was of course still unfavourable.
One day Richard and I had a massive falling out, the stress of five months of illness and sleep depravation was too much, we shouted at each other for hours and I felt so angry I wouldnt leave Richard alone. I later retold Pauline that it was so bad he had to push me down each step of the stairs to get me out the house! What a pain I was being!
We had a nice afternoon. Pauline spoke about how David was struggling with Pornography and she was so glad it was over. I told her David was trying to date another girl Chloe anyway so she shouldnt worry.
Pauline confessed she didnt want David, but she didnt want anyone else to have him either. It was a typical girly chat.
We went away on holiday and Helen house sat for us so someone would be here for the cat.
We arrived back and saw Helen who confronted us. Pauline and her partner had yet again been spreading vile lies about us, I has allegedly said that I dont love God and am a non-Christian and she had also said that I said Richard pushed me down the stairs and was beating me. I was gob smacked that someone could be so heartless, and I was angry and heartbroken that I had to watch Richard go through this again, he had lived his life protecting his mother and he was dealing with this constant rejection, it made me want to scream. That day I cut my losses and realised that Pauline deserves my righteous anger but I could not let it consume me. The way it was going I was re-considering our imminent marriage because I knew I would have to live with Pauline in my life.
The cycle of demonic attack and Gods blessings lasted 7 months before I was strong enough to protect myself. Now when Pauline jealously attacks I dont feel that intense rage, I feel distaste and pity for her. God brings all sin to attention anyway. Pauline and David produced an illegitimate child and I believe God gave them the baby so her hypocrisy was brought to light. Richard and I completed a cleansing stream course with the church, When it came to the retreat weekend I rid my body of the few remaining demons that were hiding away, I had different people praying for me throughout (they do this to ensure confidentiality) most of them recieved a word of knowledge, that from the moment I was born I was promised to Satan. This does not suprise me because my grandmonthers family are gypsies and witches and I was the firstborn child of my generation.
We were married soon after. In Gods perfect timing
The Lord has blessed me with his presence and gifts. He has given me a perfect partner whom I was placed with by God himself.
There is nothing more I could wish for yet the Lord just keeps on giving. He gives me knowledge, words of wisdom, visions and scriptures.
My life is nothing without God and all that he desires to give me, and if it all went tomorrow I would still serve him because I know that he really is the one true Lord, the Alpha and Omega.
My family are Non-Christians. That is the only complaint I have. In every other way they are perfect and I count myself very blessed.
I have been told that as a child I had an imaginary friend called Olivan. Although I should be too young to remember I have some vague recollections of my friend being a little girl who was very bossy, but very comforting.
I stopped thinking about Olivan when I was about six but I would always tell my mum I saw monsters and ghosts when I was little and I would sleep with the light on outside my bedroom. Many people simply saw a little girl with an over active imagination. I know what I was seeing was real. The first vivid image I had was when I was about seven. I was brushing my teeth when I saw a face at the window of my parents house. (The house I was raised in is 500 years old so it has a lot of history)The face was inhuman, it was a dark red and had reptilian scales, its eyes were black and its features were indescribable. I cant remember if I screamed or not.
Over time I grew used to seeing what I believed were ghosts. It wasnt unusual, it was an almost daily occurrence and they didnt scare me. In fact it was comforting, and it was almost like I was part of a special club because I could see them and nobody else could. I thought my mum was the most amazing person in the world who knew everything and she told me that I wasnt seeing anything and it was all I my imagination so I stopped telling her because I didnt want her to think I was silly or weird.
On my 13th birthday I had ten friends over for a sleepover, we took a walk through the old country roads to a derelict church about two miles away. On the way the girls were singing Daisy Daisy and we were all laughing and joking about. When we got to the church it had become dusky. There was a gravestone right in front of the opening to the graveyard and it had DAISY DAISY written on it in big bold letters. The girls were all incredibly scared and were screaming and running away. I wasnt surprised at all. This was all part of daily life for me. What did surprise me was when we went back to the church the next day and the grave was gone.
When I turned 14 one of my friends introduced me to Wicca. A seemingly harmless nature based religion that revolved around the earth and using incantations and spells to use the earths powers to benefit you where a threefold rule applied. What ever you cast out would be returned to you three times over.
There is a god and goddess but only the Goddess is worshipped. All Wiccans have an altar and they base his or her work upon the five elements (fire, water, air, earth and spirit) and religious symbols such as pentagrams(each point of the pentagram symbolises an element). I would cast spells, but try to ensure the spells did not hurt anyone, because I didnt want the threefold comeuppance. The magic I performed was inside a sacred circle, Wiccan spells are usually about love and healing. I was told that the spells worked because nature would have to conform with my will and the goddess would grant this.
The Wiccan saying "an it harm none, do what ye will greatly influenced my life in this stage because I believed that if I didnt hurt anyone I was protected.
There is no religious text such as the bible to follow so each individual witch or coven will have a book of shadows. The book of shadows is kept private and is only allowed to be seen by the members of the group. Usually a coven is lead by a high priest and priestess.
In any bookshop, there is access to books that are about spells and witches or pagans. Waterstones for instance has a large collection, In most stores this section is triple the size of the Christian area. I owned a few of these books and I recall showing one to my mother. She flicked through it and said I must make sure you are careful when using candles
The friend that initially introduced me to this moved away and we stopped meeting up to practice, but alone I would call my guiding angel.
I had become interested in the many different areas of spirituality and was using horoscopes, tarot and Ouija regularly.
After some time I was able to levitate, not very high but when on my back about two inches, and Astral Project.
Astral Projection is the art of being able to allow your spiritual body to lift above your physical being. Some people describe it as simply an out of body experience
There are even how to project videos on youtube now.
I was able to see events that were happening but these increasingly because more and more violent.
I realised that mirrors are not all they seem. As I grew older the attraction to mirrors grew and I would be able to see shadows in them. A friend of mine told she invoked a spirit and it apperated from within the mirror.
At the age of Fifteen I came into contact with ghosts that were more and more confident. They would touch me and speak to me, They would bang on my door and window. I cannot believe now that I thought this made me special.
My life continued in this vein until I met my now husband. Although not the most ideal of meetings. We were both non Christians, although he was raised in a Christian home, and we grew close through discussing shared interests such as the illuminati and New World Order.
We slept together and he seemed to take on some of my power and we had dreams where we could communicate and speak to each other. This could easily have lead us down the wrong path but one evening we decided to give our hearts to God with a simple prayer. That evening I had the most peaceful sleep.
The following days however were incredibly difficult. The ghosts I was seeing were always there and Richard and I were suffering from sleep paralysis.
We had problems with work and family and I fell ill with Chest Pain. Doctors could find no cause for my pain, although I was clearly in agony and I lost nearly three stone. I now know that this is quite common for those who are coming out of the occult.
Yes, what I had involved myself in was the occult and was lead by Satan, this shows how millions of people are easily deceived.
However Jesus Christ provided a beacon of light throughout this dark time. The only contact I had with the bible before this phase of my life was the study of RE for a GCSE and a childs bible I had from somewhere that popped up when I was a child. I remember it was an A4 hard backed ochre colour with red script on the spine. Never had I seen or heard a scripture.
After a particularly difficult day I sat in the car with Richard, ready to cry and wondering what I was doing, my life had been so easy! We were bickering with each other because we were living on a maximum of two hours sleep a night and we both knew that when we went home we wouldnt be able to relax. Taps would turn themselves on, a room would turn deathly cold and the air would prickle, the attic door would open and pictures would sway on the walls.
Suddenly I felt a warm feeling and I started speaking the whole of 1 Corinthians 13. I didnt know how but I knew it, I had never even heard it before! We drove home as fast as we could, and strangely enough we had bought a bible the previous day. What I was reciting was perfect King James Version.
From that scripture we knew God was with us and we would have to work through this together.
It was NOT easy. We felt it placed on our hearts that we should be revealing everything about ourselves to each other. We had to share the most shameful experiences and tell each other the sins that we had committed in our lives.
We started going to church and immediately signed up to join a small group that would meet up each Wednesday. Praise God he put us in a group where the leader had come out of the occult. He knew exactly what we should be doing and talked us though the spiritual cleansing of our home and supported us.
We knew that we should not be sleeping together and so we repented. We also knew we had been placed together and Richard asked me to marry him, we agreed that the wedding would be when God was ready. So we waited on his word.
At this time we were still living in the same house but following Gods word. We prayed and prayed if we should be living together, each time we did one of us would get a very clear scripture about supporting each other. We knew we could be deceived so we asked God to let us know if we were wrong and we would live under the same roof until he told us otherwise. We met two couples in church both on the leadership team who told us that they had lived together under Gods will whilst engaged, we felt that we were following his word.
One afternoon I was compelled to read Matthew 10:36. your worst enemies will be members of your own family Good News Bible
I called Richard and told him, we were both left quite puzzled but thought perhaps I had got it wrong. That evening someone in Richards family started to tell falsehoods about us. She embellished and elaborated stories and we later discovered had been doing so for quite some time. My mother-in-law is a Christian and she had been listening to this with some concern, she was slowly starting to think I was unchristian and perhaps evil.
Richard dealt with that ever so well, he explained the scripture we had received that day and explained to his mother that Pauline* has a questionable nature and is not adverse to being dishonest, he begged his mother to believe him, and eventually she came round.
About six weeks passed and Richard had not heard from his mother Helen.* We were having such a pressing time with the constant attacks we were coming under and we were trying to follow Gods instructions, we were full of passion and spending all our spare time discussing God, praying and worshipping. However due to the stress we were still bickering amongst ourselves. We had forgiven Pauline for what she had done and she and her boyfriend had separated, we were trusting her with our troubles and listening to hers. We were struggling to close every legal foothold the demons had on us. Richard called Helen to called her to ask what was going on and she rounded on him, telling him that we were unholy and should not be getting married. He was accused of bearing no fruit. It was one of the most awful moments of my life, looking at the pain on his face as he was accused of this by someone he loved so much. He questioned why she was saying these things to him when they were not true. Pauline had been manipulating and falsifying the things we were discussing in confidence with her and again had deceived Helen. Again he explained the situation and Helen apologised, promising she would never again listen to Pauline and would clarify everything with Richard first.
We decided to never even mention the incident to Pauline and instead forgive her and just be very careful in what we said in future.
A little later Pauline began to spend time with her ex partner David and he was spending nights, weekends, weeks sleeping at her house. They denied they were together and both gave Richard and I grief about living together saying they did not believe we were living by Gods Word and we were sinful. This did not bother us as our main concern was that God knew our heart, but it was of course still unfavourable.
One day Richard and I had a massive falling out, the stress of five months of illness and sleep depravation was too much, we shouted at each other for hours and I felt so angry I wouldnt leave Richard alone. I later retold Pauline that it was so bad he had to push me down each step of the stairs to get me out the house! What a pain I was being!
We had a nice afternoon. Pauline spoke about how David was struggling with Pornography and she was so glad it was over. I told her David was trying to date another girl Chloe anyway so she shouldnt worry.
Pauline confessed she didnt want David, but she didnt want anyone else to have him either. It was a typical girly chat.
We went away on holiday and Helen house sat for us so someone would be here for the cat.
We arrived back and saw Helen who confronted us. Pauline and her partner had yet again been spreading vile lies about us, I has allegedly said that I dont love God and am a non-Christian and she had also said that I said Richard pushed me down the stairs and was beating me. I was gob smacked that someone could be so heartless, and I was angry and heartbroken that I had to watch Richard go through this again, he had lived his life protecting his mother and he was dealing with this constant rejection, it made me want to scream. That day I cut my losses and realised that Pauline deserves my righteous anger but I could not let it consume me. The way it was going I was re-considering our imminent marriage because I knew I would have to live with Pauline in my life.
The cycle of demonic attack and Gods blessings lasted 7 months before I was strong enough to protect myself. Now when Pauline jealously attacks I dont feel that intense rage, I feel distaste and pity for her. God brings all sin to attention anyway. Pauline and David produced an illegitimate child and I believe God gave them the baby so her hypocrisy was brought to light. Richard and I completed a cleansing stream course with the church, When it came to the retreat weekend I rid my body of the few remaining demons that were hiding away, I had different people praying for me throughout (they do this to ensure confidentiality) most of them recieved a word of knowledge, that from the moment I was born I was promised to Satan. This does not suprise me because my grandmonthers family are gypsies and witches and I was the firstborn child of my generation.
We were married soon after. In Gods perfect timing
The Lord has blessed me with his presence and gifts. He has given me a perfect partner whom I was placed with by God himself.
There is nothing more I could wish for yet the Lord just keeps on giving. He gives me knowledge, words of wisdom, visions and scriptures.
My life is nothing without God and all that he desires to give me, and if it all went tomorrow I would still serve him because I know that he really is the one true Lord, the Alpha and Omega.
