- Apr 25, 2020
- 202
- 317
- 27
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I was in the back seat of my friends car. I had just made the Lord angry, and He made it storm viciously on me while I was a several mile walk from home. God takes over my friend and her boyfriend, and He begins to speak. Although God had given me an incredible amount of faith beforehand, it was at this moment that I knew that God was real.
I grew up on a mountain in Eastern Kentucky, called Abe Hill, and it's absolutely decrepit. I lived like it was the 1800's - not quite Amish however. Thanks to my mother, we had some amenities. We didn't have clean water, or "city water" as we called it. Our well-pump was contaminated with sulfur and was disgusting, and was entirely undrinkable. It stained our clothes, our bathtub, our sink.
I've lived a painful life, I'm not exaggerating. It's been rough. My dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat my mom, and my sisters. Strangely, he never really beat me. In fact, he often loved me. It was an odd feeling: a cognitive dissonance. That was a short chapter of my life, we moved away just as I was about to turn 7.
I was a horrible sinner from about 9 to about 19. Nearly a decade of my life living in horrid sin, though it started when I was sexually assaulted at age 9. I fell into all sorts of perversions and deviancy at that point. I wasn't exactly sure how to cope with what had happened, although I suppose that's just blame-shifting from me to my attacker.
That's the end of the sad story, we're onto better days now. At age 19, I was working at Pizza Hut, in a city in northern Kentucky, where I was lived an extremely stressful life. It was so hard, the marijuana didn't help anything, either. I started sinking deep into depression and decided I wanted more from life.
I had been listening to a bad named Tool for years. There was one song about the "third eye" which is a big part of Hinduism. Also, I watched a lot of Avatar the Last Airbender growing up, and chakras were a big part of that show. So without doing any research on the subject, I decided to seek out how to open them - so I began to "pray."
Eventually, I heard a voice begin to speak back. It talked me through how to open my chakras. I wanted to open my third eye, but the voice wanted me to open the chakra at the base of the spine. Oh, by the way, chakras are these spinning wheels of energy up and down your spinal cord. If you can't feel them, you are blessed, because I feel them all the time, and their presence torments me.
I heeded the voice, and opened the chakra at the bottom of the spine, and soon thereafter, I had another, different voice say, "You just performed a Satantic ritual." Things begin to change within the next few hours. The first thing that happened was a vision: I saw this snake crawl up my spinal cord, through my chakras which were opening as it crawled. The next thing to happen, everything began glowing a white glow. At this point, I started hearing a half-dozen voices, all shouting persecutions and accusations at me.
Pretty soon, I got hospitalized in a mental institution. I was tormented there. After I got home, I started having nightmares of this being, who emitted darkness as a candle emits light, and who had two horns sticking straight up into the air from the top of its head. It was also massive. It did absolutely horrific things to me in my sleep, and caused my body to do things against my will. One of these things was talking as I was waking up. Another was seizures (which I haven't had before or after.) This was all pretty horrifying.
I reasoned, "This is the devil, and I am possessed." So I began praying. But it didn't work. So I got my friend, Jadon, to pray for me, along with his buddies at a prayer camp he was attending. I now realize this was entirely God's will for this to work out this way. The next day, the demonic influence completely went away.
Not much happened after that. I read the bible for a while, fell into sin for a few months, found God again... it was around this time that God and I started getting much closer. I started taking God much more seriously, and I had a fire in my heart for Him that could not be sated. I was following God's new testament commands literally, and was soon doing things that many would consider radical.
After a while, I was out preaching the gospel. I was in the downtown district of my town and was preaching to passerbys, but I was doing a terrible job. I was suffering some from the mental illness I acquired after opening my chakras, and was getting frustrated and mad with God. So I cursed him once. It was a bad curse: i blamed Him for Satan. I don't know if I will be forgiven for this, but I know I am saved. We will see how I am judged.
As I started walking home, (because I was several miles from home,) this dark and angry storm cloud comes over a nearby mountain, and began to unleash a torrent of furious, ferocious rain. The rain was mixed with wind. It seemed to me that the very rain drops were angry. I had already figured out that God was real, but for this to happen on a perfectly beautiful day, was the moment any and all doubt I could possibly have was quenched. Quenched by the cup of wrath God was spilling out on me.
The rain didn't last 10 minutes, and as I was walking by the road on the way home, I sat down to read my bible as a testimony to the passerbys. Not long after, my friend grabs my shoulder. Her name is Christa. She told me to get into the car, and so I did. At this moment, I'm completely radicalized, i'm partially mentally ill, and I just fully realized God is real. So I figured the only thing I could do now was to talk to God in person. I thought, "If God can do anything, God can speak to me through these people." So I talked to God 'through' them, and... God spoke back.
I asked, "Will I be okay?" And He, speaking through Christa's boyfriend, gave me a speech. It was a speech about Himself, which reminds me of the book of Job. He told me He is an invocation. He said, (either evil or darkness,) flees from Him. I told Him about my mental illness. He asked me an interesting question: "Have you ever played with a Ouija board?" He knew I had, of course, so I didn't lie: I said yes. He asked, "Did you tell them goodbye?" I said, "No." He said, "There are rules to the things." He said some other things but I don't recall everything. Please forgive me, my mind is not entirely healthy.
He gave me a cold water and took me home.
A few months later I had my first dream of God the Father. God has been visiting me in dreams once a week or once every two weeks for over a year now, and it's been wonderful.
It wasn't long after He spoke through them, that I was put in a mental hospital yet again. I was forced onto a medicine called Invega, which may help my mental illness, but has hurt my radicalness. I had never felt so alive, as when I was radically obeying the Holy Bible. It was the most intense and exciting time of my life, filled with conflict, radical obedience, and true spiritual awakenings. Now I am much more tame. My medicine makes me sleepy, lazy, and overall tired all the time. I wish I could recapture that lightning in a bottle that was my initial walk with Christ.
If you have read it this far, please pray this for me: Pray my walk with God becomes radical again. Pray that I become a fiery soldier for God. Pray that I turn into the man of God that I once was. Pray that God restores me in my calling. I know a lot of this is up to me, but for some reason it seems out of my control. Pray that I become a pleasing servant to my Master.
Thank you all for reading, and have a wonderful day. God be with us all.
I grew up on a mountain in Eastern Kentucky, called Abe Hill, and it's absolutely decrepit. I lived like it was the 1800's - not quite Amish however. Thanks to my mother, we had some amenities. We didn't have clean water, or "city water" as we called it. Our well-pump was contaminated with sulfur and was disgusting, and was entirely undrinkable. It stained our clothes, our bathtub, our sink.
I've lived a painful life, I'm not exaggerating. It's been rough. My dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat my mom, and my sisters. Strangely, he never really beat me. In fact, he often loved me. It was an odd feeling: a cognitive dissonance. That was a short chapter of my life, we moved away just as I was about to turn 7.
I was a horrible sinner from about 9 to about 19. Nearly a decade of my life living in horrid sin, though it started when I was sexually assaulted at age 9. I fell into all sorts of perversions and deviancy at that point. I wasn't exactly sure how to cope with what had happened, although I suppose that's just blame-shifting from me to my attacker.
That's the end of the sad story, we're onto better days now. At age 19, I was working at Pizza Hut, in a city in northern Kentucky, where I was lived an extremely stressful life. It was so hard, the marijuana didn't help anything, either. I started sinking deep into depression and decided I wanted more from life.
I had been listening to a bad named Tool for years. There was one song about the "third eye" which is a big part of Hinduism. Also, I watched a lot of Avatar the Last Airbender growing up, and chakras were a big part of that show. So without doing any research on the subject, I decided to seek out how to open them - so I began to "pray."
Eventually, I heard a voice begin to speak back. It talked me through how to open my chakras. I wanted to open my third eye, but the voice wanted me to open the chakra at the base of the spine. Oh, by the way, chakras are these spinning wheels of energy up and down your spinal cord. If you can't feel them, you are blessed, because I feel them all the time, and their presence torments me.
I heeded the voice, and opened the chakra at the bottom of the spine, and soon thereafter, I had another, different voice say, "You just performed a Satantic ritual." Things begin to change within the next few hours. The first thing that happened was a vision: I saw this snake crawl up my spinal cord, through my chakras which were opening as it crawled. The next thing to happen, everything began glowing a white glow. At this point, I started hearing a half-dozen voices, all shouting persecutions and accusations at me.
Pretty soon, I got hospitalized in a mental institution. I was tormented there. After I got home, I started having nightmares of this being, who emitted darkness as a candle emits light, and who had two horns sticking straight up into the air from the top of its head. It was also massive. It did absolutely horrific things to me in my sleep, and caused my body to do things against my will. One of these things was talking as I was waking up. Another was seizures (which I haven't had before or after.) This was all pretty horrifying.
I reasoned, "This is the devil, and I am possessed." So I began praying. But it didn't work. So I got my friend, Jadon, to pray for me, along with his buddies at a prayer camp he was attending. I now realize this was entirely God's will for this to work out this way. The next day, the demonic influence completely went away.
Not much happened after that. I read the bible for a while, fell into sin for a few months, found God again... it was around this time that God and I started getting much closer. I started taking God much more seriously, and I had a fire in my heart for Him that could not be sated. I was following God's new testament commands literally, and was soon doing things that many would consider radical.
After a while, I was out preaching the gospel. I was in the downtown district of my town and was preaching to passerbys, but I was doing a terrible job. I was suffering some from the mental illness I acquired after opening my chakras, and was getting frustrated and mad with God. So I cursed him once. It was a bad curse: i blamed Him for Satan. I don't know if I will be forgiven for this, but I know I am saved. We will see how I am judged.
As I started walking home, (because I was several miles from home,) this dark and angry storm cloud comes over a nearby mountain, and began to unleash a torrent of furious, ferocious rain. The rain was mixed with wind. It seemed to me that the very rain drops were angry. I had already figured out that God was real, but for this to happen on a perfectly beautiful day, was the moment any and all doubt I could possibly have was quenched. Quenched by the cup of wrath God was spilling out on me.
The rain didn't last 10 minutes, and as I was walking by the road on the way home, I sat down to read my bible as a testimony to the passerbys. Not long after, my friend grabs my shoulder. Her name is Christa. She told me to get into the car, and so I did. At this moment, I'm completely radicalized, i'm partially mentally ill, and I just fully realized God is real. So I figured the only thing I could do now was to talk to God in person. I thought, "If God can do anything, God can speak to me through these people." So I talked to God 'through' them, and... God spoke back.
I asked, "Will I be okay?" And He, speaking through Christa's boyfriend, gave me a speech. It was a speech about Himself, which reminds me of the book of Job. He told me He is an invocation. He said, (either evil or darkness,) flees from Him. I told Him about my mental illness. He asked me an interesting question: "Have you ever played with a Ouija board?" He knew I had, of course, so I didn't lie: I said yes. He asked, "Did you tell them goodbye?" I said, "No." He said, "There are rules to the things." He said some other things but I don't recall everything. Please forgive me, my mind is not entirely healthy.
He gave me a cold water and took me home.
A few months later I had my first dream of God the Father. God has been visiting me in dreams once a week or once every two weeks for over a year now, and it's been wonderful.
It wasn't long after He spoke through them, that I was put in a mental hospital yet again. I was forced onto a medicine called Invega, which may help my mental illness, but has hurt my radicalness. I had never felt so alive, as when I was radically obeying the Holy Bible. It was the most intense and exciting time of my life, filled with conflict, radical obedience, and true spiritual awakenings. Now I am much more tame. My medicine makes me sleepy, lazy, and overall tired all the time. I wish I could recapture that lightning in a bottle that was my initial walk with Christ.
If you have read it this far, please pray this for me: Pray my walk with God becomes radical again. Pray that I become a fiery soldier for God. Pray that I turn into the man of God that I once was. Pray that God restores me in my calling. I know a lot of this is up to me, but for some reason it seems out of my control. Pray that I become a pleasing servant to my Master.
Thank you all for reading, and have a wonderful day. God be with us all.
