First I would just like to say I'm so happy I found this forum.
I've wanted to share my story with others for a while now.
I was born a Catholic but my parents didn't raise me by it. They kept quiet about their faith and allowed me to choose what I wanted to do with religion. I lived a pretty quiet and normal childhood until the end of sophmore year. My parents told me they were getting a divorce. I was emotionally distressed. The community I lived in, nothing bad ever happened so I had never really experienced trauma in any form before this. However, I kept myself together for a while. I stayed strong for my sibilings. I repressed any negative emotions and went on with my life, that is until I found out my father cheated on my mother. He found himself a new women on his "buisness trips" and this women had kids of her own. She had an eldest son with my first name. So basically I was replaced with this women's kid. My whole family was replaced. The divorce turned nasty and we lost the house to my father as well as custody of my sister. We were split and up and forced to move.
I was devasted, I was always into the occult as far as vampires, demons etc. I liked the movies and videogames. But at that point I was so angry and upset I thought to myself what would be the harm and actually delving into this stuff. I began to look at Satanism as my release from the emotional pain. I didn't bother to try and make a new life in the place we moved to. I became very silent and reserved. I always had a look of anger on my face and something violent in my head. Satan seemed like the way out. My grandmother who's house we were living at would tell me stories about God, Jesus, and the angels but I didn't want to hear it. If this God was so great then why did I hate my life? I fell deeper and deeper in Satanism. I even found a "personal demon that i knew by name and revered it as my king. I was nothing more than a husk, there was nothing in me besides anger and pain.
This continued for a year. I was slowly damning myself and the sad part was I wanted it. But one day my grandmother noticed me acting me different and talked to me about the Guardian Angels. I didn't want to hear it but something that night stuck in my brain. She told me to pray to God for a sign that he still cared. For some reason I felt compelled to pray and I did before I went to bed. I didn't receive any response right away so I laughed at the concept of God and fell asleep. I woke up later that night in my room to a whisper in my ear saying "Listen" At first I shot up and looked around my room. It was quiet, no one was awake, there wasn't even any wind outside. It took me a moment but I remembered that I prayed before I fell asleep. I was such a state of shock. I couldn't beleive that God would send me, ME of all people an answer to my prayer after I cursed his name and worshipped his enemy.
I felt such a peace that I can't describe. For the first time in a year I felt like everything would work out. My mind felt clear and I thought to myself. "What am I doing worshipping demons?" So for the rest of my senior year of highschool I began to shape up my life. From that night I changed my savior from the Devil to Jesus. My faith was there from then on out but it didn't really click until a few months ago during my freshman year of college.
My two roomates went to the school's Christian Fellowship and convinced me to go. I was taken aback on how wonderful it was to listen to the pastor explain God's word. I started doing my own research because I was just thirsty for knoweledge.
For the longest time I thought the being that spoke "Listen" was just my guardian angel. I always had this image of my angel. It had beautiful long golden hair and pale skin with a white gown. It seemed simple but it felt right. One day while searching google I found a silly website that would tell you your guardian angel. I typed my birthday and it said that the Archangel Gabriel was my angel. I liked the idea but it was the internet so I didn't really think anything of it until I found a picture of Gabriel on wikipedia. There he was, long golden blonde hair, pale skin, and a white gown. I was in disbeleif. I kept telling myself I was arrogant to think God would send me an archangel. I wasn't important enough to receive an archangel's help. I went about my day with this always at the back of my mind. I didn't beleive it was Gabriel until(this may be silly but it was a sign enough for me) I logged onto facebook and in the URL it said facebook .com/myname/The-Archangel-gabriel/whatever numbers came after that. I'd post the picture if i knew how but I took that as a sign that God did love me that much. To this day I still beleive it was Gabriel and I thank God every day for sending him and making my life so much more fulfilling and happy.
I've wanted to share my story with others for a while now.I was born a Catholic but my parents didn't raise me by it. They kept quiet about their faith and allowed me to choose what I wanted to do with religion. I lived a pretty quiet and normal childhood until the end of sophmore year. My parents told me they were getting a divorce. I was emotionally distressed. The community I lived in, nothing bad ever happened so I had never really experienced trauma in any form before this. However, I kept myself together for a while. I stayed strong for my sibilings. I repressed any negative emotions and went on with my life, that is until I found out my father cheated on my mother. He found himself a new women on his "buisness trips" and this women had kids of her own. She had an eldest son with my first name. So basically I was replaced with this women's kid. My whole family was replaced. The divorce turned nasty and we lost the house to my father as well as custody of my sister. We were split and up and forced to move.
I was devasted, I was always into the occult as far as vampires, demons etc. I liked the movies and videogames. But at that point I was so angry and upset I thought to myself what would be the harm and actually delving into this stuff. I began to look at Satanism as my release from the emotional pain. I didn't bother to try and make a new life in the place we moved to. I became very silent and reserved. I always had a look of anger on my face and something violent in my head. Satan seemed like the way out. My grandmother who's house we were living at would tell me stories about God, Jesus, and the angels but I didn't want to hear it. If this God was so great then why did I hate my life? I fell deeper and deeper in Satanism. I even found a "personal demon that i knew by name and revered it as my king. I was nothing more than a husk, there was nothing in me besides anger and pain.
This continued for a year. I was slowly damning myself and the sad part was I wanted it. But one day my grandmother noticed me acting me different and talked to me about the Guardian Angels. I didn't want to hear it but something that night stuck in my brain. She told me to pray to God for a sign that he still cared. For some reason I felt compelled to pray and I did before I went to bed. I didn't receive any response right away so I laughed at the concept of God and fell asleep. I woke up later that night in my room to a whisper in my ear saying "Listen" At first I shot up and looked around my room. It was quiet, no one was awake, there wasn't even any wind outside. It took me a moment but I remembered that I prayed before I fell asleep. I was such a state of shock. I couldn't beleive that God would send me, ME of all people an answer to my prayer after I cursed his name and worshipped his enemy.
I felt such a peace that I can't describe. For the first time in a year I felt like everything would work out. My mind felt clear and I thought to myself. "What am I doing worshipping demons?" So for the rest of my senior year of highschool I began to shape up my life. From that night I changed my savior from the Devil to Jesus. My faith was there from then on out but it didn't really click until a few months ago during my freshman year of college.
My two roomates went to the school's Christian Fellowship and convinced me to go. I was taken aback on how wonderful it was to listen to the pastor explain God's word. I started doing my own research because I was just thirsty for knoweledge.
For the longest time I thought the being that spoke "Listen" was just my guardian angel. I always had this image of my angel. It had beautiful long golden hair and pale skin with a white gown. It seemed simple but it felt right. One day while searching google I found a silly website that would tell you your guardian angel. I typed my birthday and it said that the Archangel Gabriel was my angel. I liked the idea but it was the internet so I didn't really think anything of it until I found a picture of Gabriel on wikipedia. There he was, long golden blonde hair, pale skin, and a white gown. I was in disbeleif. I kept telling myself I was arrogant to think God would send me an archangel. I wasn't important enough to receive an archangel's help. I went about my day with this always at the back of my mind. I didn't beleive it was Gabriel until(this may be silly but it was a sign enough for me) I logged onto facebook and in the URL it said facebook .com/myname/The-Archangel-gabriel/whatever numbers came after that. I'd post the picture if i knew how but I took that as a sign that God did love me that much. To this day I still beleive it was Gabriel and I thank God every day for sending him and making my life so much more fulfilling and happy.
