Friendship

[Heinrich]

Hi there guys and especially girls.

I want to get some pointers on "friendship with girls". For some reason I find that girls so often think your really intrested in them (Like inlove) the moment you do something. So you can't really ask them to go drink coffee or watch a movie then they have all sorts of ideas. This is ok if you're really not intrested in her and don't care

But there's lot's of briljant amazing girls around here which will make such great friends! and I find it difficult to build friendships with girls just because of this. Some ideas and tips would be more than welcome, especially from the girls.
Like how would you like a guy to "befriend" you?

(Afterall I should become friends with a girls before anything else can happen but somehow that train of thought is lost)

-A young single guy in his 20s

 

[Heinrich]

mmm
I guess I should've posted this in the singles ministry forum..

ok I will duplicate it there..
ADMIN: you may delete this.

 

[m4!y@]

hmmm...
that is exactly what i think of guys...

 

[Lexi]

*laughs* Perhaps you could just clarify that you mean as a friend.

 

[Samuel0310]

Well, I think it all boils down to the heart. If your heart is right, there's nothing to be afraid of, or uneasy about. If you just wanna be friends, you can actually make it clear by your body language, your conversation topics and your intimacy level. Ultimately, it's how tight the reins we wanna put on ourselves, considering whether we are pleasing God more or ourselves instead...

 

[TheseBlindEyes]

Ok so you probably received a whole ton of responses in the other forum but I'm just going to stick with the original and post here
This is a tough question to address. Friendship between girls and guys is difficult because there always seems to be one or the other misreading things and thinking that there is something more going on. You could maybe suggest that you are interested in a girl or something.. just to set that basis that you know, hes interested in someone else right now, so she will take everything as friendly type gestures. And then if you become interested you could always say that you aren't interested in the other one anymore... lol... is this even making sense?
Well anyway, I'm in a relationship and honestly I don't talk to guys much... its like I'm too afraid that he will take me wrong... so I sort of understand where you are coming from. But this is a bad thing because I am missing out of friendships with probably some really great guys. Hope this was possibly a bit helpful... God Bless!

 

[AmericanGirl]

Not all girls assume that because you do something nice for them you must be 'in love' with them I always think guys are just being friendly until they inform me otherwise... even then I've been known to assume that they're just joking (I know more then one guy who has teasingly declared his 'great love' for me complete with a half-swoon lol) so there is hope!

 

[sweetlambofgod]

Just ask her to hang out...nothing more

 

[Bartimaeus]

*laughs* Perhaps you could just clarify that you mean as a friend.

You know, that's a good point. I'd also say, when asking her out for coffee, "I'm not considering this like a "date", just two friends having coffee."

 

[Holy Warrior]

I tend to just carry on with the ladies the way I carry on with guys (though I apparently can be a bit of a flirt at times )

Just hang out with and talk to them- if you're not interested in them for romantic reasons, they'll figure it out soon enough and accept you as a friend.

It might be an idea to keep your contact with them within a larger group at first, then when they are comfortable with you there won't be any problems hanging out with them on an individual basis.

 

[Bartimaeus]

I tend to just carry on with the ladies the way I carry on with guys (though I apparently can be a bit of a flirt at times )

Just hang out with and talk to them- if you're not interested in them for romantic reasons, they'll figure it out soon enough and accept you as a friend.

It might be an idea to keep your contact with them within a larger group at first, then when they are comfortable with you there won't be any problems hanging out with them on an individual basis.

That's pretty good advice about the large groups.