friendship question

[FoundInGrace]

Hey there, wondering about what to do with a friendship that I think is over. Had to say no to a friend and she got really angry at me - really angry, like I knew she would and so it was hard to say no to her. Just went to a party at her place and felt like I shouldn't be there as I had hurt her. I thought we'd be okay, not friends like we were but okay but now I just think we can't even be that and actually I'm okay with that However... the thing is we have mutual friends only one of whom knows we've had a falling out so its weird. Not sure what to do with it. Do I just leave the friendship and with the mutual friends say to them that we've had a falling out. thats so awkward when its not their fault anyway and messes up us all hanging out. I know part of this was my fault for not cutting loose a 'toxic' type of friendship earlier and our falling out wasn't pleasant, we both did wrong things but it needed to happen really so the friendship would stop.
I think God did intervene in stopping this friendship as it was affecting my relationship with Him but its hard to know where to go from here with our mutual friends?
Sorry this is so long and wordy, any advice out there?

 

[Rafael]

First pray for yourself and then pray for your friend, and be sure to ask for forgiveness, if you had done anything wrong during a fight. She can still be a friend, and your example of humility may change things - ofcourse, this is if you can handle it and do feel sorry for something you may have done. We can't pretend to be humble because false humility usually starts more trouble.

The Bible tells us to pray for those that dispitefully use us and to turn the other cheek - which isn't easy to do. Our concern is for these people, as Jesus died for us all. Also when we do good things for people that treat us as enemies, ti makes them realize their sins, sometimes, and then they can be possibly be influenced to the positive side of things.

Anyways, these types of situations are always a bit painful to go through, but are part of our growth in patience and longsuffering in our journey learning about God's Agape love.

Mt 5:43 ¶ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Romans 12:20 Instead, do what the Scriptures say:"If your enemies are hungry, feed them.If they are thirsty, give them something to drink,and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you." 21 Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.

 

[Trench777]

I agree with Raphe, in that you should ask her for forgiveness...but I would add that first and formost you need to forgive her in your heart (you mentioned that there were wrongs on both sides). If you go to her and ask her forgiveness and she knows she has been forgiven by you, that can pave the way sometimes. There is something about true humility that can be very...hmmm..."lubricating" in these situations.

With the "mutual friends", the only real advice I have for you there, is never ever let yourself talk bad about the friend you had the falling out with. I'd go so far as to try your BESt to find something kind about her, to your mutual friends. There must be SOME good things about her (or you wouldnt have been friends in the first place )...try to highlight those in your conversation with your mutual friends.

G-D bless

T777

 

[Glorianna]

FoundInGrace, I am in the EXACT situation you are. If you ever need someone to talk to about it let me know.

 

[FoundInGrace]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this, still undecided how to go about making this situation work, but I'm sure something will work out, you guys have some good advice,
Thanks again