Friend Zone

[blackribbon]

If I lost my job I woudl have to move immediatly, if I lost my job that means the local economy is going down the drain. I have always been good enough at my job that I would be the one to turn the lights off after everyone else is gone.

What about HER job? .... what if moving means she can't make her 50% of your financial plan? She just doesn't get as much to spend?

 

[pittsflyer]

We switch back and forth who pays sometimes I end up paying more and sometimes she does. As far as the big stuff we each pay for our own stuff.

If I were forced to move I am not certain what would happen, her son goes to a private school and has friends etc. I could take a pay cut I suppose but once I could not maintain my life style some hard choices would have to be made. Its not like these same factors don't cause divorces too, I have seen women throw a fit if they have to pull kids out of long time schools for work reasons. The guy leaves for work, they get divorced and he ends up paying anyways.

Sometimes life sucks, when you have housing that is so expensive it takes 30 years to pay for and then you have to pay as much as 5 figures in taxes on it even after its paid for it makes you a slave to your employer for a LONG time, BUT they are under no obligation to keep you there so it is a very antagonistic society we live in. But that's the way it is. If we could make it long term we are talking about retiring early over seas because the USA has just gotten to be too much.

when you go out to the movies, do you each pay...and split the check at restaurants?...or who's money do these events come out of ?

When I marry, I want "oneness"...a sense of team...that each person contributes their strengths and helps the other with their weaknesses without a financial tally system going. That may mean if one person dreams of owning a bass boat or vacationing in New York, the other person contributes to that dream. That there isn't a sense of "that is mine" and "that is yours"... with possessions, time, and even our bodies.

 

[yesyoushould]

All who lust after money and what they can get, have forsaken God.

 

[blackribbon]

So you are living with a woman you aren't married to? I see no reason for you to get married either...you have exactly the relationship you want. Benefits with no commitment. However, if she was to die...unless you have some special arrangement like a will that states otherwise, her son would own all her belongings and not you...so if she bought the couch, it would belong to him...not you or your house. If you jointly own something like a house or a car...half of that belongs to the son and you would have to sell. Same goes the other way, if you died, whoever is your next of kin could walk into your home and just remove everything that is in your name. She'd have no rights. I have seen it before.

Yes, financial changes cause divorces...but only because the commitment to things other than the marriage are the priority in the life. In a relationship build on 50-50, then my "uncomfortableness" is just as important as your "happiness"....where-as in a relationship where both people aim to contribute 100%....your happiness is more important than my uncomfortableness...and the goal is to strive what is best for "us" as a team, not is what is best for any one individual. It isn't me against you...but rather us against the world.

 

[exitstageright]

All who lust after money and what they can get, have forsaken God.

Just because a christian wants to live a comfortable life and does not want to "beg for bread"does not mean that he or she is lusting after money. I have heard so many christians,who do not want to seek a higher paying job.That is their choice. Then, they whine why they cannot afford the things that they need and/or want. Money is not the root of all evil. But,if one was to kill for money,then that would be evil.
Yes,I grew up poor and as a christian. I am making a good living now,not because I spent my years whining about being poor. I am no longer poor,because I did something about it,yes,by working hard and forgoing my social life.

 

[dayhiker]

This blanket statement makes no sense to me.
I desire to make money so I can pay my bills and to save so that when I no longer work I don't have to sponge off other people. I've never seen a church that after a person has given money to the church all their life that then gave money to them when they ran out in old age.
Further more, if those who have money spend their money they are creating jobs and helping other people have jobs. So I spend quite a bit of the money I make to buy things and services.

Have I forsaken God or has God forsaken me. By no means. I find God has blessed me and we have drawn closer as the years have gone by teaching me many things and allowing me to bless people more than I ever have in the past ... when I had a lot less money by the way.

So that statement doesn't ring true. Now if a person lusts after money and forsakes God then they might find God has to take that money from him to get his attention again. That I could believe.

All who lust after money and what they can get, have forsaken God.

 

[Messy]

If you also give it's no problem, but if you can't even share with your own spouse I'm afraid something's Wrong. Jesus had wealthy women following Him, but they weren't Stingy. Why would you miss out on family time just to work for a big house and a car? No problem if someone wants that but it makes absolutely no sense to me. I work as less and live as cheap as possible. Not extreme but I don't need much to be happy.

 

[exitstageright]

If you also give it's no problem, but if you can't even share with your own spouse I'm afraid something's Wrong. Jesus had wealthy women following Him, but they weren't Stingy. Why would you miss out on family time just to work for a big house and a car? No problem if someone wants that but it makes absolutely no sense to me. I work as less and live as cheap as possible. Not extreme but I don't need much to be happy.

When I was a little boy,I spent half the night,one night,killing roaches,as they crawled up the wall,by my bed. I vowed that when I grew up,that I would never,never,live in a place like this again. That was one of the things that motivated me to become financially well off.

Now,I was booking a trip yesterday to Fort Lauderdale,Florida. I found out that January is the high season. I stayed at the Embassy Suites for $179 per night. In January of 2016,the rate will be $299 per night. So,I looked at Motel 6,a cheaper place. Motel 6 will be only $84 per night.

But,the person who stayed there said that the bathroom had a rusty shower(pictures),mold,a health hazard,and roaches. Now why would I fly 5 hours to Florida and stay at a place that has roaches? This is why I am glad to be blessed by making a good living. God blesses me,so that I can bless other people. My vacations causes people,working in the tourist industry, to have .........jobs!

 

[pittsflyer]

I completely agree.

So you are living with a woman you aren't married to? I see no reason for you to get married either...you have exactly the relationship you want. Benefits with no commitment. However, if she was to die...unless you have some special arrangement like a will that states otherwise, her son would own all her belongings and not you...so if she bought the couch, it would belong to him...not you or your house. If you jointly own something like a house or a car...half of that belongs to the son and you would have to sell. Same goes the other way, if you died, whoever is your next of kin could walk into your home and just remove everything that is in your name. She'd have no rights. I have seen it before.

Yes, financial changes cause divorces...but only because the commitment to things other than the marriage are the priority in the life. In a relationship build on 50-50, then my "uncomfortableness" is just as important as your "happiness"....where-as in a relationship where both people aim to contribute 100%....your happiness is more important than my uncomfortableness...and the goal is to strive what is best for "us" as a team, not is what is best for any one individual. It isn't me against you...but rather us against the world.

 

[Messy]

When I was a little boy,I spent half the night,one night,killing roaches,as they crawled up the wall,by my bed. I vowed that when I grew up,that I would never,never,live in a place like this again. That was one of the things that motivated me to become financially well off.

I grew up in luxury and now I don't care at all about that. Well it's not that there are roaches, poverty is awful too. If I have to choose between seeing my kids or making money I know what to choose.

 

[quietpraiyze]

All who lust after money and what they can get, have forsaken God.

Why are some of you acting like this man said something wrong? The Word does speak against lusting after money/riches. These are just a few Scriptures but the Word speaks of many more:​

1Ti 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. ​

Mat 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. ​

Luke 12:16-21 The parable of the rich man

He didn't say having money was wrong. God gives wealth all through the OT. The Word is very clear about being a good steward over your finances which includes giving. So I don't see what the problem is...​

 

[pittsflyer]

I have found in myself and have seen with others that people are weary about others who quote scriptures like this in isolation because in real life they typically have an ulterior motive. I have noticed that when I read these scriptures on my own from Jesus own words I take no offense.

I only take offense when someone is saying these things in isolation because they are typically trying to illicit some response which is usually exploitive in nature.

I agree I don't want to be rich or serve money but that does not translate to im going to give some guy in church a bunch of money because he says so. Last time I checked I am not part of the nation of isreal that inherited the promise land (vast tracts of land and infrastructure). Everyone who can rub 2 brain cells together knows it costs just to live and in some areas the costs of living are quite high.

Jesus turned over the money changers tables he did not condemn people going to work and making a living.

Daniel and Joseph lived in forign lands and were expected to act and dress accordingly, they did not serve God any less. Even Christians under roman rule had to act accordingly.

I find the people that quote these sorts of scriptures in isolation are busy bodys and con artists.

Why are some of you acting like this man said something wrong? The Word does speak against lusting after money/riches. These are just a few Scriptures but the Word speaks of many more:​

1Ti 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. ​

Mat 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. ​

Luke 12:16-21 The parable of the rich man

He didn't say having money was wrong. God gives wealth all through the OT. The Word is very clear about being a good steward over your finances which includes giving. So I don't see what the problem is...​

 

[quietpraiyze]

@pittsflyer

[FONT=Georgia, serif]First of all this is uncalled for and rude. I suspect there was something I said to you before that upset you and this is how you're addressing it. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Most Christians I know IRL, know how to read the Word in context and know the whole counsel of God so it's not an issue to quote certain scriptures as a reminder. For those that it is an issue can easily go to the Word and read for themselves and see that there was and is no conflict or so called agenda. God doesn't have an issue with money. What He has an issue with is idolatry plain and simple. Most saints know that though. So I'm still not seeing an issue here because there really isn't one. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Now if you have something you want to say to me personally, YOU be an adult about it and come straight with it. Say what you have to say to me. Yeah your response was about something I said before. Be an adult and address me on that matter. If you can't do that then by all means keep your little nasty digs to yourself and don't respond to any of my post...simple. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Now having said that, I stand by my post whether you like or not...[/FONT]​

 

[pittsflyer]

It was not really directed at you but just to a lot of churches in general. I hate money and resent the fact that I have to have it but that does not change the reality that I need to have it to live.

@pittsflyer

[FONT=Georgia, serif]First of all this is uncalled for and rude. I suspect there was something I said to you before that upset you and this is how you're addressing it. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Most Christians I know IRL, know how to read the Word in context and know the whole counsel of God so it's not an issue to quote certain scriptures as a reminder. For those that it is an issue can easily go to the Word and read for themselves and see that there was and is no conflict or so called agenda. God doesn't have an issue with money. What He has an issue with is idolatry plain and simple. Most saints know that though. So I'm still not seeing an issue here because there really isn't one. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Now if you have something you want to say to me personally, YOU be an adult about it and come straight with it. Say what you have to say to me. Yeah your response was about something I said before. Be an adult and address me on that matter. If you can't do that then by all means keep your little nasty digs to yourself and don't respond to any of my post...simple. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Now having said that, I stand by my post whether you like or not...[/FONT]​

 

[exitstageright]

It was not really directed at you but just to a lot of churches in general. I hate money and resent the fact that I have to have it but that does not change the reality that I need to have it to live.

In all of my 61 years,you are the second man that said that he hated money. Money can do some good.When I visited Seattle,Washington,I visited many museums. Most or all of the museums had Bill Gate's name on the wall as many of the museum's contributors.

The first man,who told me that he hated money,was a young man in his twenties,who had a wife and two very small children. Does he not realize,that if one is going to have children,that one needs money to support them?

 

[pittsflyer]

I know that I need it which is why I go to work but it can create antagonistic situations especially in contract negotiations or dealing with subcontractors, negotiating your own wages due to costs of living increases. And on and on.

Despite what staunch conservitives say, it really is a 0 sum game, there are only so many raw materials so many goods everyone is competing for. Maybe it is just my little faith.

In all of my 61 years,you are the second man that said that he hated money. Money can do some good.When I visited Seattle,Washington,I visited many museums. Most or all of the museums had Bill Gate's name on the wall as many of the museum's contributors.

The first man,who told me that he hated money,was a young man in his twenties,who had a wife and two very small children. Does he not realize,that if one is going to have children,that one needs money to support them?

 

[yesyoushould]

Just because a christian wants to live a comfortable life and does not want to "beg for bread"does not mean that he or she is lusting after money.

All that love, are for God. God is The Spirit.

 

[yesyoushould]

God loves all of us, unconditionally -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2KOCgC8DnU