Foster Children

[The_Horses_Boy]

OK - gotta say off the bat that this got me absolutely POed.

My friend is a foster child. I was talking to her today and she said that Maine (that state I'm in) has a bill in it's legislature so that foster children adopted from 14-18 will have their education paid for by the state of Maine. She was happy that she might get her education paid for by the state, and our classmate was happy for her too. My immediate response was:

ME: "Why would they do that?"
HER: "Because you haven't had a chance to save up money for college."
ME: "Neither have I."
HER: "Yeah, but your parents are supposed to."
ME: "We're not exactly wealthy."
HER: "Yeah, well that's your parent's responsibility."

I really wanted to say, "yeah, and it was your's too."

So basically the idea is that she's been adopted after the age of thirteen and her parents haven't saved up money for her college and her foster parents haven't had time to. Good idea on the face of it.

Now here's me. I'm one of seven kids. My dad is - let's just say struggling. He had back surgery a few years ago and the doctor said he couldn't work and my dad was getting unemployment. Of course, it's not enough money for my dad to pay his propety taxes alone so my dad's working and struggling - can't even pay child support. My mom? I live with my mom. My step-father is a hard worker and works every day, except Sunday and some Saturdays (leaves her before 6AM for work, gets back around 6-7PM). My mom has been a stay at home mom and has went to work for a local university to get an education so she could get a jobe (while being a stay at home mom - w.o.w.).

So. Did I forget to mention that I'm one of seven children and we're living in an apartment? Yeah, my parents don't have money for me to go to college. When I was a baby I literally was put into rags for diapers - no freakin' joke. Poor *** family.

So here's the basic wrap up
My dad: technically a cripple with a messed up back, legally not supposed to work, but he's running a struggling construction company (all he's even done is construction and mechanics). Is in debt, slowly going further and struggling.
My Step-dad: works a crapload so that he, my mom and the seven kids in the household can eat, have clothes and be in the household. Trying to put money away, but it's not much.
My mom: stay at home mom trying to get a job (step-dad leaves for work before 6AM, gets back around 6PM - duh)
ME: basically I'm going to have to go in the military and risk my neck or work my butt off in the workforce so that I can get money for my education - all the while me, my dad, my step dad and (hopefully) my mom are paying for my friend's education. Gee, that's nice.


Opinions? [sidenote: about scholarships, grant and such because we're poor - my brother is in college now and really doesn't get any. My step-father makes an above average income, but some legislator's aren't smart enough to figure out that one income sustaining nine people is stenuous]

 

[The_Horses_Boy]

Please - I've opened up ALOT about myself. Please, be gentle.

 

[bammertheblue]

Well, I can see your point, and I'm not going to not "be gentle". I really wish there was more help for people who just don't have enough money for college. Personally, my father spent all four years I was in high school trying to get at my college fund so he could "invest it". (Yeah right, he wanted a boat). Point being, there are a lot of extenuating circumstances that make it hard to afford college.

The thing is, foster children are so frequently screwed over by the "system" that I think it's the least the system can do to pay for their higher education. The law seems to be there mostly for children who are "wards of the state" (if that's the right phrase) until they're 18- these kids are generally very poor and a lot of them live in less than ideal conditions.
Just my two cents.

 

[JGG]

I hate to tell you this, but that's the society we live in. The rich get richer because they can afford to invest in their children. The poor stay poor, because they can't afford to go to university to improve themsevles. Our nation believes that investing in the future of children isn't worthwhile. Sweden and Germany on the other hand, practically bend over backwards to ensure that their children get to go on to college. In fact tuition is free, and grants and scholarships are easy to get.

 

[hernyaccent]

There are many ways to overcome this issue. First off this girl is receiving money because she is a ward of the state. I was a foster child and got no money because my foster parents ( grandparents) opted out because they wanted no involvement with the system but if they didn't I would have been in this young ladies situation. I can't say that I have struggled through college because from day one I had academic scholarships with a full ride.However,universities like Harvard and Princeton are taking low income individuals now a days on free rides. My suggestion to you would be to attend a local community college and bring you GPA up as high as possible. You aren't alone in working through college. Most people no matter their college situation have to work through college. I go to school full-time and work full time to pay rent, car, and general expiences. It's a great life lesson to work for the things you have. I have a guy that I just met at a community meeting in a situation like the girl you speak of and even though he has school paided and a roof over his head--he has nothing else. He doesn't even have money to take the train. So he has to work for his basic needs such as clothings, wash material and such. You are faced with your situation and you have to make the best of it. There are MANY ways to get college paid for you just have to be aware and willing to work for them.

 

[The_Horses_Boy]

I really feel a strong calling to be a politician because I think that this, among other things, is so wrong. I mean yeah, she's in an unfortunate situation - but no worse than mine (perhaps even slightly better) and yet I'm going to have to work to earn money to go to college, pay taxes on what I earn so that she can get a full ride then use my taxed money to pay for myself. "It's your parent's responsibilty" she says. "Same as yours," I'd like to say. I'd rather see NO scholarships because I am dirt poor yet the system doesn't help me - if anything it hurts me.

But thanks for the meaningful responses.

 

[meh]

I am sympathetic to your situation. What grants, loans and financial aid options have you looked into? They are out there. Lots of people can't afford a 4 year school...we start out at Jr. Colleges or get Associates Degrees and begin working to save up money to earn a bachelor's.

I am for you getting the education you want, and I am for this girl getting the education she wants. No matter how poor we were growing up, I had a mother and father who loved me, didn't beat me, didn't do drugs, etc. I am so far ahead in the luck department than this girl, and many others, that I would not ever begrudge them one cent of any help they can get.

 

[Moros]

No offense, but people shouldn't have kids if they can't pay for 'em. Your situation is due to, essentially, neglect of responsibility on the part of your parents. Don't think I can't empathize - my mother has 8 siblings. You'd think after difficulty supporting the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, even the first kid in some cases, you'd stop creatin' 'em. Box of rubbers - 8 bucks. 7 kids - poorhouse.

 

[hernyaccent]

I really feel a strong calling to be a politician because I think that this, among other things, is so wrong. I mean yeah, she's in an unfortunate situation - but no worse than mine (perhaps even slightly better) and yet I'm going to have to work to earn money to go to college, pay taxes on what I earn so that she can get a full ride then use my taxed money to pay for myself. "It's your parent's responsibilty" she says. "Same as yours," I'd like to say. I'd rather see NO scholarships because I am dirt poor yet the system doesn't help me - if anything it hurts me.

But thanks for the meaningful responses.

You WILL get a free ride if you have 7 siblings unless your grades are horrible. & trust me...being in a simalar situation to her I would trade a free ride to college for a family any day of the week. If I had a mother, father,sister or brother to go home every night I would work three jobs to go to college. IMO -->The system helps poor people. It seems to be middle class families who have the **** end of the deal. To much money to get finacial aid --but not enough to pay for their children to go to college.

 

[The_Horses_Boy]

I am sympathetic to your situation. What grants, loans and financial aid options have you looked into? They are out there. Lots of people can't afford a 4 year school...we start out at Jr. Colleges or get Associates Degrees and begin working to save up money to earn a bachelor's.

I am for you getting the education you want, and I am for this girl getting the education she wants. No matter how poor we were growing up, I had a mother and father who loved me, didn't beat me, didn't do drugs, etc. I am so far ahead in the luck department than this girl, and many others, that I would not ever begrudge them one cent of any help they can get.

To be honest I have looked but got quite dismayed by it. Grants were minimal, my family is "too rich" to get financial aid (can't afford for college though ), and most scholarships were to specific - not in a field I'd be interested in or not for me. But my brother is in college and he tried but doesn't get any federal grants or scholarships.

No offense, but people shouldn't have kids if they can't pay for 'em. Your situation is due to, essentially, neglect of responsibility on the part of your parents. Don't think I can't empathize - my mother has 8 siblings. You'd think after difficulty supporting the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, even the first kid in some cases, you'd stop creatin' 'em. Box of rubbers - 8 bucks. 7 kids - poorhouse.

Box of rubbers: "98% effective" which, for those of you who haven't exceled at math, means 2% ineffective.

You WILL get a free ride if you have 7 siblings unless your grades are horrible. & trust me...being in a simalar situation to her I would trade a free ride to college for a family any day of the week. If I had a mother, father,sister or brother to go home every night I would work three jobs to go to college. IMO -->The system helps poor people. It seems to be middle class families who have the **** end of the deal. To much money to get finacial aid --but not enough to pay for their children to go to college.

It does suck, but I have good grades and I don't think I'll be getting a free ride. My brother's in college and he has better grades than I do. He also is a trackstar who won the decathlon for the state and the regionals (NE and NY).

As somebody who just recently went through the enrollment process for College, I know what goes into the whole enrollment process... And I have to say, you're being a touch selfish here.

Selfish? Because I don't think that I should be paying for my education and someone else's?

It also reinforces the cycle from where she came from if there isn't something to encourage her to move forward with her life. The 18+ years that your family had to save up money for you and your siblings is something that this girl does not have working for her. So should she be punished for being unfortunate enough to be in the foster system? Should we encourage a practice that would leaving teens in the foster care system to not be adopted out (remembering that is the hardest age group to adopt out) when something very simple and relatively inexpensive as a college education can help her out, and help to break the cycle of her having children who are absorbed into foster care for whatever reason, and on and on and on?

Or we could talk about my Irish ancestry (think my family has a history of wealth?). Or we could talk about my Lithuanian ancestry (on my father's side my brother, a Freshman, is the first man to ever go to a college). Selfish my coddly. Break the cycle? My coddly.

And I hate to tell you... Your family being broke because your parents chose to have 7 children is not nearly as tragic as a girl waiting until the age of 13 to even HAVE parents.

Who said this was a "pity me" case? This is a case of unfair taxation. The government is going to tax the money that I earn for my college so that the government can send her to college.

And if your mother can afford to go to College, you can afford to go to College.

Afford to? It's all loans which she still owes.


What I think that you're failing to realize is that my family isn't actually low income. It's well above average, but the average income is supporting itself and perhaps another person - not itself and eight others.

And my problem isn't how I'm going to get into college, it's the government. I hate the government. She's unfortunate, so the government decides it's going to take my money and give it to her. Break the foster care cycle? My brother is a struggling freshman in college and the first man on my father's side to EVER go to college - btw, he's only got one class now. He's mostly working like crazy, trying to get money to go to a Christian college. Also, I hate that the government decides it can tax everybody and then give money to those who "deserve it" - take money from me and give it to somebody more deserving, eh? Or how you can tax a Christian for public education when he won't get one. Seriously, I'd rather people find a way to pay for their own unless the government can find a way to quit screwing everything up. Good ideas, good intentions - keep them away from the government because they ruin them.

 

[Moros]

Box of rubbers: "98% effective" which, for those of you who haven't exceled at math, means 2% ineffective.

98% effective = not having seven children

 

[hernyaccent]

To be honest I have looked but got quite dismayed by it. Grants were minimal, my family is "too rich" to get financial aid (can't afford for college though ), and most scholarships were to specific - not in a field I'd be interested in or not for me. But my brother is in college and he tried but doesn't get any federal grants or scholarships.

Your brother seems to be filing as dependant and not independant. All you have to do is maintain a job, file your taxes and get two professional and one personal letter that has to be preseted to th aid department at your college.

 

[happydapy]

Not tryign to be horrid but sometimes life sucks.
If you are in maine (which from this post it seems that you are) then check out the university of maine system or the community college system. I"m stuck at UMF, I dont' have the money to go elsewhere, I wanted to go out of state I never will be able to.
UMF gives really good financial aide.
Not gonna kid you, you'll be taking out some loans, but its better that you work for your colelge anyway. IF you are paying for it you will be more likely to attend those 8 am courses.
I"m sorry you are in this situation. But you do what you have to do. Community college get your grades up until you have a stellar GPA and then try again if the college you try to go to does not give you enough aid. Also if you talk to the financial aid office you might be able to negotiate more money out of them.

I am sorry for your situation but complianing is not going to help. SOme people just get a better break when it comes to finances then others.

 

[Achichem]

Frankly I'm a little shocked at your proposition.

I really feel a strong calling to be a politician because I think that this, among other things, is so wrong.

I mean yeah, she's in an unfortunate situation - but no worse than mine (perhaps even slightly better) and yet I'm going to have to work to earn money to go to college, pay taxes on what I earn so that she can get a full ride then use my taxed money to pay for myself.

Selfish? Because I don't think that I should be paying for my education and someone else's?

So basically what I'm getting is that if the shoe was on the other foot, you'd be for it, but since society can not address your case, it unjust and a travesty? And then everytime the government doesn't meet your needs, no ones needs should be addressed? That seems quite harsh to me.


I think it is wonderful that your friend can go to school, and by the way you are not paying for it, because over 50% of taxes are paid for by the rich(apox 15% of pop.) not the working class, that's political reality. Your dollars are going into proving basic governmental services, well the wealthy individuals of your community are the tax base which allow for anyone to get social programs and grants at all.Just so you know.

Ok but now, what to do....

I say take at least a year off to go network and pick up useful life skills(just don't get stuck in a dead end job, explore and network), eventually if you go that route you'll almost certainly be going to collage in a better financial position and with a lot better skill set to be successful at collage and afterwards. Nothing is worst then finishing collage and not being able to get a better job, because you bring nothing extra special to the table(or just can't sell it). Some people natrually can, others in a position to get schooling paid for but I don't think that is you. And that is fine, you didn't get lucky, big deal, it doesn't necessary make you worst off, trust me.

My suggestion from my own experience is one of two things: find some local entrepreneur or wealthy individual( their surprisingly easily to contact) and send them a letter expressing how you want to learn about how to get wealthy or "brake out of poverty". You believe that to do that you need to see how it works, then ask to shadow them and learn (for free). Trust me a ton of them are passively looking for an apprentice and I've seen it work quite a few times, it takes some gusto but in the end you'll be way better off and get a ton of applicable and valuable knowledge. Just so you know, of the people I've seen do this almost all ended up getting collage paid for within 3 years a few who had money in the bank well doing it(truly rare for us people who start with zero or below).

Or, join some type of contracted sales firm, even an MLM (if you think your good with people) there you can refine your skills of communication and sales, and then I guarantee come a few years down the road you'll have more scholarships then you know what to do with. Scholarships are 80% about ability to sell your situation. The ability to sell is priceless and will I guarantee save your butt many times in and outside collage.

 

[rowena]

I personally see no problem with her getting money to go to school. If I was living in Maine I would much rather my tax money go to help someone who actually wants to get an education then go toward (to take an example from my hometown) building a new baseball stadium.

However, I'm in a very similar situation to you. My mother is if not the highest paid receptionist in the state then pretty close to being the highest paid and my father is retired. Now they only have 2 kids to send to school, but they still don't have the money to do so. I've been stuck in a community college for 4 years (I took a year off) and I'm just now taking the last class for my Associates. My grades are good (although not good enough as they would need to be to get a full ride based on academic merit), but because I live at home and because of my age I can't file my FASFA as in independent student, so I get no help from the government. Because I get no help from the federal government, I have no chance of getting any need based aid from any of the schools in the area. Its not nearly as easy getting help from the school or the government as some of you are saying when you can't file as an independent. It is actually bad enough that I am planning of moving out of my parents house to live with my boyfriend in Wisconsin so I can go to school up there and file as an independent and hopefully get some need based aid.

All that being said, The_Horses_Boy I highly recommend working for your education. It might take longer and be difficult but you will appreciate it more then someone who had it handed to them. Not only that but it looks really good on resumes and stuff when employers find out that you worked your rear off not only in school but at a job at the same time.

 

[ebia]

Opinions?

Since you asked...

I'd rather see NO scholarships because I am dirt poor yet the system doesn't help me - if anything it hurts me.

"Thou shalt not covert..."

 

[The_Horses_Boy]

98% effective = not having seven children

I'm a codom baby. So is my older brother. So is my younger brother.

So basically what I'm getting is that if the shoe was on the other foot, you'd be for it, but since society can not address your case, it unjust and a travesty? And then everytime the government doesn't meet your needs, no ones needs should be addressed? That seems quite harsh to me.

Is it right that the government helps one poor person and not another? I don't have money for college - neither does she. She's getting a full ride off of taxes?

I personally see no problem with her getting money to go to school. If I was living in Maine I would much rather my tax money go to help someone who actually wants to get an education then go toward (to take an example from my hometown) building a new baseball stadium.

I'm of the mind to rather just not pay taxes. I think that we are overtaxed - how the government spends it spells out ludicrous!

All that being said, The_Horses_Boy I highly recommend working for your education. It might take longer and be difficult but you will appreciate it more then someone who had it handed to them. Not only that but it looks really good on resumes and stuff when employers find out that you worked your rear off not only in school but at a job at the same time.

I think you are defenitely right.

 

[Mirelys]

One interesting way to earn money for college, as well as earning your ability to file your FAFSA as an independent, is to be an ESL teacher for a year in a country that only requires a high school diploma for such a job. My cousin is teaching in Brazil this year, earning more money than you would think and a ton of life experience By the way, he didn't speak any language but English before he left; most schools want their ESL programs immersion-style.
Be creative. Think outside the box. There are always options.

I don't approve of the government giving handouts, but I'm happy when someone like your friend benefits from the system. Would you be happier if she didn't get any help either? Maybe it's a 'misery loves company' situation

I guess I can't really talk from experience though; I earned my scholarship because of my high school GPA. That's probably your best bet: get your GPA up and take as many advanced classes as possible. You'd be amazed at the doors that open.

He's mostly working like crazy, trying to get money to go to a Christian college.

That's great that he wants to go to a Christian (read: PRIVATE) college, though you do realize that private colleges are much more expensive than, say, the state university. Eeks, I can't imagine trying to pay for that...

 

[ebia]

I'm a codom baby. So is my older brother. So is my younger brother.

Since most failures with condoms are "human error" that invites speculation about your parents that I doubt you want.

 

[Achichem]

Is it right that the government helps one poor person and not another?

Yes I believe it is right. The aim of any social program is not to assist all poor people, it is there to help reverse common downward trends. I am happy to see adequate funding to any select group, far more then the all too common inadequate superficial funding that comes from this false premise you are advocating.

How can you see your situation fairly compared to the ramped problem of under privilege foster children? Your friend may not have it that bad in comparison to yourself, but what about others, have you look at the stats?Then I'd ask is your situation an exception or the norm? Cause if its an exception, do you really want your government dealing in those affairs?

I don't have money for college - neither does she. She's getting a full ride off of taxes?

Neither did I, and I've watch a few of my native friend get free government rides. I'm happy for them and think it 100% fair. Society is doing the responsible thing helping them and not me, and I'm just proud that the government is being chossey about who they give funding to, in fact I wish they did it more often.

It would have been nice to get my schooling paid for by the government, but that would have it own costs to society. I'm in a unique position and got by. My friends are in a very real trend that society is trying to help them out on. Intrestly enough both of us are doing just fine, and in fact I'm now in a better postion, funy how things turn out isn't it

I'm of the mind to rather just not pay taxes. I think that we are overtaxed - how the government spends it spells out ludicrous!

I actually agree, but then I'd predict your friend would still get the grant and you would not, of course in a different form.